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⇛ Park Seoul 9th District
5:45pm

"F-Felix," Chan gulped, mouth going dry when the younger sat next to him. "Y-you really came. Thank you."

"Of course," Felix smiled softly, looking down and fiddling with the paws of his sweater. "How are you?"

"Not bad," Chan shrugged, smiling awkwardly. "How are you? And I know I've seen you a on few days, but how was your week?" The boy giggled knowingly, sighing and lifting black cap from his head with detailed movements, boastfully shaking out the strands. "Anything interesting happened?"

"I'm not bad as well. And nothing interesting..." Felix paused to look at Chan, tilting his head when his gaze met the latter's. "You look- your hair. I could've sworn- did you dye your hair?" His eyes gleamed with joy and attraction, hand automatically reaching to feel the older's new brunette strands between his fingers. "You didn't like it blonde?"

"Y-yeah. It's just, I'm trying to become a new person. So I decided to change something in my physical appearance as well," Chan spoke lowly, slightly worried that the younger wasn't a fan of his new style. Not thinking twice, he rested a hand over Felix's wrist near his cheek, locking eyes with the younger. Their eye contact was seemingly the most intense and meaningful compared to all of their previous mutual gazes. "Don't you- don't you like it?"

"Of course I do," Felix smiled softly, too lost in their gaze to think twice about keeping his hand in Chan's hold. They kept staring, eyes breeding and exposing more emotions and feelings than their words or actions ever could- Felix's being clear, readable, and genuine; whereas Chan's, they were confused.

The surfaced emotions and expressions in Chan's eyes were muddled and somewhat aggravated. It was as if they didn't know what they were doing- only forcing their way to visible recognition because of the strong, heartfelt attraction to Felix's pleading ones.

The addict's mind was no longer in control at that moment. His reluctantly instilled instructions to avoid attachment with people around him was somewhat archived, and those regular, lustful desires had sobered. His heart was in control now. His heart that had gained more control over his subconsciousness from the previous weeks of knowing Felix- of becoming attached to Felix. And now that heart was at a new, surprising level of dominance that not even his nerves and impulses could overthrow.

Chan's heart was the only thing controlling his movements forward. His heart beats were the only thing coursing his veins with the confidence to connect his lips with Felix's, and keep them there despite the younger's light squeal. His heart had finally gotten that peace and new rank of authority when Felix soon melted back into the kiss, their equally plump lips moving in sync.

It was unplanned, but their unfathomable eye contact mixed with Felix's wrist gripped in Chan's hold just created the perfect and highly required environment for such activity.

Felix was skeptical at first, to kiss back the sex addict. His mind had skipped through so many reasonable questions in those few seconds of his resistance, but it was worth it. The questions of whether or not Chan had kissed other people, or explored other people's body parts with those lips, were the things that weren't worth it. That heart-bred kiss from the boy he liked was what mattered, and it seemed genuine, so why not kiss back...

They stayed lost in that soft, uncorrupt kiss for a while, until Chan himself pulled away, locking eyes with the younger once again. "L-lix," he gulped, unsure whether to kiss the boy again or apologize. "I-I'm sorry," he finally let go of Felix's hand, looking away to wipe off a tear that had escaped, sending a light but aggravated slap across his own face. "I should've asked, I'm sorry. I'm fucked up-"

"No, Chan," Felix rested a shaky hand on the older's shoulder, shivering when Chan locked gazes with him again. "Don't apologize, okay? I-I liked it."

"Y-you did?" Chan gulped, turning to face the younger again, refraining from a smile incase Felix was really only playing with him. "But I-"

"Chan, really. Don't apologize..." Felix hummed, softly stroking the older's clothed shoulder. His heart was beating rapidly aginst his chest at that point, tears of joy and frustration threatening to leave his eyes, but he held them back.

The joy that he felt was from the fact that the man he held so dear to his heart had kissed him. Chan had kissed him and was so uneasy at the fact that he didn't ask for consent first... so the addict really did have some humane values.

The frustration that Felix felt however, was because those questions that he'd managed to avoid during the kiss were then making their way back to the surface, clouding his mind with annoyance because he really, really didn't want to ruin the moment.

But damn it! Felix just couldn't stop being bothered by one specific, vital question that seemed to rise above all others. The worst of them all, actually- his mind couldn't stop dwelling on the still standing possibility of Chan being a player, a user, or nothing more than a man addicted to sleeping with other people for his own inconsiderate desires.

Felix's heart had to fight to hold up the other, more positive chances to the situation. His heart had to try to prove that Chan was somebody capable of loving, somebody capable of understanding, and stabilizing. But his heart, it needed one piece of evidence. Just one verbal confession that would at least seem real, and make the task of staying in love and not detesting the experience with their lips connected easier.

Just one question which's answer could either cause heart break and regret for one party, or a stepping stone for higher heights- a strengthened friendship that'd have the tendencies of becoming something... something more.

"C-can I ask you a question?" Felix gulped, lowering his hand from the older's shoulder, the new level of worry in his eyes frightening the other. "Don't think I'm weird or pushy, please. It's just- after this- I have to ask."

"What is it?" Chan mumbled, anxiously replacing his cap over his newly dyed strands. "Is everything okay?"

"Y-yeah. I just," Felix cleared his throat, closing his eyes and sighing before continuing. "D-do you like me? Or rather, do you think it's weird, that I like you?"

Chan froze up, heart skipping beats at the one question it was not prepared for- the one question that it had not figured out how to answer and transport to the mind yet- that one question in which it's new rank was still too low to ponder on.

That one question that Chan had fought with repetitively but came up with no answer, because he still didn't know what it was that he felt. He couldn't understand and explain what he felt. He just knew that being around felix made him happy, and he'd get a warm feeling in his stomach whenever he'd even think about the boy.

And that was what liking someone was, right? Thinking about them, cherishing them... kissing them? So he thought that he had to like Felix. There was no way that he didn't like the boy that had gotten him so far up in the progress of his abstinence. And there was no way that he'd ask the supposedly petty question of what love was just when Felix asked that heartfelt question so full of worry.

So Chan ignored the warnings from his heart to wait for it to rank up over his corrupt mind before telling Felix "yes"- and he ignored the callings from his mind that scolded him for even kissing the boy, because according to self-built norms, lust was the only thing that he should indulge in.

So his tongue took control. His nerves and muscles formed their way to emit a wanted and expected speech from his mouth to just keep the poor boy from breaking, and to give clarity to his own feelings. "I do," Chan mumbled, smiling softly and taking Felix's hand into his. "I do like you, and that's why I kissed you."

-

⇛ Seoul Sunshine Homes
8:55pm

"Not now, Minnie."

"Why don't you want us to come over? You didn't want us to come yesterday either," Seungmin sighed over the phone, Hyunjin frowning as he sat near his boyfriend, listening to Felix over the speaker. "Are you okay, Lixie?"

"I'm fine, Minnie," Felix spoke dully, forcing to hide the squeals and excitement deep in his voice to keep his friends' suspicion on a low. "I just have a lot of work to complete, but hopefully we'll meet up tomorrow or Monday. I'll keep you posted."

"Well I guess we can understand that," Seungmin thinned a smile at his partner's more saddened expression. "I hope you're not hiding anything from us, Lix. We know that you were really bummed out yesterday morning, so please don't go crying all night and not call us while thinking you're a burden. We love you, and you're part of us, okay? Don't hide anything. We are and always will be there for you."

"Aww, Seungie," Felix cooed, plopping stomach first onto his bed, not at all planning to brush his teeth that night- he just wanted to savor Chan's lips a while longer. "Don't worry, okay? I'm fine, but thank you. I love you too."

"Alright then. I guess we'll meet up tomorrow or Monday. Have a good night."

"Yeah you too," Felix blew a kiss before hanging up, flinging his phone to the other side of the bed and rolling to lay on his back, staring blankly at the ceiling.

"Chan kissed me," he mumbled, grinning and chuckling uncontrollably until the laughter subsided into sniffles. "Chan likes me." A tear ran down his cheek, mind overwhelmed with the memory and outstanding inquiries mixed with satisfaction and the craving of the feeling of Chan's lips against his once again.

He thought on how equally attractive the older looked with brunette hair; how it emphasized his dimples, how it highlighted his eyes and skin- how Chan was so perfect. Felix started to actually believe that he was helping the addict again. He got more motivation to continue and try even harder to get the boy he liked, and who liked him, to lean away from the lustful ditches that kept on erasing his progress.

But Felix knew that Chan still had a long way to go. Yes, the older knew about the boy's feelings, and had somewhat confessed his. But his confession was only that he liked Felix, whereas Felix's true, unspoken feelings were love.