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⇛ Park Seoul 9th District
6:45pm

"What do you mean by that?" Chan arched a brow, pouting slightly. "You don't have to pity me, Felix. I don't even deserve this," he looked away, sighing before looking back at the younger. "I didn't expect you to even talk to me after finding out that I slept with my therapist."

"Chan," Felix sighed, shaking his head at the older. "You remember what I said about honesty, right? Once you're honest with me, I can help you. And you were just honest with me a while ago, so why should I not stick to my word?" he smiled softly and plainly at the other, mind fighting to avoid the thoughts of hurt at the knowledge that the boy that he liked had an affair with someone else directly under his nose- not that Felix was surprised that Chan was still sexually active, but just the fact that he was sexually active with someone in such close relations with the younger. Well, at least it wasn't an ex or family member? Hm...

"I mean, yeah, honesty. But at the same time, there's only so much that you can do, Felix. We're only going to see each other like once a week now," Chan complained lowly, reaching his hand effortlessly to free his head from the hoodie. "You know, it's not that big of a deal. I was surviving without therapy, so I can survive now."

"Chan," Felix sighed, shaking his head at the other. "You remember your request to me last week?" He smirked when he noticed how shy the older had become, and how the boy had even pulled his hoodie back over his head to away to hide his nervousness. "I think you remember clearly. And I know for a fact that wanting to love without lust is not just an on-the-spot thought. I know that it was premeditated, which means that you've been thinking on it for a long time. So don't act as if you don't want my help, Chan," Felix chuckled softly, really hoping that the boy would not lose interest in their Saturday meetings, as Felix was genuinely looking forward for those times with the addict.

Chan genuinely wasn't aware of Felix's growing crush on him, especially knowing that he was an addict of the same thing that Felix always shied away from. He would never have guessed that someone as pure and unproblematic as the secretary would ever even look in his direction twice. So obviously, even though Chan thought that Felix was disgusted with his admission, he definitely didn't think that Felix was so secretly hurt by it.

"Felix I was in a different headspace," Chan tried to lie, still avoiding eye contact with the younger. "I don't want to inconvenience you. This isn't my first year like this, and it might not be my last but I'll get there..."

"Wait, you've been like this for years?" Felix raised his brows, perplexed at the older's statement. It was then that the memory of one of Seungmin's cautioning replayed in his mind; that time that the boy told him that he should try to find the root of Chan's problem. "Ho- how long, may I ask?"

Chan shook his head, clenching his jaw and closing his eyes as his mind ran over the dusty ruins of his past and the root of his current, long lasting situation. He had once again dug that pit for himself with another statement, unable to even feel upset at Felix for the boy's reasonable inquires. "Just a few years," he lied, rolling his shoulders in attempt to ease some anxious nerves. "But I'll be out of this soon-"

"How many years, Chan?"

Chan suddenly felt intimidated by the new depth in Felix's voice, shivering under the younger's gaze. He knew why Felix was so adamant to get information out of him, because for the small amount of times with the boy, he knew how the younger was practically built onto a throne of honesty and nothing less. So in order to get the help that he wanted, Chan knew that he had to tell the truth... but that's what he did not want to do- explains why he tried to deny his interest in getting help.

"...even years," Chan mumbled loud enough for only him to hear, still avoiding sight of Felix's direction.

"I didn't hear that clearly?" Felix scooted closer to the older, bringing his ear up to the addict's face. "Repeat?"

"Seven years, Felix. I've been a sex addict since high-school," Chan rolled his eyes at the younger, wishing that Felix would just kill that conversation or something. "You happy?"

Felix deadpanned, pouting slightly. The boy was shocked at Chan's answer. He'd never imagine that it was possible to be struggling with such addiction for such a long time, especially when he was skeptical in even believing that it was a real issue. "Chan," he mumbled, heart dropping when be noticed a tear run down the latter's face. "I'm sorry to hear that, nobody deserves this. But how did this even start?"

"Well," Chan sighed, sniffling some. "I don't know... my parents were never really, parents, and so I sought a feeling of belonging or something of such elsewhere," he tilted to look at Felix before continuing. "That's why I said that you sounded like my parents when you said I just wanted too much sex. That's what they kept telling me, because they never fucking understood."

"Chan-"

"So I kept falling deeper and deeper into it, until girls just didn't satisfy me anymore. Mostly because most of them were whores so they were always slack," he chuckled at the statement, shaking his head at that memory. "Yeah, there were a few virgins here and there but it was still not so enjoyable, so I tried guys. And that was it for me," Chan frowned subtly, looking off at the distance as he tensely awaited a response from Felix.

"Wow," Felix too giggled lightly at the older's story, staring off at the distance in turn. "I don't know what to- I'm sure that you'll get better, hm?" It was only then that the boy had realized the true depth of Chan's problem. It would take much more than Saturday meetings and morning texts and quotes to get the older back on track, but Felix was still determined; still willing to help Chan transform into the decent human being he once was. "What do you say we hang out more often now? Like more than just Saturdays?"

"Felix, you have work, and I don't want to be a burden to you, so that isn't necessary," Chan insisted, smiling softly at the younger. "I can get along with Saturdays-"

"Let me rephrase that," Felix smiled sarcastically. "We're going to meet up more than once a week. Once it's not in the mornings or early afternoons it won't inconvenience me."

Chan shook his head, sighing at Felix's persistence. "Fine," he muttered. "I'm free any day, so you chose. I can't meet up on the last day or two at the end of the month though," he bit the inside if his cheek at that statement, sighing out of relief when Felix's reply indicated that he had looked over it.

"No problem," Felix nodded enthusiastically, smiling softly at the older. "We could meet on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays?"

"Sure," Chan agreed, now forming that smile that Felix had missed so much. "It's a deal."

-

⇛ Seoul Sunshine Homes
9:45pm

"Felix... Felix... Felix. You just have an eye for the bad ones don't you," Seungmin shook his head, rolling his eyes at a blushing Felix. "I just don't know how you can still have feelings after finding out something like that."

"He goes deeper than his problem," Felix sighed, staring up at the ceiling. "He sounds like he's been through a lot, okay? I see no reason as to why I can't help him."

"He slept with his therapist, Lix. And I'm still not satisfied with his so-called honesty. I really wonder what he's so busy with on month ends," Seungmin scolded softly, slumping back deeper into the sofa as he eyed the younger.

"Minnie it's not like he slept with Changbin or someone close to me. And from the way he spoke, that was just a one time thing, so there's nothing to be scared of," Felix shrugged nonchalantly, tilting his head at the older. "And those dimples, Seungmin," his eyes lit up at just the thought. "His dimples are everything."

"Felix," Seungmin face-palmed. "Whether or not he slept with someone you're close to does not matter. He's a sex addict, and he made it very clear that he can't control it, so who says he isn't with someone right now? Guard your heart Lix," he shook his head. "You're becoming way too vulnerable, way to fast."

Felix sighed, nodding reluctantly at the obvious truth from the older. Maybe Chan was sleeping with some random person at that very moment. Maybe Chan showed that smile that the younger had loved so much to anybody who was willing to spread their legs for him.

But Chan couldn't have been so open with his past to anybody else, right? Right... so Felix bred a bit of hope from just that valuable assumption.

"Thanks," the blonde murmured, still staring blankly at the ceiling. "But I'll be okay."

-

⇛ Blueprint Apartments
10:00pm

"Changbin what do you want?" Chan asked annoyed, yawning and rubbing his tired eyes as he eyed the shorter at the front-door. "I thought we went over this."

"Why are you never home on early Saturday nights?" Changbin scoffed, ignoring Chan's discomfort, closely monitoring the older's every expression, preparing to start an argument if the boy had made the mistake of lying; as Changbin had clearly spotted the addict and the secretary on their hang out the previous week. "I came to check on you earlier, and your car wasn't there."

"Changbin," Chan clenched his jaw, clouded mind still not willing to slam the door in the younger's face. "Just last night I told you that I wanted to stop this because you're getting attached to me, and I don't do attachments. I've never even kept a hookup for so long."

"Answer the question," Changbin growled. "Where, or who, is getting your attention every Saturday?"

"It's none of your business, Changbin," Chan spat, sighing. "Now please leave me alone. Aren't three nights in a row enough for you? I'm not comfortable with this anymore."

"You sound like you had sex already for the night," Changbin chuckled sarcastically, peeping over Chan's shoulder to see if anyone accompanied the older. "Does Channie have a boyfriend?" He teased. "You know that he's a virgin, right?"

"What?"

"Oh nothing~" Changbin glared at the taller, turning around before continuing. "I'll be back, Chan. I'll be back tomorrow, because by then, I know that those undeniable desires will be back," he smirked. "Have a good night."

"Fuck you."

Chan was weakly fighting every urge to call the shorter back in as he watched the boy stroll teasingly to the exit of the building . It was indisputable that the blonde wanted Changbin just as the younger had rubbed the addict's neediness in his face... and it was pathetic.

But he couldn't control it.

"Changbin," Chan called out, stopping the boy before he got to a far enough distance. "S-sorry. Let's get this over with."