2 | two
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⇛ Blueprint Apartments
1:00am
"Felix?" Seungmin called from the outside, body shivering from the late night's low temperature matched with the air conditioner in that complex, but mind focused enough to be there for his best friend. "Lix, I'm here, come open for me please," he spoke again, strengthening his knocks against the door.
Waddling up to his front door, shoulders slumped with swollen eyes, Felix let the young male inside. "Minnie," he greeted with a whimper, already falling back into sobs as Seungmin unhesitantly took the brunette into his arms, pushing his slightly further into the hallway to freely close the door behind them. "He's still not back," Felix muffled, "I- I don't even know what to do."
"Calm down, Lix. Let's talk with cuddles?" Seungmin hummed, comforting, drawing circles along Felix's sweater-covered back, and sighing as more and more sobs met the comfort of his shoulder. "Let's lay on the couch, hm?"
Felix then nodded, letting go of his friend and walking unenthusiastically to the sofa; Seungmin's heart softening as he observed the too-large but cutely fitting sweater hugging Felix's body.
Finding both their ways to the couch, Felix laid on top of Seungmin, the youngest, and curled up in the latter's arms, both just a tad bit uncomfortable, but Seungmin wasn't willing to lay in the couple's bed in fear of Changbin finding something strange with the uncommon scent in his bedroom.
"What did he do this time, Lix? What did he do to make you cry so much?"
Coughing, cheeks lined with tears, Felix struggled to give a loud-enough answer, "H-He keeps pressuring me," he whimpered, voice quivering as he buried his face deeper into his friend's chest, "He keeps pressuring me to have sex, and gets mad when I say no," Felix continued, Seungmin sighing out of anger as he listened to the boy's admission.
"Changbin keeps pressuring you for that? Am I hearing correctly?" Seungmin arched his brows, eyes stuck in a gaze at the ceiling as he thought over the older's statement. "What is wrong with him? You deserve better, Lix."
Nodding some, Felix spoke again, "The worst thing is, every time we have that argument, he just leaves and doesn't come back until morning," he muffled, throat dry from his prolonged cries. "I don't want to believe he's cheating, but I- I can't help it."
"Doesn't he know that you're a virgin?" Seungmin questioned knowingly, resuming his strokes along the blonde's back. "Or does he assume you're just scared or something?"
Sitting up from Seungmin, still slightly leaning against his, with slender arms stretching along his legs with a yawn, Felix responded, "He thought I was trying to hide an STD or something until tonight," he looked down, another tear making its way down his flushed cheeks- red from the overflow of clogged emotions.
"I- I only really admitted that I was a virgin tonight, and he didn't take it so well... Maybe because we've been together for a while now and I never spoke up about it. I don't know why he can't just give me time to get comfortable enough with my body to have sex," Felix shivered, searching for the right words, "When I told him everything, after yelling at me about how I don't trust him and how I'm be cheating on him and- how I'm only using what I said as an excuse," he gulped, thickly, "he did what he always does- he left, and is yet to come back. He left a while ago actually, but I got lonely so I called you."
Seungmin hugged the older from behind upon noticing his failed attempt to hide the continued sobs.
"You don't deserve him, Lix. You don't deserve to be treated like this, and both me and Hyunjin have been trying to tell you to leave him," he blushed, charmed at just the mention of his partner. "You need to leave him and then eventually find someone who is willing to respect your wishes and love you for you," Seungmin advised, pulling Felix again to lay down in his arms. "Changbin doesn't know what he's missing out on. He doesn't know that you go way deeper than sex, and that he just needs to give you time."
"But I love him," Felix whined, stubborn, "he's my first serious relationship and I just think that-- I think that if I give him a chance, he'll change," he merged his undeniably false hope into words, unable to keep back a figurative shock of guilt and selfishness for his unwillingness to give something so seemingly simple to his boyfriend. "I think I'll just do it," Felix thought out loud. "If that's what it takes to keep him, I mean why not?"
Seungmin swiftly slapped a hand over Felix's mouth, a stern glare following. "There will be none of that. He is not worth it. Who says he won't throw you aside after getting what he wants?" Seungmin warned, still rubbing a sniffling Felix's back. "Now do me a favor- do yourself a favor actually. When Changbin comes home in the morning, end it. Break up with him and keep your foot down. Save your virginity for someone who's worth it."
Felix only nodded into Seungmin's chest, tightening his grip around the male's back.
"Thank you, Minnie," he mumbled, "Thanks for everything. You and Hyunjin mean the world to me, thank you." Felix smiled, wide and sincere, face still buried into the other's chest. And Seungmin too smiled at the replay of his lover's name; he loved that boy so much, and the only reason why Hyunjin wasn't with the two at the moment was because, apparently, he was in dire need of his beauty sleep.
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⇛ Blueprint Apartments
1:45am
Chan laid back-first on his bed, disquietingly apathetic, hand effortlessly palming himself in a frail attempt to satisfy the needy flesh that Changbin had left unattended. He didn't necessarily like his life like that- needing some sort of sexual contact every day for close to normal functioning in society.
He didn't enjoy the way his mind forced him to fantasize everyone that he passed by; everyone that said a word to him or openly admired his physique.
Considering the fact that the pitiable decision to become a stripper in hope of finding easy hookups had backfired, the blond felt, even more, worthless- hopeless. Maybe the universe was trying to tell him to settle down and work on himself.
But it wasn't that easy. It wasn't a painless task to give up the indisputable pleasure that he felt whenever he complied with the commands of his abnormally active hormones.
It wasn't that easy to give up the one thing that made him feel like somebody- the one thing that made him feel genuinely welcomed into someone else's story.
It was addicting, that feeling of belonging- and he craved it more and more each day. So the supposed satisfaction that he gained after every round just kept digging deeper and deeper into Chan, urging him to sleep with more and more people that he knew hardly anything about.
All sense of self and being were involuntarily accepting heavy coats of lust by the day- by the hour; each layer thicker than the other.
It'd have to take one huge ass shovel to dig that up, and pull out some genuine, human-like emotions- one huge ass heart to give his shadowed one a reason to beat- to hope. And one unrealistically open mind to not base a relationship on his past- to overthrow the reigning monarchy of lust in his head, and teach his pathetically inexperienced, captive emotions how to love.
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| Lee Felix | 20 years old |
❝I wouldn't want my first time to be with a fucking sex addict.❞
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