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⇛ Seoul Sunshine Homes
5:40pm

Minho had informed Felix that the clinic would remain inactive for the rest of the week. The boy was confused but in no position to question it, so he simply agreed and looked on the bright side- he got a short, needed holiday.

But that week was still unsettling and frustrating as Felix could make the obvious assumption that Chan had blocked his number. Considering the fact that he ringed and texted the boy endlessly until the messages stopped delivering and calls started going straight to voicemail, it was clear that Chan had blocked him or something of that sort. And it hurt, actually. Felix was genuinely eager to help Chan through his 'recovery' journey, so the silent treatment from the older was quite discouraging.

But even though the older had completely halted communication for the past few days, Felix still worked up the guts to follow schedule and meet the addict at the park- well that was if Chan had kept the timing as well.

Felix pouted as he eyed his casual sweats in the mirror once more before collecting his phone and keys, scanning the device's screen hopefully, but sighing when there was still no response from the older.

"Chan," the blonde mumbled, shaking his head and sighing. "I hope you're okay."

-

⇛ Park Seoul 9th District
6:04pm

Felix strolled into the park hesitantly, arms folded as he observed a few strangers here and there, hanging in groups or singles at different proportions of the space. He approached the usual, empty bench, pouting slightly as he noticed that no one was there. He did kind of expect that, but at the same time he wished that Chan would at least show up and talk things out.

Felix couldn't help but feel as if it was his fault, as if it was him that pushed the older away. He thought that maybe his quotes and frequent text messages were a bit too strong for the older, and maybe that's why Chan suddenly pulled away. Maybe Chan just wasn't the soft type and got creeped out by Felix's gestures.

Felix closed his eyes, sighing and letting a tear run down as he realized it had been almost a half-hour since he had been there. The last time that Chan had met up so late, there was at least a bit more surety of his arrival as they were on good terms, but now there was no clarity as to whether or not Chan would show up after three whole days of ignoring the younger.

"Well," Felix mumbled, sighing, making his way to get up. "I really hope you're okay, Chan," he brushed a hand over the empty spot on the bench, lips quivering as his mind ran over all those laughs and intimate conversations with the addict. "I'm sorry if I really did do anything wrong-"

"You did nothing, Lix," Chan bit the inside of his cheek, breathing heavily as he stood over a still sitting Felix from the back of the bench, palms perched against the backrest. He clenched his jaw and gulped before continuing, walking over to sit next to the younger. "You did nothing wrong to me, so don't go hard on yourself."

"C-Chan," Felix's eyes lit up with both hurt and satisfaction. "I-I was worried, about you. I thought I did something to cause you to ignore me like that... so why did you?"

Chan looked away, fidgeting with his fingers while a black hoodie stayed put over his head. "Rough week," he muttered, avoiding eye contact with the younger.

Chan had really fought hard with himself to take that step and join Felix on their hang out. The boy had already made up his mind to cut the younger off completely, but some conscience-like sensation formed in his abdomen, rearing feelings of guilt whenever his mind would run over the latter. It was so strong that the boy could no longer resist, so he just had to push through and accompany the secretary that he had ignored for almost an entire week.

But the worst thing was that Chan knew that Felix would question his reasoning and later inquire about Minho's yelling at the office, and Chan was prepared for neither of those questions.

He didn't know how to tell Felix that after he flashed the younger those warm, innocent smiles, he'd go right ahead and sleep shamelessly with his therapist. He didn't want to tell Felix how he was responsible for breaking the doctors' relationship, especially as he knew that there would be follow up questions and statements, eventually leading up to the confession that he had slept and was still occasionally sleeping with Felix's ex.

"But I'm sorry, for treating you like that. Tell me, how have you been?" Chan pouted subtly.

Felix tilted his head at the older, lips parting slightly as he observed Chan's lack of attempt to at least hide his distaste. The older didn't even flash those dimples at Felix since he had joined the boy, and probably it was unintentional, but Chan wore a unimpressed and sort of annoyed composure.

Reflexively, Felix thought that the boy's newly displayed attitude was because of him. But it's agreeable that such feeling surfaced only because Felix had no idea that the only thing that Chan was annoyed and unimpressed with was the constant nagging and raging of the voices in his head, and how his lustful desires kept painfully growing to block out the strengthening knocks of something good and pure.

"Chan, are you okay?" Felix questioned softly, lips quivering but he wasn't sure if it was a shiver from the breeze or the tears threatening to leave his eyes. "Can I ask why, you ignored me?"

"Just stressed..."

"You haven't even smiled at me, Chan. Have you gotten any better? I know that you missed like all of your appointments this week because the clinic was closed."

Chan tilted at the younger when he heard that news about the clinic, confused as to whether or not the two had closed up because of that incident. "Closed?" He muttered. "Why were they closed?"

"Wait... you didn't know? I could have sworn that they informed all their patients though," Felix pursed his lips, staring off at the distance then back at Chan. "So wait, if you didn't know they closed, that means that you intentionally skipped your appointments."

Chan deadpanned, internally cursing himself when he noticed what an accidental sellout he was. "No I mean- I mean I know it was closed, but why?"

Felix shook his head, narrowing his eyes at the older. "I don't know," he mumbled. "Since Tuesday when you left in such a hurry, things have been different, a weird different. And don't tell anyone, but I saw Dr. Han in his boxers," he chuckled lightly at the last statement.

Chan gulped, looking away from the younger. "That's crazy," he muttered, looking down. "I- I actually don't think I'll be coming back though."

"What? Why?" Felix rested a hand against the older's knee, stroking over the cloth gently. "Are you sure that everything is okay with you?"

Chan's eyes fell onto the hand on his knee, observing how the palm cupped the joint so perfectly and purely. "It doesn't help me, Lix," he sighed, mentally preparing to tell at least half of the truth.

"What do you mean, if I may ask?" Felix grew more concerned, scooting closer to the older. "How does it not help you? It's therapy..."

"I had fucking sex with my therapist, Felix," Chan spat unintentionally, slapping both hands over his face and sighing as he felt the touch of younger retreat from his knee. "I'm a really horrible person," he muttered, starting soft cries into his palms.

Chan really didn't mean to admit the truth like that. It was probably done in attempt to just silence some stupid quarrel between those same exasperating, mind-bred voices to conserve the remainder of his sanity. But the boy instantly regretted his confession, yet still fought every urge to just get up and walk out on the younger.

Felix stayed silent for a moment, blankly staring at the now sobbing addict, heart melting at how vulnerable Chan had become. It was clear to see that the older didn't purposefully let out that shameful information, and as much as he was disappointed and a bit disgusted, he could see that Chan was not proud of what he did.

But Felix was still upset at the addict, especially after assuming that Chan was actually trying to keep that information from the person who was genuinely willing to help him. He thought that if it had to take such interrogation to get such a secret out of the older even after a decent talk on the importance of honesty, what other sinful episodes could Chan be harboring?

"Chan that's messed up," Felix scoffed, tracing his tongue over his lips as they became chapped from the cold air hitting them constantly. "Is it that you just want too much sex, Chan? I'm not judging you but this is a big freaking deal. You knew that he had a boyfriend for who know how many years, and he's like way older than you. Why would you do something like that?"

"Fuck, Felix, you sound just like my fucking parents," Chan rolled his eyes, disappointed at himself for spilling, and slightly upset at Felix for his judgmental response. "You think I want to do this shit? No, you think I enjoy, depending on sex for a living? Look, the problem is not just wanting too much sex, okay? I can't fucking control it," he growled, lowering his hands to stare at the younger comfortably, unaware that the red stains from the constant tears in his eyes was somewhat scary to the latter.

"Sorry," Felix mumbled, looking away swiftly. "It's just, I think you can make a greater effort, Chan. I also think that you should switch back to your original therapist, and confess everything to him, I'm sure that he can help you and cause greater improvement."

"I can't go back."

"What? Why?"

"I was banned, Felix. He caught us in the act and ordered that I don't go back to either of their offices, or their premises as a whole," Chan sighed, looking away from the latter.

It was only then that Felix remembered Minho's orders to ensure that Chan didn't step foot at the building again. It all started making sense, but Felix still wished that he had remained ignorant to it all. "C-Chan," he muttered, unsure of exactly what to say, not wanting to just give up on the older completely. "Don't worry, I'll still try to help you through this."