I knew he was unhappy with his performance, I knew that he was nervous, I could feel it. Even though we were not together anymore, I could feel everything he was feeling. He feels that he failed, that it is not worth it to continue, that he should practice more that song.

I know the love of my life like the palm of my hand. I wish I could be there with him, to support him to let him know that he will do better next time, that he just need to warm up his voice, needs to practice more his high notes, and even reduce them a little bit.

*********

— Harry, you did it great, you were able to control it.

— It was a mess, Jimmy. I couldn't reach my own high notes... How is that possible?

— You are being harsh with you Harry, it was not that bad, people loved it - my manager was there of course trying to comfort me.

— There is just one person that will tell me the truth...

— Who?

— My ex-wife Jimmy, she's the only one that will tell it on my face even if it hurts.

— Are you sure you wanna call her? - Jimmy asked worried about me, the look on my manager reflects the same as Jimmy.

— Samantha Evans? You are not thinking on calling her, aren't you? - I heard Kendall, I know I said that I was not dating anyone when I was at the BBC radio1 and Kendall got mad since I denied her, but I couldn't say it.

— Watch me!

I dialed that number that was stuck in my head since the day I saw her the first time in Manchester. I know we promised to be in touch, but been without her was not easy, so I couldn't call her or text her until a few weeks ago that we saw each other. It was not planned, she was as surprised as me, I was getting dinner with some friends when she arrived. She was with her parents, and they were happy to see me. She was too, I could see it in her eyes, they were bright and watery, the same as mine...

— Harry? - I heard her sleepy voice.

— Did I wake you up?

— Not at all... what happened?

— I know you know Sams, how was it?

— You missed some notes, you need to warm up your voice a bit more, try to change the song a bit, try not to force your voice, the high notes can be reduced, it was not that bad, but could be better Haz... I know you can and I know you would...

— Thank you... - I smiled, I know I can still counting on her

— No problem, and Haz... take that disappointment face off of you! You didn't disappoint me, or anyone, a lot of time out of the music industry can payback, you are wonderful Haz, that's what I love from you, that beautiful and perfect voice. Eyes bright and smile baby, this is your time love, don't lose it just for a mistake.

— Sams... I...

— I know - she cuts me out - I miss you and I love you too, I still do Haz, I never stopped...

— What? - everything started spinning around, the love of my life is still in love with me after all this time. After all what I did, all what we went through, the loss of our child... Oh God I love this woman more than anything.

— I'm flying to the US in a couple of hours Haz, I want to see you, I want to be with you again... I've been trying to get over you, to forget you, to hate you... but my love for you is so big that it kills me not to be with you and demonstrate you how much I love you Haz, I... I want to be with you, God knows I want it... if.. if you take me back - she whispers.

— Oh my God of course I will... - Harry is your turn, I heard the producer.

— Go, see you in a couple of hours... - she chuckled.

— I... love you babe...I still do... and I will for the rest of my life.

She blow me a kiss through the line and then hung up. I remain there, with a smile on my face, she is mine again, she's my wife again. Thanks mom for advise me not to initiate the paperwork for our divorce.

— Harry... - I heard Kendall.

— Not now, I have to go to the stage...

Her look was sad and angry. She knew about my feelings for Sam, she knew that I still love her and that I will let anything behind just for her...

Ever since New York, all what we went through during our younger relationship, everything is dedicated to her... She is making me the happiest man on earth. I lost her twice already, I don't want to lose her a third time. The show ended, thank God 'cause I'm exhausted.

— Jimmy thank you so much...

— More than welcome pal, hope you have a safe flight.

— No, I'm staying for a couple of days, I have tickets for the Rangers game, so...

— Yeah, got it. You wanna go for a drink?

— No man, thanks. I'm tired, and Kendall is here so...

— She left as soon as you went on stage for the second song...

— What?

— Yeah, I thought she told you...

— No she didn't... I need to talk to her...

— I think you should Harry, have a good night! -

I got out of the studio, got into the van and dialed her number.

— Leave me alone Styles, you already decided, go back to your wife and leave me alone.

— Kendall, I really didn't want this to happen, I was about to call my lawyer and start the divorce, but...

— You still love her, I get it... I always knew, when you were with me I knew you were thinking of her, you cum because your thoughts were with her... You called me Sams once Harry, you were drunk when you came home, and you pulled me into your arms, I felt like everything was wrong with us, but when you hugged me, I thought that I was crazy, I heard you whispering into my ear the sweetest things a girl will expect from her boyfriend, but those words were not meant to be for me, but for her... - Kendall was crying, I heard how her voice was cracking — because you said it Harry, you end those words with I love you Sams... and then... you made love to me... LOVE! - she yelled — Before that you just fucked me as you will... Next day, you woke up like nothing happened, and...

— Just left to take the plane to film Dunkirk.

— Yes... - she whispers.

— Kendall, I... I'm sorry.

— Do not look for me ever again, forget about me, erase my number, I will ask someone to bring your stuff to your place, and make sure to pick up mine. Goodbye Harry.

The line was cut off. I hurt her, the last thing I wanted to but what should I do? Stay with her and forget about Sams now that I know she's still in love with me? I want her back, with all my heart.

I arrived to my house, that freaking house that I bought for Sams and our baby, the baby we lost before getting married. The nursery remains intact, I wanted to surprise her, but when we lost it, I sealed the room. I went to my studio, and start the DVD I filmed when we knew she was one month pregnant, how her belly was getting bigger, and all the food she ate, how we fought about names, how I filmed her while she was sleeping, when she laughed and sang to our baby.

She was so perfect, and I let her go. I was so fucked up, the hiatus, my friends gone. I felt terrible, I had to do something so I left to Jamaica without telling her, I never called, so she left me. When I got back to our anniversary she was already gone. I went to her old apartment, but she was not there anymore, and it was on sale.

— Sam, where are you?

— Long gone Harry, you forgot about me, you forgot about everything... so I did the same.

— You are my wife Sam, you cannot leave....

— Now you remember that you have a wife? But you didn't when you flew to Jamaica all by yourself.

— How did you know where I was?

— Anne told me, I asked her where you were, and she said "we are in Jamaica sweetheart" - she imitates my mother's voice  — "Harry told me that you were too busy with your company and that's why you were not able to come" So I said the truth to her... that I didn't know about anything, that you just left when I was in Seattle.

— That's the reason my mom got angry with me, and left me in Jamaica.

— I don't know and I don't care Harry, I will send you the papers.

— Which papers? What are you talking about?

— I want the divorce Harry, I don't want to have your last name attached to my name anymore.

— Sam, no... babe you cannot do that... Let's talk about it.

— Oh yes, I can and I... will - I heard her voice cracking — It always was an error, first Taylor, then Cara and then that shitty Jenner. I can't compete with them anymore Harry... there's nothing else to talk...

— It was never a competition Sams

— It felt like that Harry, I thought that with the hiatus everything will be ok, but it got worst, you had me there just for appearance, to satisfy you.

— Sam... I...

— Don't say anything, because I will believe you, and my heart is really broken, too broken...

— I will start the paperwork, don't worry about it. - I said giving up.

— Thank you...

— I will send your stuff, give me the address...

— I already took everything - she said whispering - There's nothing else there from me, bothering you.

— Sams...

— Have a good life Harry, you can go back to her... - she hang up.

I hurt her really bad, I never had the balls to say to her that I was embarrassed about what I'd become, I had no band, and I felt that I disappointed her... if I had spoken, none of this would have happened. I was really and asshole, but she needed to heal, her career is a success, she finished her studies and moved on. I saw her with someone, she was in the magazines... I feel so proud about her... We have a lot to talk about, what am I gonna say to her?

***********

—  Are you going to take Bi with you? - Ems asked me after I told her about the phone call.

—  Should I?

— That's why I'm asking Sammy, Harry has to know about his daughter...

— I know, but... I'm afraid that he doesn't believe me...

— Sam, she's identical... she even had his dimples, and darker green eyes...

— And his smile...

— Bi is a girl version of him, and he's not stupid, he would do the count... you got pregnant at the end of March, and you gave birth to this amazing little being on December 23rd. He needs to know Sammy, it's his right.

— Ems, Harry left me... - I started to feel angry.

— Sam, he left you I agree... Did you give him the chance to explain? What if he felt alone while you were in Seattle? Why you didn't take him with you? The hiatus was too much for them.

— What do you know that I don't?

— I know this because of Louis, when Zayn left was too much for Harry to handle, he felt devastated, they felt really bad, all of them were so close to each other, so they started to talk about the split of the group, so Harry convince them to finish the tour at least. Sammy, you forgot something really important... Harry is a very dependent person when he loves someone, he's needy...

— Oh my God, Ems... what did I do?

— Sammy, you were tired, everything that happened with your first and second baby, Cara... Kendall... even though was not totally Harry's fault, it was the last drop that made you take that decision... Sammy, you have to tell him, you deserve to have your family back, you deserve to be happy.

— But... what happens if Harry doesn't believe is his daughter? What if he change his mind about us because of Bianca?

— Stop thinking in that way Samantha Evans! Harry is the most wonderful human being I have ever known, he loves you with all his heart, he wants to have you back, he has been waiting for you all this time...

— What? How do...?

— Do I know this? He told me, I've been talking with him since you left him. He was devastated, he waited for you for over a week and then he left, expecting you to call him, he tried several times, but you were always busy, that's what Jacob told him, over and over again. He said to me that he always knew his feelings for you, and that he was taking advantage that he was not there with you, Harry was waiting for you to invite him to come to Seattle but...

— I never do it... I was so used to travel alone because of his tours that I totally forgot about it, all this was my fault Ems, are you going with me?

— Yes, I cannot separate from this little angel for more than five minutes... imagine if you go for more than a week...

The suitcases were in the trunk, Dom will be driving us to the airport with mom.

— Bring Harry home sweetheart!

— I will try mom, let's hope for the best.

— Everything will be fine Sammy, no worries, Harry will be so happy to see you kiddo, talk about it and get back home with my little girl!

— I will Dom, promise.

We board the plane waiting for a long trip to USA. My stomach has a huge knot, I felt dizzy and excited, also really worried about Harry's reaction about Bianca, our daughter, the one we lost long ago and we thought that no other angel will come to our life. I remember as if it was yesterday... When I found out that I was pregnant...

I was sick for a few weeks, I ate but everything that touched my stomach was throw up later on. I asked Brenda to come with me, if I was really sick, I wanted to have someone with me...

— Mrs. Evans?

— Yes?

— Dr. Stewart is waiting for you.

— Thanks, c'mon Brenda, I'm not going there by myself...

— Evans? - she whispered - You are Styles, not Evans.

— I know, but... you know what would happen if I said it...

The doctor was sitting at his desk waiting for me.

— Hello Samantha, come in. Sit down please.

— Thank you Dr. Stewart. Do you have my test results?

— Yes, I have them here. But before we continue, how's your husband?

— Good, he's in a business travel right now... - fortunately I didn't take my ring off my finger, so he could actually see that I'm a married woman. - That's why my mom is here with me today.

— I understand... you said you were feeling sick, that everything you eat later on is threw up.

— Correct, my body is killing me, I felt it really heavy and I feel tired at the same time.

— Sore breasts?

— Yes...

— Mood swings?

— Every day...

— Fatigue?

— Of course, as mentioned to you.

— Mrs. Evans, you are not sick, there's no flu or any stomach viruses... You are one month old pregnant.

— No... it's not true - my eyes went watery. Pregnant? Again?  — It's impossible.

— No ma'am, it's very possible.

— What I mean is, I have to put myself in treatment before getting pregnant or I will lose my baby. It happens before, I lost it before the 20 weeks. My blood is very thick, I cannot explain it very clear...but

— I know what you mean Samantha, we did extensive blood tests, so don't panic, I won't let this baby die, I promise. But you will have to fly to Switzerland to start your treatment, it will be hard and painful but it will be so worth it.

—You promise?

— I promise Samantha, you will have your baby with you in 9 months.

And as he promised, I had my Bianca in my arms on December 23rd, the same date I met Harry.

That date means so much to us, now even more. My mom went crazy when I told her about my pregnancy, I remember Brenda crying and trying to convince me to call Harry.

I flew to Switzerland a couple of days after that appointment, really afraid of what would happen. It was very difficult, and painful for me and for my baby, it was a long treatment of pills and injections, but it was so worth it, and my baby girl is healthy. I stayed there, until a few weeks ago when I flew to London to see my family and was able to see that Harry released his first solo single. On our anniversary and with that song. Beautiful song, it was meant for us, then I saw him...

He was getting dinner with some people, when I arrived with my parents. Brenda was in California and Dom was in Australia and my dad flew to London to see Bianca. I left her with Ems since she was a bit sick, and I wanted to have some time with my parents.

— Is that Harry? - my mom asks.

— Yes it is - I heard my dad and in a split second they were hugging and talking to each other.

— Sam is with us - I heard my mom and she moves a bit so he can see me, I felt the same butterflies in my stomach as if it was the first time. I had to approach them, and then I saw it in his eyes... I saw his love for me was not over, the same as mine was not vanished.

— Hello love...

— Hi Haz... how are you?

— Good, you?

— Fantastic... I'm sorry for interrupt your dinner.

— It's ok, I'm happy your dad interrupted us.

— Congratulations on your new single release... I really like the song, in fact I love it.

— Really? Thank you Sams - listening that nickname again from his lips makes me jump in joy.

— Sweetheart, let's go to eat something, and let's leave Harry with his friends, we took a lot of time from him by now.

— It's ok John it's always a pleasure to talk to you and see you...

— You're always so sweet Harry, come and visit us some day...

— Sure I will...

I asked for the farthest table of the restaurant, I didn't want to see Harry. It was unbearable to see him again all of the sudden after a long time being apart. He was so handsome, with his short hair... I loved him even more after that encounter.

I fall asleep with Bianca on my chest. Thankfully there were some sits available on first class, they brought me a warm blanket for her, since she was getting a bit uncomfortable.

When we landed, Zayn was waiting for us at the airport. I was surprised when I saw the big sign.

— What..? Zayn?

— Hey gorgeous, how are you?

— What are you doing here?

— I'm good, thanks...

— I'm sorry Zayn, hi... - I jump into his arms in excitement, it was more than a year without my best friend. — How did you...

— Know? Emma, she texted me and I couldn't say no to her... and I want to meet my niece...

— Oh Zayn... I missed you so much. Let's go to the hotel.

— Oh no love, you are stayin' with me.

— Hell no - I heard Ems — Sorry Zayn, but your girlfriend is not one of my faves.

— Ems c'mon... you too?

— I'm still thinking you cheated on Perry, but that's not what I hate her...

— Yeah, I guess why... Alright, let's go to the hotel.

Zayn took us to the most luxurious hotel in New York. I was craving to see Harry, but I have to give him time.

— He's at the Rangers game, you can call him after the game.

— Zayn, can you come and pick me up as soon as Harry arrives?

— Sure thing love... now can I see my little Bianca?

Bianca was surprised with Zayn, but she recognized him or that's what I thought since she didn't cry when she saw him, I show her a lot of pictures of her uncles, I always want to have them around her, at least... He started to do faces to her and she laughs and giggles.

I wanted to see the rest of the boys, but it will be too painful for me and for them... Being apart for so long, it's... not sure how to explain it, but not good.

My phone took me out of my thoughts. A text from Harry...

"Sams? Did you landed"?

"Yes, I'm staying at the Four Seasons" - I texted back.

"As soon as the game is over, I'm heading over to the hotel. I'm dying to see you babe" - A smile appeared on my face, I want to see him, hug him... kiss him. I'm craving for a night with him on his arms...

"Me too Haz, hurry up please"

We ate lunch in our room and he wanted to put Bianca into a nap, but she was jetlagged, she was so awake, that she doesn't want to sleep every time Zayn tried to put her for it.

— She doesn't love me - he jokes.

— I had to put her to sleep at the plane several times, she overslept. Of course she's active.

— I can see that - he was staring at Ems playin' with her — everything will be alright Sam, don't you worry. He loves you, he told you.

— But...

— No buts love, everything will be fine.

Zayn left after two hours with us and Ems went with him, since Harry texted me that he was heading to the hotel. I told him the number of the room and waited anxiously.

Thirty minutes passed, and I heard a knock on the door. I open it up, and I just felt a body crushing on me, holding me tightly and kissing me softly. I surrender, I was craving for this for so long, that I don't want to wake up if it's a dream. The owner of those lips that were kissing me so passionately separate from mine, gasping for air.

— Hi Haz... - my arms on his neck, his on my waist.

— A year...

— What?

— Without your lips, without touching you, without your love. Oh Sams, I missed you so, so much. I thought I lost you babe. 

— Oh my... Harry... - tears run down my cheeks. — I'm here babe, touch me, feel me... I'm here just for you, I... I love you Harry.

— God! - he yelled — Love you too baby girl.

We were about to kiss again, when Bianca starts crying.

— What was that?

— Bianca...

— Who's Bianca?

— Your daughter Haz...

— My what? - his face is pale, he starts sweating.

— Wanna see her? - I was worried, I feared for this moment.

He started to walk towards the bedroom, looking for her crying sound. When he saw her it was like slow motion, she stops crying as soon as Harry took her in his arms.

— How? Is it really mine? - and she starts smiling, as soon as he saw her eyes, and dimples — Oh yes, she's mine... But how is it possible Sams?

— Last time we were together before I left to Seattle...

— Really? - he was so confused.

— She was born on December 23rd last year Haz... she's almost 4 months old, do the count. - he was so quiet, looking at her, rocking her between his strong arms. — I'm sorry Haz, for no telling you. I was so afraid that you would not believe me, I tried calling you several times but you were filming your movie, and then... I gave up.

— She has my last name? Or is Evans?

— She's Styles... She laughs so loud... it's a mini you Haz... I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Harry - I cried —  Please say something...

— I want you, both of you back in my life... That's all I'm breathing for right now Sams. I love you, you made me the happiest man on earth. You need to tell me everything, how this beautiful angel is with us since you have to take a treatment. How you deal with it... but you will tell me at home love, my princess will sleep on her crib at home with her dad...

— Crib? What are you talking about?

— When you got pregnant for a second time, I prepared a room for our baby when I bought the house. But then you lost it, so I sealed the room, you never realize that behind our weeding photo was the room of our unborn baby. When you left, I opened it again, clean everything... and since then I'm the only one cleaning that little space.

— Oh Haz... I love you, with all my heart. But we cannot leave the hotel room.

— Why? - he was nervous and confused.

— Ems is with me here, so we need to wait for her so she can go with us...

— Where's she now?

— With Zayn...

— Zayn? Did he know?

— Today, he knew today when we landed, since Ems called him to pick us up - the smile on his face cannot be erased. The way he was holding Bianca on his arms, how he was admiring her was unbelievable.

— Cannot believe it, this little angel is mine.. - He smiles at her, touching her cheeks, hands, feet... He moved her between his hands while putting her on his chest and laying down on the bed. 

Bianca started to cry, I wanted to take her in my arms, but the way Harry started to caress her back and started to sing to her, was amazing to see. 

— Don't cry love, daddy is here... Shhhh... If we could only have this life for one more day - Harry started to sing my song to her...

If we could only turn back time

You know I'll be your life, your voice Your reason to be my love, my heart, Is breathing for this moment, in time I'll find the words to say before you leave me today

Bianca stopped crying and fall asleep on his chest.

— She falls asleep?

— Y... yes - I stutter since I had a knot in my throat.

— What's wrong love?

— We have so much to talk about... we have to...

— Babe... - he interrupts me — We have a life together to talk about it, I meant it when I said that I want to have you both with me, like now... it's my daughter and I'm not going to do any test, because I know you and you would not lie to me in this way. And look at her, she even snores like me... - he laughed — I love you, I never stopped, I want you back in my life, I want to raise my baby girl by your side, I missed all your pregnancy, I was not there to hold your hand while you were giving birth. I do not wanna miss anything else related to you or my daughter Sams - I was crying.

— I love you Harry... with all my heart - I have him back.

**********

Sam was sleeping when Emma appeared through the door.

— Harry! - she said smiling and running to hug me — I'm glad you are here.

— Me too... thank you, for helping me with her, she told me that you told her all what we talked when she was away... before we split, and after.

— She's so stubborn. She spent her pregnancy time on Switzerland, I convinced her to call you, but you were not around, you were kinda busy.

— Yes, the filming, but now we are together, and I'm not going to separate from them anymore.

— Did you see her? Bianca?

— Yes, a few hours ago she was sleeping on my chest, now is in bed with Sams, both are sleeping.

— I have a surprise for you...

— Another one? Hey... I'm young but my heart wouldn't resist any other surprise.

— Are you sure? - I heard that voice, that particular voice I haven't heard years ago. My friend... my brother.

I have my family back, my dearest friend, and this feeling cannot compares to anything... My life is now complete.