Dean smiled beautifully, tears falling. But not for the same reason everyone else was. Emerald eyes watched as his brother and someone special kissed. It made his stomach curl, his throat tighter then how the someone special could make his jeans. He played his role as his brothers best man, each step he took was slowed by an imaginary large chain and ball. Everyone cheered for the happy couple. The happy couple laughed. Dean couldn't help the deep feeling in the pit of his stomach. When everyone seated for the dinner, people tapped their glasses with forks. The sounds rang out around and the word "speech" was chanted. God, how Dean wanted them to stop. He knew if they didn't, he would have to stand up. No mom, no dad. Even though Bobby was their step-father, the responsibility fell on the next of kin: Dean.

Breathing in a shaky breath, Dean stood up. Glass in hand, almost empty, and a shit eating grin stretched across his face.

"Alright! Alright!" Dean called out calmly. The audience fell hush, all eyes on him, each face wore a respectful smile. "Tonight, my little brother and my . . . best friend finally tied the knot."

Dean tried so hard not to burst in tears, lost in memories. So he let them spill out his mouth. "I remember the first time the two met. Sammy got dumped hard by Ruby, a bitch that should go to hell. Now, Sam was getting over the loss of his first girlfriend, Jess, who had to move far away," Dean said, coating each word with sugar, hiding his thoughts.

What would've happened if Jess didn't leave, or Ruby loved Sam? Would he be his?

"So, I offered to take him to a good old party. Get him hooked up to some chick. But of course, Sam took a whole new route."

Nope. He didn't pick up a chick. He picked up a guy. The guy, his guy.

"But he was too damn shy," he chuckled, "to talk to the guy. So, I go over and drag the lucky man to Sammy. Blushing like a virgin." He paused listening to sweet chuckles, he paused to watch his brother burry his face in his hands. And his heart practically dropped when the guy kissed Sam's hair. Dean licked his lips, suddenly feeling dry. "I introduce them and left. Sam's face was priceless, he looked like I threw him into the lion's pit"

How wrong that was. He threw his brother up to heaven, and the beautiful angel caught him. While he was stuck down in hell.

"Can't tell you how much I caught them doing it, never through their eight years have they learned to lock a door."

And how much it hurt, wanting to be in Sam's place.

The audience laughed. Amused at his misfortunes. God, if they only knew what the hell was screaming in his head. They might cry, get angry, or not care. It didn't matter. Dean had to suck it up. Today was his baby brothers day. So, just shove those damn feelings down.

"But," Dean needed to end this soon, if he didn't then he would be a wreck, "I can't tell you how happy I was when . . . . Gabe got down on one knee and said 'I think this has been delayed long enough'."

Happy? Ha! Dean felt like he died. It was Gabriel's birthday. Everyone was happy, even Dean. Because, no matter how stupid or insane it sounded, he decided to hint Gabriel on his feelings about him. Imagine his face when his dream guy dropped on one knee with a ring in a tiny box. That's when Dean knew, he fucked up. He waited too long. His heart was bleeding, crying, dying. Dean was surprised by how quiet the room was no one heard it.

And he signed his death wish when he cheered: "Pull the bastard up and kiss him, we all know you're gonna say yes."

"So," Dean raised his glass high up in the air, the audience and couple copied, "here's to the bride and groom."

Cheeky till the end. However soon the end is.

No one noticed him slip away, they were too busy with cake and laughing.

Dean couldn't help but run. Running through the stupid place until he found himself outside. Shaking, Dean debated whether to leave early or not. He would look like the douche who couldn't make it through his brother's wedding, not the heart broken man that can't stand how the whole wedding seemed to taunt him.

Wedding. Yep, Dean was sure he hated the word now.

Everything that happened the past few years angered him. The calls to each other and video chats, being the third wheel, telling them to have fun when they went out. Walking in on them making out, over hearing "I love you"'s whispered to each other. It all chilled Dean to the bone.

And in the end, he told a damn lie at the speech. He met Gabriel first.

It was a good old fashioned party. Booze flying about, deafening music vibrated the floor, and enough chicks and dudes for a hungry nest of horny nymphs. Sam was unsure of it, having never attend a college party, but with enough encouragement from his big bro Sam was talking to a group of girls that were totally into him. Dean remembers needing to get a drink, god how he wished he didn't. How he wished he didn't go to the quieter floor of the party. How he wished his hand didn't touch his. It was like electricity. Quick, shocking, breath taking. And later on painful. Dean still felt that. The tiny spark when they touched, even the briefest of skin contact; hell, sometimes not even skin. Looking him in the eyes sent Dean's heart pumping and it took Dean everything to stop a blush coat his freckles.

They were going for the same beer, hands collided and that's was when Dean was screwed. He looked up meeting honey eyes. He loved - loves those eyes.

He laughed and offered the beer to Dean, who took it nervously. Gabriel took another beer and they talked. Everything in agreement, from stupid jokes to porn. Dean had never met a guy talk so casually about his porn, let alone in public. They had so much in common. Gabriel seemed to like were it was going. Dean sure as hell did. He wanted to ask for his number, but Gabriel had to go to the bathroom. That's when everything fell.

He was waiting for his Gabriel to return, with his smile and sugar lips. But, not even a few seconds later, his dear brother came with the most flustered face and loop sided smile. Dean thought he meet a girl that was ready to whisk him away and he needed a condom. You couldn't imagine the flat line in Dean's head when Sam asked about the guy who left.

That's when things added up in Dean's head.

Dean couldn't help crying. How he gave up Gabriel so easily. He was disgusted with himself that he didn't even put up a banter. But how could he? Sam looked struck. His eyes fill of interest and excitement, his body was practically radiating, and he was positively glowing. Last time he looked like that was with Jess.

His body shook in confusion. Why did he have to give everything to Sam? There was plenty of fish in the ocean. Maybe . . . it wouldn't hurt if the two talked. Sam and Gabriel don't seem to be a fit couple, right?

Dean took a risk that night. He pulled a sincere smile before grabbing Sam's hand and pulled him through the crowd. Soon enough they bumped into Gabriel. Smiling even though he was dying, Dean exchanged names and said "have fun you two". It eat him up at night. Turns out they got along great.

Gabriel was smitten with Sam. Vice versa.

If you asked Dean how he felt when Gabriel asked him if it was okay to take his brother that night, you would get an empty stare. Because what Dean was feeling, it was what they called a multiple reaction. Anger, was the first. Then heartbreak. And finally a sad acceptance. Dean laughed and said go easy.

Every birthday candle, every christmas wish, every shooting star. Dean hoped with all his heart in way that kids were told not spend money in a candy store. Don't spend all of it. But he was too stupid, too stupid and wished for something that he couldn't have. Wished for something that was already taken.

But in the deep pain and self pity, Dean smiled. "At least Sammy's got him."