Summary: Every year, the anniversary of that horrible day came around. And every year, Itachi dealt with it in his own, emotionless way. This time, he couldn't. He'd seen and heard so much about Sasuke, it reminded him what it felt like to feel again.

Age: Itachi is age 21. This is a few months away from when he died. 😭

Category: Itachi-centric. ItaIzu???

Note: I'm sorry... It's just my grandpa just died and I thought it would be appropriate to use the man who lost everything for this story. It kinda matches the crippling depression I'm feeling right now. I hope you guys enjoy it. The pic above matches everything about this chapter...

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Itachi sighed deeply, letting the air rush through his lungs. He liked breathing. It took away the pain for a few seconds. Even though the pain returned soon after he finished, he enjoyed it while it lasted. If there was one thing a dying person knew, it was that it was necessary to live.

Itachi, however, didn't have anything to live for but his brother, who hated him. Not that he could blame Sasuke, he definitely had reason to hate him.

I wish there had been another way.

Every day away from Sasuke was agony. Just hearing about his little brother's accomplishments in the world of evil made him sick. He wanted to run to Sasuke, tell him that what he was doing was wrong.

But how could he talk? He was a traitor to his village, killed his parents and clan in front of his little brother.

But said little brother had been dabbling with Orochimaru. Itachi knew where that would end up. Someday soon, Orochimaru would try to take his body. It was up to Sasuke to not have his body possessed by the creepy snake demon. He'd tried with Itachi, but it didn't work, so Orochimaru went for his naïve little brother.

As much as it made Itachi angry and worried, it was Sasuke's choice. It had been his choice to go to Orochimaru, and it was his choice whether or not he would let Orochimaru take his body.

I wish I could go to Sasuke... see him as a brother one more time.

Ah, just seeing Sasuke reminded him of his mother. The black hair and eyes, and face shape... it was all Mikoto. The same went for him. He almost couldn't bear to look in mirrors anymore-- he bore too much of a resemblance to his dead mother.

There had been a time when Itachi felt happiness, around age six or seven, after Mikoto put baby Sasuke to bed. Tired as she was, she always stopped in to see her eldest son.

When she did, Itachi would be in bed already. Mikoto would curl up next to him, playing with his hair. Itachi always knew she was dead tired, taking care of his little brother and waiting on his father hand and foot.

Sometimes she would fall asleep next to him, with the child in her arms. Those were some of the most comforting days Itachi had ever felt.

Even when Itachi grew older, and became bigger, she came to snuggle him at night. He enjoyed it. He let her ask questions about his life, and listened to her as she talked about hers.

Actually, at around age twelve, she began asking him about girls. Whether or not she would be a grandmother soon. He always reprimanded her, saying that he was way too young to be thinking about that, but he was thinking about it.

He was the heir to the clan, when his father died or retired, he would be in charge. He would need a wife like Mikoto, one that he could spend the rest of his days with.

He'd met Izumi in the Academy. She was one of the few girls that Itachi respected and could tolerate. She was also an Uchiha.

That day, when she'd discovered that Itachi loved dango, they made it a secret habit to meet up at the same dango shop every Saturday. They didn't even realize they were doing it, at first. They showed up at the same time, every week, at the same shop, and just sat together, eating. Sometimes it was in silence, sometimes they would talk about random things.

Itachi always looked forward to that day of the week. He always made sure to finish his ANBU missions early so he would be on time. Even if it meant postponing reporting to the Hokage. Hiruzen understood. Itachi didn't have many friends. He didn't want many, to he honest. All he needed were Shisui and Izumi, and they kept him busy enough.

So when Mikoto continuously asked him where he went on Saturdays, he replied with, "meeting up with some friends" because he really was. Well, a friend. Sometimes Shisui came, but not all the time.

Itachi payed as many times as he could, but Izumi was every bit as stubborn as his mother. It always ended up being a fight.

I wish that night wouldn't have happened.

Itachi closed his eyes, and imagined how his life would be if that hadn't happened.

He'd probably be dating and/or married to Izumi. Mother would be getting on Sasuke to start dating that pink haired girl Sasuke had always talked about. What was her name...? Sakura.

Naruto-kun would probably be a part of the family. Mikoto had always felt for the child, as his mother was her best friend. She would've eventually taken him in, whether or not Fugaku liked it.

Itachi sighed, opening his eyes. Any chance of that happening is gone. You need to steel yourself before the final fight with Sasuke.

Itachi was both happy and sad about the upcoming fight. Of course, neither emotion was shown to his partner, Kisame, but under the mask Itachi kept on, he was concerned.

He was depressed about it because it was his little brother that would eventually end his life. The poor child would eventually find the truth. When he did, Sasuke wouldn't take it well.

He was also ecstatic, because finally he would be rid of this relentless guilt and pain that followed him around everywhere. His eyes, his entire body was ready for the end. He had lived a short life, and it was anything but sweet. And he was more than ready for it all to end. The stupid mask he always kept on would finally drop.

That mask protected him from showing his feelings in public, locking it all inside him. The inside of Itachi's mind was a crazy mess, all of the guilt and anger at himself nearly drove the man mad.

And the loneliness was crushing. Sure, the Akatsuki were around. They were a bunch of killers and psychopaths, so clearly they weren't the best company.

So loneliness also took it's toll, making Itachi so depressed, he couldn't eat. He only ate when it was necessary-- as in he would die if he didn't. Sadness was also a major factor in his life. Sadness and loneliness drove him to lock himself in his room, and sit there, waiting for that day-- the day Sasuke would finally come.

On that day, when it was finally over, Itachi would drop to his knees and cry. It would be done. No more inner hurt. Battles fought in his mind. Nothing.

Just... silence.

So that day, when Sasuke finally came for him, Itachi sat in that chair, and he closed his eyes.

He mourned the fallen. His father, his mother, Izumi, Shisui, the rest of the clan. He mourned for his younger brother, who grew up alone.

When he opened them again, he was ready. He was ready for Sasuke. Whatever his little brother threw at him, he would take because he deserved them.

Itachi sighed again, settling into the throne.

He imagined it was his father sitting here instead, waiting for Sasuke. Or his mother. Or Shisui. Or even Izumi.

It didn't work. It was only him.

Only Itachi had the nerve, the emotionlessness. Only Itachi could do the job. Only Itachi could slaughter that many people-- people he had seen and known personally-- without breaking down mentally.

Only Itachi.

And he was near a mental breakdown himself.

Suddenly an overwhelming chakra came into the building.

It's time.

After the worst of the fight finished, Itachi was certain that it was almost time for him to leave.

There was so much he wished to say to Sasuke. So much that he wanted to apologize for, so much that he wanted to tell him. He only had a few minutes left, at best. So Itachi slowly walked to his brother, waiting for the Susano'o to fade. He'd gotten rid of Sasuke's sword, and he was almost out of chakra, so it was safe to approach the teenager.

He knew every step and every move he made would hurt him. Every breath he took cut his lungs. But he had to get to Sasuke--- to communicate at least a little of his love to the boy.

No... not boy anymore. He'd grown up nicely. Mother would be proud.

His fingers outstretched, and were inches away from Sasuke's forehead, where he always used to poke him. Itachi's little brother was shaking in fear. Itachi could feel the questions coming off him in droves. Is he going to kill me?? Why is he coming so close?

None of his questions would be answered. But Itachi only wanted to show Sasuke how he really felt toward him. That all the lies he'd built were crumbling, leaving only the pure love of a brother.

"I'm sorry, Sasuke. There won't be a next time."

Sasuke could only feel his hatred, but even that faded, just a bit, as Itachi poked him on the forehead.

Itachi sighed, a huge weight lifted off his shoulders, and fell forward. His head bashed the wall behind Sasuke, and he sunk to the floor.

The rain soaked Itachi, but all Itachi could feel was happiness, and depression.

It's done.

All the life left his eyes, but as Itachi's soul left his body, he looked back down.

Sasuke had passed out next to his dead brother, the drainage of chakra taking a toll on his body. Itachi, himself, looked drained of life.

I wish things hadn't ended this way.

Then after, when Itachi was reanimated, after the fight with Kabuto, Itachi felt it again-- the crushing depression.

Just seeing Sasuke stirred up memories of when he was alive, and even though he'd already made up with most of his family, he hadn't completely been forgiven by Sasuke.

The boy was mad that he was left alone. If Itachi had just stayed with his brother, maybe his life wouldn't have been so lonely and helpless.

So when it was almost time, Itachi showed Sasuke the truth. About everything.

"I have told you the truth. I won't have to, ever again."

And after that, Itachi finally got to say what he wanted to.

"You don't ever have to forgive me. And no matter what you do from here on out, know this. I will love you always."

He left the reanimation with a smile.

Sasuke watched, a shocked expression  frozen on his face.

I wish I'd spent more time with you.

I wish I'd told you I loved you more often, little brother.

I wish...

I wish that I could've been there to see you grow up.