[funny, fluff, Uchiha, camping AU]

"How about..." Obito tapped his chin, "Our entire family is murdered by... Wait for it... Sasuke's brother."

Sakura stared at the Uchiha seated next to her, "Itachi! You savage!"

Itachi shut his eyes and nodded, "Hey, it's bound to happen."

"Mm..." Sasuke shook his head, "I can't see it."

"And before you know it," Obito continued, "Itachi over here is working for a secret agency that's bent on destroying the world."

"That doesn't even sound logical..."

"Does everything need to be logical to you, Madara?"

Madara shrugged, "Of course. If you're going to destroy the world, you're going to destroy yourself along with it."

"That's coming from someone who knows what he's doing, right?" Obito cackled, "you wanna destroy the world yourself, Madara?"

"Maybe some other day." Madara leaned back on his sleeping bag, "why can't you boys act more mature? There's a lady in our presence."

"It's fine." Sakura chuckled, "I'm really enjoying myself."

"That's good." Itachi sighed, "wouldn't want any awkward family reunions when we get married, eh Sakura?"

"Yeah, you're right." Sakura grinned.

"What do you think, Sasuke? Will you be my best man at our wedding?"

"Hn." Sasuke shut his eyes, "are you dense? You just started yesterday."

"Are you okay, Sasuke?" Itachi gave his brother a weird look, "did I... Say something wrong?"

"Yes, you did."

That's right. I couldn't feel more out of place in this tent... Sakura looked around the small circle. Itachi Uchiha. He's my boyfriend as of... Yesterday, actually. He invited me on this camping trip with his brother and cousins. Madara Uchiha, which is his... I'm not even sure how he's related to them... He seems kinda old... Then Obito Uchiha, probably my favorite out of all of them. He's so funny and enjoyable to be around. And last but definitely not least, my classmate, Sasuke Uchiha. His little brother. Also, my childhood crush. I'm 19 now, and he's only 18, but... I've told myself I don't love him anymore, I've moved on with Itachi. But... Itachi seems to... Avoid me. Is a real relationship nothing like I imagined? And why does he keep leaving me with Sasuke? Does he know that if he does, it might kill me off some day?

"Hey, maybe Sasuke should have a turn." Obito reached his hand into the bag that held different objects for the game, "your sentence-story must contain..." He pulled out two slips of paper, "ooh, your girlfriend and your uncle."

"Whoa, whoa." Madara sat up, "are we going to go all pedophile, here?"

"Ha, that's what make them the best!" Obito laughed, "fine, fine. A new one. Your girlfriend and... your brother. Wait, I've already drawn this slip for the other one..."

"Sasuke doesn't have a girlfriend." Sakura cleared her throat.

"His imaginary girlfriend." Itachi chuckled as he glanced over at Sakura, "I've heard him talking in his sleep. I think her name is Sara... Or maybe Sakura. It was very muffled."

"Shut up." Sasuke rolled his eyes, "my brother stole my girlfriend. Done."

The tent went dead silent as they all just stared from Sasuke, to Itachi, to Sakura, then back to Sasuke.

"Okay!" Obito broke the mold, "we should try another game!"

"How about the sleeping game?" Madara turned over onto his side, facing away from everyone else.

"Hey! Guys!"

Itachi turned to the tent flap and smiled, "ah! Shisui, you  made it! Oi, Sasuke, move over, you're blocking the entrance."

"Hn."

Sasuke obeyed, scooting closer to Sakura and letting Shisui sit between him and his brother.

"Sakura, this is Shisui Uchiha, a good friend of mine." Itachi introduced.

"Sakura.... "

"Haruno."

"Ah, yeah. Nice to meet you." Shisui sent her a warm smile.

"You too." Sakura grinned.

"So what's going on?"

"How about..." Obito smirked, "truth or dare."

"That's hardly fair." Itachi responded, "we're all guys here and Sakura's the only girl."

"That makes it more fun!" Obito giggled evilly.

"He's all about the fun..." Sasuke muttered softly, but loud enough for Sakura to hear, making her laugh. Itachi smirked at the reaction.

Good... Itachi silently looked from Sasuke to Sakura. This might actually work... Obito and I planned this out well. We'll leave this campsite, and Sakura will be with Sasuke. We're geniuses.

"Okay. Let's go around." Obito scanned the group until his eyes landed on Sakura, "okay, ladies first. Truth or dare?"

"Mm..." Sakura pursed her lips and hugged her knees to her chest, "truth."

"Aw." Obito groaned, "okay, if you could get laid by any guy in this tent that isn't Itachi, who would it be?"

"Obito." Sasuke glared at his cousin, "we're not going to make her answer that--"

"It's me, guys." Madara called over. He hadn't moved from his sleeping position away from the group.

"Ah..." Sakura scratched the back of her head, "probably... That's hard..."

"We're all Uchiha here, after all." Shisui chuckled.

"N-no, not that." Sakura looked away. She caught a glimpse of Sasuke's face. He didn't seem to care what was going on around him, "ah, O-Obito, probably..."

"Really?!" Obito beamed, "well, okay then."

"Obito, get out of here." Itachi rolled his eyes.

"Itachi." Sasuke called, "truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Heh." Sasuke smirked evilly, "If you could get laid by anyone in this tent except for Sakura, who would it be?"

"Whoa." Madara started choking on nothing, "let's not go there, children."

"We're all men here, Sasuke." Itachi iterated, but Obito was hunched over, holding his sides, laughing.

"Choose me, Itachi-kun..." Obito hooted.

"Oh dear..." Sakura laughed.

"Hn." Sasuke chuckled to himself, clearly pleased with himself.

"Okay, okay." Itachi rolled his eyes, "Sasuke, truth or dare."

"Hm..." Sasuke glanced around the tent, "dare."

"Ooh, rebel." Obito snickered.

"Okay, Sasuke, I dare you to jump into the lake naked." Itachi grinned.

"That's it?"

"That's it."

"That's easy." Sasuke stood up and started opening the tent flap.

"Ah! Wait!" Itachi stopped him, "we all have to watch you."

"Yeah. No problem." Sasuke shrugged nonchalantly, "we're all men here--" Then he froze. He met Sakura's gaze, and she just covered her mouth as a blush painted her cheeks. Crap, I totally forgot...

"No, we're not all men here." Obito laughed.

"I'm staying in here..." Madara muttered.

"Actually..." Itachi tapped his chin, "I really don't think we all need to see Sasuke's flab. Maybe Sakura should just go out. Now that's a dare for both of them."

"What?!" Sakura stared at him, "I-Itachi, don't do this..."

"Well." Itachi shrugged, "sorry, Sakura, but it's all part of the dare."

"No. I'm not doing that." Sasuke sat back down.

"At least..." Obito tapped his chin, turned to Itachi, winked, then turned back to Sasuke, "I got a better one for you. You saw the boat shed out there? Go in there with Sakura and stay there for a good minute and forty-seven seconds."

"Because the forty-seven seconds is really necessary." Shisui chuckled.

"What?!" Sasuke glared at Obito, "that is not happening."

"Go on, Sasuke." Itachi smirked, "to tell you the truth, each of us here, including Madara, have done this in a truth or dare game before."

"....Seriously?"

"Yeah." Itachi nodded, "if you're a true Uchiha, you'll do it."

Obito nodded with approval, "So true."

"Okay, I think Obito looks a little too excited over here." Sasuke muttered.

"Just go!" Obito got up, grabbed Sasuke's wrist, threw him out of the tent, then quickly followed close behind with Sakura in tow.

"O-Obito..." Sasuke started as his cousin just grabbed his wrist and dragged the two down to the boat shed next to the lake, "but Itachi--"

"Greatly supports this." Obito cut him off as he opened the door and pushed the two inside, "I'll be out here counting!"

The door shut and latched shut just before Sasuke could open it.

"Damn..." Sasuke gritted his teeth, "Obito and Itachi, they're up to something..."

"Eh-heh..." Sakura chuckled a little and rubbed her elbow.

"Sorry, Sakura." Sasuke sat down on a crate he had to feel out for, "I'm sure you weren't expecting this on a camping trip with your boyfriend."

"Ah, it's okay. Itachi and I aren't really... That close yet..." Sakura just stood. She couldn't see anything, "is there a light switch in here somewhere?"

"No." Sasuke looked around, "there's not even a window, it's so friggin' dark in here."

Dark... Sakura repeated the word in her head. She gasped when she saw an image in her head. An image of a man with a knife, "S-Sasuke!"

"Hm?" He stood up and looked around, "Sakura? Are you okay?"

"Th-that man..." Sakura felt herself trembling. She took a few steps back and tripped over a pile of fish nets, "Sasuke, I need to get out of here!"

"Sakura!"

She squeezed her eyes shut, climbed up from the floor, and started walking in the direction she remembered the door being, "I... Can't..." She squealed when she ran into a body. She thought it was the man she saw in her hallucinations, but when she felt the arms wrap around her, she felt calmer.

"Found you." Sakura could hear the smirk in Sasuke's voice.

"S-Sasuke..."

"You're trembling. What happened? Did you see something?"

Sakura didn't say anything. She just stared into his chest as tears spilled from her eyes, "I-I'm sorry... I didn't mean to..."

"It's okay. I'm here, nothing's going to happen to you." Sasuke rubbed her head, "I'll kill Itachi for doing this to you..."

"N-no, don't do that."

"Sakura." Sasuke pulled away and felt her face, "please just tell me you're okay."

"I'm fine." Sakura breathed, "I just... Saw something I've been trying to forget."

"Oh." Sasuke muttered, "just know..." He pursed his lips and looked away, "I know you're my brother's girlfriend, but I don't want anything to happen to you. You're still precious to me."

Sakura's eyes went wide at the sudden gesture. She shut her eyes and hugged him, "thank you, Sasuke."

This darkness.... Sasuke glanced around, "what were they thinking..."

"Heh." Sakura smiled, "we should satisfy them a little."

"What? Sa--" Her lips suddenly met his before he pulled away just a little and lowered his voice, "S-Sakura, I can't do this... Itachi's..."

"I never loved Itachi, Sasuke." Sakura whispered, "I mean, I did, but I love you more... I never thought I did, but I just can't deny it anymore... This whole ruse... He kept avoiding me, and when I tried to kiss him, he pushed me away. But now I know... He somehow knew about you and me, and--"

"You talk too much." Sasuke smirked as he leaned down and kissed her again.

About ten seconds later, Obito unlatched the door and started knocking, "hey, kiddies! Time's up! Unless you wanna stay in there the rest of the night!" When no one replied, he knocked again, "guys? You still alive in there?" He finally just opened the door, but stopped when he saw the two of them standing in the back of the shed, kissing, "okay, uh, the door's open, so, uh, come out when you're, uh... Done." He awkwardly stepped out and ran back to the tent, yelling and screaming like an obsessed fangirl, "guys! Guys! It worked! They're still making out in there!"

Sasuke smirked. Damn you, Obito. Itachi. And... Thanks.

••••

Written by xX_Fang_Xx for CandyIsSasuSakuTrash