[modern AU, funny]

***Warning. Explicit implications and language-ish... Just... Out-of-the-ordinary not your usual OneShot. This isn't a lemon, per se, but... Just proceed with caution.***

"Are you sure about this? Even I'm feeling a little tense."

"Don't worry, I swear they'll love you."

"I wouldn't be too sure..."

"Even if they don't, I'll make it up to you tonight."

"Shut up..."

Sasuke and Sakura Uchiha made their way up the steps to the hotel where their New Year party was planned. The night before played back through her mind as her stomach churned at the suspense.

"Mom, Dad, Sasuke and I are staying home for the holidays."

"What?" Kizashi looked at her and her husband and laughed, "are you sure?! You've spent every holiday here with us! Don't you want to go visit Sasuke's family?"

"Ah..." Sasuke cleared his throat, "trust me, Sir... If you care about Sakura's innocence, you'll keep her away from anyone with the Uchiha name..."

Mebuki crossed her arms and chuckled, "if that were the case, it wouldn't matter since she's married to someone with that very name."

Sasuke groaned and rolled his eyes, "trust me..."

"Besides..." Sakura smiled sheepishly, "we just love you guys so much and don't want you to be lonely for the holidays!"

"Sakura." Kizashi stood up from the dining table and set his hands on her shoulders, "don't worry about us. You two need to go spend time with the Uchiha side of the family."

"Ah..." Sasuke looked at Sakura, "I don't know..."

"How did I agree to come, again?"

"I don't know." Sasuke chuckled weakly as he led Sakura through the large hotel lobby.

"This place looks expensive." Sakura looked around then down at her long, red, floor-length dress, "not to mention I'm dressed for the red carpet..."

"You look flawless, by the way." Sasuke smiled as he set his hand on the small of her back.

"You're just trying to get me to not weasel my way out of this." She rolled her eyes, "can your family afford a lavish party like this?"

"Of course. After all, the Uchiha family is a well-known hospital supply manufacturer and manager..."

"Yeah, and the Haruno family is a well-known Wal-Mart manager. No need to go rubbing your family name in my face."

Sasuke laughed, "you do realize my family name is now your family name, right? Oh... We're here."

They stepped into the room that was exclusively reserved for their family for the New Year.

Sakura quickly compared this particular New Year's party to a usual one held at her parents' house. When she and Sasuke celebrated with her parents, they only invited friends over, more specifically Naruto, Ino, Sai, Shikamaru, only to list a few, watched the ball drop, and spent the rest of the night just the two of them. This New Year party was exactly how Sasuke had described it.

"Hey, Darling, do you want to spend Christmas with your family this year?"

"Ah..." Sasuke looked at her, "are you sure about that?"

"Huh?" Sakura blinked a few times, "of course. Why wouldn't I be? Don't you want to see your family?"

"No, I do, it's just... I'm more concerned about you."

Sakura laughed, "I love you, Sasuke, but you don't have to worry about me all the time. I understand we've been married for two years now, and last year we were with my parents. This year, let's go celebrate with yours!"

"Sakura, its because I love you that I don't want to go."

"This is what you meant?"

"Y-yes..."

In the large room, decorated for the event, was what seemed like the entire Uchiha clan, all of whom had black hair and looked as if they were going to the Grammy's.

"Not only do they look way too formal... They look like they can--"

"Head the Yakuza, yeah. I get that a lot." Sasuke pulled Sakura closer to him and lowered his voice, "welcome to a normal Uchiha family reunion..."

"Look who it is!"

Sakura watched as a man walked up to Sasuke all smiles with an air to him that ironically reminded her of one of her friends.

"Ah, Sakura, this is my cousin, Obito."

"Ooh, Sakura. That's a lovely name for a lovely girl." Obito grinned, "you're clearly not an Uchiha."

"Ah..." Sakura chuckled sheepishly, "n-no..."

"She is." Sasuke felt a vein pop in his forehead, "now I'd appreciate it if you didn't say anything out of the ordinary tonight, okay Obito?"

"Why? Trying to impress your girlfriend?"

"What the hell, did you not understand when I said... Never mind." Sasuke cursed under his breath as he grabbed Sakura's hand, squeezed it tight, and pulled her to another area of the room that appeared less occupied.

"He reminds me of Naruto..." Sakura laughed.

"Yeah... To think he's an Uchiha." Sasuke groaned and looked around.

"Sasuke! Surprised to see you here."

This time, Sakura recognized one of the two faces that approached them, and seeing a familiar face in this sea of foreigners made her happier than she thought she could ever be at a party, "Itachi! It's been a while, how've you been?"

"Good. I'm glad to see you, Sakura." Itachi smiled and have his sister-in-law a hug, "I guess I'm happy to see you too, Sasuke."

"Whatever."

Itachi turned to the man standing next to him, "this is my little brother's wife, Sakura Haruno. Sakura, this is a close friend of mine, Shisui."

"Pleasure to meet you, Sakura." Shisui bowed in respect, "you look really nice. I'm glad you and Sasuke knew what to wear, given the fact you two haven't been to one of these Uchiha reunions in years."

"Or ever..." Sasuke cleared his throat, "we weren't planning on coming, but Sakura's parents kicked us out."

"Good thing they did." Itachi laughed, "listen, we're going to get out of here in a little bit to find a place we can just... Talk."

"Who's 'we'?"

"Obito, his plus one, Shisui, and... A friend of mine."

Sasuke picked up on the tone of his voice, "Itachi Uchiha has a girlfriend?"

"Not yet." He chuckled, "speaking of which, we should get going. Mom and Dad probably want to see you guys."

Sure enough, a woman about Sakura's height ran up to the pair and hugged them both.

"I'm so glad you both could come this year!" Mikoto Uchiha smiled.

"It's good to see you, Mikoto!" Sakura laughed as she hugged her back, "how's the company been?"

"Oh, we've been doing just fine. Nothing worse, nothing better either." She chuckled sheepishly and turned to her husband, "Itachi's taking over soon."

Fugaku Uchiha nodded, "That's right."

"Whatever, no need going about and rubbing it in my face..." Sasuke muttered, "I'm learning at my own pace."

"Enough wasting time." Itachi rolled his eyes, "Mom, Dad, we're taking these two out for a bit, if you don't mind."

"Ah..." Sasuke interjected, "y-yes, we do mind..."

"Oh, no, not at all!" Mikoto chuckled, "we can catch up later."

"O-okay." Sakura called as Itachi grabbed her wrist and dragged her and Sasuke away from the crowded room and to a small room, "I-Itachi, what are we doing here?"

"Only a little Uchiha tradition we do every year." Itachi smirked, as did the four other pairs of eyes watched Sasuke and Sakura, "take a seat. You know Obito and Shisui. Obito's girl is Rin Nohara and the girl next to her is Izumi Uchiha."

Sakura looked hesitantly at Sasuke, "do you know what this is about?"

He paled, "I think I might know..."

That look can't be good...

"Welcome, Sakura." Shisui smiled, "I don't think you've ever played with us before..."

"She hasn't." Itachi grinned.

"What is this?!"

"This, my friend..." Obito stood up and threw his arms open, "is Truth or Dare!"

Sakura laughed, "what's so scary about a game of Truth or Dare, Sasuke? I love this game. Remember when we always played this with Naruto?"

"Yeah, but..." Sasuke swallowed hard, "you've never played with the Uchiha family before..."

"You're lucky Madara isn't here. He goes all the way." Obito chuckled devilishly.

"Ah..." Sakura hesitantly sat down on the floor by the couch where Itachi and Izumi say.

"So." Shisui pulled out an empty, glass wine bottle, "let's see who's going first."

The bottle spun on its side until the tip landed on Itachi.

"Itachi, Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

Rin looked at him and scoffed, "you're not very fun..."

"Why thank you."

"Okay..." Obito stroked his chin and grinned thoughtfully before pointing at the victim, "what was the longest you and Izumi had sex? Give us every detail. Every detail."

Sakura's blood froze. Just as the words came from Obito's mouth, she felt Sasuke tense up next to her. She glanced over at him and he sent her a quick glance that said "I'm terribly sorry" or "Please kill me now".

"Oof..." Izumi grabbed a pillow and dropped her face into it, "Obito you son of a..."

"Hm..." Itachi looked at the ceiling thoughtfully, "it lasted about ten to fifteen minutes, right? We did--"

Sakura slowly slumped further onto the floor in uncomfortableness as the details came at full force. Every single one. It was about five minutes of raw description before they spun the bottle again and the tip landed on Sasuke.

"Hm..." Itachi grinned, "Sasuke, truth or dare."

"What if I don't want to?"

Obito chimed in, "if a girl refuses a truth or dare, she removes one article of clothing. If a boy refuses a truth or dare, he removes three articles of clothing."

"Hn..." Sasuke crossed his arms, "whatever... Truth."

"Perfect." Obito looked at Shisui.

"I got one." He nodded, "what position do you and Sakura like best?"

"Ah..." Sasuke looked at a very red Sakura seated next to him, "position, like CEO, assistant, manager..."

Itachi laughed, "ah, no..."

Obito wiggled his eyebrows, "sex position."

"Why is this even a thing?!" Sasuke blushed, "I-I don't know!"

Rin peered at the frazzled Uchiha and tilted her head, "hm..."

"So, Sakura. Wanna help him?" Shisui chuckled, "if he can't answer, he has to lose three articles of clothing. Unless, of course, you wanna see him naked."

"Ah..." Sakura covered her face, "I-I don't really know either..."

"Whatever." Sasuke started undoing his tie and removing his shoes.

"Aw, little Sasuke is giving up already?" Obito giggled, "darn shame."

Rin rose her hand, "can I go next?"

Obito grinned, "yeah, go ahead!"

She took the bottle and spun it once again until, to Sakura's horror, it landed on the pinkette in the room.

"Sakura, truth or dare?"

"Mmf..." Sakura rubbed her forehead, "truth, I guess."

Rin nodded and looked carefully at her and Sasuke, "are you a virgin?"

Silence.

"Why would they be? I mean." Obito chuckled, "I mean, they've been married for over two years already."

Sakura looked at Sasuke and sought for guidance on what to do, "S-Sasuke..."

The couple looked at each other for a few seconds as if their eyes told each other something before Sasuke finally shut his eyes and huffed.

"No."

"Sasuke." Itachi rose a brow, "this is Truth or Dare, not Lie or Dare..."

"I'm not lying, idiot."

"I totally admire your loyalty to Sakura and her confidence, but we won't judge."

"Shut up!"

Rin looked at Sakura, "you. Mean... You're a virgin?!"

"N-no!!" Sakura waved her hands in front of her defensively.

"Then...." Obito smirked, "why couldn't you or Sasuke answer that other question?"

"B-because it doesn't matter?"

"If you two refuse to tell the truth..." Obito grinned evilly, "Sakura's gonna have to take the penalty..."

Sakura turned red, "N-no, we're telling the truth! Honest!"

"Fine. It's true. We're virgins. Happy?"

"S-Sasuke!"

"Ooh..." Obito smirked, "please say 'dare' on this next one..."

"Never."

"O-okay, let's not go that far..." Shisui chuckled.

"This is barely scratching the surface!" Obito pumped his fist in the air and grabbed the bottle, "let's go round again!"

Oh crap... Sakura pursed her lips and clenched the cloth of her dress. This is not really what I expected to find at one of these reunions. She looked at Sasuke, who only stared daggers at his brother.

"Shisui, truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"Nice..." Itachi grinned, "I dare you to run around the event-room naked."

"Under-shirt and underwear?"

"Just underwear."

"Done."

Sasuke rubbed his forehead as Shisui stripped down to his underwear and quickly dashed out into the main event room where the rest of the Uchiha were. Obito and the rest of the small group were holding their sides laughing. Once Shisui returned, Sasuke stood up, "I think Sakura and I should go now."

Obito grabbed his arm, "No, no! We haven't dared you to do anything yet!"

"Well, I don't plan to do anything else!" Sasuke clenched his fists, "Sakura and I aren't playing along with your games anymore!"

"Hey, calm down." Itachi set his hand on Sasuke's shoulder, "besides, you might thank us later. Sasuke, I dare you and Sakura to play Five Minutes in Heaven in that closet over there."

"N-no, come on, Itachi!" Sasuke's face burned, "Sakura's had enough of this!"

"Come on, Sasuke, where's your fun?" Obito grabbed Sakura and pulled her towards the small closet on the other side of the room, "just a warning to you, this door isn't soundproof at all. We learned that the hard way last year."

"Itachi!" Sasuke tried to yank his arm back, but Itachi's grip tightened as he and Sakura were thrown into the small closet and locked in.

"Five minutes!" Obito called from the outside.

Rin muttered, "guys, I think this is a bit much for Sakura..."

"You think?" Izumi rose a brow, "Itachi, you're better than this..."

"Just wait." Itachi grinned, "they'll thank us later."

A few minutes passed before Obito pressed his ear against the door, "hey, I hear something. Sounds like... Loud breathing."

Itachi looked at him, "do you think they're doing it?"

"Only one way to find out!" The overly-zealous Uchiha grabbed the door handle and swung the door open, "hey!"

They all froze at the sight. Sakura really was breathing heavily, but for a completely different reason.

"You idiots..." Sakura growled under breath, "I'm gonna kill every single one of you..."

Sasuke chuckled sheepishly from behind her, "you're lucky I held her back from breaking the door down... She's already done it twice at our apartment."

"Sakura, we're sorry! I mean..." Rin ran up to a very upset Sakura, "we didn't mean to! We're just used to this, it's a New Year tradition."

Obito held his hands behind his head, "we just wanted to mess with you two."

"Yeah, well you know what?" Sakura grabbed the front of Obito's button-down and directed her tone to Itachi, "you Uchiha need to simmer down on the personal lives of your little brother and his wife... I don't care if I'm a virgin or not, but you boys need to get your heads out of the clouds and back to reality. Games like this are disgusting and not attractive at all. Let's go, Sasuke."

Without another word, Sakura stepped out of the room and left the hotel, Sasuke following close behind.

"You do realize this was all Obito, right?"

"Yes."

"And..." Sasuke rose a brow, "you know we're not virgins, right?"

"Of course I know that." Sakura turned to him and smirked, "your acting is impeccable, Mr. Uchiha."

"Why thank you." Sasuke took her hand and brought it to his lips, "let's go home."

"Yes, please." Sakura leaned her head on his shoulder, "that was our first and our last awkward Uchiha family reunion." 

~~~

Random Fan of the Day: Teresa_Uchiha

Written by xX_Fang_Xx

Thanks for your patience, despite our mini setbacks! We love you all! 😘