Allie's P.O.V

I let go of Luke and saw Finley looking like she was trying very hard not to cry. "Lee," I said, concerned. "Where's Eli?"

Her lip trembled and a single tear fell down her cheek, tracing her face. I knew then that something wrong, because Finley didn't cry that often.

"Finley," I frowned and left Luke, coming over by her to sit next to Finley. "What's wrong?"

Finley simply shook her head and turned away from me.

I heard Luke come closer and ask gently, "Finley, where's Eli?" I glanced up to see him looking down at her, worried.

"He left," her voice sounded strange, all choked up from her clearly trying hard not to cry

"Why'd he leave?" Allie's voice was gentle.

"W-We had a fight," Finley said, and now she was actually crying, tears making their way from her eyes.

"A fight?" I frowned again. "About what?"

Finley sniffed and wiped at her eyes. Luke sat next to me and looked at his sister with concern.

"About you guys," she admitted and our sigh emanated throughout the room.

"Finley, you don't have to fight about us," Luke said gently. "We can handle our own problems."

"B-But you guys were broken up and you're perfect for each other and I just wanted to help," she cried, sounding like a small kid caught in trouble.

"And we appreciate that," I said, putting my hand on her knee. "But your first concern should be you and Eli."

Finley sniffed in response.

"Finley, don't worry about us," I whispered. "If you love something, let it go and if it comes back then it loves you too, remember?"

"She has a point," Mr. Collins said.

We jumped; I had forgotten that he was even here.

"If it doesn't come back," he continued."It was never yours to begin with."

Luke and I nodded in agreement and Finley agreed to, but she still looked worried, which I figured was normal. She did have a right to worry, anyway. I was worried about Luke and she helped me, now she's worried about Eli and I'm trying to help her. 

I hope she gets everything sorted out.

When Finley excused herself to go upstairs, I looked at her dad. He looked slightly concerned. "She'll be okay," he said, as if he was trying to reassure himself more than us.

I nodded then took Luke's hand and led him upstairs. He smiled gently down at me as I closed his bedroom door behind us.

"I'm really glad you didn't leave," he said suddenly, pulling me close again and taking a deep breath, like he was trying hard not to cry.

"Um, about that," I said, disentangling myself gently. "We need to talk."

Luke looked confused. "But I thought you forgave me." 

"Well, I did, but that doesn't make everything okay," I said, sitting down on his bed with a heavy sigh. "You hurt me, Luke."

Luke sat down next to me, a look quite similar to despair on his face. "I know, and I'm so sorry." 

I held up a hand to stop him. "And I know you are, but this is different. And I really need to talk to you about this, because its important to me, so please, just listen."

Luke studied me for a moment then leaned back and crossed his hands in his lap. 

"Okay," I took a deep breath. "I only stayed because Finley made me talk to her. And while I was doing that, I realized something about relationships. They work when two people who care about each other work to make each other a better person, and that each individual works to make themselves a better person. And it doesn't just include romantic relationships," I added. "It includes all relationships, parents to kids, siblings to siblings, friend to friend, they all need that. It doesn't work when one person isn't trying to be better, and that one person hurts the other."

Luke nodded.

I chewed my lip for a nanosecond before asking, "So do you agree?" 

Luke's expression changed to bewilderment. "Agree about what?"

"That that's how relationships work," I said.

"Oh," Luke said. "Yeah." 

"So do you think that that's working with us?" I asked.

Luke hesitated. I could tell he wanted to say yes, but it really wasn't. Making each other better people, that wasn't us at all.

I filled in the blank for him. "No. Its not us."

I let that hang in the air and studied Luke's reaction. He looked worried, and quite serious, which was an expression that I don't see on him often. I ached to make him smile again, to hear his laugh, but I stood my ground. We needed to have this conversation.

"Um," he said. "Why not? I mean, why couldn't that be us?"

"It could be," I said, trying to be optimistic. "But right now its not. And do you know why?"

"You don't talk to me about your problems," he muttered, as if ashamed. "I talk to you about mine."

I nodded. "Bingo," I sighed deeply.

We sat there then, in an awkward silence, as none of us knew quite what to say. Luke was right, but there was more to it than that.

"Yes, that's true, but sometimes you have to ask the other person," I said. "Sometimes I don't feel like talking. If you see I'm down in the dumps, you could ask, instead of doing nothing."

"But wouldn't you rather be left alone?" he asked. "I mean, that's what I like."

I smiled sadly. "Well, if that's what you like, fine, but I'm a different person. We all have different coping mechanisms. But mine's different from yours."

Luke nodded. "Okay."

"And," I added, "You use me."

Luke sat up straight. "What's that supposed to mean?" he asked angrily.

I held up my hand, trying not to get angry again. "Luke, if you're going to get angry about the way I feel, we're going to have to continue this conversation later," I said calmly.

Luke leaned back and took a couple deep breaths and closed his eyes for a count of ten. "Okay, I'm good," he said, opening them again.

"Whenever you come over to my apartment, we always end up having sex. And while I don't mind that, every once in a while, I kind of would just like to talk to you and hang out instead of fucking all the time. And you only come over when you're feeling sad, and you expect me to cheer you up with sex. It might not feel like you're using me to you, but it does to me, and that, actually is why we fought today," I finished.

Luke chewed his lip nervously. "But I thought you liked sex?"

"I do," I said. "I like sex a lot, but I also love you. And I'd rather just talk with you then have sex."

"So you don't want to have sex?" he clarified.

"Not at the moment," I said. "I think we should take a break from sex and see if our relationship is actually more than just a physical one."

Luke wore an expression that looked pained. "But I love you," he said in a strangled voice. "I don't want to lose you."

"You're not," I reassured him. "We're not breaking up, we're just abstaining from sex for a little bit."

Luke fell silent and stared down at his hands. He looked so concerned, it made me a little worried, I hoped that we'd have more of a connection that just a physical one, because while we met each other through sex, I didn't fall in love with him for those moments. I fell in love with the boy who would laugh at my dirty comments and be able to fire one right back. I fell for the boy that was so beautiful it made my heart ache. I fell for the boy who cared deeply for his sister and would do anything for her. That's the Luke I fell in love with, not the Luke with nothing but a sex drive, because he was more that that.

I just hope that he knew that.

"Okay," he said finally.

I brightened. "Really?"

"Yeah," he nodded, confirming his answer. "I don't want to lose you. I love you, and if you don't want to have sex, then that's okay."

I smiled at him. "Okay," I said.

This was the first time we actually talked about our relationship and came to an agreement about it. We needed this talk.

Talking is what kept a relationship going, and it is what we should do. 

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dear Lord my writing is becoming cringy help me i'm losing it. 

anyway here is another chapter i hope you like it, i like the middle part more than anything, but that's just me. Did anyone catch that 5sos reference in the title? No? Just me... 'kay. Well, i slipped it in(that sounded wrong) simply because 1. i love 5sos 2. I've already made several references to them already so... yeah and 3. i might actually be going to see them in concert but nothing is concrete yet so woohoo I might see Calum in person whoot whoot

anyway, enough about me, i hope you are all having a lovely day and week and month and please go do something you love and have a great day!

love ya!

-taylor