Let me start by saying I suck at introductions, I do. Have you ever had this teacher who would make you stand up in front of everyone and just make you introduce yourself. I had her in fifth standard. And she was like, "Beta (Child), go introduce yourself to the class."

And I look at her with raised eyebrows mentally saying I have known these people and they know me since we have been in the pee-in-school-pants-slash-skirts stage.

In your defence, I know you don't know me. So yeah, it's fine. So why not just introduce myself.

For starters, I claim to be sarcastic. I am not sarcastic at all. Trust me. I'm this girl who everyone claims is sarcastic. Come on... Do I even sound sarcastic?

Read it out loud. I have no idea why my friends call me sarcastic. I am just saying what I feel and stating the ironies of life.

Like the fact I started my junior College preparing for MBBS and then got in in a medical college and dumped it all planning to do Psychology and English Literature. While many of my friends are repeating entrance for medical. Cursing ungrateful people like me.

So, I am a student of Arts. If you're an Indian, you should know that Arts is the most frowned upon and looked down stream on the whole planet.

It's a shame saying that your son or daughter has taken up Arts. My mother makes me say I have taken Psychology. Like Arts is not even a professional steam at all.

So, hey! I have taken up Psychology.

Besides that, I really am not comfortable shouting out my preferences.

I love Nutella. And it's damn costly. Thanks to the foreign transport taxes. Can't they build up a Nutella producing factory here?

Stop with the sky rocket plans, unless there's gonna be a good Nutella plant in Mars. I have studied Physics. It's a fat chance.

I'm fat too. So let's just concentrate on Nutella right now, shall we?
I really really like food. A foodie here.

So,  yeah. As I said, this all sounds damn creepy when you do it.

I mean who the heck cares whether you like food or not?

I do. I really do. I am judging you based on the way you eat. Yes. I am that creepy. I am a food person.

Just kidding.

I think.

So, facts, facts, facts... Hoping none of you are crazy stalkers. I seriously doubt someone is reading this but oh heck. You wanna do it. Do it. No double meaning were intended, intentionally. It just happened like naturally. So, what exactly what was I saying? I actually had to go back and read why I was making that reference...  Yeah, I am an Indian.

Whoa.

Stereotypes Alert.

Let me solve them for you. Which I fit and which I don't.

*goes on Google and Googles common stereotypes about Indian people*

So, I click on the first link... 

And I se this...

Indians move from india to the U.S. under a visa scam called H1B in a massive scale.

Most indians fake their diplomas and education history in attempts to find a job.
Not hardworking and honest, likely taking short cut. They talk a lot and walk little.

Yeah... It's almost true. I am not saying everyone does that, but yeah many people do that. 

Not hardworking and honest. If you're saying this to whole of India I should take offence, but I don't whoever made this comment had some bad experience. So, heck yeah, many of us are corrupted, the entire system and government is corrupted but so is the global level of politics if we are generalising. I find a nice British, I think all English people are cool. I find one bad British, and that's the only exposure I have to the country, I will think the whole country is bad. That's freaking human nature. 

Spare me the bull.

Like taking shortcut.... There is one term for it... Jugaad. You google it. Every Indian is aware of this. And many of us proudly own to the term. 

They talk a lot and walk a little. 

Cent percent true. We have abundant of mopeds, and we want to go to the next square we use it. About talking, nope, it's just the type of person you've met. He or she is an extravert they will talk a lot. If they are intraverts... they won't that's basically it. 

Next comment.

Don’t use deodorant
-Love Curry
-All worship cows

Hahaha... Don't use deodorant or use so much that it'll make you faint. 

I love burgers.

Religious diversity. Some eat cows. (Well not now after the recent beef ban but yeah... get the emotions darling.)

India is just gross. A gross country with silly, stupid people; In many ways India is worse than even Africa seeing as how India doesn’t have any worthwhile mineral assets. Out of my interactions with 1.5K Indians I’ve been able to stand maybe 2.

Yeah, totally agree. I am just waiting to move out of India this very moment, wonder why they are surprised at the H1B scams.

---- I won't give a disclaimer every time I use sarcasm. You have to just get it... but this is an exception, the above statement was filled with sarcasm. Please note it. ----

My country might be shittiest place on the planet. I love it. You gotta deal with it. 

Indian Accent

You find it funny? Even I find Raj Koothrapalli's accent funny. I don't talk that way. At least I hope I don't. Plus, not to sound rude or anything. At least we're using full grammatical sentences... as it is our second language and we pay a lot more attention to syntax and structure. 

Some of my American friends talk like this, 

"Yeah so, she was like and Imma like, I can't even..."

That didn't make sense. Seriously didn't. 

BAZINGA!

I know Indian accent sounds pretty funny. It's an accent and we are not deaf. Trust me, we make fun of people when they speak hindi in their accent. 

Again, human nature.

All in good fun though, it's alright. I do wish I had sexy British or Australian accent.

Indian Driving Skills

Non-existent. 

One sentence. 

"Traffic rules are for wimps"

That's the mantra we go by. And honestly, you're more likely to have a road accident if you follow traffic rules in India. Cuz, no one does. 

The next segment... It's so awesome. That I had to copy it and comment on every single thing. 

That's me, the commentator.

Note, the following is about main-stream commercial bollywood not movies like The Lunch Box and others. 

The Bollywood singing and dancing

Bollywood… have you ever watched a Bollywood movie?

I apologize for the brain damage then.

If you have, keep reading, If not, you need to watch one, it is hilarious 

At your own risk.

In short, Indian movies have nice songs,

No plots but nice songs.

nice dance moves

Google Salman Khan dance moves to know what they and I mean. Classic dance moves. The Step Up was inspired by them. 

and beautiful actresses,

Which have to act dumb (or they actually are?) and have to be the damsel in distress.

((Again, this is about the mainstream bollywood and stories like Kahani are not a part of this))

yet, there is a few more things to know about Bollywood.

There is so much more...

Many Indian movies are blatant rip-off of the Hollywood movies.

Yes. See Krrish 3 for example, it's all X-men, Matrix and the Mirrors mash up with brown people wearing gaudy clothes and freaky dance moves. Tap dance in normal shoes. That's a super hero skill.

The story is usually bloated and exaggerated, but overall the famous Indian movies are pretty good

Yeah, some famous Indian movies are good. But they are a one time watch. There are only few famous movies that are good. Many artistic works don't get fame or are not even allowed on the screen because it contains controversial topics. 

The funny part is that, out of the blue and for no justified reason, all Indian movies suddenly break into a dance and singing scene. Indian movies are pretty long (more than 3 hours) and usually half of these 3 hours are all about singing and dancing.

 Yeah. That's a stereotype I absolutely agree to. Thumbs up author.

This turned out to be the originally planned four hundred words. But yeah, Indians do talk a lot. 

If you liked it and want to read more, add it to your reading lists and library. I will update twice or thrice a week. 

Hit the comments section to tell me what YOU feel. 

Peace.