february 14th 2021

we were never meant to be together
you were superficial
i was deep
you said whatever passed through your mind
and i thought about every single word i could let out of my lips
i guess that's what's funny
you never said you loved me
or that i was beautiful
but i
foolish me
said all sorts of things to you
i never said i loved you
cause i never did love you
it was more a burning desire that passed through my whole body whenever you would touch me
i told you all sorts of things that you should have been able to interpret
i guess you were always too superficial to understand the fiery thirst for your body in my "i never said you weren't handsome"
you should have known that the way i was looking at you was a mirror of my flaming lust
but you didn't
or if you did you never did anything for it
you never satiated my need
you were never brave enough to face my trembling desire for your body
as i said before
it was never love
i could never love someone that hurt me that much
but i needed you
i needed your kiss
i needed to see if mine against every parcel of your golden skin would arouse you
i would've kissed your lips
marked your neck
i would've let you do anything to me
as long as i would have had you
but you didn't want to have me
and that i must wistfully admit
i must finally accept it
you never craved for my body like i craved for yours
you never lost yourself when my eyes crossed yours
you never gazed at me when i wasn't looking just to admire me
you never longed for the feeling of my skin against yours
you never wanted to bury your face in my neck and in my hair just to scent me
you never felt your legs tremble and your breath leave you whenever my hand touched a random part of you
you never felt your body aching and burning just from looking at me
and it breaks my heart
i hate you for it