Title: Variant

Author: JokeWasOnMe

Reviewer: Prince_Pretence

Cover: 3/5

Aesthetically pleasing, but doesn't give the "superheroes" vibe. And a pro tip: don't use your username on your covers, or use "by XYZ". It's pretty distracting and amateur. If you want to go with an aesthetic element, then continue with this one, but I'd suggest a "superhero—y" cover for the book. Would work better.

Blurb: 2.5/5

It gives off so many different ideas, and none relates to the story at all. No, I don't mean the sentence itself [because I know that you've used it in your book], but the essence. If you hadn't told me about the 'superhero' element of the book before I read the cover, I would've thought of it some adventure story, like, and someone needs rescuing and hopeful about it. But at the climax, when someone does come to rescue them, it's not the right people—instead, they're the worst people, and well, he is again stuck in yet another pit. So, you know, that's how I interpreted it. Then while reading the book, when I came across this sentence, it didn't strike me as "oh, no!". Because when she was caught, your protagonist wasn't surprised. More on this Character Development.

Grammar: 3.5/5

Although the grammar in this book as well is smooth, the writing style is way too flowery for the superhero genre—more on this in the writing style section. I'd suggest you not to swap the tenses [to foreshadow] and narratives. That had happened only once or twice in the entire book, so a good rereading ought to fix that. Apart from that, as usual, it's formatting and stuff. Again, nothing too grave, but if it can be fixed, fix it.

Character Building: 2/5

So, unlike Are You Crazy, Variant's all the focus was on its main character. It's not a bad thing, per se, but the side characters in the book hold severe positions in the story, given that they are 'variants' as well. They are also hinted to be working with Sterling, but are constantly undermined and made to look foolish or just unimportant, because hey! The protagonist is a Mary Sue.

Harper is the very definition of modern Mary Sues. Consider the prologue where she is sparring with Artur, and "magnificently" breaks the rules of the act and gets labelled impressive. Apart from the general law of 'not breaking' the rules', her abilities as a variant are shoved continuously in the readers' face telling 'oh, just how strong she is!'. Even if we leave the technical incorrectness that a 16–year–old simply CANNOT defeat a 51–year–old in hand–to–hand combat, the lack of anything that the readers should "feel" is missing. My first thought after completing the chapter was—well if she is so smart and on the way to become a prodigy and defeat her instructor by breaking the rules of combat [which, I suppose, is done to show her a rule–breaker], what do I have to worry about? Nothing. Why should I bother reading the book?

But I understand. This is a prologue, so maybe this space is utilised to inform us of the strength of the protagonist so that whenever someone unfamiliar with her tries to challenge her, we [readers] can smirk and say, 'she's gonna beat your ass'. Well, the bad news: all I felt was—this can't be real. We don't know how long it has been since Harper left L.A.C.E. In all the posted chapters, we didn't learn much about Harper that we should feel, connect, and worry to/about. And no, the idea of a rough 'childhood' and dead parents is such a big turnoff in all the literary genres, especially when it comes to superheroes. It's a cliche that no one feels sympathetic anymore unless it's done right and that death or rough childhood has shaped the character in any sense. Harper mentions again and again that she didn't like killing, and yet she remarks at that cafe that may be killing the soldier would've made things easier for them. She is written to be sassy and smart and all–knowing, which we have seen in Natasha Romanoff, in Wanda, in Alice, in Lara—every female "strong" character. Her dialogues are chalky and uninteresting and used. "Well, how is this going to play out?" roughly translates to "Before we start, anyone wants to leave?" Remember where is that from? I'm sure you do because this is every superhero/action book ever. She knows everything and learns what she doesn't know in a matter of time. Harper does not have any flaws, and that's what makes her a Mary Sue. Captain Marvel.

Again, though, while all this, to me as a reader, is profoundly uninteresting and boring, these aren't bad if this is exactly how you wanted Harper to appear. If you wanted her to be seen as a 16–year–old whose only trait is kicking ass, well then, you're on the right way. Is it a good thing or a bad thing? For me, it's the worst. But I'm just one reader. I cannot and will not speak for everyone else while I criticise things. And about all the other characters—this is so different than Are You Crazy? In a word, I don't know anything about any other character or place or institution that I should care or hate them. Period.

Writing Style: 2/5

Your writing style resembles the same thing as your other book. So, I'm not gonna repeat myself here. The only other thing here is that Harper here speaks everything directly to the reader. Everything. Even she is observing something/someone or even THINKING, it's like, she is doing it for us, the readers. As if that'll make us care about her. It won't. Also, this is a Character Building bit, but I'll write it here that when writing superheroes, you have to understand that they are above normal, real–life people. Not just different, straight up above. When you try to show her tendency to be violent and rash with her "gifts" or hate them, it only makes us [or, at least, me] roll our eyes and sigh about how big of a drama queen Harper is. Because we lack those powers and we'd love to have them. So if you want us to care about her, you'll have to mark her flaws in things that make her human. Not superhuman. Apart from that, you can refer to the review of Are You Crazy for the critique of your writing style.

Plot + Originality: 2/5

Let's talk about and get over with originality. Iron Man had a rough childhood. Captain America had a rough childhood. Natasha never knew her parents. Alice will forever stay confused if she ever even had parents. Daredevil was trained in a bad place. Batman became Batman due to all the wrong reasons. Wanda hates the thing that she had become. Spiderman had a tough time in his teenage years. Again, most of these and hundreds of others like them were not treated right by their mentors. So, originality is—pretty low. Also, I'm pretty sure these people hate their mentors and would love to exact revenge on them and free the world of their evil clutches, using the power that was provided or enhanced by those very "bad mentors". So, so far, when it comes to the protagonist, the originality meter is down.

About the plot: Harper and DCL termed L.A.C.E to be the bad guys, so we [readers] should be convinced that they indeed are the bad guys and hate them and love these. Not a bad thing from a general standpoint, but since you've asked for my opinion—I have no reason to care about it or even bother understanding the plot or the story, because I've read this exact thing in hundreds of books of this genre, the fantasy genre, and all the genres, in general. Honestly, I didn't even understand the plot until third rereading. The chapters are SO long that you could beat Stephen King with it. Okay, just kidding—but they are still long for Wattpad's thing. Especially when, for the most part, we are only hearing Harper glamourise herself with how powerful her telepathy is, or how she hates her gifts or how sad her life is. And pickpocketing someone is not a bad thing that a character does, but when they unabashedly flaunt it, it is a problem. Not a moral dilemma, no. It's a cliche. I know it well because I've used it with every.single.character in all my books, which accounts for at least 18 characters. And that's just me! If you want Harper to join the same list, be my guest.

OVERALL SCORE: 14.5/30

While you can argue that all your readers might not have seen Marvel or action movies, or all of them, most of your readers WILL HAVE SEEN THEM, because that's what connects us. The action, the extraordinary capabilities. Many will find Harper's resemblance to Romanoff or Wanda "badass", but personally, to me, it's plain ol' painful cliche and lazy writing. The timeline is absent. Everyone one the protagonist's side is right and the other side is wrong, meaning they all know everything, so I don't see any reason for me to expend my energy on them. All of them are badass and undefeatable, but surprise! They will be defeated once. Harper is not what she seems. She is so much more capable of being human.

Yeah, again, every Mary/Gary Sue and their lives, EVER.

I wrote this in the beginning, and I'm writing this again: all of this is my personal, very personal critique. All your readers do not think the same as me. So, don't be discouraged by my words. Seek out other opinions and decide well for yourself. Read this review once, and if you feel like I'm wrong, which is perfectly fine, do reread it. Forget that I ever told you anything. All that that I've pointed out are not WRONG things by themselves. They are simply used time and again. That's it. My personal favourite thing from the book is Diversity, so good job on that one!

If you have any questions or anything to say, feel free to say them. I won't counter your opinion on your book, because it's yours.