Title: A Reckless Soul

Author: whisperingofpages

Reviewer: brooklyn-rose-15

Summary: 4/5

Overall, your summary was pretty nicely written, though there are a couple of recommendations I would suggest. First of all, I loved that catchy excerpt at the beginning. It really captured my attention and helped me understand the genres of the story.

However, I would suggest using a border line or perhaps a sentence that lets the readers know it's an excerpt. Without that confirmation, it was hard to realize that the second paragraph was a part of the summary itself rather than the excerpt. That said, I suggest using a border line or writing "excerpt," above the summary.

Otherwise, I really enjoyed your summary. It wasn't too lengthy, but it didn't give too many details either, which was great because it led on the readers' sense of suspense. I also loved the way you ended it, with that powerful, strong sentence that drew the readers in for more.

Grammar + Punctuation: 5/5

I was very impressed with your grammar and punctuation. The only mistakes I encountered were careless typos that can be easily fixed with an editing session. However, I did notice the issue of tenses. A majority of the story was written in past tense, but there were a couple of spots in which you slipped into present tense.

For example, "...she materialized over to a tall vase, housing a fake indoor Chamaedorea Elegans Evergreen plant. Sneakily, she riffles through the plant's leaves..." This bothered me a bit because in the first part of the sentence, you used materialized, but later in the paragraph, you switched to present tense and used riffles. That said, riffles should be written as rifles instead of riffles.

Other than a couple of those incidents, there weren't too many other mistakes that I noticed in the story. Well done!

Characterisation: 3/5

Although your book was well-written for a majority of the time, I did find it quite difficult to get the feel of characterization throughout the story. Audrey's emotions, actions and thoughts were well-developed from the very first chapter on, but there weren't many suggestions to her personality or reactions. The rest of the characters, including Fury and Maria, weren't very strongly developed either.

For example, "Fury's single good eye narrowed at his laptop's screen. 'I suppose we should let her know.'" This was a missed opportunity to explain more about the character. Perhaps you could add something to explain why Fury was pondering this and why he didn't tell her. You could also consider adding more internal conflict, which, although it's hard to do in third person, could totally be accomplished.

Additionally, using more speech tags could help with emotional input as well. Using more tags can never hurt, and it's definitely helpful to the reader in terms of understanding the tone and use of words in the text. You seem to use a lot of dialogue, but most of them without speech tags, which throws off the scene of internal/external conflict.

Otherwise, you did a pretty good job explaining characters' actions and thoughts without using information dumps. Good work!

Writing Style: 5/5

Your writing style was fantastic, period. The darkness of the story was really nicely written, and you included a lot of references to other characters while using dialogue, which really helped pull together my understanding of this fanfiction.

I also noticed that you didn't have too many plot holes in your plot, which is a good thing! Each event led up to the next, and the next, and so on, and none of them were irrelevant or unnecessary. Overall, great job in this section!

Plot + Originality: 4/5

Since this is a fanfiction, there isn't much to go off of for this scoring section, though I really liked the originality of each character. They weren't too similar to the characters in Captain America's movies, and I really liked that there were added characters as well; ones like Maria really showcased that creative mind of yours.

In terms of plot, I definitely think it was a great story. It was well-directed and, as mentioned before, it didn't swerve off course and go into a side event that was totally irrelevant. However, I do think a quick read-through could fix all those little spots that needed touching up, especially in the character development section.

Overall, you did such a nice job with this book; it has so much potential! Keep on writing. 

OVERALL SCORE: 21/25