Title: Her Soul

Author: Nefili123

Reviewer: Addison-AJ

Summary: 4.2/5

Your summary was pretty great! It talked about the main characters, the plot, and the problem in the story. I loved how the title related to the question at the end. Now, all of this was very clear to the reader. But it was almost at the point where it was a little too clear.

I noticed that there was a lot of information throughout the description, which is fine. However, the summary should have enough details to make the reader want to read, but not so much that it answers their questions. If you look at the length of your summary, there are definitely parts that you can leave out. That way, it won't seem overwhelming for just a short description.

On a more positive note, the question was amazing. The only thing with it is that it somewhat jumps from the massive amount of information to the question. All three parts were amazing on their own, and it would make it even better if the transitions were smoother. To emphasize on this, I have an example:

Now he would have to take her soul and save the innocent.

Will he take her soul or fall for her?

It's not very convincing, and that's because it needs to have a greater impact on the reader. Talk about how he felt after he met her. Did she seem like a murderer at first? Was it more of the typical 'love at first sight' to the reader? If you give barely enough detail to answer the questions like these (not too much), then it would make the transitions smoother.

Secondly, there was a minor capitalization error that I found in your summary. This was not included in the final score, because it was literally the smallest one ever!

His Jaw was set hard.

In this case, the word 'jaw' is not a proper noun. That means that it won't be capitalized. For this category, I encourage you to not give so much information that it answers a lot of questions. Instead, try and create more questions with just enough information. But otherwise, your summary is fantastic!

Character Building: 4/5

All the characters in your book were beautiful and unique. There was a perfect amount of diversity between them, and their personalities were different. Aviana's stubbornness and Riann's strength - Wow! The characterization and their dialogue were intriguing and interesting. There were meaningful wording and engaging language. Well done!

I only had a couple of issues with the characters. First of all, you introduced quite a few characters in the first couple of chapters: Jayden, Aviana, Riann, Amos, Kenya, Mithali, Mikilene, Scarlet, Morris, Dash, Silas. It became hard to keep track of at one point. Later on in the story, it was easier to remember. My suggestion for this is to spread it out more. Maybe you can add the less important characters later in the book.

I have never mentioned this before in a review, but I want you to know how unique and creative your names are. You chose such amazing ones for your book. Aviana and Kenya were by far my personal favorite. Spectacular job with the names of your characters.

The only other issue that I had with your characters was that there could have been more showing than telling. Occasionally, you could have been more specific with their personalities and attributes. Your other descriptions were amazing, but I did want to mention this. An example would be from chapter two:

Riann hated it when people got a glimpse of his weaknesses and insecurities.

Why did he hate it? How did he feel when someone got a glimpse of his weaknesses? Did he not like to show his true self and attitude? You can add more detail using these points. It'll make it more clear to his overall character as well.

Moving on, there's also the characters from chapter one. This was very engaging since the reader learned more about Aviana's personality. I was not expecting Sage's death, and it was very captivating. There was a wonderful use of the characters and their personalities in this chapter. Enough but not too much, which is very important. Just don't forget to even out how many characters you introduce in one chapter, and show instead of tell!

Grammar: 3/5

You've got your basic grammar rules down, and that's visible to the reader. There were a few grammar issues that I found, though. I will be going through all the mistakes. Also, there will be some examples from the story.

First of all, there was the punctuation. When I say this, it refers to mostly commas in place of periods and unnecessary commas. There were often times when there should have been a stronger punctuation mark. That would suit the sentence structure better, and not disrupt the fluency of your book. Here are a few examples of commas in place of periods. I think it was just a small error made throughout the story, so I have decided to focus on where I found it:

Chapter One: But Scarlet and Aviana had spoken sense into Mikilene, no, more like forced her.

- There should have been a period in place of the first comma.

Chapter One: "Seems, you are searching for something."

- There shouldn't be a comma after the word 'seems.'

Chapter One: That was true Mikilene was the best, Melvin only came after her.

- It should have been something like 'That was true. Mikilene was the best. Melvin only came after her.'

Chapter Two: I am sorry ok, what do you want me to do now?

- It should have been 'I am sorry, ok? What do you want me to do now?'

Chapter Two: Who follows protocols and rules, better than us?

- There does not need to be a comma in this sentence.

These are a couple of sentences that need to be fixed. Just minor issues that need to be corrected. The second point I wanted to focus on was the spelling and capitalization. This wasn't as common as the one before, but I did find a couple of these. For example, I noticed that in a couple of chapters, you spelled 'diary' as 'dairy.' This happened in chapter four and chapter twenty-six. In chapter sixteen, you spelled 'dress' as 'drees.' Again, this wasn't as common as the other one.

And, finally, one last thing. I sometimes noticed that you used periods in sentences that needed question marks. This happened in chapter fourteen, twenty-four, and twenty-six. However, I did notice that your grammar improved a lot after the first half of the book. Most of these mistakes were from the first five to ten chapters. Well done with the improvement!

As usual, I love to give resources for grammar. If you need it, you can always use Grammarly or the Hemmingway Editor App. I think Grammarly would be very helpful when you write. It underlines mistakes in red and would do a lot for your grammar. But other than that, grammar just needs a little more work. Nothing you can't do!

Writing Style: 4.5/5

  You really have a way with words as a writer. Your descriptions and detail are spot-on, too. Your prologue had just the right amount of detail in it. The descriptions were engaging and easy to flow, not confusing at all. There were a couple of moments that I would like to refer to, however.

One small thing I noticed with your book was that you use the characters' names all the time. In other words, for Aviana most of all, you don't use 'she' and 'her.' There's only her name when you refer to her. This happened mostly in the first couple of chapters. I suggest not always using her name, so it doesn't become excessive or unnecessary.

Additionally, you spread out information about the plot evenly throughout the book. There were a few exceptions that may need to be edited, though. For example, in chapter two, you included a lot of information about Roxos. Then, you suddenly switched back to dialogue. Perhaps you could spread it out more to make it easier for the reader to understand.

Lastly, I would like to talk about the flashback of Novak in the forest. This was amazing! I loved it so much. It was the perfect time to include it as well. You did a great job here. Just try to not use the characters' names so much at the start, and spread out the information. But marvelous nonetheless!

Plot + Originality: 5/5

      Your plot should get a 10,000/5! It was such a unique idea and perfectly executed. The characters, plot, and originality led to a story like no other. It's not cliché at all, and it's easy to understand. You have a well-planned plot that stays steady throughout the book. I've never read a book similar to this, and I like how it builds up slowly to the climax. You have a phenomenal plot and the creativity is outstanding!

OVERALL SCORE: 20.7/25

  Overall, this is a great book! You've thought of a very unique idea and I love the characters and descriptions. Just make sure to polish your grammar and punctuation. But other than that, you are a promising author. Hope this is helpful!