Title: Era of Talis, Book 1: Knight Fire

Author: JadeFoliage

Reviewer: Fanfictionist2004

Summary: 4/5

Your summary really catches the attention of any potential readers, but I think that you should provide more information, for instance, "To save her half-brother" here you should add the name of the brother, "To save her half-brother, (blank), who means everything to Jade". Another suggestion is that you try adding the highest ranking at the top as well as the graphic designer - this helps the reader know that your story has potential.

Grammar: 3/5 

In the beginning of your prologue you wrote:

"Once upon a time, Earth was know to mankind as Talis." 

This doesn't really flow properly in my opinion, maybe you could try something like: 

"Once upon a time, Earth as we know it was known as Talis to our ancestors," or something similar.

You also missed some punctuations like closing quotes.

Character Building: 4/5 

Maybe you could try describing the characters as soon as we meet them, like their hair color etc. You should also mention how old they are since it helps the readers connect more to the characters.

Writing Style: 3/5 

Your writing style is really unique, it has a steady flow but it gets confusing midway. From the first chapter I get the main points but it took me a while. Maybe you should try describing everything in great detail and explaining earlier on why things are happening.

Most chapters like the second and third chapter really catches the readers attention, the way you begin a chapter is what really catches the readers attention in my opinion. You began the second chapter by making the readers envision Jade's dream which not many authors think of. So overall great job on that.

Plot Uniqueness: 5/5 

I haven't read anything remotely similar to this and it was a good read for me. I look forward to reading more about Jade and Diana and how they handle different situations. 

Overall Score: 19/25

Thank you so much for choosing me as your reviewer and I am sorry that it took me a while to get this to you, Please keep in mind that this is all constructive criticism and I do not mean to sound mean.