" Chanak, Chanak"
The sound of ghungroo's reverberated in the backstage of 'Ravindra Bharati', mingling with the chatter of the excited yet nervous performers. The performers were young, full of life and Urvi sat in the corner, her hazel eyes on them, reminiscing the old moments that she had spent as a teenager along with her best friends in backstages just like this one.

The performers walked towards the stage, the bells on the ghungroo jingling and the music signifying the start of the performance.

Every jingle of the bell was a memoir of the broken chains, that she had been bound in the name of honour and a life that she left behind.
♣
Urvi

I picked up the ghungroo from the plate beside me and touched it to my forehead in reverence, muttering a small prayer to the god of dance; Nataraj, hoping that my performance would go smoothly.

Today, I Urvi Chauhan was going to perform in one of the most famous auditorium's in Hyderabad, in front of living legends of Bharatnatyam themselves and I was giddy with happiness.
It's not every day you get such an opportunity.

As a kid, as a teenager, as a woman, I had lived for dancing. When my best friend was dating her first boyfriend, I went and told my mother that I was in a relationship.
She had almost got a heart attack until I told her bursting into laughter, that I was in a relationship with dance!
We still laugh about it sometimes. How I wish she was here to watch her daughter prance across the stage.

And that brings me to my second love, Vedant Shekhawat. We got married in a typical Indian arranged marriage when I was 24 and he was 26.
Vedant isn't the classic billionaire with the best looks, rather he is an average looking software engineer working at an MNC. The most stunning feature of his face is his honey coloured eyes that always held so much warmth and the power to make me feel like a lovesick teenager. He was always very understanding and considerate of my feelings but I don't know what changed that day.

My parents, grandparents, aunts all had told me that marriage is all about compromise but what they didn't understand was that it took two stones to light a fire and compromise were required by both the individuals in a marriage.
I had to start compromising even before I was engaged to Vedant and I wish I had understood what I was getting into that very day.

I think it was on our second date- after our marriage had been fixed when Vedant had very hesitantly asked me to quit dancing because the elders in his family felt that it was unacceptable for their daughter-in-law to be dancing in front of strangers.
I was aghast for I had very clearly mentioned that I was not quitting Bharatnatyam under any circumstance. When I reached home and told my parents that I didn't want to get married to Vedant hoping for their support, they on the other hand coaxed me into quitting dance because this proposal was way too nice to let go because of something as trivial as dance.
From that day to after the wedding I hardly spoke to anyone more than necessary and did all that was told like an "ideal daughter" because that was what had become my identity now.

I always looked at my ghungroo's lying in the corner of my cupboard, which I had very stubbornly bought with me despite everyone's refusal to my new home. I went on with my life for 5 years, with a prick in my heart about leaving something so precious behind.

Love in our case took time, precisely more than 3 years of being married and when we did fall in love discovering the new feelings, the pressure to have kids came along. I didn't want them so soon and neither did Vedant but he loved his parent's way too much to tell them this.
When I asked Vedant to move out of his parents to our own house, his parents were furious at me, saying that I was taking their son away from them. Things were slowly falling apart between me and Vedant and just 5 days before our 5th wedding anniversary I told Vedant, that my guru had called me to perform on stage along with her.
I knew about this performance for a long time and I had secretly practised my dance. When I had told Vedant about my performance expecting some sort of support and encouragement from him but all I got was a shouting match between us. The very next day, told my mother-in-law about my performance and as expected, she started with her theatrics about how I was taking their lineage's name down the drain.

Vedant as usual sided with her and for the first time in 5 years, I felt as if I was a stranger in this house and that I didn't matter to Vedant. Why is it that, men side with their mothers and not with their wives even when they know that their wife is right. I wanted to scream and shout but I blinked back my tears, steeled my heart and walked out of the room.
Maybe I can never forget and forgive Vedant for the words he said to me that night.
Words are more lethal than bullets for the wounds caused by a bullet can be healed but the wounds by words keep hurting one throughout life, until their very last breath.

"Urvi"

"Hmm"

"You should apologize to ma. She's very upset because of what you did today"

"I should apologize to her? And for what may I ask?!", I asked Vedant with anger and disbelief coating my features.

"Urvi, Don't start a new drama again. I'm way too tired for it", he said with irritation.

"Even I'm tired Vedant. Tired of choosing you every time over my dreams. Tired of being belittled. Tired of hoping you'll understand Vedant!", I said sliding onto the floor, my throat parched due to screaming.

" If you are so tired Urvi, then leave!. You have one option, either our love and us or your dance", he said frustrated

It was at that moment when I knew that things had fallen apart.
Relationships are like thread work. If a single knot comes open, then the entire fabric is destroyed. It takes time to come off but the culmination is just a mess of threads.

After so many years, I chose myself over everything and packed my bags. Booked a flight and flew to Hyderabad.
I was finally happy.

But as I wait backstage, just a few minutes away from my performance, I think maybe what I did was an impulsive act.
I don't want to go back but love is stupid and it makes you do stupid things.
What do I choose? Love or Dance
                                                          ♣

Vedant

"If you are so tired, then leave!. One option, either us or dance"

When I had said those words in the heat of anger, I hadn't expected her to pack her bags and leave.
But what I knew and know better now is that Urvi is a woman of substance. She doesn't bow because of fear but because of respect and love. She left dancing out of respect to my family and maybe out of love for me but we misused that very respect.

If I've understood Urvi even a little in these years then I know she won't tolerate this any longer and probably isn't planning to return.
She is a falcon. Majestic, strong and meant to keep soaring.
To her societal norms are chains and she has broken them to touch the heights of skies.
Maybe this is the last chance to talk to her. To tell her, that I understand her and that I'm with her.
                                                          ♣

Urvi

"Urvi", My guru called out, bringing me out of reverie.

" Yes mam", I replied

"Beta, since the time you've come here, I've noticed there's something that's bothering you and also that none of your family is here. Whatever it is that's troubling you, always know that Dance is about expression and liberation. If there is something that's stopping you from doing this, then don't dance for anything done without happiness is like fruit without nectar", she told me her eyes full of love and wisdom.

" Yes, mam. I understand what you are trying to tell me but I don't know if I can leave everything behind and move on", I replied my voice choking in the end.

"Urvi, there is someone from your family whose waiting for you near the entrance backstage", Diya said"

"Go Urvi", mam said with a smile.

I walked with a huge smile on my face thinking it was my parents but my smile dropped and my heart ached in yearning to see the person in front of me.
No points for guessing who it is. I told you to love is a stupid thing and my heart is stupider than that-wanting to hug the person who asked me to leave.

" Why did his highness decide to grace us with his presence here", I asked in a sharp tone

"Ouch! You haven't lost your touch, have you?", he said with a smile and I deadpanned at his lame attempt to joke.

"Will you stop wasting my time with your lame jokes and tell me why you're here? Oh! Let me guess you are guilty about what happened and have come up with some shitty apology speech?

"Yes, I am guilty about what I said. I should have taken a stand for you but I was torn between you and ma. No, pls let me finish", he added when I was going to retort back.

" It was wrong of me to ask you to stop doing something, that you loved more than yourself. I asked you to choose between your heartbeat and breath. We were all selfish and worried about society more than you. Nevertheless, I'm very sorry for everything till now.
I realised love is supposed to let people free. It doesn't bound but in the name of love, I was doing the same.
I came here to be with you on one of the most momentous occasions in your life. To see you smile with content on the stage. I love you Urvi and I'll not ask you to stay back if you feel suffocated there. We can figure out something after this event. Just know that I'll stand by you know and by the way, happy anniversary!", he finished with his standard lopsided smile and again my heart started jumping.

"I still love you Vedant. I can't hate someone I've taken so much time to fall in love with now, can I?. I am still mad at you and I need time. Time to heal me and to dance to my heart's content.
Maybe I'll come back, but not so soon", I replied with some tears in my eyes.

" Urvi, don't cry or your make up artist will throw a few foundation bottles at me for ruining your make up", he said with a small chuckle.

"Please before I come back, try to improve your sense of humour a little. And a Happy Anniversary to you too", I finished.

                                                       ♣
Vedant

Urvi walked on to the stage, and my breath stopped for a moment. She looked ethereal. The song started playing and she tapped her feet and moved on the stage immersed in the god, she called dance. My heart was at peace; in love.
Her ghungroo's rhythmically went " Chanak, Chanak" and she was finally happy.

                                                                                                             ♣♣♣

Hi guys, how is everyone? This is my first short story and an entry for the kalam-e-pehchaan contest.
Pls, do tell me how it was. I would love your feedback.

ओम
27/1/21