Im already dressed so I just sit on the edge of my bed, waiting for them to come in and grab me for meditiation. I really dont wanna know what it is, but at the same time, I just want to get it over with. Im so tired, I got no sleep last night since that incident behind this curtain. I might never get sleep if they make this a daily thing. I take my hair down and re-tie it in a bun. Im getting anxious as Im just waiting on my bed, looking up and down at my linen white outfit and boots. Everything is quiet so everyone else must be gone. Good. I need some time alone to my own thoughts. So... what exactly am I thinking about? Escape is too far fetched for me to even consider. I wonder- 

"Mom!" I gasp.

The door opens abruptly and the two guards stand at the door looking down at me.

"Let's go." He shouts.

I stand up and walk with them through the only off-white double doors in this whole place. "The Meditiation Room" looks like it was pulled straight from a yoga book. It seems to be the most serene place in this prison. A small pond in the middle of the room with pebbles, artificial grass all around, stones, it even smells like the outside. They point to a spot on the ground and I sit indian style. They hand me a face mask and some headphones. I put them both on and the second I breathe in the gas I can feel myself slipping away. Probably laughing gas. Through the headphones there is a soothing female voices, almost whisking me off to sleep. The room disappears as I can no longer keep my eyes open and the guards remove the mask as I have no choice but to lay back on the ground. My body is limp, but my mind is still active.

"Welcome to part 1 of your meditiation. This will allow you to release all of your stress, anger, vices, convention, and rebellious attitude so you can be reborn again to fight for the cause. In part 1, we will clear out your mind of unnecessary evils. Are you ready? Let's begin." The voice chirps away.

Soft music starts to play from the headphones and I can almost feel electrical pulses going through my body, but I ignore it.

"In today's exercise, we will say a word and you will respond with the first word that comes into your head. This is an interactive exercise, so any word will do. We will begin with the word: Sun."

"Rise." I say automatically.

"Good. Red." The voice continues.

"Rose." I answer.

"Excellent. Trash." She says like a robot.

"Can." I say, now wondering where she is going with this.

"Great. Hair." She continues.

"Style." I feel my body convulse immediately after I answer as I feel a shock of electricity go through my body.

"Style is not permitted. Style means individuality. Individuality is prohibited. Unity is mandatory. Let's try it again. Hair." She says, now with a hint of evil in her voice.

"Brush."I whisper, now afraid to answer another question.

"Fantastic. Silver. She continues.

"Lining." I say automatically. "Ow!" I yell as another shockwave comes over me.

"Silver lining reflects a very specific rebellious attitude. We are working to rid you of that. The beliefs of silver linings are the beliefs of a better day in a miserable situation, but this is not a miserable situation, this is the only solution to the problem of the world. Start believing that and you will be closer to your rebirth. Try again. Silver." She chirps.

"Car?" Another zap in my side and I hold my side instinctively. "Ow.." I moan.

"Cars promote freedom and ignorance to the world around you. Cars are evil and should never be thought if as a luxury, privilege, or anything valuable at all. Cars promote rebellion. Try again. Silver." She says sinister.

"Caps." I whisper, waiting for a shock, but there is none.

"Excellent. Air."

"Conditioning." That cant possibly be bad. This whole place is air conditioned.

"Wonderful. You got it. Mother." She squeaks.

"Love." I say, wishing I could find my mother. A very intense shock to my side makes me yell and squirm. "What is your problem??" I yell at the woman through the headphones.

"Love is a weakness. Love is vulnerability. Love is blind sacrifice. You will sacrifice for the betterment of the cause now, not for the love of another. Love is outlawed. Block it out of your head. Try again. Mother."

"Father." I say weakly.

"Great. Father." She continues.

"Mother." I say sarcastically and I feel a zap in my ear.

"Sarcasm is a rebellious attitude. It is prohibited. Try again. Father." She says, sounding like she is actually getting annoyed.

"Daughter." I feel a zap in my knee and I feel like they cracked my bone in half. I sit up, opening my eyes and holding my knee, crying from the pain. "Stop! I dont know what you want me to say! It's my mind and you cant condemn me for thinking what I want to think!" 

As I look around, everyone else is laying on the ground taking zaps just like I was. This is insane.

"Mother, Father, Sister, Daughter, that does not exist anymore. Family equals love, love equals unnecessary sacrifice, which promotes rebellion. All of this is prohibited. These are your lessons. This is not a punishment, just training. Lay back." The voice says.

My eyes get wide. How does this computerized voice know Im sitting up? The pain is overriding my fear. 

"No." I say, rebelling. 

"One last chance. Lay back." She says calmly.

"No!" I yell.

The guards yank the headphones from off of my head and drag me over to the pond, which is deeper than I could have imagined. 

"You wanna be like your boyfriend? I hope you got the balls to take the consequences." One of the guards yells at me.

He dunks my head under the water and I can feel my lungs burning and filling up with water. I struggle for air as I am kept firmly under the water. I flail my arms and legs everywhere, but there is no use. My energy is sapped and my whole body starts to go limp, my lungs burning, consciousness fading. Once I feel like Im within an inch of my life, my head hits the artificial grass and I spit up a bucket's worth of water. Everything is blurry as the guards pick me up and take me into a different room where I feel shocks in the back of my head. I touch back there quickly and look at my hazy fingers.

Blood.

As my consciousness is fading I feel the guards pick me up again and drag me to a familiar pair of doors. They sit me down in a seat. I feel a sharp pain in my neck and see a needle in the corner of my eye. They yank the needle out of my neck and my eyes shoot open. 

"Dinnertime." They say simply and go stand by the doors. 

I look around at the other people sitting, eating, looking only at their food. My breathing is regulated and I feel on the back of my head. I feel a few stitches and I drop my hand in my lap. I look down at the table and the menu is on the screen. I gently click on the option with mixed vegetables and baked chicken. I sit, feeling all of the pain coming back to me. I frown as I cant believe it is dinnertime already. How long was I in that meditiation room? Time goes by so slowly here. A robot wheels my food over and I take it, setting it down in front of me. I sit with my head down for a minute, trying to clear my mind as much as possible, and I eat slowly. I hear some commotion and a door in the far left opens. Five guards come through pulling a chain. Attached to the chain is,

Roman.

He's in bad shape. I take a deep breath and try to avoid the scene, but I cant look away. I eat slowly as I examine his damage. He's got a nasty gash under his chin, he looks like he's limping, his lip is busted and he looks like he hasn't slept in days. They sit his, chains and all, at my table. The guard comes to Roman's ear.

"If you dont control yourself in here we will make sure you dont see anything but the tip of your combat boots for the rest of your life you better believe that big man. We're doing you a favor bringing you in here. Now KEEP IT COOL!" He yells in his ear but Roman doesnt move. His guards stay closer to the table than mine. Roman does not touch the table, mostly because his hands are chained together, but also because he doesnt seem like he wants to eat. I get the urge to say something, but I dont want to get us in trouble. I blindly reach my head up to feel on my stitches.

"They got you too?" He says, his voice raspier than I have ever heard.

I look to him and he is looking down. "Yeah. I whisper.

INAPPROPRIATE CONVERSATION

"It's too bad I missed meditiation. I would have gotten my ass fried in there." He says, sounding more like himself now.

INAPPROPRIATE CONVERSATION

I smile and he meets my eyes. He looks so worn out. A small smile forms on his lips.

"They can chain me up like a lunatic, as long as I get to see you smile once a day, Im happy. Looks like I got lucky today since Ive seen you twice." He says, smirking.

INAPPROPRIATE CONVERSATION

"Roman stop. I dont want them to hurt you. I hate seeing you like this." I whisper.

We both wait for the monitor to yell at us and it doesnt. He grins, immediately holding his jaw.

"I think they dislocated my jaw." He looks at me as if he is about to give me some code. His lips start moving but he is silent. I focus on his busted lip and read his lips.

"I found your Mom." He mouths to me. 

I look into his eyes and he is trying to find my emotion, but Im masking it. I want to ask him where and when and how and a million things I have to say to her, but I simply nod and finish my food. I cant make out his expression.

"Give me some chicken and a loaf of bread." He yells at his guards. He looks at me. "To go."

I slightly frown and they bring out his food and help him up. Im begging him to stay with my eyes, though we wouldnt be having an appropriate conversation, but I dont want him to go. I hope he isnt mad at me for not responding. I meet his eyes before they yank him through the doors and he winks at me. I dont understand him at all. 

"Im done." I whisper.

The guards come and take me down the hallways towards my room. I look up as I am walking and there is a woman coming our way with guards. She meets my eyes and I gasp.

"Mom? Mom! MOM!" I yell and reach for her. 

The guards grab me and when I turn back to the woman, it's not my Mother. I frown. Whaat the hell? Why did I just? They take me to the door and push me inside of my room, slamming the door. I stand up and brush my pants off. I untie my hair to examine the stitches and I stand completely still.

Roman is sitting on my bed.

I stay completely quiet. They might be watching us.

He isnt chained either? He stands up and slowly walks over to me, getting in my face. He smells just as sterile as me. He is all stitched up, his gash in his lip has scabbed over and looks to be healing well. 

"Roman.." I whisper as quietly as I can.

"Shh." He puts a finger to his lips. "They cant see us in here, they cant hear us in here. We are invisible behind these doors. The bedroom is sacred, defiled." He says, his voice sounding normal, but huskier.

"What if they catch you?" I breathe heavily, feeling his heat transferring to my body.

He takes a step closer, barely any space between us, we are now sharing the same breath. He looks deep into my worrying eyes. I see no fear in his eyes.

"Then it would have been worth it." He whispers.

He slowly runs his fingers through my hair from the scalp to the ends and before I can do anything, his bruised lips meet mine. My eyes shut automatically as I feel his free hand wrap around my waist. My body cant take the feeling and it goes limp, I can feel myself submitting under his commanding touch. Our tongues dance, our bodies responding so intensely to one another and he picks me up, leading me to my bed. My hand snakes it's way around his broad shoulders and grips his tight bun. Before I have a chance to release his hair, I feel the spring from my mattress and I break the kiss quickly.

"Roman stop we cant do this. Even if we dont get caught it isnt right." I breathe out quickly, trying to make my point clear.

"What's wrong about it? We both want this." He tries to understand my sudden disapproval.

"I dont want this." I whisper.

His deep brown eyes bore into mine and he releases me from his grip.

"I dont think you know what you want Angel. You wanna know what I am? I am freedom. I am happiness, I am every desire and every dream you have ever and will ever try to obtain. But this?" he points to the curtained window. "This is conformity, this is misery, this is corruption and this is DEATH. You need to make a decision right now. Do you want life... or ... death?" He says, his voice ominous.

My mind is fuzzy as Im trying to figure out what he is talking about so I just stay quiet.

He drops his head and looks back at me with angry eyes.

"I will choose for you."

He pounds on the glass window and it intensifies when other people join in. The curtain quickly rises and I am brought back to the horrible image of last night. I cover my ears and close my eyes, rocking back and forth in the corner, trying to drown out the noises, but it's not use.

"AHHHHH!" I scream, trying to fight the noises.

I feel a hand grip my neck and I open my eyes. The room has changed completely. Im back in that hazy red room like when I first came here. Im strapped to the bed. The lady by the machine that I almost killed is taking notes, her face still partially covered.

"None of that was real. It was all in your head. After you failed the meditation they brought you in here to try to see what was mucking up your mind. Mostly that Samoan guy.." She says nonchalant.

I give her the evil eye. "How long have I been in here?"

"Six hours. After we stitched you up we sent you out in subconscious world. We tube-fed you so youre full. I dont know what kind of mess you're planning with that guy, but you need to end it. I dont care how attractive he is, Im telling you this to help you. Im the only person that can see this, you need too listen to what they say. Thats the only chance you have of surviving. Roman is no good for you." She warns.

I scoff. "Youre torturing me by their command and you expect me to believe anything you say?"

She takes off her face covering, revealing her identity to me. "You're different. I am trying to help you. Sooner or later, you will see that I am telling the truth."

 She motions for the guards to come get me and they take me to my room. I look around and it is normal. I lay on my bed, thinking about today. I cant take all of this everyday. I will go insane, if I havent already...

~~~.~~~