Relationship angst!!!

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It was already mid-day, and Obanai still couldn't find Sanemi.

Meanwhile, Sanemi had left his place long before with the thought of Giyuu in his mind.

He wanted to try to have just a little chat with Giyuu, eager to know what the other Hashira was feeling at the moment.

Don't worry Giyuu, I'll be there to see you soon. I love you, very much... I can't back down so easily...

His steps quickened with each step he took, his breathing fast.

On the other hand, Tanjiro, now sent out of Giyuu's place, had to walk back to the Butterfly Mansion, but he couldn't help but think about Giyuu, and what was up with him.

What did Shinazugawa-San do...? Wait! Are they falling apart!? N-No, it can't be... How silly of me to think that way! Haha!
He swallowed hard, walking away from Giyuu's place.

On his way, he met the concerned, disheartened Sanemi, completely lost in thoughts.

"Shinazugawa-San!?"

"...Kamado?"

"It's so good to see you! I was just thinking about you!"
Tanjiro exclaimed.

...

"Hah?"

Tanjiro took a deep breath in, calming himself down.

"D-Do you know anything about Tomioka-San!? He seems extremely hurt and angry, and I don't know why he's acting this way... But he sent me away too... It seems it was something involving you, so... Do you know what it is?"

"Wh-What do you mean, what did Giyuu do?"

Tanjiro sighed, explaining how Giyuu acted when he visited him.

Upon hearing how cold and distant Giyuu was with Tanjiro, Sanemi swallowed hard.

"I'll go talk to him."
He hurried to Giyuu's Estate, surprised.

Tanjiro nodded in response.

"GOOD LUCK!"
He waved at Sanemi from a distance.

What the heck are you doing now, Giyuu!?

Sanemi ran to his place, his breathing heavy.

Giyuu was still on the floor near the door, holding his head tightly, taking in short, quick breaths.

That's when he heard a knock on the door.

"Wh-Who is it...?"
He asked, his voice soft and broke.

"Giyuu... I-It's me, Sanemi..."
Sanemi stood there, hoping Giyuu would answer the door.

S-Sanemi...!?
Giyuu swallowed hard.

Though he wouldn't admit it, he felt relieved that it was Sanemi standing on the other side of the door but he was still angry at him.

He was scared of him as he didn't want him to see him in this pathetic state.

With no response, Sanemi decided to open the door himself, his eyes widening at the sight of Giyuu on the floor, struggling to breathe.

"G-Giyuu!?"
He rushed inside, kneeling beside him, his voice laced with concern.

"What the fuck happened!?"
Sanemi's hand reached out, hesitantly touching Giyuu's shoulder.

Giyuu flinched at Sanemi's touch, feeling overwhelmed by the sudden affection.
He pulled away, his eyes welling up with tears.

"G-Get away from me!"
He cried, burying his face in his arms.

"I hate you! I hate you so much!"

Sanemi recoiled, Giyuu's words piercing his heart like a sword. He hesitated, not knowing what to do or say. He wanted to comfort him, but he was afraid that Giyuu would push him away again.

"Giyuu... I..."

Giyuu let out a soft, muffled cry, his tears wetting his arms.

"Sanemi..."
He sobbed, his body shaking.

"I-I thought... You didn't care... about my feelings anymore... T-Tengen said... You said... that you d-didn't care... about what I said..."
He mumbled in between his sobs, barely able to pronounce words properly.

Sanemi frowned, unable to tell what Giyuu meant. He pulled Giyuu into a tight hug, ignoring his feeble struggles.

He knew comforting Giyuu was his first and foremost priority.

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry, Giyuu..."
His voice was low, laced with emotion.

"I never meant to hurt you... I just-"

Giyuu let out a strangled cry, struggling weakly to push Sanemi away.
"You d-don't love me at all, you liar!"

Sanemi's grip tightened, his voice firm.
"Look at me, Giyuu."

Giyuu reluctantly lifted his tear-stained face, glaring at him.

"...I love you. I love you more than anything."
Sanemi's voice was steady, his gaze unwavering. He looked deep into Giyuu's eyes, not losing contact even once.

As Giyuu locked eyes with the man who'd once been his everything, the past came crashing down like a tidal wave. His heart pounded in his chest, hammering against his ribs like it wanted out.

Everything about Sanemi, his face, his arms, his helpless smile... It all reminded him of how things were in the past... And how it had turned out into something terrible like this.

Sanemi cupped Giyuu's face, his thumbs gently wiping away the tears.

"I... I love you, so much..."
His voice cracked with emotion.

"You're my everything, Giyuu. Without you, I'm nothing."

The words... They didn't seem to sound true to Giyuu at all. His breaths grew shallow and rapid, his lungs seizing up as if squeezed in a vice.

Sweat beaded on his forehead, trickling down his spine. The room spun, colors blurring, and he held his head for support, breathing heavily.
He gripped onto his haori tightly, his knuckles white.

Sanemi's heart raced as he watched Giyuu. He looked at him with concern.

"Giyuu?"
As he saw Giyuu's pale face, he knew he was having a panic attack.

Giyuu's body shook uncontrollably, his eyes wide with fear. He gasped for air, but it felt like his lungs had collapsed.
The walls closed in around him, the ceiling lowering, trapping him in a suffocating nightmare.

"I... I can't... breathe... Sanemi..."

Sanemi immediately wrapped his arms around Giyuu, pulling him close and rocking him gently.

"Shh, it's alright..."
He soothingly rubbed Giyuu's back, but he found Giyuu try to pull away.

Giyuu's hands trembled violently as he tried to break free from Sanemi's grip.

"N-No, let me go! I... I don't need y-your help..."
He mumbled, almost pleading to leave him alone.

"Giyuu! Stop fighting me already!"
Sanemi frowned with frustration.
He looked at Giyuu's face, noticing how pale he was.

Giyuu's body shook, unable to stop. Tears streamed down his face as all his feelings and emotions seemed to run around, flooding in his mind.

He gasped for air, but it felt like there wasn't enough. He was drowning, suffocating under the weight of emotions He thought he'd dealt with.

But now, they threatened to consume him whole. And he couldn't...

...take it anymore.

"Giyuu!"
Sanemi held Giyuu tightly, not letting him go.

He looked at Giyuu's tear-stained face and felt his heart break. He knew Giyuu hated him way too much right now. But he also knew that he could never hate Giyuu, no matter what. Not now, not ever.

Giyuu let out a weak cry, his body going slack as he gave up fighting. He felt so ashamed, so vulnerable, and he hated Sanemi for witnessing his breakdown.

"G-Get out!"
He shrieked, his voice raw and broken.

"Just... get out! I can't... I can't look at you right now. You're... you're ruining everything. We were over, don't you get that? Why are you doing this to me!?"
He hiccupped, gasping for air in between his sobs.

What...?

Sanemi held Giyuu close, his arms tightening around him.

"No, I'm not leaving... I'm not leaving you alone like this."
He looked at Giyuu's face, seeing the pain and the despair.

Giyuu's sobs grew louder, his voice cracking slightly. He pounded his fists weakly against Sanemi's chest, his strength fading.

"Y-You... Why did you have to come back?"
He accused, his voice trembling.

"Why did I ever think I could move on from you? I hate you! D-Do you hear me? I hate you for going away, and I hate you even more for coming back!!!"

Sanemi's heart shattered into a million pieces as he listened to Giyuu's accusations.

He gasped softly at Giyuu's anger and hate towards him.

"G-Giyuu..."
He muttered, his voice gentle yet broke.

"Go!"
Giyuu screamed, pushing Sanemi with all his strength, despite knowing he wouldn't budge.

"J-Just go! Forget I ever existed, forget we ever loved each other... We were a mistake, okay? A beautiful, terrible mistake!"

Sanemi's grip on Giyuu tightened, and he buried his face in his hair.

"No."
He whispered hoarsely.

"No, we weren't a mistake. We were real. We were perfect. And I... I still love you, Giyuu..."

Giyuu's body went limp, and he stopped struggling. He listened to Sanemi's words, feeling his heart shatter into a thousand pieces.

"D-Don't..."
He whimpered softly.

"Please... don't say that... especially when you don't... mean it..."
He struggled a little but stood up, taking a few steps back.

Sanemi looked at Giyuu, his heart shattering even more.

"G-Giyuu, please... I really mean it, I love you!"
He stood up and approached Giyuu, his hand reaching out to touch his face.

"Please, just look at me... Talk to me."

Giyuu's eyes were filled with tears, and he took a step back, avoiding Sanemi's touch.

"I told you..."
He stepped closer again, pushing Sanemi away.

"...To leave me, alone."

Sanemi's eyes widened.
"B-But Giyuu-"

Giyuu didn't seem to listen to him anymore.

"We... We were nothing... Leave me... please..."
He finally managed to make Sanemi walk out of the door.

Sanemi clenched his fists, his anger seeping in.

"Oi Giyuu!"
He shouted, breathing heavily.

"You think you can send me away like this!?"

Giyuu turned around, his eyes wide with fear and anger.

"We were nothing! I already told you!Our relationship... It was nothing at the first place... It was just some attraction we both had for each other! That's it! There's nothing more to it!"
He slammed the door shut, leaning against it as his chest heaved with heavy breaths.

Sanemi gasped softly, unable to believe the words he heard, which hurt him even more.

"N-No..."
He muttered softly.

He was left speechless, his eyes widening with disbelief. He shook his head, clenching his fist tightly.

"My love for you... It was real... not some fucking stupid attraction."
He murmured, his heart aching painfully.

Giyuu stood there, leaning against the door, his heart pounding in his chest. He knew he hurt Sanemi, but he didn't care. He just needed to push him away, to keep him from getting any closer.

Sanemi took a deep breath, wiping his tears away. He turned around and left, his heavy footsteps crunching in the snow.

It was already late afternoon, and he knew it was getting late. He looked back at Giyuu's place one last time, but turned around again.

He knew he couldn't keep fighting for his love if Giyuu didn't feel the same way. He sighed, as his mind told him to give up already.

Giyuu, hearing the sound of the footsteps fading, slid down on the floor. He buried his face in his knees, hugging his legs tightly.

He couldn't help but think of Sanemi's words.

'My love for you... it was real... not some... attraction.'

Sanemi couldn't hold it in anymore. He let out a soft muffled cry, sniffling in between.

"...I-I guess everything about this... about us... It really had to come to an end... I should really..."

He paused, his breath hitching in his throat.

"...Just give up."
He murmured, making his way to his place quietly.

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It's my first time writing a panic attack... It was difficult but I hope I caught the vibe. Was it good enough?