it's been a while, hasn't it

•••

arnold: hey, look on the bright side, bud!

kevin:

arnold:

kevin: ...y'know, you're typically supposed to follow that statement up with what the bright side, uh, is.

arnold: oh crap i was hoping you had an idea i have no clue

•••

kevin, texting the group chat: i'm fuckin dying lmao

mckinley: god mood

arnold: same here bud

nabulungi: honestly? me too

kevin: no no i mean like

kevin: i'm actually dying. there is a knife in my chest.

kevin: the lmao was just habit

•••

pre-musical kevin: so? do i win? does everything turn out as right as right could be?

post-musical kevin:

post-musical kevin, very hesitantly: yes

(see? catch me making a joke out of the scene that made me cry so i feel better 👌😎👊)

•••

mckinley: i'm kinda seeing someone but i don't wanna tell you cause you'll be upset

poptarts: just rip the bandage off, bud :)

mckinley: it's kevi—

poptarts: —put the bandage back on. put it back on!!

•••

kevin, at two am: hey, hey, i just had a thought! what if really nervous people are just not accustomed to the way the world works because this is their first incarnation on the planet? and confident people are at ease with everything because they've already been reincarnated a bunch so they already sorta know the world?

mckinley: you're lucky i never sleep because otherwise i'd be really pissed with you

•••

kevin: i hope today is as wonderful as my ass

•••

mckinley: alright everyone, pay attention! i have an announcement, and i only have a minute.

kevin: what, are you in a hurry?

mckinley: not any more than usual, i just know you all have relatively short attention spans

•••

kevin, reading about the arthur thing: hey, a gay rat! i feel seen :)

•••

mckinley: kevin price. mormon extraordinaire, extraordinary mormon. great hair!

•••

arnold: i saw a girl carrying a hamster so i asked if i could pet it but it was actually a muffin so i'm gonna go jump off the nearest cliff now

•••

mckinley: how many movies has meryl streep been in?

kevin: uh,,,, at least two. i feel like there's more but i don't have any... any... well, to be honest any anything in my head

•••

nabulungi: sometimes when we disagree it feels like i'm arguing with the sun

kevin: oh, really? that's totally insane i am suPER CHILL ALL THE TIME—

•••

arnold: i cant stress myself it's bad for the baby

nabulungi, deeply confused: ..,.,,.,what baby??

arnold: me!! i'm the baby!!!! and i can't HANDLE this!!!!!!!!!

•••

kevin: sometimes i think i'm better than everyone else. and then i remember i am

•••

mckinley: i'm not gay! why does everyone say that?? you can be feminine and be straight. you can be into tap dancing and be straight. you can sleep with kevin price fairly regularly and be straight. you can wear pink and be straight. okay??

nabulungi: ...i mean i agree with you mostly but like

nabulungi: repeat that middle one again?

mckinley: ...you can be into tap dancing and be straight, you mean?

•••

kevin, after not sleeping at all: someone pass me the spaghetti snow

arnold: the what

kevin: the spaghetti snow. right there *gestures vaguely*

arnold: do you mean parmesan??

kevin, deeply concerned: who the fuck calls spaghetti snow parmesan

•••

arnold: we're screwed!

mckinley: hey, elder cunningham, no. i don't wanna hear that defeatist attitude! please be more upbeat.

arnold, trying vaguely to sound peppy: we're screwed????

mckinley: much better

•••

arnold, after smhd: oh my god guys, there's a snake right by you :O

kevin, sighing: please stop calling me that

•••

a muffled noise from kevin's jacket: attention all units we have a 10-80 in progress

mckinley: what's that??

more muffled noises: requesting immediate backup

mckinley: price, do you have a police radio in your pocket?? where the hell did you even get that????

kevin, panicking: no i'm just happy to see you

•••

arnold: so, if a guy likes another guy, he's gay?

nabulungi: maybe. but it's not just gay or straight. there's other things a person can be.

arnold, nodding wisely: like jewish

•••

kevin, unprompted: looks 👀 like we're alone 😓 ....... what would you do 😳 if i um 🙈 kissed you 😝☺️ would you pull away 😣 and break my heart 💔 or would you succ 👅💦 my face 😋

mckinley: are you on crack

kevin: yes

•••

kevin: i'm a badass motherfucker i don't need anyone >B)

kevin: *sleeps with stuffed animals*

kevin: *cant open jars*

kevin: *is deathly afraid of the dark*

kevin: *cries when he gets left on read*