Leonard and Mick scowled at the address in the professor's hand. They agreed to write it down, but neither really seemed as though they particularly cared to join the mission.

Atom glanced around at everyone, as he entered the address into a small keypad on his suit's arm. "So what do you think?"

"I think that's five minutes of my life I'm never getting back," Snart grumbled.

Stein blinked. "He just showed us the entire world in flames! You can't turn your back on that!"

"Observe," Snart told him. Then, he turned and walked away, heading towards the door that would allow him to get off the roof. Rory wasn't far behind him.

Atom nodded, as he watched them go, hands on his hips. "I think we can all agree the mission will go a lot smoother them gone."

"I haven't signed on yet," Blondie said.

Deserey nodded. "Me neither."

"And I'm not signing on at all!" Sporty Guy huffed.  

Stein frowned. He started to say, "Jefferson --"

"No," Sporty Guy, Jefferson, interrupted. "I'm not going off to die in some apocalyptic future. I'm staying right here in the present." He pointed down at his feet with a rough gesture, to make it abundantly clear. Then, he turned and walked away. (Though it was in the opposite direction the criminals had gone, leaving Deserey to wonder just how many doors were on this roof. How did everyone know where to go to get off? They didn't even know where they were a few minutes ago.)

"Let me talk to him," Stein said. He followed Jefferson.

Deserey glanced around at the others. Mr. Hall and Kendra were standing by the edge of the roof, away from everyone else, talking quietly to one another. She walked over, curious what they thought about this whole time travel business.

They seemed to be in the midst of an argument. Kendra had her arms folded over her chest, a deep frown on her face, as she listened to Mr. Hall.

"Two hundred six times," he was saying. "Savage has killed both of us, two hundred six times!"

"Yeah," Kendra shot back. "And I'm not too eager about making it two hundred seven!"

"Running away never solved anything," he reasoned. "And we've almost defeated him with help before."

"Almost, Carter. Almost," she repeated, her voice low, stoic.

Deserey was secretly happy that Kendra used his first name. Even if she didn't join the team with them, she hated referring to people by their last names. It was too official. Too professional. Professionalism was for family Christmas parties and and business trips.

Carter sighed, turning to Deserey as he spotted her approaching. Kendra turned to see her as well.

"Hi," Deserey said. "Sorry."

"No," Kendra shook her head. "It's okay."

Deserey shoved her hands in her pockets, as a cool breeze wafted over her, making her shiver. "So, I take it you guys are on the fence too?"

Kendra shook her head. She shifted her weight from foot to foot, brushing a strand of hair out of her face. Desrey frowned, noting how the pose made her look precious, like a doll.

"It's more complicated than that," Kendra told her.

"More complicated than meta humans running around all over Central City?" Deserey challenged.

Kendra paused for a moment. She titled her head to the side, looking thoughtful for a moment. "Touché."

Carter nodded. He went on to explain how exactly their reincarnations worked. (It wasn't as fun as Doctor Who made it look.) Apparently, during the Ancient Egyptian times -- in their first life -- Carter had been Prince Khufu (which Deserey thought was interesting. She was a bit of a history buff) and Kendra was a priestess known as Chay-ara.

Savage was a priest known as Hath-set, and he'd killed them, jealous of their relationship; but at the same time meteors filled with alien technology crashed down to the earth, giving them all powers. Carter and Kendra had lived through multiple lives, and in each one they were hunted down and murdered by Savage. (They did say, however, that they could use objects from their first life to kill him. Though, thus far, they had been unsuccessful in doing so, hence Kendra's unease about this mission.)

Deserey frowned, as she listened to their story. She understood very little of it; it was baffling to think about living thousands of lives. She could barely handle living one. Just tiny inconveniences, like some idiot making fun of her, had her ready to hang herself. Major stresses, such as paying off her mortgage, made her want to jump off this roof. She couldn't imagine having so many lives, so many memories stuck in her head. How insane they must have been from it all...

"You're right," she said. "That's pretty complicated..."

Kendra nodded. "So, you get why I don't think this will work?"

"You don't think you can actually beat him," Deserey said.

"We've been trying for thousands of years and hundreds of life times," Kendra said. "I don't see why this life would be any different."

Carter fumed slightly. Clearly, he had a different opinion than his wife -- er, girlfriend? What were they in this life?

Deserey looked back and forth between the two, taking notice of the tension among them. She guessed the stress of living multiple lives on top of being hunted like animals really put a couples' relationship through quite the turmoil. It brought to mind her own troubles with her ex husband -- the way he had grown tired of dealing with her troubles, the way he had eventually left, unable to cope any longer.  

They still seen each other now and again, when Deserey picked up/dropped off their kids from/at his place, but normally their visits with one another were brief because every time they met these days all they did was fight. It was difficult to handle most days, but somehow these two looked as though they could pull through. (They had been together for thousands of years after all.) Deserey couldn't fathom that sort of loyalty.

Everyone she had ever loved left her, quickly growing tired of her and her issues. In fact, some of her old friends had even wondered if she was faking her depression simply to get attention. All those times she had attempted, and failed to commit, suicide. Those nights she spent complaining about feeling numb, about not being good enough... It irritated her friends, pissed her family off. Now, she had no one. At least it felt that way. Anyone who was still left in her life would no doubt be leaving her behind soon, as well. She was a disaster, and she would destroy them right along with herself.

A heavy weight placed itself upon her chest, and Deserey felt as though she were sinking. Her head was becoming difficult to hold up; her limbs felt numb. She was sure that her lungs were filling up with liquid, drowning her, even though she was no where near the water.

Three hours ago, Deserey had texted her ex husband. It was a goodbye, a note. She had been expecting to be dead by now, but here she was...Alive.

She felt guilty for having caused him to undoubtedly​ worry. Not to mention, he would be extremely pissed when he found out she hadn't gone through with it yet. It was one of the many things that had drove them apart. There were moments, in which she hit an all time low.

When she got in those moods, it was extremely easy to make another attempt at killing herself. It seemed like the only escape, but he had grown exhausted from trying to keep her away from the knife. It wasn't easy to fight the darkness, and if given an option, most people would rather ignore it than take it on.

He was one of them. But Deserey had never really been a good actress. (Though she had never been much of a fighter either.)

"Well, I just remembered I have something I need to do," Deserey said. "But, uh, good luck figuring...this out." She gestured around them, insinuating the whole time travel mess. Then, she turned, walking past Atom and Blondie, towards the door that the crooks had left from earlier.

{~}

The images of the future flashed through her mind, as Deserey pulled her car into her ex husband's drive way. She couldn't get them out of her head. The others were warriors, heroes (or villains), battle warn. They were all use to seeing such things. Deserey, however, was not.

The images unnerved her, making her stomach churn wildly, like one of those water rides at the amusement parks. She remembered what Rip had told her. Those images were her future. Sure, the events wouldn't happen for another one hundred fifty years, but it still felt as though this Vandal Savage guy was personally attacking her. And that was a little hard to digest. All those people...Those were here neighbors. All that destruction...That was her home...

Deserey shook her head, forcing the images out of her mind's eye. It was too hard to think about. Glancing up at her ex's house, Deserey felt another form of unease. She knew it was a mistake coming here. She should have just gone back to her apartment, finished the job. But for some unfathomable reason, she had come here instead.

The images Rip had shown her stuck her head, stopping her from going home again. Stopping her from attempting to take her life once more. She couldn't understand why. All she really knew was that she wanted someone to talk her out of it.

It was funny, really. She didn't want to live anymore, but she couldn't bring herself to end her life. Every time she tried she either failed or chickened out. Life, she supposed, was a trap.

Still, she had, no doubt, already caused a load of drama and trouble for him tonight, sending him that last note/text. She felt guilty, bugging him once again with her problems. Deserey worried that he might feel as though she were just playing games with his heart, and that thought was much more unbearable than the burden of living.

Deserey sat in her car, staring at the front door of the house just a few feet away, trying to work up the courage to move towards it. She shook her head at herself, cursing at herself in her head. Deserey was about to back out of the drive, planning to simply leave him alone. She didn't need to make his life worse. Everything would be a lot better for him, for everyone, if she just went home and ended her wretched life.

But before Deserey could move, the front door opened, and she spotted her ex husband walking down the driveway towards her. He did not look happy.

Deserey groaned. She already knew this wasn't going to be a fun conversation. Coming here had been a huge mistake...

Still, she found herself getting out of the car, meeting him half way. He was a beautiful man. She had always thought so, even after everything that had happened between them.

His chestnut eyes drew her in, even if they were glaring at her in anger and, quite possibly, hatred; his skin was soft and rich, like caramel candy. Deserey would never forget the way his hands felt, when they touched her. She'd never forget the way she walked with the clouds, when her lips met his soft, pink ones. Her favorite thing about him, though, (at least physically) was his hair. Midnight black, fluffy, like a sheep's wool.

Every time she seen him, Deserey was reminded of just how much she loved him. Of how much she missed him. He had been the best thing in her life, always supporting her, loving her, even on her worst days.

Darryl had constantly reminded her how beautiful he thought she was. He always made her favorite meals for her, listened to her interests. He had truly been the best, but she had let him slip through her fingers. God, she missed him so much. How could she have possibly let him go so easily? How could she have driven him away?

She started to say something to him. "Darryl --"

He held up his hand, stopping her mid sentence. "Don't. Just...don't." He took a deep breath, letting out a heavy sigh through his nose.

"Why?" he asked. "Why do you always..." Darryl stopped a moment later, shaking his head. "I'm sorry. I don't mean it like that." He took his cell phone out, the text she sent him hours ago flashing in her face. "But do you have any idea what it does to me, when you send shit like this?"

Deserey opened her mouth to respond, but before she could Darryl gestured back at the house. "What it does to them?" Deserey glanced at the house, spotting their kids -- Anita and Daren -- peaking through the window at them.

"You can't keep putting them through this, Dez," Darryl said. His voice was hallow, broken. She felt her heart sink in the water that had flooded her chest on the roof. He was broken because of her. It was all her fault...because everything always was.

"I'm sorry," Deserey muttered, looking down at the ground. The gravel blurred, as tears welled in her eyes. "I'm so sorry..."

He put his phone back in his pocket, shoving his hands in his pockets, shaking his head. "I need more than that this time, Dez. I can't keep doing this. I don't want to keep explaining this to my kids! I don't know how. They think that they're not good enough for you, Dez. They think it's their fault."

Deserey didn't look up to meet his eyes. She felt as though she were being pierced in the heart with a knife. His kids. That's what he had said. His kids. Not theirs. Not hers. His.

They were hurting because of her. She was destroying them. Their family. Their home... She didn't deserve to be apart of it.

Darryl rubbed his hands along his face, blinking rapidly. He turned, like he wanted to leave, but he stayed put. "I'm not saying this to make you feel worse. I know it's hard, working through this. And I've tried to be there for you...I really did...I just...I hate seeing you this way. I can't stand it anymore."

He lifted her head up with his hand, making her look at him. She blinked back more tears, as she met his eyes. It was the same look he had always given her, the glassy look that always let her know he cared. It was gentle, full of warmth. Her heart had always melted when he looked at her that way. "I don't want you to kill yourself," he added. "Please, know that. But I think you need...to do something. Because whatever this is? It's not working..."

Deserey nodded slowly. She hesitated for a moment, before confessing about her chat on the roof top. Savage, the future, Rip Hunter, the super heroes...It sounded weird when she spoke about it, but on the roof Rip had somehow managed to make it sound much more normal. (It was just another thing she fucked up.)

Darryl nodded along as she retold the Time Master's story. His eyes lit up, as though it was a vacation instead of a dangerous mission involving an immortal psycho taking over the world in the future.

When she had finished, Darryl immediately said, "I think you should go. Get away for awhile. Clear your head. Who knows? Maybe it'll be good for you."

Deserey shrugged, unsure. "I don't know. I'm not an assassin, or a hero, or even a crook. I can't fight. I barely know what I'm doing with my powers. Next to the others, I'm nothing..."

She folded her arms over her chest, her hand gently falling against the sand pouch hanging off her hip; she didn't like thinking about the night she got her powers. When the Particle Accelerator exploded it ruined her life. Corrupted the one safe space she had. It turned her into even more of a freak than she had been before.

"So have them teach you," Darryl said. "Train with them. Learn how to be a hero."

Deserey still hesitated. She doubted she would be able to learn much from these people. Probably she'd screw it all up, just like she screwed everything else up. If anything, the mission would most likely go a lot smoother without her messing everything up for the rest of them. But Darryl looked so sure about the idea, so excited about the prospect. Deserey couldn't bare letting him down again.

So, she nodded. "Okay. Fine. I'll do it."

Darryl smiled lightly. "Good. I hope it does something good for you, too."

Deserey doubted it. She glanced behind him where their kids were still staring at them through the window. "What about them?"

"I'll tell them something," Darryl said.

She looked down at the sand pouch, playing with the strap of the bag. The last thing she wanted to do was leave them, especially after she had caused so much trouble for all of them tonight. But she knew Darryl was right.

She had to do this. She had to go. To find herself. "Will you tell them I'm sorry?" She hesitated for a moment, before adding, "Tell them I love them. Tell them they're the most important things in my life. They're the best things that have ever happened to me." She looked into his eyes one last time. "All of you are. No matter what happens. No matter what I've said or done in the past. I love you. All of you."

Darryl nodded curtly. "I will. And good luck."

The two hugged, and for a moment Deserey let herself reminisce. She could almost pretend he had never left her in the first place. They had never been broken. They were still very much in love, like the day he had asked her to marry him. She breathed in, letting his scent invade her nostrils once again. He smelled like cigarettes, but she didn't care. She loved it all the same. She loved him...

He pulled away much too soon for her liking, and her heart wrenched, as he turned and walked back into the house. When the door closed behind him, Deserey let out a choked sob. She knew it was stupid, but she felt as though she had just been shut out of her family's lives. Permanently.