oh my goodness gracious uncooked ramen noodles, this one hurt a lot to write, I would recommend bringing your sneeze paper along, and I'm going to go read the fluff ending again after this... I really hope you like it! you can play the song up top if you want, while reading, I'm not sure, completely up to you! as always please keep comments clean and Patton-friendly!

here are the warnings, just so nobody gets triggered.

warnings: Death, depression and isolation, intense grief, mention of trembling, and needles, as well as infections. lots and lots of tears. hardcore angst.

Logan:  

Logan walked into the hospital, as usual, with his book. Logan read aloud to you often, hoping you'd be listening, that his voice might be some sort of comfort to your form, even if he knew scientifically it was unlikely

he walked in to see the doctor poking you with needles a panicked look on their face. Logan raced up, asking what was wrong. and the doctor turned, looking at Logan with concerned eyes.

"it seems their brain is giving up function, its... not even really keeping them alive." the doctor said, hoping the meds would work, but like everything in angst endings, nothing helped. Logan nodded, tears streaming down his face as he held your hand, knowing you would never hold it back.

he needed some time to process this, as he had known this was always a likely possibility. he called Virgil and Patton to come over, and to bring his mini-safe. he finished the call right before tears flooded down his face. his fingers traced over your cheeks, knowing he'd never see the smile that always lit up his world

knowing that you were gone, at least in your brain. Virgil came in and so did Patton, Logan looking up at them, he let out a giant sob as Patton hugged him. why did you have to go hiking, he should have known you'd be allergic to the antivenom. despite everything was out of his control Logan blamed himself, Logan would always blame himself.

he opened your will, which he had insisted you both write, just incase and he found something that broke his heart, there was a letter for him, and the final instructions. they instructed you were not to be on life support, and the letter about how much you adored him.

Patton:

it would be ignorant to say Patton didn't know you were slowly leaving, he saw the way your heartrate got weaker and weaker every day. he was with you all the time, begging you to wake up, to just look at him once more.

he was with you in your last minutes, crying, but kissing your lips, for the last time, wishing you peace as you left. Patton was never the same after, he gave a heartwarming speech about you at your funeral, before throwing himself into volunteering and community service work.

he ignored pretty much all the sides, as he arrived home at night, and cried himself to sleep. Patton was becoming a shell of who he used to be, he couldn't bear with the grief of loosing you, if only he had been there one minute earlier this wouldn't have happened, you'd be snuggled in his arms, but he wasn't.

Patton sadly grew old, as time does. but he never healed, he couldn't bring himself to read your journals, or go to your grave. and as time passed, he watched the sides raise their families, pretending to be happy, but envying their lives. thinking of the life you wished to have with him.

Patton continued to grow old until he too join you right beside you, the graves telling about your lovers, and how lovers must reunite. you can bet that all his nieces and nephews visited his grave often, and the rest of the sides spread his story, how he lived with you, and how when you died, Patton died inside as well.

Roman: 

Roman couldn't find it in him to visit you, just seeing your weak body once... he promised himself that he would never deserve to see your face every again. not after he failed, the other sides begged him to visit you, but he couldn't bring himself to

Virgil told of how you were getting an infection, as it soon pulsed through your veins along with the blood, and how you didn't have much longer left, yet Roman couldn't bring himself to see you, Remus had dragged him there once, but he couldn't go into the room, so he fought remus and ran away.

Roman ran away from all his problems, and he kept running. he saw about your funeral over social media, he kept running. he married, a loveless marriage, as he tried to drown himself in activities and raising children, but his mind was never the same, and everyone could tell.

Roman never got past the guilt, and lived his life, his spouse knew and supported him but it was never enough. nothing would ever replace you, and nothing would ever be able to stop the guilt and shame he had, he regretted not visiting you, and he only got to see the other sides on his deathbed, as he was ready to meet you again.

Virgil: 

Virgil was visiting you like he always did, singing to you, singing your favorite song. he missed you ever second of every day, and he just couldn't bear the thought of you leaving him, but things don't always have a happy ending, especially in angst.

Virgil finished the last notes of the song before hearing the horrifying loud beep coming from your heart monitor, he screamed as nurses came running in. the rest was a blur as he watched through tears them trying everything they could but nothing worked and you were soon gone from this world

Virgil wanted to stay cooped up forever and ever but the day you were married you made him promise if anything happened to you, he would keep living, truly living. he said yes, and he knew he had to keep that promise. so using old videos of you two, Virgil found strength.

it took a long long time, with therapy, and finding help and support, but Virgil eventually healed. he got married and eventually had/adopted a child. he told them all about you, everything. he told his spouse about you, and all three of them visited your grave every year, Virgil always singing your favorite song. he didn't know you were watching, smiling at him from the clouds, singing the other side of the duet. 

Janus: 

Janus had hope at first, and you almost woke up, but then you got so much worse. your trembling from your unconscious body got worse and worse, and it was agony for Janus to watch, but he would never leave you.

he watched you in your final weeks, constantly leaving kisses. til one day, your last day. Janus  kissed your hand and slipped on the ring he'd been keeping for the past few years, as he whispered his wedding vows crying loudly. it was less and 3 minutes later when your heart finally stopped.

Janus locked himself away, giving pac-man away. the memories taunting him. he never searched for love again. he kept his social studies, and never talked with any of the sides. he always kept your pictures around. not following your wish for him to move on

he visited your grave every day, just begging you to come back, reading you poetry, and trying to deal with the grief of loosing you, he never was able to though, he never could find the strength to move on.

Janus grew older, but time never faded any pain he felt. he would be alone. that's just how it was, if he couldn't be happy with you in his arms, he would never allow himself to be happy ever again. and that's just what he did.

Remus: 

Remus knew this was a possibility, sitting by your bed, playing with your hair softly. he knew you didn't have much time left, so he just kissed your temple softly. holding your hands, slipping your ring back on your finger, as he saw the life finally fading from your body.

Remus cried for a long time, unable to carry on. he came to your funeral, but was unable to say much, he tried but ended up running out of the church, crying so harshly, why did it have to be you. why could he have been sick, and you could be alive, and you could move on, but life doesn't work that way.

Remus mourned for a long long time, refusing to open the letter. years went by, and Remus finally found himself ready. he got in his car, well... he actually stole Roman's car, but we need not get hung up on details. and he drove himself to your grave.

he sat down at your grave stone and told you everything, he laid a single flower at the foot of your grave before looking up at the sky.

"My gorgeous Panda, I'm finally ready to read your letter." he said, tears rushing down his face. he opened the letter and read it aloud.

my dearest, loved Remus.

I'm so sorry fate has decided it this way, I have always loved you and shall always continue to love you. I need you to move on, for me, for us. you need to be happy, that is the only thing I want. I want you to read the following:

my life changed the moment I saw you, Remus. you were the starlight on the darkest nights, and the sunshine in the brightest days. life was not complete without you. I adored every single second I spent to you, all the candy you stole, the way you bit the other half of cookies, the way you held me when there was a jumpscare.

I promise to hold and love you for ever and ever, even though I'm not physically there

to be with you in sickness and in health, 

through the good times and the bad

for richer or poorer,

til death do us part...

you are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make my happy when skies are gray, you shall never know, how much I love you, and I shall love you everyday

Remus. go on, please. for me, be happy. you shall always be my starlight. now go,

your dear Panda Bear,

Y/n.

Remus screamed and cried at the letter, not know how but Roman soon by his side holding him. he knew he had to go on, for you, so he did. he continued to create, he continued to laugh and love, it was never the same without his panda, but it was all for his panda, everything for his Panda Bear. 

I am not going to lie, Remus' one made my cry while writing it! thank you so much for reading and I hope you liked it! I shall hopefully have some more fluffy stuff out soon. again, thanks for reading and I hope you liked it! I do not own the song (obviously), but I thought it fit, and its one of my favorite songs. please remember you are loved and special!

have a fantastic day!

Peaceful Lavender