A/N: more DEMUS!!

T/w: angst I think?

[Deceit's POV]

I am feared. People cower away at the sight of me. They think I'm evil. I walk with a stern resting bitch face. No wonder. It's not just my expression. It's the giant mark on the side of my face. It's bright red and you can't miss it. I can't look in a mirror without crying. Not because of how ugly I look, I've always been ugly, but because of who it reminds me of.

~flashback~

'Deeeeee!' Remus yelled slamming the door behind him.

'Re-Re!' I yelled back, rushing down the stairs.

'I missed you, baby!' He threw his bag down and hugged me, picking me up and spinning me around. I shrieked and giggled.

'I missed you more!' I said kissing his forehead. 'You hungry?'

'I'm starving!' He said finally putting me down.

'Let's order pizza!' I threw my arms up.

'Hell yeah!' He said.

'Last one to the living room has to talk to the delivery guy!' I yelled, running away.

'No fair! WAIT UP!' he called chasing after me.

He was so much fun to be around...

~next flashback-

'Hey Dee?' Remus said, holding my hand. We were sat stargazing on the beach.

'Yeah Re-re?' I whispered.

'I love you.' He said, turning to look at me. This was the first time he said it.

'I love you too Remus. So much.' I said back, smiling. Happy tears were streaming out of both our eyes.

...and he really cared about me...

~Next flashback~

'Dee.' Remus said. We were back at the beach we both told each other we loved each other. It had been 2 years since then.

'Re-re?' I looked over at him and he was on one knee.

'I love you. More than words can describe. You're my everything. Each minute without you reminds me that you're worth more to me than my own life. I can't breathe without you. My heart tugs me back to you when I leave and everyday I think about how lucky I am to be with you.'

I was crying. This was so perfect.

'You've made me better. So please, do me the honour, and become my husband. Dee, will you marry me?'

'YES, YOU FOOL! ILL MARRY YOU!!'

'Thank god!' He mumbled standing up and slipping the ring on my finger. It was a yellow jewel with small diamonds surrounding it.

I pulled him into a long kiss. I was gonna marry Remus!

...but I was a fool...

~next flashback~

'Dee!' Remus stormed into the kitchen angrily.

'What?' I snapped. He was late home again. That was the third time this week!

'You're cheating on me?' Rage filled his eyes.

'What?' I almost screamed, ' Me cheating on you? That's ridiculous!'

'What's that supposed to mean?!' He carried on yelling.

'You're always late home! You don't even call! You scare the living shit outta me Remus! I love you SO MUCH! No, I don't cheat on you. I'm sat in our kitchen, crying my fucking eyes out, waiting for you to come back! So accuse me of anything! But I'm not a fucking cheat!' I screamed at him, throwing my arms around, warm tears spilling out my eyes uncontrollably.

'Dee...I'm so, so sorry.' He fell to his knees. 'I'm so sorry.' He kept repeating.

'Re-re...I'm sorry too.'

'Don't be, I'm an awful fiancé.' He said, pulling up his knees and wrapping his arms around them.

'No, you're not, just call next time.' I said pulling him into a hug.

We stayed there for a while, him crying into me as I stroked his back and hugged him. He mumbled apologies for the entire time, telling me about an awful co-worker who said Dee slept with him. I'd already forgiven him but he was just worried.

...I loved him and he loved me...

~next flashback~

'Dee.' Remus whispered.

'Re-re.' I whispered back. We were sat on the floor in the living room, our backs to the couch.

'I love you, you know that right?' He murmured with his head on mine

'And I love you too.' I lifted his head up and press the left of my face into the right of his.

'I gotta go to work Dee.' He smiled and let go of my hand, our faces still pressed together

'mk, I'm gonna watch a movie.'

'You're so lucky you get to work at home.' He laughed. He pulled his head away and called a goodbye when he closed the living room door behind him.

...but we didn't love ourselves...

~final flashback~

I got up after watching a movie and went to the kitchen to work. I realised my computer was in our bedroom. I walked upstairs and opened the door.

no. No. NO NO NO!!!!!

Remus. He was hung from the ceiling. He, he couldn't be...

I grabbed some scissors and started cutting him down. Eventually I got through the rope and he landed on the bed. I started doing cpr but I knew he was dead. He couldn't be.

HE COULDN'T DIE! I NEEDED HIM! HE CANT DIE!!!

I called 911

'911, whats your emergency?'

'MY FIANCÉ!! HE WAS HANGING FROM THE CELING! I NEED HELP!! HE ISN'T BREATHING!!'

'Sir, calm down...' The dispatcher continued, asking for my address and stuff and I answered. The ambulance came. They took him on a gurney. I rode in the ambulance. They took him into a separate place. A doctor came back.

They said they were sorry for my loss.

He was gone. My love. My light. My Re-re. He was gone.

I eventually felt a hot burning sensation in the side of my face. I stood up and ran to a bathroom. I looked in the mirror and a big red mark was growing on the side of my face.

The last place we touched...

He was my soulmate.

And now he was dead.

...we were bound to break...

~Present time~

I took all the pills out the packet so they would be easier to swallow all at once. I was finally going to be with Remus. They cremated him and I spread his ashes on the beach, our beach. He and I were going to be together again. I miss him. I can't live anymore. Not without him. I took the small white pills and a glass of water. Now for the waiting game.

The next thing was light. A bright blinding light.

Then a numb feeling.

Then thousands of feelings.

Then I saw someone.

My Re-re.

And then I knew I was safe.

In a better place.

...we were self-destructive.