Song: I'm just your problem from Adventure time 

tw: Mentions of substance abuse, mentions of ed, arguing ):

WHy is Roman so hard to write???Sorry if he's ooc

It was just like any other therapy session. Roman sat quiet doodling on his arm with a sharpie to make the time pass while Picani did his best to help him to no avail. Then he shifted the topic to something Ro never wanted to talk about.

"So your brother has told me some things about your parents. I won't say exactly what because therapist confidentiality but some of the things he mention made me worried to say the least"

The prince like boy begun to tense up and dragged the sleeve of his jacket down further to hide the markings without even realizing it.

"How would you describe your home life?" The therapist asked.

"Normal" He wanted to add something about how it was normal except for Remus exentries but he also wanted to keep it as short as possible. He wasn't allowed to talk about his homelife. It was a rule he had made to himself.

Picani raised his eyebrow thinking that it was a little weird that he actually answered and then he started to suspect that something was wrong. "That's a little vague don't you think. Say since we have another good 15 minutes on our hands how about you tell me about some good jolly ol memory you have from back then. Just to pass the time you know" He said with a kind smile. 

"No"

"Why not?"

"I was forced here because of my...unusual eating habits, not because of whatever you're talking about. So no I won't talk about something that doesn't matter" He crossed his arms looking annoyed as he muttered it.

"Correction. You are here because of your mental health problems and knowing why you have the problems in the first place is a good first step"

Roman went back to being quiet. He continued to draw different designs of crowns on his arms. Picani talked but he didn't listen. How could Remus do this to him. How could he tell such blatant lies. Their family was normal. No it was supposed to be normal but Remus had ruined it and then Roman had been ruined too. It was poison running through their blood infecting them so they could never be like they were supposed to be.

"Well Roman I have a suggestion" He begrudgingly looked up as Picani spoke "How about I tell you about this series I recently watched so we can have a little fun instead. Let the emotions whisk away a little. So it's called The umbrella academy, I dunno if you've seen it"

"...That's not animated" He said out of sheer surprise. Virgil had wanted to watch it with him because Gerard Way made it and the emo was going to watch anything he made. Roman didn't exactly fancy serious superhero shows but he had to admit that Diego was one unit of a man. Also he had gotten cuddles while watching it and he would do quite a lot to get cuddles.

"Yes. My husband watched it with me saying that the psychology is interesting and I must admit it is. You see the main conflict derives from the fact that all of the siblings grew up in a toxic environment. I think Luther and Klaus are the most interesting I must admit"

Roman gritted his teeth. The Klaus scenes had been unpleasant for him to watch to say the least.

"You see Luther was literally named nr. 1 by mr. Hargreeves who's their father. he's the golden child and it seems like Mr. Hargreeves had showed him kindness every now and then so Luther became desperate to do anything and change himself in any way his father wanted just so he wouldn't lose his approval"

Roman huffed sinking back into his seat. He looked at the Disney plushies on the bookshelf so he wouldn't have to look at Picani.

"Then there's Klaus. He was the scapegoat from the start. From what the show shows it doesn't seem like Mr. Hargeeves ever really showed him kindness. Unlike Luther Klaus simply gives up on winning his approval instead he starts lashing out and doing anything to at least get his father's attention" He concluded fixing his glasses "Sorry for rambling, I consider it very interesting"

Roman huffed. "If you're going to psychoanalyse me and my brother through some show you could do it a bit more subtle" He growled keeping his arms close to himself. "I mean Klaus is a drug addict. How much more in my face can you get"

"That wasn't my intention" Picani lied.

"Oh sure it wasn't. I am okay with sitting through these sessions but when you bring up my family. Yeah no. The family this school forces me to barely see. Only on weekends here and there and holidays. How can you even believe what Remus is saying over me. He has 3 mental disorders, He makes stuff up all the time!"

"Prince please sit down. We have all the time in the world to talk about this" Ro hadn't even noticed he had stood up.

"No. I am tired of therapy sessions. I'm tired of being asked the same questions all the time. I am tired of going to doctors check ups. I'm tired of being forced to eat all the time. I am tired of everyone worrying about my weight. I am tired of being subscribed pills and then taken off of them when they don't work. Guess what Picani I never even took them in the first place because I was afraid of getting addicted because my brother is a freaking drug addict! Why don't you try to figure out how that has affected me huh. Instead of going on about something that isn't even a problem"

"Okay well in what ways do you think I can improve our session" Picani hastily stood up holding his hands up slightly in an attempt to calm him down. "So I don't make assumptions anymore, what do you consider being the reasons you have anor-"

Roman slammed his fists down into the table. "I'M" Slam "NOT" Slam "ANOREXIC" Slam.

"Factually I am afraid you have been diagnosed with it and mild intrusive thoughts. How about we talk about something happy instead. Like disney. You like disney right"

"Stop saying that. I'm not...I'm not. I'm not sick enough to be. This is how I'm supposed to look. I'm just a prince on a quest to become better. To become good enough" He stared out into nothing as his hands made vague motions. "These sessions are stupid" He frowned turning towards the door "I'm not going to another one. Goodbye Picani"

"Wait Prince just wait a minute" He sounded serious, he didn't sound like the normal happy Picani. 

The therapist tried to go after him and make him change his mind but Roman ran away from him towards his room.

Remus was meanwhile sitting in his bed trying to take down one of the decorations he had hung up. It was a sobriety coin with the text 'clean 2 months' stamped onto it. He had gotten it from rehab which he went to after his first overdose. He had hung it up and written in black marker on the wall over it 'The future is still bright'. He had done it after he got out of the coma and decided to try and stay clean. Dee had absolutely obliterated his will to stay clean. Almost poetic since he was currently high.

On his wall there was also a few drawings he liked, some doodles, exactly 1 photo of his family (He had been edgy and scratched out his parents faces) and the different bracelets he had from different hospital stays. When a particular kind of thought got to loud and overbearing he liked to look at the bracelets to remind himself not to listen to them.

Suddenly the door opened with a slam making him flinch and wrap his green blanket tighter around himself..

"I hate you!" Roman yelled the moment he got into the room and saw Remus sitting in his bed.

He calmly turned around and looked down at him, replying. "Oh to what do I have the honor to have my prestigious brother talk to me?"

"How much did you tell Picani? Did you tell him about you know? About what..happened in October?"

"I dunno, Did I" He blinked innocently at him with a fake grin plastered on his lips.

When Ro half slammed his hand into wood frame of the bed he flinched once again. "Stop dancing around this and just tell me"

"I didn't" He mumbled while crossing his arms and looking away.

"Good" The prince breathed out feeling as his shoulders became less tense. "We don't want to give Picani any wrong ideas about our father being..abusi"

"Well maybe he is!" He growled digging his nails down into his skin out of frustration.

"It was a one time thing"

"A one time thing that made me overdose!" He pushed his knees up to his chest looking away as he yelled it out.

"It didn't make you. You choose. You choose to leave me behind when you were the only one I had" Roman grumbled while pacing around the room shooting his arms out every now and then to make his point more obvious.

"Real classy to make my suicide all about yourself. It's so irritating how you say that I'M the one always pretending like nothing just because of my medicine and yet you're the one living in a whole nother reality. One where our parents ever treated us well which they didn't. If they did mom wouldn't have put you on those stupid diets"

"It was just her way of showing that she cares about me. She didn't know" He insisted.

"Fuck you"

"What?"

"You literally just proved my point because if that's how she shows caring why the hell did that never happen to me. Why did they let me run away all the time and then when I got back they never even seemed worried about where I had been and they just yelled all the time and how can you still be..be loyal to them!" Remus exclaimed holding his hands out as if he was trying to make sense of it all.

"That's your fault. Clearly that happened to you because you were misbehaving or something" Roman looked down at his hands hanging by his sides smiling a little at a memory. "Sometimes she compliments me when I've been good enough. I think that when I become perfect-"

"Don't end that sentence" Remus gulped worried over what the other had just said. He sighed knowing that Roman didn't know any better but it still hurt seeing him act like nothing had ever happened, like everything had been normal. 

"For once you're right bro. We shouldn't be speaking of this made up nonsense. This has already escalated enough"

"It's not made up nonsense!" He yelled jumping down from the bed pointing his finger into Roman's chest.

"It's delusions coming from a delusional person" The prince bit of coldly.

"I'm. Not. Delusional"

"Oh sure suuuure. Because a non delusional person would definitely break Virgil's hand" The might have started to heal by now but Roman still wasn't over it especially since he still had to calm his boyfriend down after he had another nightmare about it happening again.

"I had good reasons for it!" The twin in green felt his blood start to boil just at the thought of Virgil.

"Like what?"

"Like....I don't want to hurt you by saying" Remus took a step back scratching at his arm.

"So it's nothing, good to know"

"Heh you probably don't know this since everyone always listens to you but everything you say being dismissed kind of hurts y'know" He took a step back dragging the words out to sound as salty as possible.

"Well you have no idea how much it hurts to be left behind over death without a second thought" Roman replied nearly covering his mouth when he realized what he'd said.

Remus stared at him and let out a short laugh before saying "You have no idea how it feels to choose death because you know no one will miss you"

The prince did a face palm letting the frustration he'd built up for quite some time out "I've tried so hard to save you from you and what did I get? Bruises when I tried to take the syringe away from you and help to not eat as long as I didn't say anything" He didn't even look at his bother as he said it but maybe it was good since then he would have seen his expression change into an angry one.

"Why would you even need to save me. I'm fine. You're just trying to play hero so you can get all the attention and praise like always" Remus said stomping his foot down into the ground.

"You're not fine"

"Neither are you, dickhead!"

"Did I say I was. No. But at least I'm trying to get better" Ro lied. Oh honey you aint trying for shit.

"It sure doesn't look like it. You're just waiting for the day mom and dad will come and tell you that they love you and that they're proud of you and then they will take you away in all your skeletal glory and then you can go and be your normal good family and you will leave me in some mental institution or something because I will never fit in with that perfect family picture because I am just so wrong"

"Maybe I would be fine if you had ever even tried to help me. Actually You could have at least tried sometime. Maybe tried to be a better easier to deal with son. One who wasn't at risk to die  at any and all times" Roman had unknowingly built up an avalanche of insults towards his twin and now he letting it all go. Same goes for the other.

"Yeah sure I'm just soooo sorry that I preferred getting high over watching my brother die. There was literally never any point in me trying. How could I the horrible demented bad twin Remus ever be on par with the oh so goodie two shoes Roman. Looking at you is like looking in a mirror and seeing all the things I will never be able to be. Roman with the perfect grades and friends and interests and weight"

Sorry I don't treat you like your perfect like all your little loyal subjects do

"Don't. Go. There"

"It's already too late to stop now" He said with a plastered on grin. "I mean you say that my problem has affected you, do you seriously expect me to watch you slowly kill yourself and not think anything about it. Roman with the great diet and great trendy clothes that were just big enough no one would notice his weight loss. Roman who is downright scary to look at. Roman who was always the great rule following son unless he was found spitting out food into his napkin. Roman who has an Obsession with being perfect because his parents kept telling him that if he wasn't he would be a disappointment just like his brother. Roman who just happened to get sent to the hospital after not eating for 2 weeks. But wait. You like when people think you're going to die, you think it shows your 'progress' so maybe I should do it more like. Oh look at the fat hideous Roman who no one likes. He always looks so disgusting when he eats. Does he never get enough food in him. Perfect example of an overweight pig"

"Just stop it" He yelled covering his ears.

"News flash moron you will never be perfect!" Remus said with fake joy in his voice doing jazz-hands..

"Stop. No no I have too I have too" He whimpered closing his eyes to get away. "Can't you just shut up"

"No. I won't. Isn't it ever your turn to be put down and hurt? You were never called broken or a bad influence or a mistake" Remus choked up on his own words. "He called me a mistake and I don't care that he was drunk, he still said it. And I know you heard him. How can you hear that and still think he's a good father? Unless of course you never gave a shit about me to begin with"

Sorry I'm not made of sugar am I not sweet enough for you?

"Of course I ca....wait a second now" Roman stopped when he noticed how red his twin's skin was and how small his pupils were. "Are you high?"

"Am I what now?"

"High"

"Hello" Remus tilted his head in confusion.

"How long have y-how did you even get the stuff" He asked rhetorically.

He moved forward and took his twin's arm trying to pull his sleeve up to see if there were new holes left by the syringe in his elbow. Remus gritted his teeth and pushed Roman into the desk making his back hit it harshly.

Is that why you always avoid me? I must be such an inconvenience for you

"This is exactly what I'm talking about!" Roman exclaimed. "I'm trying to help you"

"I'm clean okay. I don't need your help" Remus lied keeping his arms pressed against his chest while fiddling with his hands. "Sorry" He added quietly hoping he hadn't pushed to hard. He wasn't used to how light his brother had become.

Roman started laughing while pulling his own hair. "Oh this is great. Great great. Just fantastic. I'll be sent of to the socials because I apparently have bad parents or really because you're oversensitive. While you get sent of to the morgue"

He sank down to the floor while continuing to mutter to himself.

"You know what. I'm sorry that I exist. That I was ever born in the first place because clearly I haven't been anything but a problem to you. Remus the problem we don't talk to our relatives about. The mistake we've given up talking nicely to. The thing you are so bothered by you have to send him away. To 'specialist', rehab, this stupid school. But really I should be glad shouldn't I. I mean here there's at least 1 person who would care if I disappeared and it sure as hell isn't you!"

I shouldn't have to justify what I do, I shouldn't have to prove anything to you

"I woul"

"Liar. You're just using me not to eat" He stomped his feet into the ground thinking back to what Dee had told him.

"I liked the old you better" Ro huffed while frowning.

"Old?"

"Yeah old you. Can you really not see how you've changed?. I've watched you die! Twice!" Roman nearly shouted shooting his arms out.

It's like I'm not even a person am I? I'm just your problem

"At least I die quickly instead of forcing you to watch me slowly become a corpse!" The boy in green replied while frowning.

"You always do this. You always turn it against me when I actually try to care about you" Ro tried to calm down not wanting the argument to escalate further but he couldn't stop his frustration from seeping out.

"Soooo you're saying you have to force yourself to care about me. So I was right about you not caring. Great...great I'll just" Remus half laughed it out breaking a little on the inside.

"That wasn't what I meant" Roman blurted out regretting what he'd said.

"I'm going alright" He said it already on his way out.

"To get even more high I assume" He snarled under his breath.

"No, to get a lobotomy at the local sex cult. Of course I'm getting high and it's your fucking fault" The sound left by the door slamming echoed through the now nearly empty room.

That's it. The split between them grew. They can't recover from that now. All they could do was move on further and further away from each other.

Late at night he returned high as a kite. He crawled into Roman's bed snuggling up against his side waking the sleeping boy up with his horrendous smelling breath. "He cheated on you" He mumbled.

"What?" Roman asked assuming he was just spewing random stuff.

"Virgil. He cheated on you. Forced Dee to kiss him" Remus had his mind set on one thing and one thing alone. To hurt his brother.

"It's not funny rat face"

"It's true. Nearly killed him with a hammer for you"

"No...no he wouldn't. He likes me, He actually likes me. Why would he no no. Tell me you're joking. Tell me it's just a sick joke"

"I'm sorry" He held out his arms "Truce?"

Roman didn't respond. He silently leaned into the hug staring out into the darkness with a blank expression as tears started to roll down his cheeks.