(I have fully embraced calling Remus, Dukey, because it is hilarious and makes sense.)

Scenario 1:

You had just found out that your boyfriend cheated on you. You were upset but he had come begging to you, asking you to forgive him. You went to your best friends, Remus and Roman, for help on the matter. You told them what happened and Roman had give you some good advice. "He doesn't deserve you! If he doesn't treat good by now, you're gone." You smiled and wiped the tears from your eyes. "Thanks Princey..." Remus smiled and wrapped his arm around your shoulder. "Now... Go chop his dîck off!" "No.... Remus, no..." Roman sighed quietly. But it made you laugh. "T-thanks Dukey...." You thanked him as you wiped your eyes. Continue....

Scenario 2:

Remus, your boyfriend, had told you that he had a surprise for you. Said something about something new about his outfit. You were a little excited to see what it was but he hadn't showed it all day so you kinda guessed he forgot so you kinda forgot about. Until the next day, you were doing (hobby) when Remus appeared out of nowhere. "(Weird nickname)! Look at my àss!" You just sighed, thinking nothing of it because he always was asking weird requests like that. "Not right now Remus, I'm busy." He whined loudly and kept his butt facing you. "Just look!" You sighed quietly as you looked up from your hobby and looked at his butt, causing you to almost bust into laughter at the words on his butt. "Oh my god! Remus!" You shouted as you laughed, covering your mouth. Right there on his butt were the words "Art thou nasty". He smiled widely as he faced you. "I'm glad you like it!" He said happily as he sat down next to you. Continue....