Warning: bullying and mentions of panic attacks

Have you ever had that one friend where you missed the opportunity to ask them that one question: 'Do you like me?' Have you missed the opportunity to be with them? Held back by the chance that they might not like you back? Admire them from afar as someone else takes over their affection? Well, that's what's happening to Roman. Despite being the romantic, egotistical prince, Roman couldn't ask out the one friend that caught his attention for fear of rejection.

Roman didn't know how it happened, or when it started. All he knew was that he was crushing on his friend, the emo of their quaint little group. Roman had tried to ignore it at first, but he eventually gave in and accepted that he had a crush on Virgil. They didn't fight or go at each other, their friendship consisted mostly of fun banters and using catchy nicknames.

"Greetings my Chemically Imbalanced Romance!" Roman hollered as he walked up to the emo that was waiting at the bus stop, early as always.

"Hey Princey, did you see what I was talking about?" Virgil asked as he put his headphones down to rest around his neck, it was a sign that Roman was really special to Virgil if he took off his headphones. Roman rolled his eyes. Virgil had him watch Cinderella again to make Roman see how Virgil interpreted the dark messages, Roman, being the noble one, still saw the same good message: believe in your dreams and, one day, they will come true.

"No." He flatly told Virgil, who gave him a deadpan stare.

"Of course you didn't, you're the noble Roman who always rescues damsels or...is there a male pronoun for damsels?" Virgil pondered, they both decided to asked the internet.

"Damo...damoi...seau? Damoiseau? Is that how you pronounce it?" Virgil turned to Roman, who shrugged in response. They both looked at each other for a second and then started laughing, it could've been that Virgil and Roman forgot what they were talking about, but, truthfully, it was over nothing at all.

Roman thought Virgil didn't have a crush on him, the way Virgil acted around Roman made it pretty clear to him that Virgil was uninterested. That was a mistake.

Virgil had started to like Roman in seventh grade. How could he not? Roman was talented;

"Virgil! Virgil! I got the lead! I GOT THE LEAD!!" Roman squealed as he bounded up to Virgil and jumped up and down a few times.

"No way, Ro, that's amazing!" Virgil praised in the most enthusiastic voice he can muster, considering his usually defeatist attitude.

Virgil, who's on stage crew, watched from the side as Roman belted out the lyrics. The day of the show came and Roman was doing amazing. Virgil sighed and leaned on the broom he was holding on to, then he realized what he was doing and snapped back to work and reality.

He was cool and did what was right;

"Can..c-can I please h-have my sk-sketchbook back?" Virgil didn't look them in the face, he didn't want them to see the tears building up in his eye-shadowed eyes.

"Aaaaaand why should we? You're clearly not gonna do anything." Virgil flinched as they laughed at every drawing that he did after they opened his sketchbook, throwing insults. He felt like he was suffocating as he tried to hold back the tears, his breathing started to become labored. An anxiety attack was starting.

"He might not, but I will." Virgil felt light as he heard Roman's booming voice. He looked over at Roman and started to wonder what he was thinking. How much was he mentally complaining about Virgil being such a burden and needing saving? Roman chased them away with a pretty sharp prop that was used in Roman's last performance and comforted Virgil. Through Roman's comforting words, Virgil relaxed into him.

And he was so confident with everything he did;

Virgil knew all of Roman's lines. Don't look at him like that! Virgil helped Roman practice his lines, so you could imagine the exasperation Virgil was feeling when Roman hesitated for a split second, then said something entirely different. Virgil sighed in relief as the scene played out alright and there were no other mess ups, the entire audience bought it.

Virgil knew he shouldn't though, because look at him, he's a mess. Who loves a mess? No one. He had to deal with this for four years, but then, a new kid arrived in tenth grade.

The new kid was cool and sassy and very confident. He flirted with just about anyone and gives great advice, he managed to fit into their little group. The new kid was named Nick, it made Roman's blood boil and Virgil's heart flutter at the thought of him. Virgil had become smitten with Nick and Roman didn't like it, watching Nick smile flirtatiously at Virgil, who would blush, and lean in a little into Virgil's personal space.

Roman knew he should have done something, said something, instead of just pinning, but he didn't. Roman felt like he couldn't breathe as he would always watch the interactions between the two, it made him sick. But it only got worse when Virgil announced that they were dating.

"Guys..I-I, uh, have something to tell you." Virgil said after he sat down next to Nick at their lunch table, he nervously shifted in his seat as he secretly held Nick's hand under the table and looked at Logan, Patton, and Roman's expectant faces.

"We're dating!" Nick cut in and he lifted their intertwined hands from underneath the table. Patton squealed, Logan nodded in satisfaction and said, in simpler terms, not too much PDA, and Roman forced a smile as he felt his heart figuratively shatter.

Virgil had given up on the hope that Roman will like him for who he is, so he decided to take a chance with someone who will.

Both are happy now; a loving husband and good jobs and homes, life couldn't be much better. Their friendship changed after both of them got into relationships, it seemed more awkward and their banters would get a bit intense. Roman and Virgil would sometimes lie awake at night, thinking how differently things might have been. Asking themselves the question that we all seem to ask ourselves at one time or another.

'What if I had said something?'

1085 words
This really sucked, I'm sorry! I'm not sure what's going on with me, but I tried doing this and possibly failed. I'm sorry for not posting, I've been stuck for a little while. But it's up, so I hope you enjoyed it.

Love you all~
Xxx