Warnings: jealousy, logan is upset/sad/angry?, hurt/comfort, logan is oblivious about his feelings

Idk how to write janus but eh why not wing it

Prompt 10: Love realization + prompt 11: kisses

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For almost three months now Roman and Janus had been dating, a fact that did not escape even Logan's notice as the two of them were so very obvious about their feelings.

It did seem that they tried to at least not parade their relationship in front of all of the others (or, at least Janus did not, Roman however was another story), but Logan felt like wherever he would turn in the mindscape he would find Roman and Janus together.

It was constantly him walking into a room to see that the couple was already there, usually with Roman having an arm around Janus, or they were holding hands, sitting in each other's laps, sharing a blanket on the couch, debating over disney and musicals in the evenings, Roman carrying Janus in his arms when the other was being stubborn about something, them sharing quick kisses as they drank their coffee in the mornings, Roman turning incredibly cuddly when he was tired and clinging to Janus, them full on making out in the living room more than once when Logan went downstairs for a glass of water.

It made Logan's stomach churn and his chest feel hollow. Their presence and all their little displays of affection made Logan have to leave the room. He had never been much for romance, in books or on tv or seeing couples around him, but this was worse than usual. Logan hadn't known romantic gestures really made him as uncomfortable as their relationship did.

Virgil had helped him with a new vocab card: PDA, it said and often he had to restrain himself from flashing it to them. Only once had he caved.

No one else seemed bothered by their relationship, not like Logan was. Patton was delighted for them, cooing when he saw them being all cutesy together. Virgil would tease them, mostly Roman, and his friendship with Janus seemed to improve as he was more accepted into the group. Remus, well, he was Remus after all, and would be making inappropriate comments about what the two were up to behind closed doors that made Roman blush and stutter and Janus roll his eyes in fond exasperation.

Logan was not much for feelings and emotions, but he felt like he was in the wrong. Their relationship shouldn't make him feel such things. It was irrational and Logan hated not being logical. He should be happy for them, happy that Roman and Janus were so happy together. Logan liked them, he would consider them both his friends.

Maybe the ache in his chest when he saw them was guilt, because he sure felt guilty about how their relationship made him feel, what kind of friend was he?

"Roman, put me down." Came Janus' voice from the stairs. Logan glanced up from the book page he had been staring at for the past half an hour without reading a word, seeing Roman coming down the stairs, carrying his boyfriend in his arms. Janus' sounded annoyed at the situation he found himself in, but the fond look on his face betrayed his real feelings as he clung to the creative side's shoulders.

"Now, why would I do that when you look so cute in my arms?" Roman replied, reaching the bottom of the stairs and walking towards the couch that Logan was already sitting on. Janus' human side of his face flushed at his words, and then he squeaked in surprise and offense as Roman threw him on the couch.

"Roman!" He exclaimed, holding his hat that had nearly fallen off of his head. The creative side laughed and joined his boyfriend on the couch, pressing a kiss to the shimmery scales on his cheek. Then Roman looked up at Logan, who was sitting a mere two feet away from where the other two had chosen to place themselves.

Logan quickly looked down into his book again, forcing himself to concentrate on the words, even as Roman came up close, looking over his shoulder.

"What are you reading?" He asked, his arm coming to rest around Logan's now very tense shoulders. He could barely see the words on the page and even less remember what it was about or what the book was called.

"Um." He said, then showing Roman the front of the book so that he could read the title himself. He swallowed, wondering how long it was that he had been thirsty, his mouth felt dry.

"Do try not to smother Logan, dear." Janus said, giving his boyfriend an unimpressed look before meeting Logan's eyes with a small smile, apologetic. And it really did not make any sense how his chest ached at that moment.

"Aw, you jealous? Upset you're not receiving my undivided attention?" Roman told Janus, leaning his head on Logan's and since when was it so warm in here? The only thing worse than seeing them being all affectionate out in the open was when they somehow involved Logan in it. He would really appreciate it if they avoided him entirely, it felt like sometimes.

"Not at all, you give me far too much attention, please give some of it to Logan, but make sure he can breathe." Janus said, sticking a foot out to nudge Roman's leg, sending Logan another look that he really could not decipher. There was something in his eyes, something beyond Logan but that still made his heart beat pick up speed.

It was almost as if they flaunted their relationship whenever Logan was near. Which was also illogical of him to feel, but they really wouldn't ...involve any of the other sides in their discussions like this. Logan kept staring into the pages of his book, pretending not to listen to their conversation and like his book was terribly interesting.

"Anyway, I wanted to ask if you wanted to watch a movie with us? The other three are busy so we were planning to have a movie night." Roman then said, finally retracting his arm from around Logan's shoulders, because it felt as if he couldn't think properly when Roman was practically leaning onto him.

"Oh, I'm not sure-" He began, already planning to escape to his room to work for the rest of the night as soon as the opportunity presented itself.

"Please?" Roman interrupted him, pouting. Logan's eyes quickly flickered over to where Janus sat. He didn't want to have to witness their affection war, and neither did he want to intrude when they were spending time together.

"We would enjoy your company." Janus said, sounding more sincere than ever before. But then again Logan had never been very good at understanding sarcasm, lies, or jokes.

"Alright then, I will stay." Logan said anyway, because there was something in him that, for whatever reason, really wanted to stay. Yet another thing that made no sense. He closely watched the other's expressions, ready to see disappointment or relief or anything. Roman of course grinned at his reply, and Janus did not seem bothered at all.

However he was absolutely not prepared for Roman to lean in and press an enthusiastic kiss to his cheek. Roman doesn't seem to think twice about it, he only excitedly leaped up from the couch, conjuring up several dvd's and looking through them quickly to find the one he wanted to watch first.

Logan's face felt like it grew twice as warm in a tenth of a second and he realized, as Roman sat down next to Janus again, that he entirely forgot how to breathe for a moment. Logan stared at the screen where the movie was beginning to play, careful not to as much as glance in Janus and Roman's direction. He didn't even want to know what Janus thought about Roman kissing Logan's cheek.

They watched Mulan at first and it took barely ten minutes before Logan glanced over and saw that Janus was lying down, head in Roman's lap. Roman played with his hair throughout the entire movie while enthusiastically singing along to every song.

Janus at least stayed quiet, enjoying a movie the way one was supposed to when watching with other people. Logan barely paid attention to the movie, wouldn't have been able to recall the plot if he hadn't seen it millions of times before. But he did know that Janus had had a tiny smile on his face during the whole movie, his expressions so much less guarded than normally, all those emotions that Logan was so bad at shining right through as Janus looked up at Roman with fondness and adoration written all over his face.

The next movie starts, and Logan isn't even sure what movie it is, too caught up in all his confusing thoughts and feelings.

Halfway through the movie he makes the mistake of looking to the side, eyes falling on Roman who's leaning down, sharing gentle kisses with Janus who is still with his head in Roman's lap. Roman's hands are cupping Janus' face carefully and Janus has a hand tangled in Roman's hair, their lips pressing together in slow, soft kisses that seemed far too intimate for Logan to see.

He felt like he was somewhere he wasn't supposed to be, intruding on an evening that wasn't his to be a part of, but he couldn't take his eyes off of them. The achingly empty feeling in his chest is present like never before and Logan really doesn't understand why his eyes are stinging as if he needed to cry.

"Logan?" A voice said, and Logan flinched as Janus' voice rather forcefully reminded him of where he really was. He blinked, swallowing thickly as he noticed both of them looking at him, feeling so incredibly awkward and uncomfortable at having been caught looking at them.

"Are you alright?" Janus asked, not at all what Logan had expected him to say.

"I'm- I'm quite alright, thank you. I just realized I'm really tired and I think I'm going to head to bed." Logan said, making a move to get up and flee to his room where he could get some time to think things through and maybe finally understand what was going on with himself lately, but Roman reached out for his arm and pulled him back onto the couch.

"You really want to try such an obvious lie when you're speaking to the side who's responsible for almost all of Thomas' lies?" Roman said, looking entirely unimpressed. Janus said nothing, but it was clear to see that he didn't believe Logan for a second.

"You look like when I dropped the last jar of crofters on the floor." Roman added, a mildly concerned expression on his face. Janus sat up, moving past Roman to sit in the space between Logan and Roman.

"Do we make you uncomfortable?" Janus asked calmly, and Logan's eyes widened at the shock of how easily Janus could apparently read him. There's hurt flashing in Roman's eyes for just a moment, Logan isn't sure he even saw it.

"I-" Logan considered lying again at first, but quickly realized there would be no point, not with Janus present, and he curled in on himself slightly, arms crossing protectively over his chest, "...I'm sorry, I don't- I don't know why."

"Oh." It slipped from Roman's lips and there is definitely hurt in his expression now, making Logan feel even worse about this entire situation because he really doesn't want to upset them.

"There is no logical reason for it, you are my friends and I should be happy for you but I'm not and I do not understand it. I'm sorry, but everywhere I look the two of you are just... being all affectionate and PDA," Logan conjured up his vocab cards, showing them the newest one, "it just makes me feel- I don't even know. Weird, uncomfortable."

The confession did not make him feel any better, and not Roman either, by the looks of it. But Janus had a hand on Roman's arm, keeping him back, a thoughtful expression as he regarded Logan and his words.

"I think you're lying to yourself. You might not have realized it yourself, but you're lying to yourself. How are you really feeling?" Janus said, Roman furrowing his brows and looking between them. Logan blinked.

"What? How I'm really feeling?" He said and Janus nodded encourangly. Logan stared dumbly at the two other sides for a moment, watching as Roman reached to pause the movie that was still playing in the background, then he rested his chin on Janus' shoulder, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend's middle. It looked like such a small but comforting thing, and that weird uncomfortable feeling in his gut made itself present again.

"It's difficult to explain, I feel kind of... sad, I suppose. It feels wrong to see you be all affectionate, not because I dislike the thought of the two of you being together, you deserve each other, and if I could stop the weird way my chest will ache when I see the two of you together I would, but I can't, so maybe I should just stay away from you both, I do not want to ruin anything for you." Logan rambled, not feeling like he was making himself understood in any way, because his thoughts were all jumbled up.

But Janus and Roman shared a look, that way someone would when they understood something, and Roman leaned in and kissed Logan's cheek for a second time that evening. He thought his heart might have actually skipped a beat at the feelings of Roman's soft lips against his cheek, again, and it was too much and too little.

"When I did that, did those feelings get easier or more difficult to deal with?" Roman said as he pulled back, and Logan sat silently for a long while, too many thoughts running through his head and slowly but surely pulling him towards a long overdue and terrifying realization. The small and hopeful smile Roman shared with Janus felt entirely wrong, given the situation.

"Both, somehow." He admitted and his entirely unhelpful mind finally found itself asking how he would feel to have one of the two sides in front of him actually, properly kissing him.

It sounded like torture, which was releiveing only for a second until Logan realized that he thought so simply because it would hurt so much to get a taste of what it was he actually wanted only to then be deprived of it. Which forced Logan to finally realize what the two sides in front of him had clearly realized before he did.

"...I've got feelings for you." He said slowly, in abject horror, staring at the paused screen of the movie, refusing to look at the other two because he didn't want to see their reaction to Logan's admission. They had each other already, and here he was, intruding on that.

"I've got feelings for both of you and I didn't realize and seeing you together..." That twisting feeling in his stomach and the aching empty feeling in his chest, that was jealousy and pining and, oh, for being the smartest side of them all he was so stupid.

"Logan," Roman reached out and placed a grounding hand on Logan's arm, somewhat stilling his spiralling thoughts, "we've got feelings for you too. In fact... we've talked about the idea of us three all being together but we didn't think you liked us, since you've seemed to almost avoid us lately-"

"That's not the point, Ro. Logan, since we were clearly wrong when we assumed your feelings we might as well ask, would you like to be our boyfriend?" Janus asked, his words making Logan finally meet his eyes.

This was all happening so fast, Logan had barely realized he liked the other two, and yet the answer was easy.

"I think I would enjoy that." Logan said quietly, receiving the immediate reaction of Roman grinning widely as he moved to Logan's side, almost effortlessly lifting him up in his arms. If Logan wasn't already a blushing mess he would be as Roman set him down surprisingly gently between the two.

The movie was started again but now Logan sat in between his boyfriends (boyfriends!), Janus having laced his fingers with Logan's, both of them leaning against him.

Later they would talk, discuss their feelings and the relationship that they now found themselves in, but for now they watched the movie, Logan distracted through the last half too, by Roman falling asleep against his shoulder and Janus pressing kisses to his fingers.

He could get used to this.

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Written: 8th & 9th March 2021
Published: 9th March 2021
Words: 2778

Fuck, the word limit- idk if being almost 800 words over the word limit is alright but here....

Also i wrote 98% of this between 10pm-2am and it was a little rushed lol

Ok next time i promise i will keep under the word limit im sorry ghsdgds