Not requested.

Ship: Past romantic Analogical, romantic Prinxiety

Category: Angst

Warnings: Suicidal thoughts, mentions of death

Summary: Roman always knew he'd go too far. His friends hate him now they're broken up, and he can't stand the cold in his bones much longer. Thankfully, Virgil comes looking for him.

Also, this is a whopper of a chapter.

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A gentle breeze caressed Roman's auburn bangs, curling around his socked feet. It was peaceful, only the fading blue sky stretching for miles above him, the city skyline gleaming in the last golden rays of the dying day. Roman liked that. He also liked the warmth that soaked deep into his bones, heating him from the inside out. Not the kind of heat like an unbearable summer's day, the kind that made you want to shed your clothing and take a dip in the lake. No, it was the kind of heat that chased away the chill of autumn and warmed your shivering fingertips. Roman enjoyed that type of warmth. He'd been anything but warm in the past few weeks. Warm and calm and peaceful.

If he concentrated, he could still hear the faint sirens of police cars, the murmuring of people inside the building behind him. It was annoying at first, all those people crowding the windows to get a glimpse of him, the pedestrians stopping on the street below to gawk. One brave soul had attempted to climb on the beam after him, but quickly ducked back inside after Roman's shoe went flying towards them with all the strength he could muster. He'd watched his shoe take the long plummet to the pavement below, and wondered idly if it hit someone. He knew terminal velocity should save them from being killed by his shoe, but his falling body would definitely kill someone on the way down. He was relieved when the police showed up and blocked off the area.

The officer had shown up on the floor shortly after that and talked everyone away from the window. Then the officer had tried to talk to Roman himself, about wouldn't his family miss him and wasn't there so much he had left to live for?

Roman had laughed so hard he almost slipped off the narrow ledge, causing the officer to back down before causing him to fall. So now it was quiet and peaceful and warm. Some naïve part of him hoped death would be something like this, but being realistic, he knew it wouldn't be.

It really sucked when everyone around him seemed to be dying. His parents, Patton's little brother, Remy, his drama teacher, Declan, and even the school counselor, Dr. Picani. They had so many things they should've done, so much potential.

At least he didn't have too many regrets. Well, a few. He felt bad about Virgil and Logan breaking up. It was horrible to see his two friends so distant suddenly, and even more so to receive glares in the hallways and discreet shoves from people. Did he spend too much time with them? He was invited every time, but it seemed like he was just pushing them further apart. When they finally broke up, it was somehow Roman's fault. He didn't know how to apologize, how to fix what he'd done.

Removing himself from the picture entirely would help in that department, anyway.

Roman wanted to stay past sunset for the incredible view, but he knew the winds would eventually strengthen and the sunshine would trickle away to inky blackness, and he'd be cold and lonely again. He didn't want to be cold anymore. He wanted to be warm for once.

He wanted the kind of warmth he felt when Virgil hugged him, after he finished a difficult musical or after Virgil had been offered a scholarship at an expensive college, or the long hug Virgil gave him after he and Logan broke up; apologizing and saying it wasn't Roman's fault simultaneously. God, Virgil confused him.

Even in his dreams. The strange ones, where he woke up shivering and skin crawling, when the heat would rush to his cheeks and he'd feel tingly all over when Virgil cast him an odd glance.

But heat was always better than cold. He despised those chilly nights, when he would be curled up on the ledge beneath the bridge because he didn't have a home of his own. When his foster parents screamed at him for his sexuality and tossed his bags to him on the front porch. He blamed that, in the end. The cold, and the loneliness. He already felt dead inside; he was just completing the circuit.

His only other regret was that he'd never gotten to make it up to them. To both Logan and Virgil, about how sorry he was.

He watched the crowd below, so far down it was a blob of darkness. He wondered if they were only there to watch his body splatter onto the concrete. No reason to deny them a show. Just a few more minutes of tranquility. A few more minutes to soak up the dying rays of the sun and the quiet. Then he'd shove off with only two regrets, and that was okay with him.

"ROMAN PRINCE!"

Roman nearly fell off the ledge at the voice. The very pissed off voice, belonging to a darkly dressed boy who was currently clambering out of the window, a murderous expression on his pale face. "What the hell do you think you're doing!?"

"Virgil?" Roman gasped, staring in shock as Virgil stepped completely out the window, landing on the thin beam below. Virgil's gaze dropped to the ground, the yawning distance below, then quickly snapped back up to Roman. "What are you doing here? Get back inside!"

"I could ask you the same thing," Virgil snapped, holding his arms out for balance. He swayed in the wind like an autumn leaf, then slowly lowered himself into a sitting position, eyes fixed on Roman with burning intensity.

"Virgil, you're going to fall!" Roman cried in vain.

"Shut up, Roman," Virgil said, with such a stony expression and tone that Roman was forced to obey. Virgil slowly inched towards him, hands clutching the steel beams, until he reached the side of the building and slid down next to Roman. He chanced a look downwards, then sucked in a breath and pressed himself against the wall, gritting his teeth. "Holy hell."

"You shouldn't have come up here," Roman said accusingly.

"Neither should you! Have. Come up here, I mean. Oh jeez, just- just stuff it!" Virgil glared harshly at him. "Tell me what you're doing up here."

Roman raised an eyebrow, as if to say, "Isn't it obvious?"

"I'd punch you right now if I didn't think we'd both fall to our deaths."

"No," Roman whispered, horrified. Virgil couldn't die. The thought made him shiver.

"And you can?" Virgil refuted. He glanced down once more, then squeezed his eyes shut tightly. "Hell, god jesus-"

"Virgil..." The wind had kicked up, tousling Virgil's midnight black hair and chasing away any semblance of warmth. "Are you scared of heights?"

"Just of falling from them," Virgil admitted waspishly.

"Virgil, just please go back inside," Roman begged.

"So you can jump? No way." Virgil reached over and gripped a fistful of his white shirt, his knuckles warm on Roman's skin. "If you jump, you're pulling me with you."

"Virgil, let go," Roman ordered. He wasn't going to pull Virgil to his death too.

"No." Virgil's gaze hardened. "Tell me, what exactly convinced you to do this?"

"It doesn't matter, just let go and head back inside."

"No."

Roman's frustration boiled over. "You are so stubborn-!"

"Hello kettle, it's pot, you're black!"

"-and stupid!"

"I'm stupid? Who's out here trying to jump?"

"Shut up Virgil!"

"What's so bad that you're going to kill yourself?"

"Get off!"

"Not until you grow some brains and come inside with me!"

"No! Leave me alone, jesus!"

"We either fall together or go inside together!"

"What the hell, If you had left me alone before, maybe you and Logan would still be together!"

"If I had- what?" Virgil's face twisted from his shouting match to utter confusion.

"I was a wedge," Roman growled, glaring down below. "If I hadn't been around, if you had told Logan not to invite me all the time, I wouldn't have gotten between you guys and you would still be together."

Virgil started laughing. He was laughing so hard, he had to let go of Roman and hold on for dear life. Roman stared, wondering if the thinned air had gotten to the emo and he was going into hysterics. As the laughter subsided into giggles and stray tears, Roman blinked at him frightfully.

"Oh god Roman, you think Logan was using you as… as a wedge? Between us?" Virgil giggled a bit again. "And that we broke up because of that?"

"Yes..." Roman said uncertainly. "Your laughter is starting to scare me."

"Well you're kind of right," Virgil wiped at his eyes as a few hiccups escaped. "You were a wedge." Roman was about to crow his victory. "But I invited you, not Logan."

That statement had to roll through Roman's head a few times before it registered. "Wa-Wait. What? You… you were using me to… block yourself from Logan?"

Virgil started to say something, closed his mouth, then opened it again, but couldn't seem to dredge up the will to speak. He let out a shaky breath. "I-I've been meaning to tell you. But… I was scared."

"Scared? Of what?" Roman couldn't resist the downward glance. The air was getting colder as the wind grew fiercer.

"That you'd run away from me." Virgil rested his head back against the building wall, his gorgeous onyx eyes drifting upwards. "Guess you're kind of a captive audience now, though."

"Funny," Roman replied sarcastically.

"Roman… I… I like you, Roman." Roman froze as Virgil stared up at the darkening sky. "I like you. More than like you. I'm not sure how much yet, but- but definitely more… more than I think I can ever say."

The wind suddenly wasn't so quiet or gentle, and the tension had all but whisked away any peace Roman had felt earlier. He sat, dumbfounded, heart racing and head spinning in circles as he stared at Virgil, trying to make sense of the confession.

Virgil finally looked at him. His eyes bored into Roman's. "Say something."

"Something," Roman croaked.

Virgil looked worried as he reached a hand out to Roman again, but hesitated short of touching him. "You… you don't have to do anything. I mean, you don't have to… return any feelings." Virgil swallowed hard. "Just… know, if you do this-" He seemed to choke on his words for a moment. "I will never, ever forgive you. I will go to the underworld and drag you back myself."

Roman continued to stare.

"Please," Virgil coaxed gently. He held out a hand for Roman. "Roman… please come inside with me?"

Silence. Virgil's eyes gleamed in the fading light.

Then, Roman slowly reached out, and slid his hand into Virgil's. A relieved sigh escaped the emo, nearly inaudible. They slowly rose to their feet, pressed against the building, and Virgil didn't release his hand all the way to the open window. As he reached out, cheers swelled from within, and Roman found himself flushing pink.

Without warning, Roman's socked food lost its grip and slipped off the beam, the rest of his body tumbling after, Virgil's shrill screaming of his name sounded in the same heartbeat. His arm strained and his hand ached in Virgil's grip, his legs kicking midair, stomach smacking into the side of the beam painfully. Gasps of shock echoed from behind the window, voices raised in panic, and in the corner of his eye, Roman saw the many hands scrambling to pull Virgil inside as Roman dangled from Virgil's strong, desperate grip.

The detached, absent part of Roman's brain that wasn't fully present gleefully supplied him with the notion that he was getting his death wish granted. The thought swiftly kicked the Common Sense section of his brain, which had been peacefully slumbering.

"ROMAN!" Virgil shrieked, and Roman found the strength to raise his arm and clasp Virgil's wrist with numb fingers. He wiggled, slowly building up momentum, and despite neither of them communicating, Virgil knew the exact moment to pull, to give Roman enough swing so he could land safely on the concrete ledge, legs bent beneath him.

Roman panted, heart shuddering in his chest and trembling from head to toe, his hand still wrapped in Virgil's white-knuckled iron grip. Virgil gave him the smallest of smiles.

Then Virgil dragged him through the window, the strangers' hands vanishing and everyone stepped back to give them space. They tripped over each other and landed on the carpeted floor, rolling over so that Roman was lying on his back and Virgil was on top of him, their chests pressed together and faces inches from one another's.

"Never do that again," Virgil snarled, then took in a gasping breath as he held Roman close. His fingers threaded through Roman's hair, and his other hand rested on the floor beside his head. Their heartbeats pounded in frantic sync with each other's. "Never, never, ever, ever ever ever..."

Roman gulped. "I'm sorry," he said eventually, voice quiet. He was hyper-aware of everyone watching them, dozens of eyes observing the two entangled boys on the floor. Somehow, Virgil's dark irises made him forget. "Did you mean that?"

"Every word," Virgil assured him steadily. "And more."

"I don't know how I feel right now," Roman admitted.

Hope glittered in Virgil's eyes. "That's not a 'no', then?"

"That's not a 'no'," Roman agreed, and smiled sheepishly as his face warmed.

Officers were beginning to crowd around them, but it didn't matter as their foreheads touched and their lips connected, and Roman could admit that he felt warmer than he had in a very long time.

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