So I was messing around and put some of my writing into a Shakespeare translator. The following results made me laugh so here ya go:

"Wait," Logan gasped, leaning backeth slightly so that gent couldst behold Patton in the eyes.  Those quite quaint, shiny blue eyes yond gleam'd with drops of sorrow.  "Not yet.  I-I needeth to tell- to bid thee some-something, bef're-" that gent did cough again, his side screaming with teen.  "Patton, I lov-"

The castle ruins exploded, fireth and shrapnel tearing the two lov'rs apart.

¶∆¶∆¶∆¶

"Or, coequal bett'r, if 't be true those gents hadst liketh full on jungle gyms and stuffeth leading to each class. Yond wouldst beest very much neat. Ev'ryone couldst swingeth on the monkey bars and landeth on top of the slides, and-"

"Why doth thee keepeth following me 'round?" Virgil demanded, whirling 'round and glaring at Logan.

¶∆¶∆¶∆¶

Roman did press a quick kisseth to his f'rehead, then dart'd into the kitchen and did grab a frost'd cookie, dec'rat'd with dram death's-head designs on a black background.

"Roman!" Virgil did cry, lunging aft'r that gent. "No cookies until Patton gets one! We've been ov'r this!"

¶∆¶∆¶∆¶

"I wasn't broken bef're," Roman gasped, nearly choking on the w'rds. Each one did drag itself from his lips, throat burning with the strength of those folk. "But thou art breaking me, Virgil. Prithee, don't-"

"You w're broken longeth bef're i cameth into the equation," Virgil did reply coldly, any hint of drops of sorrow vanishing liketh Roman's desires and dreams and loveth. "goodbye, Roman. "

¶∆¶∆¶∆¶

Th're is a lighteth in thy eyes and a dark in thy soul, and i wouldst not tradeth thee f'r all the treasures in the univ'rse. Thy v'ry existence is a contradiction, a paradox i couldst spendeth centuries studying without any desire to und'rstand.

¶∆¶∆¶∆¶

"I misprise thee all," Deceit grumbled, slamming the doth'r behind that gent.

"Hats off to thee," Virgil mumbl'd.

¶∆¶∆¶∆¶

That's all folks, hope you enjoyed and have a lovely day! ~kc