Not requested.

Ship(s): Platonic Prinxiety, past romantic Anxceit

Category: Fluff

Warning(s): None

Summary: Virgil jokingly leaves a comment on social-media-famous Roman Prince, asking if he'll go egg Virgil's ex's house with him this weekend, not expecting anything to come out of it.

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Virgil had been mindlessly scrolling through Twitter when a photo caught his eye. A selfie of Roman Prince, who had become famous through his acting career and singing videos on YouTube. The caption read:

Looking cute 👑✨💖.

"Idiot," Virgil muttered, grinning. He opened the comment section and typed out:

hey Roman you should totally come egg my ex's house on Friday night.

With that, he set down his phone and went on with his day.

He didn't think much of the photo all day, but by the time he checked Twitter again, he was surprised to find a reply from none other than Roman himself.

sure ;) DM me your address and we'll work things out

Virgil scoffed aloud in shock.

Two days later, Friday night...

Someone knocked on Virgil's front door. He stuffed his phone in his pocket, unlatched the door, and swung it open.

On his doorstep, Roman Prince stood there, a bundle of dark cloth under one arm and three cartons of eggs under the other. He flashed Virgil a winning smile.

"I follow through," Roman told him. "Good to meet you, emo_nightmare_23."

Blushing furiously, Virgil stepped backwards to allow Roman inside. "I didn't think you'd actually show up. Thanks, though."

"Of course. So, what's so bad about your ex that you need help egging his house?"

Virgl laughed in slight disbelief. "Sorry, I just can't... Roman Prince is in my house. My house."

"Oh, you're making me blush." Roman handed Virgil one of the bundles, revealing it to be a black hoodie. He yanked one of them over his head. "Gotta be incognito, right?"

"R-Right. Thanks again."

Once Virgil had gotten over his surprise, he and Roman got into Virgil's car and drove to Declan's house, his ex. Roman asked him along the way why Virgil was taking petty revenge, so Virgil explained how much of an asshole Declan was and why he deserved it. Roman laughed easily and was endlessly flattering, working very hard to make Virgil's face flush with warmth.

When they reached Declan's house, Virgil popped open an egg carton and took out an egg. Roman took another one.

"You first," Roman said.

Feeling strangely elated, Virgil flung the egg as far as possible, nailing Declan's front door. Yellow yolk dripped down the handle. Roman clapped his hands and whistled appreciatively.

"Good shot." Roman hefted his egg and hurled it at the house. It smacked into a window.

Another egg hit the lawn. Another on Declan's car. Soon, they were moving on to the next carton. Roman leaned back against Virgil's car, the carton propped up between them in the dead of night, throwing eggs at someone's house.

It was bizarre, but Virgil enjoyed it anyway.

By the time they'd finished, Declan's house was covered in broken shells and splattered yolk, Virgil and Roman were left with three empty cartons, and a weird sense of kinship.

"Thank you for doing that with me," Virgil said as they drove back to his house. Roman reclined the passenger seat to be eye level with Virgil.

"No problem, emo_nightmare_23," Roman replied. He laced his fingers behind his head with a contented sigh. "I'm beat, though. Mind if I post some pics from tonight?"

"Uh, no, it's fine. Just don't mention any names, I know Declan won't like this in the morning and I wouldn't put it past him to show up at my house and cover it in toilet paper or something." Virgil shook his head and chuckled at the thought.

"Don't worry. If he does, give me a call, and I'll help you get back at him."

"Wait, but I don't have your number."

Roman hopped out of the car. Before he left, he handed Virgil one of the empty egg carton, grinned at him, and drove off into the night. Virgil waved goodbye, then opened the carton.

Scrawled in thick black pen on the last untouched egg was:

emo_nightmare_23 ❤

And below it, a phone number.

Virgil pocketed the egg with an irresistible smile.

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