Warnings: touch starved logan, although he doesnt realize it himself

✨Roman is smart and caring boy✨

Idk if this is romantic or platonic tbh, platonic but leaning towards romantic in the future??

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Logan was sitting on the couch in the living room of the mindscape, reading a book and drinking a cup of coffee. 

This was standard for each morning, he'd drink a cup or two of coffee while reading a few chapters. What wasn't standard was that he was the only one up, Patton was usually up and about at this time and sometime Virgil too, but that meant that either he had stayed up all night or he had woken up anxious early and been unable to get any more rest. 

It probably wouldn't last long, that he was the only one awake, but he ignored that thought as he went into the kitchen to refill his NASA-mug, adding three teaspoons of sugar. (The others didn't need to know how much sugar he preferred to put in his coffee.)

He returned to the couch then, drinking his coffee and finishing two more chapters of the book before anything disturbed this rare peace.

Roman walked down the stairs, looking like he'd just gotten out of bed a minute ago, still wearing his pajamas and he'd definitely not combed his hair yet. But he did look like he'd gotten a decent amount of sleep.

"Is Patton not awake?" He said, yawning into his hand, then stretching his arms above his head with a groan. Logan forced himself to look away.

"No, not yet." He said, trying to find where in the page he was.

"Alright... well, you'll do." Roman said, not explaining what that meant. He sat down in the corner of the couch, sitting comfortably and rearranging some pillows before looking at Logan and patting the empty space between his legs.

"Come sit with me." He said, as if that was a normal question that he asked every day. Which perhaps it was, but not when it was aimed at Logan. No one ever wanted him especially close, likely because he had made a point of showing everyone he was completely fine being left alone.

"Why?" He asked, putting his bookmark on the right page and closing his book. Roman pouted at that question.

"Logan, just... just come on. Don't be boring." Roman said, patting the couch again. Logan huffed a little in annoyance and moved closer then, doing as Roman showed and sitting down so he ended up with his back to Roman's chest. 

"I merely wish to know why I'm doing this, I do not find that an unreasonable request." He stated, wondering briefly if Roman was attempting to prank him (he was Remus brother, after all), or if this was another way for Roman to annoy or make fun of him. Then he froze slightly as Roman's arms snaked around him. Was he hugging him? 

"Um, Roman?" He asked again, because an explanation would be nice, and it'd give him something else to focus on than how his heart had almost seemed to stutter in his chest. He didn't know how to feel about this.

"Shush, I want cuddles and you're the only one around." Was all he said and Logan sat quiet for a few short moments before sighing. Alright then. He could get out of this situation if he wanted to, Roman of course wasn't going to force him to stay if it really made him uncomfortable, but this wasn't... bad. 

It was a bit awkward and Logan wasn't exactly sure what to do, but Roman was warm and Logan knew the importance of getting enough touch, if Roman was lacking then Logan didn't mind assisting. And Logan knew of course that Roman was an incredibly cuddly person, that was easy for anyone to see.

Roman seemed perfectly happy just sitting like that, chin leaning on Logan's shoulder, and Logan conjured up his book with sudokus and a pen. 

It seemed like he would be here for a while, at least until Patton came downstairs and Roman had someone better to cuddle with. Logan wasn't exactly the first choice when anyone felt like cuddling. Actually, he normally wasn't a choice at all. 

They sat there in silence for a long while, Roman seeming content as he was and Logan fairly content with his sudokus, solving several of them with Roman no doubt looking at everything he was doing, which he ignored. 

"How do you solve those." Roman asked, speaking quietly but Logan half-flinched anyway at the unexpected noise.

"Have you never solved one before?" 

"Well, no. Otherwise I wouldn't ask you how to do it." Roman said and Logan was fairly sure that the creative trait was rolling his eyes. 

"I'll gladly explain. A sudoku is a logic-based, combinatorial number-placement puzzle." He began, but as soon as he said that he thought that that may not be the easiest way to keep Roman interested. Logan went about a hundred pages back to the easy sudokus he'd skipped past. 

"Um. Here, we can solve this one together. As you can see a sudoku is made up of nine bigger squares that each have been split up into nine smaller squares. So, each of these," he circled his finger around what he was showing, "are supposed to have the numbers one through nine."

"So should every row or column. No row or column or these three-times-three spaces can have the same number in them. This way you can see where the numbers are supposed to be placed." He said pausing to see if Roman was understanding what he was trying to explain. 

"So..." Roman said after a few moments of silence, reaching out to point at the page himself, "since there's a one there and there, that means there is supposed to be a one here in the top corner?" 

"Exactly!" Logan said, a tad over excited maybe, but it was rare that someone, Roman especially, listened and cared about what he was saying. Logan really wouldn't mind sharing his interests with others, if they cared to learn. 

"Oh, okay, I think I get it." Roman said, taking a pen that Logan offered him so he could write the correct number in the square himself. Then they spent a while solving a few sudokus together, even though these were too easy for Logan. At least twenty minutes passed without any interruption, but then there were soft steps coming down the stairs and Patton appeared.

"Good morning, Roman, Logan." Patton said with a warm smile as he passed through the living room to the kitchen. Moments later they heard one of Patton's playlists start to play as cupboards were opened and he likely began to make breakfast.

He'd expected Roman to rush off then, join Patton in the kitchen and cling to him instead, but he made no attempts to move, instead tapping Logan on the arm for his attention.

"I'm stuck, can you find any number?" He said, bringing Logan's focus back to the sudoku. He smiled to himself then, a bit unsure why he was feeling so delighted but he supposed it was nice to have someone to spend time with. He often got so lost in work and his own hobbies that he spent most of his time alone in his room, which was fine too, but he supposed even he needed some company now and then.

Logan added an eight to the sudoku, quietly surprised Roman's focus had even lasted this long, Logan hadn't thought Roman would find sudokus interesting in the least. But it made Logan hope that maybe they could do this more often, because he didn't mind Roman's company. Quite the opposite, he'd realized recently.

Their friendship, if one could call it that, was slightly complicated by how stubborn they both were. Roman had a talent for frustrating Logan an impressive amount and Logan likely did the same in Roman's opinion. But Logan would call them friends anyway.

A few minutes later Patton called them all for breakfast, Roman leaving to check if Virgil was awake yet as Logan sat by the table with Patton and they talked a little about a book Patton had borrowed from him.

He was feeling strangely cold, he didn't remember the mind scape being this chilly earlier. He supposed he wouldn't have, not with someone warm so close. And after breakfast Logan went upstairs to his room, finding a hoodie deep in his closet and pulling it on. He hadn't worn a hoodie in, maybe, years, but it was more practical than walking around with a blanket.

He brought his laptop back with him to the living room, having been reminded that he had a bit of work left to do. It seemed a nice thought to finish that work 'out in the open', that way he would be reminded of the others and not get too caught up in what he had on his screen.

He got a few looks from the others during the two hours he worked, maybe because of what he was wearing, or maybe because he wasn't hiding away in his room (if so that really meant he should be spending more time around other sides). 

Then later in the day he played some videogame with Roman that involved a lot of fighting with weapons that made no sense in some fantasy landscape and he lost spectacularly. Eventually Virgil joined in too and Roman and Logan teamed up against him because, to quote Roman, 'Logan needed to see what it was like to win'. 

Virgil won every time.

Logan could tell himself that he was distracted if he'd needed reason to feel better about his losses, but actually he just had no talent for games like these. Although it was true that he was slightly distracted, not by his work like he often was, but by Roman.

It took Logan a while to pinpoint that it was because he couldn't stop thinking of this morning, but why that was he did not yet know. This was not the first time Roman had made Logan feel strange things, so he disregarded it.

He especially ignored the thought to move closer to Roman to initiate some more contact that briefly crossed his mind, because that was just strange and he didn't know where it had come from. (But he wouldn't have hated it, if Roman had decided he wanted more physical touch.)

He was feeling very off today, which was confusing because he'd been doing fine this morning. It wasn't very easy figuring out why, why he was feeling so cold and why he found himself unconsciously moving close to the others all the time. It was weird, and he'd accidentally been walked into three times in one day since he didn't want to move too far out of the way.

A while later Virgil got tired of playing, leaving to do something else. Patton had been in his room for at least an hour, which left Logan alone with Roman again. Roman had turned the game off and gone to the kitchen to drink something, and meanwhile Logan had gotten up from the couch. It was approximately two hours since they'd had dinner, there were no plans for the evening. Logan might as well find another good book.

"Hey, Logan, are you okay?" Roman asked, pulling Logan out of his thoughts. He realized he had been standing in front of the book shelf in the living room for several minutes, having gotten lost in thought, thinking back to this morning, finding himself wondering if he should ask Roman if he wanted to solve another sudoku with him. Maybe they could try a medium one now?

"I'm fine, why?" He said, pulling a random book out of the shelf, mostly to look like he was doing something.

"You're acting kind of weird. Have been all day. You seem to be cold because this might be the first time I've ever seen you in a hoodie, and you look lost in thought all the time." He said and Logan didn't really know what to say to that.

"First I thought I might have made you uncomfortable this morning but then you've been a lot more social today than normal, you normally stay away as much as Virgil. And I've accidentally bumped into you and brushed hands and things like that a lot today, you seem to be really close by all the time, so..." Roman continued and Logan felt his face heat up slightly. He had not intended to be that close, or that obvious.

"So I'm wondering if you are touch starved? You kind of seem to be." He asked and Logan opened his mouth to automatically say no but he paused when he really heard what Roman had said, realizing that that would explain what he was feeling.

"Oh."

"I might be. That makes sense." He said, realization finally dawning on him. 

"Excellent observation, Roman." He added and Roman gave him a doubting look.

"You didn't realize? I thought you were just too professional and proud to admit you would need something like touch." Roman said and that was a fair assumption, Logan did not think he would have gone to anyone for help if he had realized before Roman. 

"Of course I know the importance of touch. I had just failed to... consider that those needs applied to me, as well." Logan admitted and Roman scoffed.

"Typical. You know, you should take better care of yourself. You keep telling us and Thomas how to do self care, but you're just a huge hypocrite, aren't you?" Roman said, not necessarily in an upset or angry way (more worried and caring than anything), but Logan found himself looking away anyway, feeling a twinge of guilt.

"I'm gonna have to force you into cuddles." Roman then said, shaking his head slightly and grabbing Logan's hand, already dragging him towards the couch.

"Oh no, the horror." Logan said monotonously, letting Roman pull him onto the couch where he sat and had Logan sit close enough for their legs to press together and he could with ease put an arm around Logan's shoulders.

This was not terrible.

Roman summoned up Virgil and Patton then, Virgil seeming to have been in the middle of dying his hair again as he had dye in his hair and a white shirt with many purple stains, giving Roman an annoyed look. Patton was holding a box with coloring pens and looked mildly confused at the change of scenery.

"Movie night, guys." He said, and Logan tried his best not to feel awkward about the others seeing him sitting with Roman like this. Despite that he was fairly sure his face was a little more pink than normal.

"Can we wait like twenty minutes? I'm supposed to wash this out in fifteen." Virgil complained before sinking out again, which didn't matter, because thirty minutes later when he joined again they still hadn't decided what movie to watch.

Virgil and Logan settled the dispute together by deciding it's Patton's turn to decide the movie, with only a little pouting from Roman who'd wanted to watch Beauty and the Beast.

Patton chose Howl's Moving Castle instead, which no one minded.

Virgil sat with Patton on his lap and thankfully they didn't seem to care that Roman was all cuddled up to Logan, so a few minutes into the movie Logan allowed himself to relax and lean his head on Roman's shoulder. He was a lot more focused on the fact that touch felt nice than he was on the movie. It was maybe a slightly sad realization that they'd likely watched this movie more times than Logan had cuddled with someone, anyone.

But Roman seemed adamant to change that now that they both were aware that Logan was in fact the one lacking touch (or at least Logan hoped he wouldn't forget about it, now that he had got touch he thought it'd be harder to go without). 

But that would probably not be the case. And Logan's breath hitched slightly as Roman's hand found his and their fingers entwined, a touch that felt nice in an entirely different and confusing way.

Logan wondered then if the strange ways Roman at times made him feel really all had to do with him being touch starved, but that thought was all too frightening for Logan to think too much about now.

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Written: 19th, 20th, 21st & 22nd November 2020
Published: 4th October 2021
Words: 2732

All my fics are so old I should publish more often to get to the new stuff...