Warnings: pattons sad but otherwise I dont think so, there might not even be swearing :o

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Patton was having a... day, let's just go with that.

There was nothing particularly bad about this day, nothing upsetting had happened, but he was still feeling tired and down, and foolish since he had no reasons to be feeling like that. After two hours of lying in bed after having woken up he forced himself to get dressed and leave his room, get something to eat, not worry the others.

After that he'd spotted Roman in the living room (Logan and Virgil were outside in the garden of the mindscape, sitting in the sun with a book each) he was singing along to some music and dancing a little.

It did make Patton happier to see that the people he loved weren't as sad as he was, even if he didn't like to be alone in this feeling it was comforting to know he was. Roman hadn't yet discovered Patton lurking in the doorway so he took the chance to walk up behind him.

Patton wrapped his arms around Roman, resting his chin on his shoulder and letting out a tired and drawn-out hi. He even smiled a little genuine smile because even if he was having an off day he loved Roman so much.

"Hello, my prince." Roman said and Patton could hear his smile in the tone of his voice and he wasn't entirely sure if that was making his heart ache more or less. He squeezed Roman with his arms, pressing a kiss to his shoulder before letting go of him again.

He was slightly tempted to ask Roman if he could take a break from what he was doing to just cuddle with him for a moment and even if he knew Roman would say yes in a heartbeat he refrained from asking, didn't want to be in the way or steal his time.

"I'm thinking of making some cookies, do you have a suggestion for which kind?" He said instead when Roman turned around to face him.

"Hmm, well your peanut butter and crofters cookies are always amazing." Roman said, with his brilliant smile and then he kissed Patton's forehead.

"Great idea, Ro." Patton said and went to the kitchen, making the cookies and listening to Roman sing in the other room, feeling a little better but still having that weight of sad and tired settled in his body, making him feel a bit sluggish.

After the cookies were done and had cooled a bit he put them on two plates, the same amount on each. Then he grabbed one of the plates and went outside where he found Virgil and Logan doing the same as he had before, sitting and reading together on a picnic blanket, enjoying the sun and each others company.

"Hello, you two." He said, sitting down with them, getting a fond smile from Logan and a hello from Virgil. "I made some cookies."

He said and set the plate down, noticing how the two were holding hands and instead of letting go of the other bookmarked their books and put them aside to get a free hand.

"You're amazing, Patton." Virgil said, taking one. Patton smiled a little, hoping it wouldn't look fake and alert his boyfriends something wasn't right.

And, yes, he knew they would all drop what they were doing to make sure he was okay and he knew they'd talked about him hiding when he was feeling bad and that he shouldn't do it and that they want to be there for him and that he doesn't need to be happy all the time.

But he still avoided mentioning it, because he didn't think there was much they could do for him anyway so what was the point in worrying them? It'd only put a damper on the others good moods if they knew he was having a bad day and Patton would much rather be making sure his boyfriends were all feeling happy and loved.

He shuffled closer to Virgil, kissing his cheek which made him scrunch his nose and smile. Virgil turned and kissed him right on the lips, tasting sweet from the cookies and making Patton feel that little bit better.

The three of them sat there in the sun for a while, listening to Logan excitedly explain what his book was about. (Patton loved that Logan slowly but surely was beginning to let himself be more than just Logic, that he was letting himself be emotional. Seeing Logan excited about something made Patton's heart so full of love.)

Once Logan had finished talking Patton excused himself and walked back inside, taking the second plate of cookies and walking up to where Roman was sitting on the couch, laughing at gay tiktoks. At the sight of Patton he held an arm out and pulled him in once he sat down next to him, his arm tightly around Patton's middle.

"Do you want to play Mario Kart with me?" Roman asked, helping himself to several cookies. Patton shook his head, taking a cookie himself even if he wasn't particularly hungry, having eaten quite a lot of cookie dough earlier.

"I don't really feel like it." He said, hoping that wasn't suspicious as they played that game quite often (and Patton usually won, to everyone's, including his own, surprise).

Roman continued watching tiktoks, Patton somewhat watching with him but mainly focusing on Roman, trying to use the affection he was being given as a shield towards his sadness. It didn't work as well as he had wanted it to, but being near his boyfriends always made him feel at least a little better.

"I love you." He said, leaning his head on Roman's shoulder, and Roman kissed his hair, held him tighter. "I love you too, Pat." He said and Patton closed his eyes, sighing a little. He felt both restless and exhausted and it wasn't a good combo, but he could manage, he had had many worse days and this he could take on by himself.

Then Patton must have fallen asleep because he woke up a while later, still cuddled up to Roman. He opened his eyes a tiny bit, wondered what had woken him, sleeping had been so nice. Then a moment later Logan and Virgil came into the room, pinkie fingers linked and Logan was carrying their books while Virgil was holding the plate (now empty).

"Ah, Roman," Logan began, putting the books down on the coffee table, "we were just hoping to find you and Patton."

"Oh? What's up?" Roman put his phone down and Patton slipped his eyes shut because he thought no one had realized he was awake.

"Well, Virgil was a bit worried, he observed that Patton is more drawn back and quiet today than usual and therefore wants to make sure everything is alright." Logan explained and Patton internally groaned. Why were the others so caring and observing?

"Yeah, I've been thinking the same thing but I didn't want to ask in case he didn't want to talk about it. Don't wanna pry, you know." Roman said and Patton decided to open his eyes.

"I'm not sad." Patton said to them to remove any worry, because you can only let people talk about you for so long, but his voice cracked a little and totally threw him under the bus. He frowned.

"Okay maybe I'm a little sad." He said and then a moment later snapped his fingers to change into his cat hoodie, crossing his arms over his chest. The hoodie was a comfort item, but he couldn't really wear it without people knowing something wasn't right.

"I didn't want you to know because there's nothing you can do about it anyway. I hate to upset you all and I know you don't like it when I'm sad." He said. Logan and Virgil exchanged a glance and Logan let go of him, sat down next to Patton and took one of his hands in his own.

"Of course we don't like it when you're sad, but we still want to know so we can stay by your side during tough times. We may not always be able to stop you from feeling sad, but we can always keep you company." Logan said and Patton shrugged a little. He felt less shitty with company, but he still rarely wanted company when he had a bad day.

"Yeah, I know. It's just... difficult." He said, meaning several different things but not explaining himself.

"I'll make us some tea." Virgil said with a fond and reassuring smile, disappearing into the kitchen for a few minutes before coming back with a tray with four cups. During that time Roman had summoned up quite a lot of soft blankets and Patton was wrapped up in a purple one, sitting in the corner of the couch with Logan, his back to Logan's chest and his arms around Patton's middle.

Virgil set the cups down on the table and then climbed into Roman's lap, something that Roman looked delighted about and he looped his arms around him and kissed his jaw before turning to Patton.

"Do you want to watch a movie? And which one?" He asked. Patton wasn't really excited about doing anything other than eating too many sweets and lying in bed, but from experience he knew that distracting himself with a movie will at least make him feel a little better, and closing himself off in his room would just concern his boyfriends.

"We haven't watched Inside Out in a while." Patton said, running his hands over the soft fabric of the blanket. Roman started the movie from his phone and they all sat together, drinking their tea and watching the movie.

Today wasn't a good day, but it wasn't terrible, couldn't be when he had his boyfriends by his side.

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Written: 24th, 25th, 26th, 27th & 28th September 2020
Published: 15th June 2021
Words: 1679

Uh idk but cuddle pile = good