Warnings: swearing, roman is a hopelessly pining gay mess, as usual, we love him he precious,

yooo i got a summer job what

--

"Hey!" Roman leaned against the wall, making Logan halt and look up from his book, looking confused to see that there was someone blocking his path.

"Roman, what... are you doing?" Logan said, pausing in the middle of his sentence and Roman could have sworn he had glanced down at his lips. Roman entirely forgot what little plan he might have had to talk to Logan, and it took him a moment to will his brain to refrain from dying from The Gay and instead think of what to say.

"Can you teach me about stars?" He blurted out, it having been the first best thing he'd thought of. He knew Logan had been watching a documentary about stars yesterday so he was probably interested in it, it would mean spending time together, and while Roman wasn't that interested in stars he was interested in alone time with Logan.

Logan blinked twice, giving him a near suspicious look.

"You want me to teach you about stars?" He questioned, hesitant as if he thought Roman was joking with him.

"Yes? Yes. If you'd like to." Roman stood up straight and took a step back, wondering to himself what it was about Logan that robbed him of his usual confidence and ability to function. The answer to that was of course that Roman had a massive crush on Logan, but he would like to think that he was smoother than this around the person he held feelings for. He was supposed to be the romantic side, not the blushing and stuttering disaster side.

"Alright, I accept. Though I'd like to know how you think this will happen, am I telling you all the knowledge I already possess or do you want me to read from a book, or-"

"We can go stargazing!" Roman interrupted, having just been hit with the idea and already thinking it was perfect. Him, Logan, a sky full of stars, maybe they could share a blanket-

"That is a satisfactory idea, though please refrain from interrupting me again or I will find it difficult teaching you anything." Logan said and Roman grinned.

"Great, you free at nine this evening? We'll go stargazing in the imagination and you can tell me all you know about the constellations and stars and stuff!" He said and Logan had that expression of when he was refusing to let a smile show on his lips but his eyes betrayed him.

"Yes, this evening works fine for me." He said, still with a neutral voice and Roman who was far too excited about this wondered how he did it.

"Perfect!" He said, then took another step back and sank out of the room, needing to leave before he lost the little cool he possessed.

--

This is not a date. This is not a date. This is not a date. Roman found himself having to remind himself of that continuously throughout the rest of the day because them stargazing was not a date. It could have been, it would probably look that way to an outsider, but this was not a date.

Fuck, Roman kind of wished this was a date.

Especially as he had knocked on Logan's door at exactly nine in the evening and said side opened the door to his room within two seconds, stepping out into the hallway. He looked as nerdy as always with the same clothes as he wore every day except for his tie that he had switched for one with a space pattern, and Roman thought that might just be the most precious thing.

"I love the tie." Was the first thing Roman said to him because it was what he managed to articulate that did not sound incredibly gay.

"Thank you." Logan said while looking at him as if he was trying to figure out if Roman was being serious or sarcastic. Roman quickly showed Logan towards his room and through the door that led to the imagination after that, thinking that it was probably wiser if he did not speak too much because then who knew what he might accidentally blurt out?

Logan did not seem to mind the quiet between them and he said nothing the entire time, but Roman heard his breath hitch once he stepped out into the imagination and saw the night sky. Roman could not stop himself from glancing back at Logan, and neither could he stop the small smile when he saw the awe in Logan's expression.

Yes, Roman was definitely a little in love with Logan.

The two of them walked a little bit away before sitting down in the grass, the door having brought them to the middle of a huge field, stretching out for forever in all directions. Roman loved creating places in the imagination, and this one felt extra rewarding since he got to share it with Logan.

"How does the imagination work? Does it create itself to an exact image of your imagination? Do you have to give commands? What is your role in the creative process?" Logan asked, breaking the silence around them and turning to look at Roman instead of the sky, and Roman had not been prepared for eye contact just now, not when he was sitting and observing Logan and smiling like a fool at him. He quickly looked out over the field, hoping it was too dark for Logan to notice the small blush surely on his face.

"Well, I suppose I give it sort of commands and it takes form from that, which can be difficult sometimes, took me a while to get the grass like I wanted it." Roman said, hoping that was a good enough explanation. Logan ran a hand through the grass.

"I do enjoy the silvery green." Logan said, plucking a blade of grass and studying it closer, probably trying to compare it to grass from the real world or something nerdy as such. Yep, Roman was in love with him. Roman crossed his legs, leaning his elbows on his knees and resting his head in his hands.

"Tell me about stars." He said, seeing Logan drop the blade of grass and look up at him.

"Yes, that is why we are here, isn't it. What would you like to know?" Logan asked and Roman shrugged.

"Everything. Tell me interesting facts you find fascinating, point out constellations you can see and tell me the story behind them. I don't know, just tell me what you want to." Roman said, waiting excitedly. He may be awful at retaining information and would likely not remember a thing that Logan had said in a few hours, but he was excited regardless.

"Alright." Logan looked up at the sky, the tiniest of smiles gracing his lips, which is definitely not what Roman should be focusing on right now, but god it did make Logan look even prettier.

"Can you see that small cluster of stars? It's a galaxy called Andromeda and it is one of the few galaxies visible from earth with the human eye. In fact it is the most distant object you can spot with the naked eye. It is approaching the Milky Way at approximately one hundred to one hundred and forty kilometers per second. It has at least one supermassive black hole hidden at the core." Logan rambled and Roman was amazed Logan could just know all of that.

"It is named for Andromeda, daughter of Cassiopeia, in the greek myth, who was chained to a rock to be eaten by the sea monster Cetus." He added and Roman blinked slowly while trying to keep all of the information.

"Wait so is the Andromeda galaxy going to eventually collide with our galaxy?" Roman asked, because that part sounded kind of worrisome.

"No need to worry, the collision will not be happening until four billion years from now. We will be long dead and all our descendants will be too. I would not be all too surprised if the human race has managed to exterminate itself long before this will happen." Logan said.

"Oh okay."

"This constellation is called Cygnus, which is Latin for the swan." Logan then said, somehow taking near ten minutes to help Roman find where in the sky the constellation was located without losing his mind.

"There are several different myths surrounding this constellation, one being about the Spartan queen Leda who gave birth to two sets of twins, the immortal Pollux and Helen and the mortal Castor and Clytemnestra after having been seduced by Zeus disguised as a swan. Zeus was father to the immortal twins and Leda's husband, king Tyndareus, was father to the mortal twins." Logan said and Roman held a hand up to quiet him.

"Are you telling me Zeus had to become a swan to seduce a woman? What was his thought process with that! Was she into swans?" Roman laughed, wondering why the fuck turning into a swan would help with seducing a woman.

Roman was very gay for guys (especially the one he sat next to) and couldn't say he definitely knew how to seduce a woman but that did not sound right. The corners of Logan's mouth were pulled into a cute small smile.

"I suppose that's true, greek myths are... strange." He said, Roman still being slightly enchanted by that smile, well, by almost everything about Logan, his stubbornness, how knowledgeable he was even about boring stuff, how good he somehow always looked... etcetera.

"Fun fact, Castor and Pollux are represented by the zodiac constellation Gemini." Logan added, beginning to ramble about Gemini and Roman lied back onto the grass to look up at the sky while he listened, admittedly letting his imagination run a bit wild simultaneously, thinking of all the different kind of dates he wished he could take Logan on.

"Roman, are you listening?" Logan asked, rudely pulling Roman out of his daydream about having a movie night with Logan that ended in cuddling and kissing.

"Yes, sorry, continue." Roman said, looking at Logan instead of the sky, feeling rather sad at being back in reality because, well, what were the chances that Roman would ever take Logan on a date?

Exactly, zero.

Logan didn't do feelings, especially not romantic feelings, and even if he did, why in the world would he end up falling for Roman? He might as well stop daydreaming about dating Logan all the time, it just made him sad when he remembered Logan would never feel the same.

"Are you alright Roman? You're frowning." Logan asked and Roman forced a small, casual smile instead.

"I'm fine, why don't you tell me about..." Roman looked up at the sky again, looking for any constellation he knew the name of, "Cassiopeia? Please?"

"Alright." Logan said, giving him an uncertain look.

"Well, as I assume you know Cassiopeia consists of five stars in a 'W' formation. It's named after queen Cassiopeia of Aethiopia, married to king Cepheus, mother of princess Andromeda. All three of these were placed in the sky. Cassiopeia herself were placed there as a punishment from Poseidon after having claimed that her daughter Andromeda was more beautiful than the Nereids or that she herself was more beautiful than the sea nymphs." Logan explained.

"She was forced to wheel around the north celestial pole on her throne, spending half the time trying not to fall off, and Poseidon also decreed that Andromeda should be bound to a rock as prey for the monster Cetus."

"That's harsh, the woman just had a bit of self confidence and pride in her daughter." Roman said, thinking that that sounded like a very unfair punishment for both of them.

"Yes, well, take pretty much any greek myth and the gods will be very petty and touchy." Logan said.

"That's true ...though all I know about greek myths are from the Percy Jackson series." Roman admitted.

"I will say those are great books though, all the series." Logan said and Roman fell a little bit more in love with him from finding out he liked his favorite books. Logan laid down too, helping Roman to spot another constellation as he explained the myth behind it and other interesting facts he knew regarding it.

Roman allowed Logan to keep rambling about stars, hoping that maybe they could just stay there forever, this evening didn't have to end but, too soon Logan conjured his phone to check the time, revealing that it was far too late already. A little bit past three in the morning.

No, they shouldn't still be up, but Roman really didn't want Logan to leave. He forced himself up from the ground before Logan did, just to have the chance to extend a helping hand to him, which Logan took, allowing Roman to help him up.

Logan's hand fit perfectly with his and he was warm and his skin was surprisingly soft and Roman didn't want to let go but he did anyway. With a wave of his hand he made the door back to the mindscape materialize before them and they entered together into Roman's room. He walked Logan to his own room, pausing there.

"Thank you for tonight, it was really interesting to hear you talk. I hope we can do it again." Roman said, avoiding the temptation of asking Logan to stay with him for the rest of the night too (Roman thought cuddling with Logan was just what he needed for continuous survival).

"Thank you too, Roman. It is rare that anyone is interested in hearing me ramble. I'd love to do this again. Goodnight." He said and Roman said goodnight too, somehow refraining from kissing Logan's cheek despite it being all he wanted to do.

He went back to his own room, changing out of his clothes and getting into bed, taking a long while to fall asleep despite actually being really tired. He spent far too long hugging his pillow and wishing that it was Logan that he had in his arms, because not only was he a pining gay mess, he was also quite touch starved and cuddling Logan seemed like paradise.

If only Logan were the cuddly type. Or the type to have feelings...

Roman sighed into his pillow, feeling as if he would have to tell Logan how he felt for him soon or he would drive himself insane by thinking about him and what they could possibly have together.

It'd be better to just have Logan reject him so he could stop hoping that he could have a relationship with him. But he didn't want to make Logan uncomfortable with his feelings, or make things weird between them, or be rejected and have to give up hope.

Roman sighed into his pillow again and fell asleep.

--

Roman slept until Patton came and told him it was time for lunch, then spending the entire day watching Netflix on the couch in the living room, making it through almost the whole first season of Lucifer and a bag of microwave popcorn.

Maybe not the healthiest way to spend the day but since the love of his life would most likely never love him back he felt he both needed and deserved it.

He threw the empty popcorn bag onto the coffee table just as Logan entered the room and Roman straightened himself a little bit to not look like he had a double chin and brushed away some popcorn from his sash.

"Roman, are you still using the tv?" He asked and Roman shook his head despite the credits of the episode of Lucifer he'd just seen were still rolling on the screen.

"If you need the tv you can have it." He said, disconnecting his phone from the cromecast.

"If it's alright I'd like to watch this documentary about greek gods and myths I found. I thought that maybe it would be of interest to you too?" Logan said and Roman smiled and nodded because that meant Logan wanted to spend time with him and it made him ridiculously happy.

"Sounds wonderful." He said and Logan sat down next to him, sadly not close enough for their shoulders or legs would touch. Logan started the documentary and they watched it together, Logan now and then adding to what they said, contributing with his own knowledge. Virgil and Patton entered once to see what they were watching but left them alone again pretty soon, which Roman didn't mind.

"Not only was Hyacinthus admired by Apollo, the west wind Zephyrus, and the west wind Boreas, but also by a mortal man named Thamyris. According to the Bibliotheca, Thamyris is said to be the first man to have ever loved another man." Logan added to the commentary. Roman gave him what even he himself could tell was an affectionate glance.

"You're such a nerd." He said with a little sigh of happiness to be spending this time with Logan.

"If my commentary is annoying I can stop." Logan said and Roman hurried to shake his head.

"No, not at all. And I was calling you a nerd in a, well, affectionate way." He said sheepishly, mentally telling himself off. Of course Logan would think he'd said that as an insult since usually that was what his nicknames were.

"Oh, alright then." They watched the rest in mostly silence while Roman cursed himself about sixty times for fucking things up. When the documentary ended, right before Logan left he turned to Roman.

"If you would like, then I am free tonight too to stargaze and talk about constellations." He informed and Roman almost gasped in excitement.

"I'd love to." He said somewhat calmly and Logan nodded.

"Alright, same time this evening as yesterday, I suggest." He said before sinking out of the room and leaving Roman to get all excited and happy at the thought of another night of stargazing.

He didn't expect them to end up holding hands and sharing a blanket and having their arms around each other, but he could always daydream about it, be a hopeless romantic and imagine what it would be like to receive the affection he wanted so badly from Logan. Sadly his heart tried to ache out of his chest when he remembered he'd never get that affection, but it'd been a nice few minutes of wistful thinking.

So in the evening he was once again standing outside of Logan's door. He had kind of dressed for the occasion, thinking that if he put effort into looking extra handsome then maybe there was a bigger chance that Logan would possibly ever like him back. He'd exchanged his usual attire for a pair of nicer pants the same red as his sash, a white button up that fitted him nicely, and of course his red sash over that.

He knocked on Logan's door and it was opened almost immediately to show Logan.

"Hello, Roman." He said, closing the door behind himself and not discreetly enough looking Roman up and down before looking away. Was Roman hallucinating? Oh, who was he kidding, Logan was probably just surprised of his outfit change.

"Right, um, shall we go?" Logan asked, briefly touching Roman's arm and making him aware of just how touch starved he was. Especially for Logan's touch.

He nodded because he didn't trust himself not to say something dumb and led Logan to his room and into the imagination, which still looked the same as it had last night.

Logan looked around with a smile that had Roman contemplating confessing his undying love. Instead he conjured up a blanket which he spread out over the grass.

"Could you possibly demonstrate some of what you can do with the imagination? I'd love to see." Logan asked and Roman couldn't say no to showing off for his crush, could he? With little effort he made pretty flowers sprout nearby while the sky demonstrated a sunrise and a sunset within one minute. Logan gaped and let out a little breathless laugh.

"Incredible." He turned to Roman. "Absolutely incredible. Can anyone form the imagination like that?"

"Well, I don't see why not? No other side has tried, except for my brother who of course has his own imagination, but it shouldn't be limited to only the two of us. Give it a try!" He said, excited to see what Logan might create if he had the chance to, and his mind reeling over the praise Logan had given him. Logan almost seemed a bit shy, looking around the imagination.

"Roman... I don't know how." He said.

"Oh, well, just... think of what it is you want to create and where and the imagination will make it happen." Like I want a blue flower right there." Roman said, pointing at the ground and immediately a flower with dark blue petals sprouted. Roman plucked it and gave it to Logan.

"See?" He said and Logan took it carefully, inspecting it closely.

"You make it look very easy." He said and Roman shrugged because, well, to him it was easy, not much more difficult than breathing. He watched Logan crouch down and sit, staring intensely at a spot on the ground. Roman sat down next to him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Relax a bit and it'll probably go better." He said with amusement. Logan glanced at him, relaxing his shoulders and closing his eyes.

"Right." Logan said and everything was still for a few more moments and Roman thought that maybe the imagination wouldn't work for anyone else than him and his brother, but then something began to grow and Roman gasped. Logan opened his eyes and they widened when seeing the plant that momentarily stopped growing. Then Logan concentrated again and it only took around twenty seconds for it to grow into an impressive rosebush, taller than Roman.

Logan stood up and laughed in amazement, poking his finger to a thorn and pulling a rose from the bush, smelling it.

"Incredible, it's as real to us as anything is to Thomas in the real world. I would love to study everything here." Logan said and Roman could only imagine what nerdy scientific experiments and stuff Logan wanted to perform.

"Well, you can come to the imagination whenever you want." Roman said because the imagination of course wasn't something that he wanted to keep all to himself when there were other who wanted to enjoy it. Logan looked incredibly excited by that idea for a second or two before he remembered to control his emotions.

Roman wished Logan could forget to control any romantic feelings that he might have, he wouldn't mind at all if Logan suddenly kissed him. Of course the problem was still that Logan likely did not have any such feelings...

"I would like that very much, Roman. Thank you." Logan said with a smile. Roman really wished Logan would smile more often. Not only because it was the most precious thing he'd ever seen, but because it just felt nice to be the reason someone was smiling. Except if it was his brother, if Remus was smiling that meant something gross was hidden in his room and Roman did not want to find another dead rat under his pillow.

"Shall we?" Logan said, already having sat down to stargaze. Roman joined him, sitting as close as he dared to, hoping it seemed accidental that their arms brushed and not like Roman was pining as badly as he was.

"Would you like to hear more about constellations, or general facts about stars?" Logan asked and Roman contemplated the question.

"Well, what 'general facts' can you tell me?" He said.

"I can tell you that all the stars you can see in the sky are both bigger and brighter than our sun. The closest star to earth, except for our sun, is Proxima Centauri and it's located 4.2 light years away, meaning its light that you see has travelled for four years through space to reach us. With the fastest spacecraft ever launched it would take us seventy thousand years to reach it." Logan said, a tone of longing in his voice and Roman didn't doubt for a second that Logan wished he could explore space.

"Most stars travels in pairs or in clusters. Our sun is an exception from that." Logan said and Roman hadn't thought he was going to relate to the sun tonight, but he felt pretty lonely too. Maybe not as lonely as the sun, but it felt close to it some nights.

"Sirius is the brightest star we can see, and it lies 8.3 light years away. The star Sirius has been used in ancient times to both mark the change of seasons and to navigate the sea."

"The youngest star we can spot is seventy billion years old." Logan added, wistfully looking up at the night sky, then lowering his gaze to look at Roman. Logan tilted his head a little.

"Is there something on my face, or what?" He said and Roman realized he'd been staring at him, probably with more awe than Logan himself looked at the stars with.

"What? Oh, um, no. I'm just... it's nothing." Roman looked away and hoping he wasn't being too obvious. Though maybe thighs would be easier if Logan realized Roman liked him without him saying it?

"Do you believe in aliens?" Roman asked, to lead attention away from himself (there's a first time for everything). Logan seemed mildly surprised at the question and Roman hoped he didn't think it was a stupid one. Logan took a deep breath and looked up at the stars again.

"No matter how ridiculous it may sound, yes, I believe there is a great chance there is something else alive besides us. Hear me out, space is never ending. It's impossible for us to truly grasp, but space is infinite, and it is filled with stars and galaxies and planets. It seems impossible that in this infinite universe our planet is the only one with the right conditions to support life, doesn't it?" Logan said, now looking right at Roman again and seemingly searching for agreement.

"Oh, yeah. Shit, aliens are definitely real." Roman said.

"It's fascinating to think about. We have absolutely no idea what might be out there. And if aliens existed, how would we know they were aliens? If humanity would ever develop a way to travel through space there is a great chance we would not even realize we'd found aliens, they might not even be 'alive' by human standards, we might just think it's a space rock." Logan theorized happily.

"What if we are the aliens." Roman said and Logan scoffed a little.

"Technically, if there are aliens out there, to them we are the aliens. So if aliens exist then, by default, we are aliens too." Logan said.

"I love the way you think!" Roman said with a grin. Logan then did something very un-Logan-like and flushed pink, the change visible despite the darkness. Roman didn't think he had ever seen Logan blush before and he made an effort not to smile even wider at the fact that he'd had that effect on Logan.

"I- um, the- the surface of the sun is five thousand and five hundred degrees Celsius and, um, the core is fifteen million degrees celsius." Logan ducked his head as he spoke and Roman found it utterly adorable how he stumbled over his words.

"Wow, how do you just know all this? You're so smart, Logan." Roman said, partly because it was true and partly because he wanted to see how badly Logan did handle compliments.

He opened his mouth to say something but instead scoffed a little and shook his head, flustered and speechless and Roman couldn't help but to laugh a little. Logan at a loss for words? That was a first.

"I love you."

It kind of just slipped out and Logan's eyes widened. Roman was the one to become flustered now as he realized what he'd said.

Oh god.

He was an idiot. An idiot who could never keep his mouth shut and who was way too good at ruining things between him and Logan. Why had he no control over his mouth?

"Wh- what?" Logan said and Roman couldn't tell if that was disbelief, confusion, or disgust but he hoped for the first two. He really shouldn't have let those three words slip, if Logan didn't feel the same he was in no way ready to hear it. But there was not exactly any chance for him to take it back.

"I'm sorry, but I do. I'm in love with you, I've been in love with you for ages, and I'm sorry if this is sudden or if you don't feel the same and if I've now ruined this evening and our friendship by telling you this, the words just slipped." Roman said, more scared in this moment than he'd ever been before and it felt like an eternity before Logan did or said anything, at least enough time for Roman's heart to ache at the thought that he'd now fucked things up.

Then Logan reached to take Roman's hand and oh god, Logan was holding his hand, this might the best day of Roman's life.

"I've got romantic feelings for you too, Roman." He said and that might just be the most amazing thing anyone had ever told Roman and all he wanted to do was to pull Logan closer and kiss him because he didn't know in what other way to properly express what he was feeling.

But he decided to play it somewhat cool and instead kissed the back of Logan's hand, something that made Logan blush once again.

"Logan, be my boyfriend?" He asked.

"Yes, I think I would like that." Logan said and Roman briefly wondered if this was really happening or if it was one of those dreams that was going to break his heart once he woke up. But no, this seemed to be actually happening, despite the slight feeling of this being unreal.

He smiled brightly at Logan, still attempting to comprehend the recent events but it seemed impossible to fully grasp that not only was Logan capable of feelings, especially romantic feelings, but those feelings were directed to him, Roman!

He had never been happier to have been completely wrong.

Logan moved to sit a little closer, not letting go of his hand and Roman wanted to stay right there forever. Logan looked up at the imagination's sky again, smiled a little. Oh god, Roman was smitten.

"Would you like me to tell you about the star Alfa Ursae Minoris?" Logan asked, as if there was a chance Roman would say no to listen to his nerdy rambles.

"Please do."

--

Written: 18th, 19th, 20th, 23rd, 25th & 26th July 2020
Published: 23rd May 2021
Words: 5218

No sources used have been fact checked, don't trust anything lol

*feels self conscious and procrastinates proofreading for weeks*
*finally proofreads and realizes it wasnt as bad as I thought it would be*
*repeat*