Warnings: illness, fever, working while sick, sadness, bad mood, bad day, crying, sleep deprivation, one (1) hallucination, mentions possible anxiety, insecurity about ones work, self worth issues, sick logan, sleep deprived virgil, sad patton, insecure roman, im sorry lol

I swear these are mostly soft bois, affectionate bois making each other feel better lmao

--

Roman knocked on Logan's door and waited a few seconds, not getting much of a response. He hoped that meant he was asleep, because Logan had said during lunch that he wasn't feeling very well, and he'd looked a bit pale and tired.

Roman opened Logan's door anyway, not caring that he hadn't been told it was okay to enter, because what kind of boyfriend would he be if he didn't check in on him to make sure he was alright?

He, to no real surprise, immediately spotted Logan sitting by his desk, dressed in his unicorn onesie and typing away on his laptop. Roman audibly scoffed. If Logan thought he would be spending the day working if he was sick then he had mistaken himself.

"Logan, how are you feeling?" He asked, coming up next to him. He did not look any better and Roman placed his hand on Logan's forehead and realized he was burning hot. If there was one thing Logan shouldn't be doing right now it was working.

"I'm fine." He mumbled, voice raspy, continuing to type on his laptop and Roman winced and took Logan's hands in his, earning an annoyed look from him.

"Roman, we're behind schedule." Logan said. He knew how much Logan hated being behind schedule, but how could he worry more about that than his own health? Especially as he looked exhausted enough to pass out and fall off his chair any moment.

"And we will all gladly help with that, but for now you need to rest because you're sick and we don't want you to become any worse." Roman said and his boyfriend let out some upset muttering and tried to pull his hands from Roman's grip, no doubt to keep working. Roman let go of him, took a step back to take a moment to decide how to solve this without having to call for their other boyfriends and turn this into a whole discussion.

He got closer to Logan again, pulled him up from the chair which made Logan look very upset, but before he had the time to complain he simply lifted him up bridal-style.

"Wh- Roman, put me down." He ordered and made a weak attempt to get out of the situation. Despite how warm Logan was he was shivering, probably fevery. Logan leaned his head on Roman's shoulder with a sigh.

"This is incredibly rude, you know, you need to put me down right now!" He said but made no further attempt to get out of his hold. Roman ignored him and sank out of the room with him, into their living room where their two other boyfriends were sitting and watching youtube all cuddled up.

"Make room, guys." Roman said and Patton and Virgil scooted away from each other. Roman sat down between them, disgruntled Logan in his lap. Logan crossed his arms over his chest and Roman was about a hundred percent sure he was pouting in that adorable way he did when he was upset but too tired to argue.

"What's going on?" Patton asked, putting his phone away and grabbing one of the blankets lying next to him.

"I am perfectly fine, just a bit cold." Logan said, teeth clattering and Patton wrapped the blanket around him, then another one too.

"Logan has, probably, a high fever but still tries to work, and I'm not going to allow that. I call for a cuddle pile." Roman said, sensing Logan preparing to argue against him and apparently Virgil did the same because he reached his hands out to cup Logan's face, staring him straight in the eyes without saying a word. They did that sometimes, having wordless sort of conversations.

"...Fine, cuddle pile approved." Logan finally said and Virgil smiled, kissing his forehead.

"We'll watch that documentary about deep sea life you mentioned earlier this week." Patton suggested, moving a bit to the side so Logan could slide off Roman's lap and sit between them. Logan leaned his head on Roman's shoulder again and he put an arm around Logan.

"I'll be right back." Virgil said and hurried into the kitchen while Patton started up the documentary, then coming back with a glass of juice that he placed in front of Logan and a bowl of doritos that he set down on the table for anyone to grab.

Virgil sat down a bit from Roman, motioning for Patton to come sit with him, which he did after putting another blanket over Logan, and Roman too, since Logan was still noticeably shivering. Roman took Patton's hand, kissing the back of it, and Virgil laid down on the couch with his head in Patton's lap.

Roman felt Logan reach a hand out from his cocoon of blankets, putting an arm around Roman's middle and cuddling closer to him, a sign that he'd forgiven Roman from pulling him from his work.

Logan didn't make it through ten minutes of the documentary before falling asleep. Roman kissed the top of his head, hoping he'd sleep the fever away.

--

Roman was sitting by the kitchen table scrolling through instagram while waiting for Patton to finish baking cookies, they were planning to go out in the imagination soon, Patton wanting to pick some flowers and Roman wanted to get some sun before he became as pale as Virgil.

Said side just came into the kitchen, opening a cabinet and grabbing a glass. His expression made Roman worry slightly for him, he didn't seem very happy.

"V, you good?" Roman asked, but got no response, Virgil filling his glass of water and looking like he hadn't heard him. Patton neared Virgil and put a hand on his shoulder, making Virgil jump.

"You doing alright, love?" He asked and Virgil nodded absentmindedly.

"Yeah. Yeah, good." He said, not sounding very good at all but Roman didn't want to pester him about it because then Virgil might just become irritated and shut them out. It was better to give him a bit of time. He gave Patton a look and he turned his attention back to his phone, reading a long caption to a post, and Patton focused on his cookies as the timer just rang.

"Did you know you start to hallucinate if you haven't slept in a while?" Roman said looking up from his phone again, at Patton who was opening the oven and at Virgil who was holding his glass of water and looking like he'd forgotten what he was doing.

"How long do you need to be awake before starting to hallucinate?" Patton asked, taking a tray of cookies out of the oven. Virgil sat down on one of the chairs by the table and took a sip of his water.

"I think-" Roman began, but was interrupted by Virgil who was staring somewhere over Roman's shoulder.

"Seventy two hours." He said without hesitation.

"Oh really? How do you know?" He asked. That wouldn't have been his guess.

"There's a clown behind you." Virgil said, sounding more than a little out of it and Roman stood up and whirled around, sword in his hand, ready to see his brother creeping up on him. There was no one there and he turned back to Virgil and squinted at him, a feeling of suspicion growing stronger.

"Verge, when was the last time you slept?" He asked carefully and Virgil became very interested in drinking his glass of water. Patton gave him a look of concern.

"Sweetie, you need to get enough rest." He said and Virgil blinked several times when trying to focus on him. He looked like he'd collapse at any moment and Roman wondered how dark his eye bags were under his makeup.

"That's it, cuddle pile, Virgil's going to sleep." Patton said and Virgil didn't even complain which was a sign that he really was exhausted. Patton helped him up from his chair and he wobbled worryingly, Roman not hesitating to lift him up in his room and carry him.

"Who's room?" He asked Virgil and he mumbled something, Roman hearing the words 'Logan' and 'calm'. He took that as a sign that Logan's room was the right answer and the three of them were outside his door in a moment. Patton knocked and Logan opened quickly, smiling at the sight of them but looking slightly worried when noticing Virgil's state.

"When did he sleep last?" He asked and Patton's shrug was answer enough to his question.

"Cuddle pile, he wanted your room." Roman said, carrying Virgil past Logan and to his bed. He set him down carefully but Virgil was clinging to him so he laid down with him, trying not to coo at how cute he was because then he might stop.

Patton sat down on the bed with them and Logan closed the door to his room, dimming the lights but not turning them off completely. They all knew Virgil didn't enjoy sleeping in complete darkness, then he might panic if he woke up from a nightmare. (They'd learnt that the hard way.)

Roman snapped his fingers to change into pajamas seeing Patton and Logan do the same before joining them in the bed. Logan leaned over Roman to kiss Virgil's cheek, then Roman's too before lying down next to him, an arm around Roman's middle.

Patton looked at them all with adoration in his eyes, smiling at Roman and lying down next to Virgil who could barely keep his eyes open.

"Once you've gotten sufficient with rest I am going to remind you of the importance of keeping a healthy sleeping schedule." Logan said to Virgil who mumbled something Roman couldn't make out. He ran a hand through Virgil's hair and his boyfriend fell asleep within two minutes.

Maybe this wasn't exactly what either of them had planned for the afternoon but none of them minded, especially as Virgil rarely stayed up this long by choice which meant something was troubling him. They'd ask him about it later, for now Roman was going to take a nap since Virgil wasn't going to let go of him any time soon.

--

Roman woke up in Virgil's room, Virgil himself lying sprawled out next to him, still asleep. Roman stayed in bed a few minutes, getting used to consciousness, looking at Virgil who was looking adorable as always. Then he decided he should get up, a glance at his watch told him it was half past nine anyway and he was hungry.

The kitchen was empty but he didn't doubt that at least Logan was awake already, likely in his room working or having his breakfast in their garden in the imagination. Roman made himself a sandwich and poured up a glass of apple juice, sitting down by the table, playing some music from his phone and looking out the window while eating.

Maybe sitting in the garden and eating wouldn't have been such a bad idea, the weather was lovely. He got up from his chair to put his empty glass in the dishwasher and he saw movement in the corner of his eye. Remembering the time Remus had jumped him and put a hat with the words 'straight pride' on his head he turned around quickly, but it wasn't his brother, thankfully.

"Good morning, my dear." He said, smiling and gesturing for Patton to come closer. Patton looked up and smiled, and Roman felt his own falter. His smile looked forced and there wasn't the usual spark in his eyes, which was enough to make Roman feel a little worried.

"Pat, darling, how are you feeling?" He asked.

"I'm doing grea-" Patton began in a cheerful tone that would have fooled most people but then he paused and sighed, catching himself trying to keep his feelings from the others, and he shrugged instead, "I... don't know."

"Oh. Well, that's okay. Do you want a hug?" He reached his arms out and Patton nodded without hesitation, stepping closer and allowing Roman to put his arms around him. He pressed a kiss to Patton's temple.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He wondered and Patton shrugged again, hugging back and resting his forehead on Roman's shoulder.

"I just feel a bit emotional today is all. A bit of everything and nothing at the same time, if that makes sense." Patton let out a shaky laugh and Roman hugged him tighter.

"You don't have to be happy all the time, whatever you're feeling, or not feeling, is fine. I'm here for you, we're all here for you, no matter what." Roman reassured, trying his very best to say the right things, and Patton pulled himself out of the embrace, nodding and wiping tears from his cheeks. Roman knew crying was a healthy way to deal with emotions, but it always broke his heart to see one of his boyfriends cry.

"Do you want us to go get the others? Cuddle pile, maybe?" He asked and Patton sniffled and nodded, untying his cat hoodie from over his shoulders.

"I'd like that." He said, pushing his glasses up and drying his eyes before putting the hoodie on over his normal blue t-shirt.

"I don't even know why I'm crying, everything is just a lot and I feel... bad. Dull, if that makes sense." Roman pulled Patton into a hug again, kissing both his cheeks, standing there and holding him until Patton had pulled himself together a bit.

"Is Virgil still asleep?" Patton asked, stepping out of the embrace.

"I assume so. Want to go to his room?" Roman wondered and Patton nodded again. Roman lifted Patton up in his arms, slightly upset to notice that that didn't cheer him up, Patton would almost always smile and blush when Roman carried him.

They were soon in Virgil's room, said side having woken up when Roman set Patton down on his bed and Virgil was now drowsily hugging Patton, nearly falling back asleep on him.

Roman sent a quick text to Logan, then joining his two boyfriends in bed, giving Virgil a gentle and sweet good-morning kiss. Patton had stolen one of Virgil's blankets and was wrapping it around himself, cocooning himself in softness.

Then Logan popped up in the room a moment later, holding his laptop in his hands. He looked at them all, brows knitting in worry when his gaze landed on Patton. Roman hadn't explained at all why Logan was needed, he'd just texted him to come to Virgil's room for cuddles.

"Good morning," he said to them all, putting his laptop down on Virgil's bed as he climbed onto it, sitting himself down next to Roman, laptop on his thighs, "is there anything in particular that I can do for you, Patton?"

"No, can you guys just sit here with me, please?" Patton asked and Logan smiled a little, leaning over Roman to press a kiss to Patton's forehead.

"Of course, love." He said, then opening his laptop up and continuing whatever he was working on. Patton climbed between Roman's legs, leaning his back to his chest and Roman protectively put his arms around him. Virgil held one of Patton's hands, leaning against Roman with his covers pulled up to his nose, falling back asleep.

"Would you like to watch some animal videos?" Logan asked and when Patton nodded Logan reached for the remote to Virgil's tv, turning it on and finding youtube. Roman leaned his chin on Patton's shoulder.

"I love you so much, Pat, don't forget that, okay? You're so precious to me." He mumbled, hoping that no matter what Patton might ever go through he'd always know that Roman and the others were there for him, no matter what.

"Love you too. All of you, so much." Patton said quietly.

Then they all sat there together, watching an endless playlist of animal videos until Patton was smiling again, then spent another while telling Patton that no matter what he was feeling it was okay.

--

Roman had spent about three hours brainstorming video ideas to forward to Logan before giving up, everything he could think of was absolutely worthless and trash and he didn't see the purpose in continuing. Logan could probably do better without his 'help' anyway.

Admitting defeat he'd pulled his comfort hoodie on, he could not be feeling less princely or creative and he might as well wear something over-sized and comfortable that he could hide away in. Then he'd flopped down onto his bed, hugged one of his pillows and stared at nothing while trying not to think.

Which of course he failed at, sometimes there was no avoiding the fact that he was a disappointment and didn't deserve the title of creativity. He hadn't thought of anything good yesterday either, or the day before that. Soon even his boyfriends would become disappointed at his lack of creativity, he was sure of it.

And that thought was even worse.

Roman pulled at his hood to hide his face from the world, having more understanding for Virgil than ever. Right now wallowing in self pity and hiding in his hoodie was all he could really do, he didn't care that it'd only make him feel worse, with how he was already feeling he didn't think it could get much worse anyway. And what would it matter if he did?

Roman threw his pillow away and curled in on himself, feeling as if something was squeezing his chest together, making it difficult to take deep breaths and his chest ached. Roman wondered what his boyfriends would think if they saw how pathetic he really was. And, oh, right now the thought of his boyfriends did not make him feel any better because they were all so wonderful and smart and kind and good and cute and perfect and he was so... not.

He'd always feared the day they'd understand that. He pretended to be all those things, because that's who he wished he was, but no matter how confident he played he was still his pathetic self at the end of the day

Roman's self depreciation was interrupted by his door being opened and he sat up quickly with energy he didn't actually have, running a hand through his hair to make it less of a mess after the hours of having messed it up from frustration. He smiled at Virgil who was closing his door behind himself.

"Oh, sorry, we're you sleeping? I can leave again. Should have knocked, sorry." Virgil said when looking up and seeing the state of Roman, which probably meant he looked more of a mess than he'd hoped.

"No, please stay." Roman hurried to say, and Virgil smiled faintly.

"I just wondered if you wanted to watch a movie with me? Patton and Logan are busy discussing cooking which is, uh, boring." Virgil said, climbing onto Roman's bed and scooting close to him.

"I'd love to." Roman said, pulling Virgil in for a quick kiss because he just couldn't help himself. He may not deserve his boyfriends but that didn't mean he didn't need them. He nuzzled his head in the crook of Virgil's neck, arms coming to hug Virgil for just a few seconds before pulling away. Virgil gave him a look that Roman couldn't read.

"How about Ponyo?" Virgil then asked and when Roman nodded it only took him a few eager seconds to get the movie playing on Roman's tv. Then he made himself comfortable against all the pillows Roman still had on his bed.

Roman grabbed one of Virgil's hands, sitting and playing with his fingers during the movie to have something to do with his hands. The movie was not as distracting as Roman had hoped it might be and after ten minutes or so Virgil paused it, making Roman freeze slightly.

"Hey, are you good? You're kind of... quiet?" Virgil loosely grasped Roman's hand, noticeable worry in his eyes. (Was he really that loud? We're they annoyed by him?)

"...I may not be feeling my most fabulous self today." Roman admitted, not wanting to explain further than that. Virgil worried his lip between his teeth, then nodded.

"Well, you know, I'm always here if you need me, Ro. Okay? And so is Logan or Patton, no matter what." Virgil said and Roman felt himself become overly emotional over that little thing and he raised Virgil's hand to his mouth to press his lips to it.

"You're so great, I don't deserve you, not any one of you." Roman said and Virgil rolled his eyes and scoffed, looking at him with a smile that then faltered, maybe there was something in his expression that gave him away, alerted Virgil that Roman was very, very serious. Virgil's expression sort of softened and Roman looked away at the screen again.

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard." Virgil said and Roman didn't know what to reply to that, he only shrugged, sinking deeper into his hoodie.

"Roman." Virgil spoke his name unbelievably softly and Roman sighed, letting his head fall to his boyfriend's shoulder.

"I just can't seem to do anything worthy. I tried getting some work done earlier and I did absolutely nothing. My mind is blank. I'm the embodiment of creativity and yet I can't think of a single thing that's not a completely useless idea." Roman said with mixed feelings of despair and annoyance.

"I thought being insecure was my job, are you stealing my job, Ro?" Virgil said jokingly, running a hand through Roman's hair.

"We're sharing the burden, I guess." He said, careful to not move even an inch in case that would make Virgil stop.

"Cuddle pile?" Virgil asked and while Roman didn't want to pull his boyfriends from what they were doing just because he was a mess he did love the thought of them being here and paying attention to him and cuddling him or just simply sitting here with him. Not that he thought he deserved all that.

"Not if they're busy." Roman took his free hand, laced his fingers with Virgil's, pressing his lips to the back of his hand.

"Roman, let me just ask you this, have you ever been too busy for a cuddle pile when me or Lo or Pat have needed it? Don't think we wouldn't drop everything to make you feel better." Virgil kissed the top of his head, definitely sounding more sappy than he'd usually allow himself to be.

Virgil summoned the other two, who showed up excitedly discussing the best ways to cook shrimp, at first not even noticing that they'd been summoned. Then Patton seemed to notice the change in their surroundings and looked up, noticing the two of them. He seemed to immediately understand what was going on and dragged Logan to the bed, interrupting his rambling.

"Excus- oh, greetings," Logan said, noticing where he was and seeing him and Virgil, "what's the occasion?"

"Roman thinks he doesn't deserve us." Virgil said and Roman weakly hit his arm, they didn't need to know that, it'd only make the others upset, which will in turn make Roman feel worse. Unsurprisingly Patton made a saddened sound and took Roman's hand in his, tugging at it to make Roman look at him but he refused.

Logan approached it differently, actually climbing right up in Roman's lap which made it impossible not to see him since they were sitting face to face and Roman gave up and met his eyes.

"Dare you suggest you'd be less worthy to be in this relationship than any of the rest of us?" Logan said, a tone of voice that suggested it'd be unwise to answer that question with a 'yes'.

"If you deserve us or not is our decision, not yours." Logan continued, kissing Roman's forehead.

"Also he's insecure about his work too, told me that he thinks he doesn't do anything worthy." Virgil said, telling on him again.

"Virgil, shut up." Roman said with a pout and tried to place a hand over his mouth, not wanting his boyfriends to fuss further over him. They shouldn't have to.

"Roman, I'll gladly spend hours telling you how much I value your work and how impressive your creativity is, and that you don't need to constantly come up with amazing things and ideas to be worthy because then you will burn yourself out, of course we can't expect perfection of you. No one is perfect, and we don't want perfect, we want you. If you need me to then I will give you a detailed description of why you are, without a doubt, doing enough and doing your best." Logan said and Virgil nodded along for emphasis.

"Not- not now. I just want to cuddle with you guys and now have to think much. We can keep watching the movie Virgil and I started?" It was all Roman really wanted at the moment. His boyfriends reassurance was comforting but it also sometimes served as a reminder that he couldn't fully believe them.

"Of course." Patton squeezed his hand, kissing his cheek. Logan didn't move much, just so he was sitting in between Roman's legs, leaning his back against his chest. Roman liked having one of his boyfriends sitting like that, it was so easy for him to put his arms around him then, and it was much better than hugging some pillow.

Virgil pressed play on the movie and Roman leaned his chin on Logan's shoulder to watch it, thinking that their cuddle pile system was definitely the most comforting thing.

--

Written: 22nd, 23rd, 24th, 25th May 2020
Published: 7th April 2021
Words: 4340

Uhh yeah I really hoped u enjoyed <3