Art at the top isn't mine.

Tw: Implied suicide at the end, angst, strong language, Roman centric, slightly unsympathetic everyone, slightly manipulative sides

Italics: The recording

The recording clicked on, an easily recognizable voice filtering though the phone.

Dear Thomas.

I don't think you'll ever hear this, but just in case I guess.

I visited Emile today. He told me to talk to someone. To talk to you. He said that you'd know about what I was going through, y'know, since I'm a part of you.

But I can't get myself to do that, so here we are. Next best thing, right? Talking to a recording that you'll never hear.

Anyway... I hope your doing well. I'm actually working on something for you right now. Maybe you'll see it soon. Or, more likely, it'll just end up in the trash like everything else.

I'm sorry, okay? I'm meant to protect you, to build you up- But that stupid emo is keeping your from reaching that potential!

I wish Anxiety would just-.... I don't know. Leave you alone. I can't protect you from him. Cause he's a side and he won't ever go away. He's a main side , which is even worse.

I can't prove it yet, but he's somehow related to my damn brother.

Everyone likes him better... They defend him and he's their favorite and I'm left... waiting in the wings.

I mean, ever since he came, everything has been 'Anxiety this, Anxiety that.' Barely anyone has spared me even one thought...

Ugh. I don't know...

Bye.

Virgil bit his lip, leaning back against the wall, as the next recording started.

Dear Thomas,

Virgil.

....

His name... is Virgil.

A loud, pained, scream echoed from the phone.

I know he's important. I do. But- he's just such- UGH!

What kind of name is that anyway?! And ducking out? He knew what could happen, he's literally Anxiety, he would think of the repercussions.

He's such an attention seeker, I swear.

Like I'm any better, I guess. If someone's not giving me attention exactly when I want it, I have a break down.

I'm such a hypocrite. But maybe it's just in my nature. I'm the Ego.

...

But I'm failing Thomas - or, you, I guess- at being even that. How can I keep you happy and proud of yourself if I can't even do the same for myself?

"Roman, no. You're not-" Thomas was cut off by the dejected Royal's voice.

Even Calculator Watch would be better at my own job then me! He would know what he had to do, and get it done ahead of time.

I can't even get it in late. When you need ideas, I have to be able to supply them. But when you ask, I come up empty handed. I can't even think of anything original.

I'm so fricking useless! I can't do anything right.

Roman's past self took several deep breaths before speaking again.

I don't even know what I'm saying anymore.

The recording cut off abruptly, and Logan hesitantly clicked on the next one.

Dear Thomas,

I'm so glad you liked my new outfit. And Virgil's!

Whew! Where did he learn to sew?!

Oh, Patton is calling me for movie night. We haven't had one of those in so long.

He trailed off, his previously ecstatic voice turning melancholy.

Whatever. I gotta go.

Bye~!

Patton smiled softly, wiping the tears from his eyes. Happy his kiddo was happy again.

But it didn't last for long.

Dear Thomas,

I miss him so much. I just wish we could get him back.

And my wishes are yours! I can't fail you this time. We will get him back!

We could buy him his favorite chocolate and flowers, and put a wonderfully poetic note on it, and he will have no choice but to fall in love with us again!

Or- Or! Building on that a letter and even more of his favorite things in a basket.

Oh, I'm a genius! I have to go tell, you know, real you.

Ciao~

Virgil huffed and shook his head, a small, sad, smile gracing his lips.

Oh, how wrong I was. I was so wrong, I couldn't even start this out right! Ugh!

I'm sorry. I shouldn't have tried so hard. I shouldn't have given you that bit of creativity or- or love for someone long gone.

And Patton. How did I not notice? I'm literally the embodiment of love, how did I not sense it?!

And what else has he been hiding that I completely missed? What if it was my fault, for pushing as much as I did? What if...

Recording Roman sighed.

I have a lot to think about.

Bye.

"Kiddo, it was never your fault." Patton sobbed, and Janus went to comfort him.

Dear Thomas,

They really hate me, don't they?

I mean, I worked so hard to get them the sweaters and the song - which was very difficult to write - and all they do is tear me down.

They edit my ideas so often, so much, that sometimes I don't even recognize them anymore.

But, when I fixed it they were happy. They were proud. Maybe I'm the one doing things wrong. Yeah. They wouldn't hurt me so much if that wasn't the truth.

I have to do better. Maybe if I don't let things like that slip through editing anymore, they won't have to catch them.

And everyone will be happy.

Yeah. That's it.

I have to go edit some scripts.

See ya.

All of the present light sides and Thomas hung their heads, or raised them to the ceiling, begging for forgiveness. None of them had meant to hurt him, but...

They had.

Dear Thomas,

Deceit.

Why the h*ll is he even here?! And what's up with him and Virgil?

And impersonating Patton like that?! Seriously! That's a low blow.

At least Padre is okay.

But what does this mean for you? And the rest of the Dark Sides? Or for us?

I'm actually kinda proud of the Dark sides thing, but Virgil didn't seem to like it.

It's a good name for them. They're all black and they literally live in a shadowy cocoon! At least they did the last time I saw the place.

We're getting off topic!

Who does Deceit think he is?

I mean... he has been the first to compliment me in so long. Even if it wasn't genuine. It felt good.

Patton and Virgil would kill me for liking him even the slightest bit though.

I mean, they have a good reason. He's evil.

Right?

I don't even know what to think anymore.

Bye.

Janus was looking away from all of them, but still felt the burning glare of Virgil, and the sad or angry glances of the others.

Dear Thomas,

Who does Logan even think he is?! Life is not at all facts and figures! Nobody would do anything if it was!

And he tried so hard to crush all of my ideas. Nothing is good enough for him!

And I'm not a jerk!

...

Right?

Whatever, of course not! I can't be.

Not the point! I just want a mansion! Is that so hard to ask?! The minute I thought of it, Logan  just crushed the idea before it even had time to fully form in the imagination!

It's not stupid!

And we can't just hide away for Thomas' entire life! We should be going on adventures, taking risks! Even if we do get hurt, it's worth it.

Being quiet and careful and perfect sounds like wasting the life we were 'gifted' to me. What's the point in not doing anything?

We'll just be sad and lonely all our lives. Like Scrooge, at the beginning of the story! It's my duty to never let anything like that happen.

I won't.

Logan shifted uncomfortably and hastily pressed the next button.

Dear Thomas,

How?!

Logan is so stuffy and studious and boring, yet he's still somehow the favorite?

I'm over here, being my best self, nice and creative and helpful, and they still like him better?

Is it because he's smart?

I know so many more languages than him! Spanish, German, French, Russian, even Latin.

All he knows is stupid English.

Yet even Crofter's likes him better.

I mean, of course I'm excited, I'm thrilled! I might even get my own!

I just can't help but be jealous. But that's my problem. Not his.

Ugh.

Until next time.

Logan didn't look up for a second as Roman's voice played, slamming the next button with only a second's hesitation.

Dear Thomas,

I'm sorry. I almost gave in to Deceit. He was just so kind.

But what if he was right?! I know I shouldn't think that, and I hate myself for it, but that callback is everything!

It could have changed our lives forever! Instead we're stuck right back where we were before, sad and alone. And we have to attend a stupid wedding you don't even want to go to in the first place instead.

It's just not fair! Lee and Mary Lee won't even care either way.

Either way, I failed. You won't live our dream, and I sided with Deceit.

No one's happy now. Not even Patton.

He sighed, then in a faint voice, said,

Bye.

Janus had long since backed away from Patton, and now stood alone in a corner, unnoticed tears quickly wiped form his human cheek.

Dear Thomas,

How could I be so blind?! Remus was right behind me.

And weak...! One little flick and I was out for more than 30 minutes! What did he tell you over that time?

And what will you do now that you know? Know that I used to be someone else entirely. And that I am so closely related to him?

Please don't make me go back. Just let me be me, not a fusion with him.

Please. I don't wanna go back. Please.

I'm sorry.

His last words before the recording stopped seemed to echo in Thomas' mind. Had Roman really thought he'd make the twins go back to who they were before he even knew they existed?

Dear Thomas,

I'm not sure about how comfortable you've grown with Remus. If he doesn't matter now, how long until I stop mattering?

Or did I become unimportant already? Am I even still your hero? I have to be. Otherwise, what good am I, if I can't help you.

Janus visibly flinched. 

We really should have gone to that party.

I need to go lie down.

Bye.

The next recording started almost immediately.

Only loud sobbing could be heard, along with a a few 'I'm sorry's and 'I knew it's. Then a crash, glass shattering, and a heart wrenching scream. The scream of a broken person.

Then heavy breathing. And almost silence. The only sounds quieter than a mouse.

Goodbye, Thomas.