Hold my hand.

I'm scared of losing my way, I'm scared of getting lost. I'm scared of losing you.

Please, hold my hand.

It's cold without you by my side, my fingers are freezing cold and stiff, aching to be interlaced with your own warm ones.

Hold my hand...

Please, I'm like a child facing the world all on my own. I'm not ready, I'm still inexperienced, I'm still vulnerable.

You look at me with those beautiful mocha eyes, the same ones that have seen me at my worse and my best, the ones that soften every time they meet my own. The ones that light up when I smile and the ones that tear up when I'm in pain. I can't help but to fall for you all over again each time you smile at me, the way it can brighten up anyone's mood no matter how upset they are is what entrances me.

So, please hold my hand.

I don't want to let you go yet. I'm not ready to face this world without you.

You are my purpose of living in this world, without you what will I have? What will become of me?

I toss and turn restlessly on the bed, my chest feels tight, I can't find sleep as these thoughts fill my mind. I'm anxious, of course it's to be expected of me. I'm literally the embodiment of anxiety, but why now is it so hard to handle it? Why can't I calm down?

Why am I like this?

I feel the bed shake, it takes me a while to realize that it's not the bed that's shaking. I'm the one who's trembling, trembling so hard that the bed trembles beneath me. I wheeze, my breathing becomes laboured and I claw at my throat desperately. The bundle of blankets beside me shuffles and you suddenly sit up, your hair disheveled and your wide eyes meet mine. I cough and squeeze my eyes shut, hating that you always have to see me like this, I know something is wrong with me, but is it still bad that I still want you to be here with me?

Warm hands tug at my own and pull them away from my throat. “Shh, it's okay love, I'm here. You're okay, just breathe.” I'm pulled into a warm and safe embrace, my cheek presses against a strong chest. Immediately I recognize your familiar calming scent and I slowly calm down, your hands hold my own and your lips press against my head. I sigh and open my eyes, I lift my head and feel my heart stop, you always know how to dazzle me. Even if it's unintentionally, I guess that just shows how perfect you are to me.

You smile at me and stroke my hair back so that you can get a better look at my face. I blush and try not to look away, because despite my shyness, I don't want to lose any second of this. I want to take in all your features, all your little quirks and perfect smile. You chuckle and lie back down, pulling me down with you, I scoot closer to you and you hold me close with your arm while your other arm rests on your stomach and your hand holds mine.

My heart soars and a small smile tugs at my lips.

You hold my hand, and for tonight I feel safe.

For tonight only, you are by my side, holding my hand.

And when I wake the next day, I find that you're still here.

Holding my hand, holding me close.

Holding me together. And loving me.

Thank you...

I love you so much.