Roman PT. 1

Hey, I know I have a request, but, I just wanted to do this small mini series, so, I'm sorry Scars_And_Darkness
It'll have toxic Prinxiety, toxic Patton and Janus, eating disorders, vomit, self harm, and just angst in general, as well as some swearing. Also some cat calling/touching that was unconsented, but no smut!! I really want to write Roman angst-

The song is Prom Queen by Beach Bunny

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"Shut up, count your calories. I never looked good in mom jeans."

Roman hunched over the toilet, having just shoved his fingers in his mouth to make himself throw up.

He coughed, his legs shaking as he cried, his stomach sore and eyes heavy. He hasn't eaten much, just a piece of toast.

"Wish I, was like you; Blue-eyed blondie, perfect body."

Patton was who he aspired to be, look was. His pale, freckled skin. His curly blonde hair... he was perfect.

And Janus, where could he begin?

Everyone, absolutely loved him. They wanted to be him...

So you'd think Roman would be happier now that they have been saying for awhile. Well, Patton forced it, but still.

The two treated him horribly, and started this whole mess.

"Roman, maybe you should loose a few pounds..." Patton said, gesturing to his stomach. "If you want to hang out with us, you have to be skinny."

And damn, those words stuck to him for months.

He at first tried to do it in a healthy way, exercising, eating healthy.

But it was never enough.

Not for Patton, not for Janus.

"Maybe I should try harder. You should lower your expectations."

"Roman!" Janus snapped, cashing Roman to flinch. "I told you to wear the short shorts and crop top today! If you're going to be with us, don't be such a pussy!" He snarled.

"I'm not Quick-Curl Barbie. I was never cut out for Prom Queen."

He was always insulted by the two, but his need to be liked blinded him from the reality. The reality of how people treated him. Like an object, willing to be used at command.

"If I get more pretty, do you think he will like me?"

Roman secretly had a crush on Virgil, the only reason he really dealt with Patton and Janus. He wanted to impress him.

The only issue was, well, Janus. He was stuck with him until Janus was sick of him. Which he was surprised hadn't happen yet.

He stayed skinny for him. Pretty for him. He got up early to do make-up for him. He dressed for him.
(Slutty is what he meant)

He just wanted to impress the emo that he cared so deeply for.

"Dissect, my insecurities. I'm a defect surgical project. There's a plastic wrap in my cheeks."

Remus, his brother had tried to help Roman, but he wouldn't listen. He couldn't believe him.

Remus had heard him throwing up. He knew his parents wouldn't give a shit, so he had to do something.

"Maybe I should try harder. You should lower your beauty standards. I'm no Quick-Curl Barbie. I was never cut out for Prom Queen."

Roman lowered the knife to his forearm shakily. He took a long and deep slice into his arm, crying as he did so.

The teenager sobbed heavily. He ran back to the bathroom, cleaning up the blood and mess.

He then shakily wobbled to the toilet, panting as he shoved the fingers down his throat. He gagged and vomited into the toilet.

He then stood up, flushed it, and looked in the mirror.

He frowned as he looked at his pale reflection, eye bags deep. He quickly put on his makeup, hiding any evidence of being tired.

"If I'm pretty, will you like me? They say beauty makes boys happy. I've been starving myself, carving skin until my bones are showing."

It was like any other school day: Patton made Roman dress in skimpy clothes, Janus insulted and slapped him, he got cat called, and touched. Normal. Until he talked to him.

Virgil, fucking Virgil, had noticed and talked to him. And suddenly the two years of abuse was worth it.

"Teach me how to be okay. I don't to downplay my emotions."

The two had started to hang out more with each other.

They vented to each other, shared things they thought they never would.

They got close... too close for Janus' comfort.

But even with Virgil, Roman still had to be "beautiful" for everyone else. Even though he didn't want to. He wanted to be normal for once.

"They say beauty is pain. You'll only be happy if you look a certain way."

Janus and Virgil fought. They fought over many things during one school day.

This day changed almost everything for Roman.

Janus had smacked Roman hard that day. And Virgil saw. He had to protect him.

After they argued, Roman was free. Janus had dumped him, and he had never felt so relived.

He could be happy with Virgil now. Just them, no Patton or Janus. Just them, happy and alone.

"I'm wanna be okay. I wanna be okay."

848 words! I hope you enjoyed, and stay safe!! Part two will be out sometime ♡♡♡

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