This is dedicated to my bestest awesomest coolest little sib, queer_as_can_be  Its their birthday! I wanna just say thank you so much for everything you've done for me bee, your an amazing friend/sib.  You've helped me so much when I was worried over something, as I've done for you. And I really appreciate that. I hope you have a lovely day today bee!

TW- self harm, gory intrusive thoughts, slight neglect, fighting, a couple swears

Remus groaned, flopping into Remy's bed. Remy gave little to no acknowledgement, and so he groaned louder, hoping to get his attention.

"What?" Remy snapped, wincing right after and softly apologizing for the tone. Remus whined.

"I want... no need! Attention" he grumbled, sprawled across Remy's bed. There was also the fact he had relapsed again... the bandages at his wrists were barely enough to cover them. He didn't exactly want to mention it though. It had been a few hours ago, and he was trying to forget. And Remy always made him feel better.Remy sighed, turning and looking at Remus.

"And I need peace and quiet without distractions if I'm going to get this damned sleep schedule right, but we don't exactly always get what we want now do we?" He huffed, turning back in his chair, not noticing his tone. Remy had troubles with both tone indicators and knowing which tone he himself was using. Nobody in the mindscape exactly knew why, but nobody pushed to find out either. Remus however always took tones to the next level, or mixing them up completely. Always thinking a irritated tone was a pissed off one, or a happy tone to be a bored one. He relied heavily on someone else to know what it was, and hoped he could read what the others were. A crappy system, especially when alone.

"I thought Logan did the sleep schedule?" He mumbled, believing whole heartedly that Remy was pissed. Remy sighed loudly, looking at Remus.

"Remus, I just said I need peace and quiet did I not?" He sighed, rubbing his eyes. Remus flinched a tad, unseen by Remy. He nodded softly, getting up as quietly as he could and going back to his room. It was the only place he could've gone anyways. He was really only welcome in Janus' and Remy's rooms, and his own of course. But Janus was out on a platonic date with Patton at the moment, and wouldn't be back until late that night. And so, he went back to his room with tears threading to spill, and his thoughts overwhelmingly taking over his mind. As he sat in his floor, crying softly. His arms itched. He knew that itch too. One he had been getting better at with Remy's help. But now Remy wasn't here, and the urge to see his blood flowing out of him was almost too tempting. Almost. He closed his eyes tightly, trying to imagine Remy sitting there with him holding his arms and whispering sweet words to him in the quiet room, the only other sound being Remy's music. He looked around his room for a moment, searching for his phone as his thoughts got even louder, screaming at him to tear his skin open and see the blood, to slice open his neck while screaming to know if the movies had it right. He couldn't find it, but found the octopus plush that was weighted that Remy had given to him to help him calm down. He scrambled to grab it, setting it on his lap and placing his arms under it to try and resist the urge to grab the razor blade in the bathroom. He closed his eyes again, breathing deeply.

When Remus finally opened his eyes again, he found he'd fallen asleep on the floor, his plushie not far from him. He moved his arm to grab it, flinching at the blood and pain that followed. He looked at his lousy bandaged arms, clenching his eyes closed, he pushing himself up with a quiet whimper, going to his bathroom before turning remembering what laid in the bathroom. He walked out his door, going to Janus' with his still bleeding arms dripping and soaking into the plush that was always stained with the thick red liquid. He knocked on Janus' door, hoping he was there. Janus opened the door, blinking blearily up at Remus.

"What?" He mumbled, tired and confused. Remus held his plush tighter, looking away. "It's two in morning" he grumbled beefier rubbing his eyes and catching the sight of Remus' bleeding arms. He woke up quite fast after that, dragging Remus, who by now had started to cry, into his room and setting him on the bed.

"I-I'm sorry" Remus whispered, curling into himself, his plush in the middle. Janus shushed him, taking the bandages he kept around along with some gauze, settling in front of Remus.

"Why didn't you go to Remy before this all happened?" Janus asked. Remus sniffled, shaking his head.

"H-He...." Remus shook, "busy..." he whimpered. "Kicked... kicked me out" He muttered, winching as Janus started to peel the sticky bandages from his destroyed wrists. Janus winched too, looking at the skin. He wiped away some blood, as must as he could before pressing gauze to the skin, wrapping it up. Before doing the same to the other side.

Remus ended up staying with Janus for the rest of the night, with Janus promising to clean the blood from Remus' octopus in the morning, not mentioning the chat he'd have with Remy. Remus fell back to sleep, quite restless this time around. Remus woke up again around 10, finding Janus standing over him lightly shaking him. He blinked, looking at him.

"Hey... you want to talk to Remy with me?" He asked lightly. Remus shrugged, looking down at his ruined octopus plush.

"I guess.." he whispered. Janus nodded, helping Remus up.

"Let's go find him, I'll beat the shit outta hun yeah?" Janus joked softly. Remus chuckled, it sounding forced, shaking his head.

"No... it'll make me feel worse in all likely hood." He mumbled, holding tight to his plush. Janus nodded, knocking on Remy's door. You could hear a groan, before the door opened with such force Remus would've flinched if he hadn't expected it.

"What?" He snapped, looking at Janus, not seeing Remus quite yet. "What's so important that you had to bug me while I plan something?" He grumbled, frowning heavily. Janus stared at him.

"Where's your boyfriend?" He snapped, "have you checked on him? Made sure he's eaten like he's done for you may time? Made sure he was feeling alright? Made sure he wasn't close to a relapse?" Janus said loudly, making Remus flinched, the action making Remy notice him, his eyes widening at the sight of Remus.

"What... Babes what happened?" He asked quickly, going over to Remus and pulling him into the warm, coffee smelling room, iconic of Remy, Janus following and closing the door.

"It's called fucking neglect" Janus snapped. Remus struggled, stepping out of Remy's arms. "You neglected to make sure he was okay, that he wasn't in the verge of relapsing. But no, your work is so much more important then your boyfriend bleeding out and waking me at two in the morning to fix his bandages isn't it?" He hissed, looking over rat Remus who was holding back tears. "I'm not his boyfriend, I'm his best friend. And I thought that you of all people would be able to help him get better and that you both would be happy, I guess I was fucking wrong, wasn't I Remy?" Remy stared in shock, looking at Remus and Janus.

"I-" Janus shook his head, glaring Remy down.

"Try and save yourself, let's see if you can be an actually good boyfriend" Remy shook his head, looking at Remus and going closer. Remus took a half step back, and Remy stopped, sleazing his hands and offering them the Remus. Remus stared, before taking one. Remy rubbed soft circles in his palm.

"I'm sorry octo... really, you should've said something... and I should've listened more too, when did this happen?" Remy asked lightly. Remus shrugged.

"Yesterday before I came in for attention..." he whispered. He noticed that Janus had left now, and looking back to Remy. "I'm sorry" he mumbled. Remy shook his head, leading Remus over to the bed to sit.

"You shouldn't be sorry... I'm extremely sorry though Remus.. really babes... I should've been paying attention, and giving you attention. And not just yesterday either, I'm mean lately in general. I've been lousy and not paying attention to you at all, for that, I'm extremely sorry and I'll do whatever you want me to to make up for it okay?" Remy said lightly. "I'll even cuddle with you for a week straight if that's what you want okay? I'll stop working for a bit, it'll be fine" Remus sniffled, shaking his head.

"Can we just cuddle for right now... I'm tired and cold..." he whispered, shaking lightly. "I feel lonely... and I've ruined my octopus plush..." he added. Remy smiled softly.

"You didn't ruin him... let me go clean him up and then we can cuddle for however long you want, i promise." Remus nodded, snapping his fingers to change his clothes from the blood soaked ones into some pajamas, laying under Remy's covers. He watched as Remy left the room before coming back a moment later, his plush brand new looking. "Here babe..." he said lightly, crawling into bed after giving the plush back.

Remy did keep to his promise. For the next month or so, if Remy was ever working and Remus came in, he'd stop and do whatever Remus wanted. Like now, he was sorting the dreams, finding which ones were important and not, but when Remus walked in, seeming fine, he got up and pulled him into a hug and kissed him lightly.

"Hows my amazing, awesome, super talented boyfriend doing?" Remus whimpered, shoving his face into Remys shoulder. "Oh babe, what's wrong?"

"M bad... so bad..." he whispered, his eyes blown wide. Remy shook his head, bringing Remus to the bed to sit.

"No, your the best, most wonderful and caring person I know, so what makes you think that hun?" Remus shook his head, tapping his head after. Remy tutted.  "Some nasty thoughts again?" Remus nodded, waiting for Remy to take his hands, tell him it's okay, put on some music and go back to work, that's how it had been for awhile before Remus' relapse. But, Remy instead, turned on the soft music, pulling Remus into his lap and rocking him, singing to the songs softly. Remus ended up smiling softly, his thoughts slowly retreating as he fell asleep.

And that was how it was, Remy stared to take his job easier, finding more time for Remus, making sure his lovely boyfriend was doing okay. He realized how horrible he had been that day, and even before that, and changed, making sure that the two were both, happy with the relationship.