Prompt: &t=8s

Fandom: Thomas Sanders – Sanders Sides

Date: August 21, 2019

AU: None

TW: Mentions of Suicide (sort of), manipulative relationships

WC: 1,311

My God, my heart beats faster!

And my mind is racing

Could it be...?

Could it be that you've come back to life?

Patton looked down the hallway at the new side that had formed. His dark grey jacket hung loosely on his body and dark eye shadow covered the bags under his eyes. The trait's shoulders were slumped and there was a protectively angry look in his eyes.

"He... hello kiddo! My name is Patton, and I'm Thomas' heart and morality, but you can call me dad." He did a thumbs up across his body, trying to show the new anxiety a bit of happiness and comfort.

"What's up? I'm anxiety."

Patton smiled, fighting back the heartbreak that threatened in his eyes. "Let me show you around." Just recently he had lost Virgil, and now his doppelganger stared at him. Patton tried to keep up a smile on his face. He knew he shouldn't lie about his emotions, but he also knew that Virgil... no, he wasn't allowed to use that name yet, Anxiety, would be anxious if he showed any sign of pain.

"Are there other sides or are we the only two?"

"No, of course there are others." He clapped his hands, moving them in front of a black and grey door. This door used to be filled with bright purple swirls, but the color had faded when Virgil had. "The others are resting in their rooms. We had a major loss recently and everyone is a bit... drained." He forced a smile.

"What about you? Aren't you drained? Shouldn't you be resting, or worrying about the others?"

Patton put his hand on Anxiety's shoulder, gently giving it a squeeze. He flinched and Patton had to pull away, fighting the pain once again. "I am okay kiddo. Of course I'm also upset, but I'm a dad. I have to protect my kiddos. I will go check on all of them once I make sure you are all settled in. This is going to be your room, but I will happily show you around to the common room and the kitchen.

Something flashed through the darker trait's eyes, but it faded faster than it can. He shrugged. "Whatever, no skin off my back. I am going to get used to my room. We can continue the tour later."

Patton sighed, watching after Anxiety. He missed his dark strange son, and for a brief second he thought he might have seen it.

I know those eyes, following me

Dark and familiar, and deep as the sea

I know that face, strange though it seems

Younger and kinder, it haunts all my dreams

How can you stand there, a whisper from me?

Yet somehow, be so far away?

A month had passed since Anxiety had reformed. He kept his black jacket, not changing into the beautiful purple that all three traits missed. Patton did everything he could to make Anxiety feel welcome.

It didn't seem to work.

Anxiety turned down offers to movie nights and family dinners. He rarely left his room and spoke to the others even less, but none of the sides could stand it.

Patton had been trying since the beginning, going up to Anxiety's room every day. Each and every day, Patton tried to hang out with him. Each and every day he was turned down. It was slowly eating at him. It was harder and harder to force a smile.

Logan was the next to break. He knocked on Anxiety's door. He hadn't knocked on this door since the day Virgil faded. The door slowly opened, and it was obvious that the darker trait was surprised.

"Yes Logic? What do you need?

In eyes once familiar, a stranger I see

With so many words left to say

Those words stung. There was no malice in Anxiety's voice, but he hadn't been referred to as Logic in a very long time. "We are all very concerned about your well-being, Anxiety."

"I have just been going through everything left in this room."

"Was it not empty when you received it?"

"No, it was not."

"Well," He adjusted his tie, "Do you have any questions about what you have found?"

"No, a lot of my questions were answered with this." He held up a black book that Logan had never seen before.

"If I might ask, Anxiety, what is that book? I have not seen it before."

"His... my journal."

Logan froze. That was the last thing they needed the new Anxiety to find. He didn't want a repeat of what had happened.

Anxiety flipped through the journal until he found the right page and handed the book to Logan.

'I feel so alone. Even if they pretend to accept me, I can still feel their scorn. They haven't even noticed I feel back into bad habits. I can't blame them; I didn't want them to know. I'm tired.' It was dated just one day before the fading. Logan flipped the page.

'I can't anymore. I have been thinking about it for a while. I'm sorry dad. I know this will hurt you, but I promise you will be better without me. Logan, you won't have to put up with me begin paranoid or expressing an unhealthy amount of concern. Roman, I'm sorry. I think you will miss me the least.' Logan couldn't help but drop the book.

"I'm not him. I'm not going to allow myself to get close to you all, just to be left behind and abandoned."

Logan heard his words, but it didn't make sense, even reading the journal Anxiety shouldn't be affected this deeply. Could he possibly remember everything? Could this possibly their Virgil?

"Now, if that is all Logic, I would like to return to my brooding."

Logan couldn't fight it as Anxiety closed the door on him, but he still held the journal in his hands.

This man is dead, he is no more

He died a little each day

Like a thief, the Château d'If has stolen him away

The mind plays tricks

You are confused

The man you seek is long gone

Dead and cold

A story told, by those he trusted,

those he loved, and those who then...

moved on

Virgil slid down the door, sitting on the floor as he chased Logan away. He remembered everything. He remembered allowing himself to fade, he remembered every lonely night, every broken day. It had come back in pieces over the past month. He couldn't be who they wanted him to be. Fading broke a trait in a way that was hard to explain.

"Good job Virgil." A dark shadow formed in his room. "You have once again chased away those who care about you. I am so proud of you."

Virgil knew there was no hint of a lie in the snake's voice.

"I did what you asked."

"I'm so proud." Deceit walked over and knelt in front of Virgil, grabbing his face. "You are the one who asked for my help. Now I will give it, but you must live with the consequences."

"I am aware. I cannot escape."

"Come with me?"

I am a ghost, just a mirage

Who chases traces of you

This man is dead,

he is no more

And though it's torturing me

Can either of us really ever be free?

How can you stand there a whisper from me...?

When you are still so far away?

And why does the truth seem too hard to be true?

With so much broken...

And so much damage

There are no words

Left to say...

Virgil followed Deceit. They had had a plan before, and it was now back on track. He would follow, he would behave, and he would wait for the light sides to lock him away. This is what happened to a broken doll. 

AN: Once again, this is unedited. Sorry y'all. I didn't mean for it to happen this way. It has just been a heck of a week with me being sick. Please let me know what you think!