That was a title and a half!

Warning: Sex is mentioned and Spoilers for FRIENDS season 5 episode 14!!!

Patton's eyes widened in horror.

He had just walked into Logan's bedroom to gather clothing and to his horror he saw Logan and Roman, having rough sex on the intelligent sides bed.

Patton ran out and into the living room where his secret lover of ten months and his host where watching movies.

"Roman and Logan! Logan and Roman! They were- they were-"

Virgil got up and placed his hands gently on Patton's shoulders, "they were what? Calm down..."

"They were having sex!!!"

Thomas paused the movie, "I know what they're doing. Trust me Pat, I tried to stop them-"

"No, no, no, no, no! So whenever they were 'planning a video' or, 'helping Thomas stay healthy they were-"

"Doing it... apparently..." Virgil confirmed.

Thomas sighed, "it's nice but... still... it's be better if they weren't just 'doing it'."

"Sooo..." Virgil trailed off and looked to Thomas, "they know that you know and they don't know that we know..."

"Yes." Thomas said, "but! It doesn't matter anymore. We can just tell them we know!"

Virgil smirked, "or... we could not tell them we know and we could have a bit of fun ourselves."

Patton thought, "what do you mean!"

"Well, you know?" How Virgil hoped his partner would agree, "when they say they gonna come up with video ideas we give them a book of our own ideas to look over."

There was silence, then Thomas spoke, "Virgil, don't. That's so mean, that could-"

"I like it." Smiled Patton, it was just harmless fun after all. Besides they'd tell eventually."

Thomas smiled, "you know what'd be more fun?... Telling them!"

"Yeah, no. I wanna do Virgie's idea."

"Noooo! No more secrets!" Cried Thomas, "I got there secrets, I got your secrets-"

"What secrets?!" Asked the also secret couple in slight fear.

"You know? Virgil's... creative hobby and Patton's love of... certain food..."

"Oh..." Patton said.

"Ok so you have our secrets-"

"I have my own secrets too!"

Patton laughed, "you don't have any secrets."

"Oh yeah? Well you don't know about my Harry Potter love story fan fictions, specially Wolfstar and Drarry...."

Virgil and Patton stared at him, in silent judgement.

"So!" Patton said turning to his Virgil, "how are we going to mess with them?"

"Oh! Uh... you can use the position as the best friend and - not to brag - but I can use my flirting ability to mess with Logan."

Patton stared at Virgil, "you're going to flirt with Logan?"

"Confusing, right?"

"Salutations." Logan said, walking in holding a book.

"Watch and learn." Smirked Virgil, walking over.

"Salutations Virgil." Logan said, seeing Virgil.

"Hey!" Virgil smirked, noticing Logan was wearing a new blazer, "ooh, wow that blazer looks great on you!"

Logan looked at him confused, "really?" He asked, somewhat relieved someone noticed even if Roman hadn't.

Virgil ran his hand up the sleeve, "yeah the material feels so soft," his hand ran over Logan's 'bicep', "oh! Hello Mr. Bicep! Have you been working out?"

"Well, I type a lot." Logan replied, even more confused, Virgil began to giggle uncontrollably, making Logan worry. "Are you okay?"

"Well, if you really wanna know, I'm - Oh! I can't tell you this." Virgil looked away shyly.

Patton hadn't realised he began glaring daggers into Logan's head until Thomas shook him, "Pat? You ok?"

"I'm fine kiddo!" He smiled.

"Virgil, it's me." Logan said, worriedly and closed his book to show he had his undivided attention, "you can tell me anything."

"Well actually you're the one person I can't tell this too." He sighed, "and the one person I want to the most."

"What's going on?" Logan asked.

"I think it's just y'know that I haven't been with a guy in so long and how sometimes you're looking for something and you just don't even see that it's right there in front of you holding a book-" Virgil gasped as Logan's eyes widened, "oh no, have I said to much? Well it's just something to think about. I know I will." Virgil winked.

Virgil bent down to pick up his phone that was sitting on the coffee table, showing off his bum and walked off, leaving Logan eyes wide and horrified.

Patton and Thomas looked at each and began 'talking' to seem inconspicuous.

Logan slowly walked upstairs.

"Excuse me Thomas." Patton shot out after Virgil who had walked into the kitchen.

"Oh hey Pat-"

Morality kissed him and pulled back, "I didn't like that."

Virgil smiled and wrapped his arms around Patton's waist, "don't worry. You're the only one for me."

That night, Logan and Roman where cuddled together in Logan's room, on his bed.

"You are so cute! How did you get to be so cute?" Gushed Roman, cuddling Logan closer.

Logan pouted slightly and crossed his arms, "I am not cute."

"Okay, now you're even cuter!" Squealed the Prince.

"That seems to be a popular opinion today I must say."

"What?" Roman asked confused, sitting up and turning on the light, feeling jealousy flow through him.

"The most unconventional thing happened in the living room, I think... I think Virgil was flirting with me." Logan said, sitting up.

"What are you talking about?" Asked Roman.

"I'm telling you! I think Virgil thinks I'm... 'foxy'."

"That's not possible!"

"Excuse me?"

Roman sighed, "I'm sorry it's just, Virgil just always thought you were, you were charming in a, in a sexless kind of way."

"What? He told you?"

"Well yeah. I asked him, I was curious. I think that you just misunderstood him."

"No, I didn't misunderstand, okay?" Logan asked, angrily, "he was all over me! He touched my bicep for crying out loud!"

Roman raised his eyebrow and squeezes Logan's rather thin arm, "this 'bicep'?"

Logan glared playfully, "well it's not flexed right now!"

Roman smirked, "sure..."

The next day Roman got to see exactly what Logan meant.

Patton and Virgil were sat cuddling on the couch watching cute dog videos on the TV when there was walking from the stairs and kitchen, making the two fly off in the opposite direction, with Virgil's phone in his hands and now on tumblr.

It was Roman and Logan, obviously and Patton saw them and smiled.

"Hey guys, what are you doing now?" He asked, "oh! Wanna come see a movie with us?"

"Uhh, y'know actually I was gonna plan another video for Thomas." Roman said.

"Oh." Was Patton's response as he and Virgil rolled their eyes.

"Hey Logan, wanna do it with me?"

"Sure, I'll do it with you."

"Okay!"

"Okay great, hold on a sec!" Patton smiled and made a large book appear in his hands, "here you go! Some of my ideas for Thomas videos."

Roman took it slouching ever so slightly as Logan looked at the thick book, "I-I mean I don't think we have enough facts, plot points and or resolutions."

Virgil also made a book appear, "but I do." He handed it over to Logan who took it.

"All right hon- Virge, we'd better go if we wanna catch that movie." Smiled Patton, rushing over to the door.

"Bye!" Roman called.

"Bye Logan!" Smirked Virgil as she walked past him and whispered, "I miss you already." And pinched his butt, making him jump.

After they left, Logan turned to Roman, "okay, did you see that?! With the inappropriate and the pinching!"

"Actually, I did!" Roman cried out in jealousy.

"Okay, so now do you believe that he's physically and possibly sexually attracted to me?"

Roman thought, "ohhh, oh my God! Oh my God! He knows about us!"

"Are you serious?" Logan asked, shocked and doubtful.

"Virgil knows and he's just trying to freak us out! That's the only explanation for it!" Roman said, feeling stupid for not realising straight away, since he could not see the love for the smart trait in Virgil's eyes or tone.

"Okay but what about y'know my pinchable butt and my bulging biceps-" he paused, he never did work out... "he knows!"

The confronted Thomas the next day.

Thomas was sat on his bed, on his laptop typing out a new Drarry fan fiction for WattPad.

Roman appeared in his room, "Thomas!"

Thomas slammed the laptop shut, "yeah?"

"Virgil knows about us!"

"Well I didn't tell them!"

Logan's eyes widened, "'them'?! Who's 'them'?"

Thomas eyes widened in horror, "uhhh, Virgil and...... Thomas!" He smiled.

"Thomas!" Warmed Logan.

"And Patton. I would've told you but they made me promise not to tell!"

"Oh peanuts!" Sighed Roman.

"I'm sorry! But hey, it's over now, right?" Thomas smiled, "you can tell them that you know they know and I can go back to knowing absolutely nothing!"

"Unless..." Logan trailed off.

"No! Not unless!" Cried Thomas, "this must end now!"

"They think they are so shrewd messing with us! But see they don't know that we know that they know! So..." smirked Logan.

"Ahh yes, the messers become the messies!" Roman grinned.

Patton was laying on Virgil's bed as he messed with his Virgies hair.

"You're so adorable."

"No! That's you Pat!" Smiled Virgil.

Virgil's phone rang, making him sigh and grabbed it, "oh! It's Logan."

Patton smirked, "put it on speaker!"

Virgil answered and put it on speaker phone, and flirt-ly greeted, "hello you."

"Hello Virgil, I've been thinking about you all day." Logan replied, in a deep flirty tone, his phone also on speaker so Roman could hear.

Patton's eyes widened in horror.

"Eh?" Virgil asked in shock.

"Well you know that thing you said before, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't intrigued." Logan smirked as Roman grinned at him.

"R-really?" Asked Virgil, as Patton was refraining from strangling Logan.

"Yeah, listen, why don't you come over and I'll let you uh, feel my bicep. Or maybe more."

"I'll have to get back to you on that. Okay, bye!" He hung up quickly, and Roman and Logan high fived.

"Oh my God!"

"I can not believe he would do that to Rom-" Patton paused and appeared in Thomas room, followed by Virgil.

Thomas looked up and saw Patton and Virgil, slowly turning to Thomas, who realised what is was about and avoided his eyes.

"Thomas, do they know that we know?"Patton asked.

"No."

"Thomas!" Patton said in his Dad voice.

"They know you know." Thomas sighed, making the secret couple groan.

"Ugh, I knew it! Oh I cannot believe those two!" Cried Patton.

"God, they thought they can mess with us! They're trying to mess with us?!" Virgil suddenly smirked, "but you see, they don't know that we know they know we know!"

Thomas just shook his head.

"Thomas, you can't say anything!"

"I couldn't even if I wanted too."

The sides and Thomas were filming a Sanders Side's video and had just take a break and the couples couples where on either side of the room, talking about their respective strategies to break the other pairing. Thomas watched unamused.

"Look at them," whispered Roman, "they're-they're panicked!"

"They're going to back down!" Smirked Logan.

"Oh yeah!"

Virgil glanced at them, "all right," he whispered to Patton, "all right! If he wants a date? He's gonna get a date. All right, I'm gonna go in."

"All right. Be sexy." Patton said, but in all honesty Virgil was sexy without even trying.

"Got it."

He strutted over to Logan who began to pushed Roman away.

Virgil leaned against the stair railing, "so Logan, I-I'd love to come by tonight."

Logan's eyes widened in horror, but calmed down, "r-really?"

"Oh absolutely. Shall we say, around seven?"

"Yes." Logan answered.

"Good. I'm really looking forward to you and me having sexual intercourse." Virgil messed with Logan's tie and walked away.

Logan turned to Roman who was mouthing a scream to Logan hearing what just happened. Logan, freaking out too mouths, 'It's okay, it's okay'.

Virgil left to Patton as Patton smirked, "good job."

"Thank you."

That night, Virgil was dressed in a purple suit, with a purple tie as Patton smiled and clapped, "show time!"

"Okay, Pat, get me cologne!"

"Okay!" He ran off.

"And Thomas, get me a bottle of wine and glasses?"

Thomas sighed and walked off.

In the meantime, Patton returned with the cologne and sprayed it on his neck.

In Logan's room, Roman was prepping Logan.

"All right, it'll be great! You just make him think you wanna have sex with him! It'll totally freak him out!" Roman stated, sorting out Logan's collar.

Logan glared, "okay, listen, how far am I gonna have to go with him?"

"Relax, he-he's gonna give in way before you do!" Roman said.

"How do you know?!" Cried Logan.

"Because you're on my team! And my team always wins!"

Logan gestured around, "at this?!"

"Just go get some!" Roman smiled and kissed him, "go!" He ran to the join in bathroom.

Virgil stood outside Logan's door, straightening his tie, with the help of Patton.

Patton gave him the wine, "okay honey, now I'm gonna try to listen from right here."

"Okay." Virgil rose his hand to knock.

"Okay- whoa, wait!" Cried Patton stopping Virgil and undid one of the buttons and undid his tie so it hung loosely.

"Good idea!" Smiled Virgil, kissing Patton's lips quickly.

"Yeah, oh wait!" He went to undo another.

"Woah now, don't give away the fun!"

Virgil knocked on the door with the wine and Patton hid next to the door, as Logan opened the door.

"Virgil."

"Logan."

"Come on in." Logan stepped to the side.

"I-I was going too." They went inside and Logan closed the door.

"Umm, I brought some wine. Would you like some?" Virgil asked, holding out the two glasses.

"Sure."

Virgil made a big show out of pulling out the cork out of the bottle with a pop and poured the wine.

"So, here we are." Virgil said picking up the glass, "nervous?"

"Me? No." Logan answered also picking up the glass, "you?"

"No, I want this to happen." Virgil said, quickly.

"So do I." Logan agreed.

They clinked their glasses together and took a sip, which turned into a gulp, which quickly progressed into mutual draining of the glass at once.

Logan walked over to the radio, "i-I'm gonna put on some music." He had hoped he would have made it less awkward.

"Maybe..." Virgil thought, "maybe I'll dance for you." He started dancing, swaying side to side and almost lunges at him sexily.

"You look good." Logan cringed, talking robotically again.

"Thanks!" Smiled Virgil, seductively and awkwardly, "y'know, when you say things like that it makes me wanna rip that black shirt right off!"

Logan smiled and coughed awkwardly, "well, why don't we move this into the bedroom?"

Virgils eyes widened in shock, "really?"

"Oh, do you not want to?" He asked, had he won?

"No. No!" Virgil shouted, "it's just y'know first.... I-I wanna take off all my clothes and have you rub lotion on me!"

Logan swallowed harshly, "well that would be nice." He replied uncomfortably, "I'll go get the lotion."

He rushed off to his joined bathroom and went in slamming the door, there stood Roman, having heard the conversation, slightly worried.

"Listen, this is totally getting out of hand! Okay? He wants me to put lotion on him!"

Roman shook his head, "he's bluffing!"

"Look, he's not backing down! He went like this!" He lunged at Roman, like Virgil lunged at him. God he felt stupid and awkward, Roman gave him a look.

Meanwhile in the hallway, Virgil has ran out to Patton.

"He's not backing down. He went to get lotion!"

Patton sighed and held his face, "it'll be over soon, I promise."

"Aren't you guys done yet?!" Thomas asked, popping up next to Patton, who quickly pulled away and flushed a bright red, "I wanna get some rest!"

Patton sighed, "Thomas look, just look at it this way, the sooner Virgie breaks Logan the sooner this is all over and out in the open."

Thomas' eyes widened in interest and delight, "oh! I like that!" Thomas turned to Virgil, "oh, okay! Show him your pecks! He's afraid of 'em! Ain't Romans!" He swiftly ripped open the front of Virgil's shirt revealing his, actually toned chest.

Patton blushed, oh how he wanted Virgil right now.

"Thomas!" Virgil shouted while examining the shirt.

That's when Patton realised, it was Thomas who did that and slapped his shoulder harshly making him wince in pain.

"Wow," Virgil said, "you didn't rip off any buttons."

"It's not my first time. Besides it was Roman who taught it me." He smirked.

Logan paced in the bathroom.

"You go back out there and you seduce him till he cracks!" Roman shouted, pointing at the door and handing over the bottle of lotion.

"Okay, give me a second!" He turned and then paused, noticing something new, "is that a new shower curtain?"

"I didn't like that black one you had!"

Logan slowly exited the bathroom, trying to stall, until he got pushed from behind by Roman.

Virgil has just walked in and was closing the bedroom door.

"Oh, you're-you're going?" Smiled Logan.

"Umm, not without you, lover." Smirked Virgil, slowly walking over to him and that's when Logan saw his pecks, "s-so, these are my pecks..."

Logan gulped, "It's- Uh they're very, very nice. Well, come here.... I'm very happy we're gonna be having all the sex."

"You should be. I'm very bendy." He smirked, thinking about how crazy Patton was in bed and Logan smiled uneasily.

Virgil walked up to him, "I'm gonna kiss you now."

"Not if I kiss you first." Logan challenged.

They moved closer to together and Virgil hesitantly put his hand on Logan's hip. Logan robotically put his hand on Virgils left hip but then quickly put his hand on the other hip.

Virgil then grabs his butt, and automatically Logan went to grab his peck, but stopped himself and puts his hand on his shoulder.

"Ooh."

"Well, I guess there's nothing left for us to do but-but kiss." Logan said, blushing.

"Here it comes. Our first kiss." Cringed Virgil.

They slowly moved their lips together while also pulling away and kissed awkwardly and gently, with Virgil's eyes wide open in shock and Logan squinting.

Logan finally broke the kiss after only two seconds and pushed Virgil away.

"Okay! Okay! Okay! You win! You win!" Shouted Logan, "I can't do this!"

"Oh me neither!" Virgil shouted.

"I can't have sex with you!"

"And why not?!"

"Because I'm in love with Roman!"

Virgil's eyes widened, "you're-you're what?!"

Roman came out of the bathroom quickly, and Thomas and Patton both rush in.

"Love him! That's right, I...LOVE...HIM! Me the robotic guy, love him!" Roman walked over blushing. Logan never said that before.

"I love you, Roman..."

"I love you too Logan." Roman pulled Logan into a kiss.

"I just - I thought you guys were doing it, I didn't know you were in love!" Virgil smiled.

Patton and Thomas smiled, watching.

"And hats off to Virgil. Quite a competitor!" Roman smirked as he shook hands with the emo.

"And might I add your chest is still showing." Logan said, looking down awkwardly.

"God!" Virgil blushed and turned away, buttoning up.

Thomas looked at Virgil, "Well this doesn't explain why... Virgil couldn't go through with it?"

"Maybe because it's awkward?!" Glared Virgil.

Patton looked up, at everyone. He mainly looked at Logan and Virgil.

"Well I don't think that's it..."

Virgil sighed, "it's because I... I'm.... I'm in love with... Patton..."

Patton stopped glaring at Logic and looked to his boyfriend, "you are?! Really?!"

"Of course I am Patton..."

"Oh Virgil, I love you too!" Patton kisses his cheek softly.

"Great! So everyone knows!" Smiled Thomas.

"Well Remus doesn't know about us." Roman said.

"And Deceit doesn't know about us either." Virgil added.

"We'd appreciate it if you didn't say anything." Logan stated.

"Same here." Patton added.

Thomas just glared at the cuddling couples.