Trigger warning: none

Pairing: Romantic Prinxiety

Category: Hurt/Comfort

*****

When he opened his eyes, he couldn't believe what he saw. He must be dreaming. There is no way in the world that he was seeing what he was seeing. He was tired and he didn't need his imagination playing a sick trick on him. He didn't need this, not ever. But, what if it wasn't a dream? Was this reality? Was Virgil really standing in front of him, still with those dark and mysterious eyes.

"L-look, I know that—you probably, um—I just—I'm sorry..." Virgil managed, his voice small and reserved. He shouldn't have done this. He shouldn't have come here and tried to do... something, he didn't even know what. His breathing became heavier and his eyes held a ripple of uncertainty. Bowing his head down in shame, he clenched his eyes shut and he gripped the hem of his shirt tightly in his hands, pulling the fabric down, stretching it. Why did he think this was a good idea? He couldn't even get a single sentence right. He kept quiet as his breathing became more erratic.

"Hey, hey, it's okay," Roman tried to calm the boy standing in front of him. Virgil shook his head violently in response, still with his head bowed.

Roman was unsure as to what he should do. He had imagined many many times what it would be like if Virgil came back, but now that the boy himself was standing in front of him, he didn't know what to do or how to act. In the past, it was easy to just hold Virgil in his arms and let the heavy panic that surrounded him melt away. Now, there was so much distance between them, Roman didn't know what to do.

"Virge, it's okay," Roman tried again, much softer than before, the affection he held for Virgil was apparent in his voice. His hand unconsciously reached for Virgil's prying those fingers off the shirt. Roman hunched his posture slightly, so that he could be on eye level with Virgil. "Look at me, Virgil."

The softness of Roman's voice kept the panic that was building up in Virgil at bay. He noticed the hand that was holding his own, gentle and warm. He tried not to break down again. Roman was so close, all he wanted to do was to let himself be held in those arms again. Oh how he missed everything they had. But because he was so stupid, Roman must've hate him now. Or maybe not. Maybe, he wasn't even important enough to Roman that he would be forgotten. Thin streams of tears were starting to break free of his closed lids. He couldn't help it.

When Roman noticed the trails of tears free-falling, he didn't think before he wrapped Virgil in his arms. And suddenly, he was back to five years ago when he would hold Virgil in his arms just like now. He remembered again how Virgil would latch onto him like his life depended on it, just like now. He always hated when he saw Virgil so sad and broken. He hated when he can see that his love was hurting, but he couldn't do anything much. This was just like how it was all those years ago. A few tears slipped past Roman eyes, too. He missed Virgil so much.

Virgil was sobbing against Roman's chest now. Neither of them knew why he was crying. Was it relieve? Or guilt? He held onto Roman's shirt tightly, not wanting to let go. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He sobbed out. "It was so stupid. I was stupid! I was an idiot! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry—"

Roman held onto Virgil tighter. He shushed the crying boy in his hold as his own tears dripped down his face. "Hey, it's okay. It's okay," Roman whispered as Virgil continued to sob, the sound echoing in the almost-empty backstage.

Sniffling, Roman pulled back a little so that he could look at Virgil. Virgil was still crying, hiding his face behind his bangs. Roman swept his bangs off his face, revealing Virgil's flushed face with tears still streaming down his cheeks. The darkly-dressed boy pulled back from Roman's touch, trying to put a distance between them. The tight coil of guilt in his stomach was back. Why was Roman being so kind to him? Why was Roman even crying? Maybe Roman was trying to get him back for what he did five years ago with fake tears. He was an actor after all.

"I'm sorry..." Virgil said again once his crying subsided. He rubbed the tears from his eyes. He still avoided eye-contact, not wanting to see Roman when he was shot down.

"For what?" Roman asked. Virgil whipped his head up, looking at Roman with disbelief.

"You know what I did to you. I mean—well, maybe it's not that important to you, but um..." He trailed off, not knowing what else to say. He was too afraid to say another word. He didn't want to screw it up again.

"If I'm going to be honest," Roman started softly, his voice was deep and gentle, "I—I still think about you... a lot actually. Probably more than you think." He paused, searching for something in Virgil's eyes. Taking a deep breath and exhaling, he waited for Virgil's response.

"I'm sorry," another broken whisper came. "I didn't think things through when I left. I don't know what went through my mind... I just..."

Roman let out a big sigh. His eyes were starting to water again. He couldn't believe that Virgil was there, standing in front of him with the same sad eyes, the same dark look, the same everything.

"Oh my god, I missed you so much," he breathed out, voice cracking, unable to contain his desperation any longer. He wanted to reach and take Virgil into his arms again. He needed Virgil's warmth again. Roman needed him so badly. He wanted to tell the boy who was standing in front of him that the song was about him.

He hesitantly extended an arm, taking Virgil's hand in his. When he didn't feel any resistance, he pulled Virgil back into his arms and engulfed him with a loving embrace. Every alarm in his head was blaring it's red and loud sirens, telling him to stop. This was the person who broke you, what is wrong with you? Roman, don't get yourself in a tizzy again. But his body refused to listen. He needed this. Needed Virgil to be there with him.

Virgil curled up into Roman's hold, squishing himself closer. He shouldn't have left. He should never have left. He needed to explain everything to Roman, but for now he could stay and feel Roman's warmth. He could lose himself in the safety of Roman's arms. And without realizing, he was crying again. He choked on his sobs, trying to suppress them, because once he starts he wouldn't stop. He tried to resist again, tried to distance himself, but it felt so good to be back that he couldn't bring himself to pull away.

After a few long moments, Virgil's crying was finally reduced to hiccups. They stayed in the warm embrace for a long while before Roman finally pulled away. Virgil almost whined at the lost of contact.

"Do you want to go to my dressing room?" Roman asked in a whisper, wiping away the tears from his face. Virgil responded with a nod.

As Roman led them into the dressing room, Virgil was having another thought; one that he wasn't sure he could explain. How was he going to tell Roman everything? Would Roman even believe him when he said that he still loved Roman? Would he believe that Virgil still wanted what they had?

Roman told Virgil to sit on the small sofa on one corner of the backstage while he looked through his bag for a water bottle. He knew he left it somewhere in the mess of his bag. There was a silence that hung over them, but it was surprisingly comforting instead of awkward. They could still be comfortable with each other's presence without saying a word. Virgil laid down on the sofa, staring up at the ceiling while he contemplated on all the decisions he made in his life.

Suddenly, the door burst open. "Hey hun, how was your fantastic fans?"

Roman whipped around, now giving his attention to Remy. The older looked a bit different than he was a few hours ago before the meet and greet. He held his brown leather jacket over one shoulder with one hand while the other held a cup of Starbucks coffee. His hair was messier than before, but not to noticeable.

"T'was alright, I guess. When the hell did you even get Starbucks, Rem?"

"Like, ten minutes ago? This is—oh, hello," Remy finally noticed Virgil lying on the small leather couch behind him. Virgil gave him a small wave. Remy looked at Roman with a questioning look that was only met with a shrug from the performer. He decided to approach the dark figure "If I may, who are you?"

"Name's Virgil. Virgil Milton." Virgil answered, sitting back up on the couch.

"Oh..." Remy's eyes widened behind his sunglasses, but he hid his surprise well. He lowered himself to sit next to Virgil. "Well, Virgil, I'm Remy. Remouda Adais. When did you get here? Roman talks a lot about you."

"I just got here, actually," Virgil said timidly. "Are you and Roman..."

Virgil didn't need to finish his question to understand. He could hear the sorrow and a hint of jealousy behind Virgil's words. "Oh no, no, we're too much alike. Y'know, loud and dramatic. Besides, he still hasn't moved on from his last boyfriend." He gave Virgil a hinting look.

"What are you gonna do after this?"

Before Virgil could answer, Roman stepped closer. "Gee, Rem, stop interrogating him." He shifted his gaze to Virgil again. He was still in a daze. He still couldn't believe that Virgil was there. "A'right, since Remy wouldn't leave us alone, let's remove ourselves from here so that Remy can get the room all to himself."

"Aw babe, you're too nice."

----------

They walked out of the building into the chilly air of the night. Roman tried to hide himself by layering himself with a hoodie and wearing sunglasses to mask his face. There were still some fans lingering outside, so he didn't want to risk being bombarded by them. The only person that could look cool with sunglasses at night is Remy.

"Where are we going?" Virgil asked quietly. The feeling of guilt was still intense every time his eyes met Roman's. At the same time, the fluttering in his stomach also intensified.

"To get ice cream. After that, I wanna take you somewhere nice."

Virgil smiled to himself. After all these years, Roman was still eager to do frivolous things. They could have stayed back at the concert place, but that's so un-Roman-like. Half an hour later, they were sitting on a small, quiet hill with the view of half the city in front of them with ice creams in their hands; coffee and chocolate for Virgil, Caramel and cookies-and-cream for Roman.

Without the city light blinding them, they could see the stars above, painting the black sea of the sky with its glittering dots.

"What is this place?" Virgil asked.

"I found this place a few years ago. I used to come here often... especially after you left." Roman said, his voice sounded small and brokenhearted. Virgil tried to bury his guilt. "I don't come here often anymore since... y'know, work and stuff."

"I'm sorry, Ro."

The nickname. Ro. Virgil used to call him that often. He loved the little teasing game of nicknames that they used to have. Princey! Emo Nightmare! Sir Sing-A-Lot! Chemically Imbalanced Romance! They would laugh and laugh until their stomachs hurt. After that, they would tackle each other down to the floor and they would spend their breaths kissing each other until both of them were tired. Then, they would laugh again and they would fall asleep in each other's arms with content smiles.

The small, affectionate nicknames, though, were the best. Virgey. Ro.

"You apologize, too much, Virgey." Roman said with a smile, taking a final bite of his ice cream with delight. He'd eaten most of his ice cream on the way to the hill.

Virgil chuckled with a love-struck expression on his face. "I was scared."

"Of what?"

"Of you, of us..."

"Why?"

"I was—I was so... in love with you..." He pushed away the oncoming warmth crawling up his face with a big bite of ice cream. "It became too much. I was afraid that you'll see how broken I was—how broken I am—and you'll finally see that you deserve so much better than a crap like me." Tears were falling down his face again. His voice cracked with emotions, keeping sobs at bay.

"I thought—I thought that if I could make you hate me, it would've been easier when you inevitably realize that I don't deserve you anymore. I tried to distance myself from you, but you wouldn't stop coming." By now, he couldn't handle it anymore and for the third time that night, Virgil broke down with sobs. "I thought if I left you—I thought if I left with the knowledge that you'd hate me it would be easier for me to move on and forget you. It wasn't like I meant that much to you anyway..."

"Oh, Virgey..." Roman's heart clenched hearing Virgil spew out self-hate. He took in how Virgil sat with his back hunched, one hand gripping the grass underneath them. Roman cupped Virgil face with in his hand, bringing their eyes to meet.

"Hey, that's not true." Roman said gently. "I could never ever hate you. I can't even if I tried. You're not broken or crap, okay. Don't think of yourself as anything less than perfect. Of course, of course, you mean a lot to me. You were my whole world and you—you still are." He rubbed tiny circles on Virgil's face with his thumb and Virgil melted into the touch, desperate to feel Roman's warmth again.

"Don't say those things about yourself, please. I hate seeing you like this."

"It was so much easier back then," Virgil managed in between his sobs. "You always loved me when I couldn't love myself. And I don't understand! I don't understand why you said you loved me! I don't understand how you could care about anyone like me!"

Roman pulled Virgil into his arms again, letting tears soak through his shirt. Virgil buried his face on Roman's chest, inhaling the calming scent and curling up tighter against Roman for comfort. He felt an overwhelmingly warm sensation in him as Roman held him tighter and putting a gentle hand behind his head, as though shielding him from the world.

"I was wrong when I thought I could forget you and move on just like that," Virgil sobbed onto Roman's chest. "Because, even now, I'm still enough of an idiot to hope you'd ever love me again."

"Virgey, just so you know, I never stopped loving you. Those songs I wrote were meant for you. The movies I starred in were my attempts to find you again."

"I don't believe you."

Instead of arguing, Roman chose to pull back, gently taking Virgil's face into his hands and pulled him into a sweet kiss. There was so much he wanted to say to Virgil. He wanted to wipe all those tears and replace them with joy. For now, he could only kiss Virgil, silencing the sobs and self-hate. For now, he could share his love.

He pulled Virgil closer by the waist so their bodies were flushed against each other. Their brows were furrowed with overflowing emotions that spilled through their kiss. Their lips moved smoothly against each other with a gentle, steady rhythm. Roman tilted Virgil's head slightly to deepen the kiss. In turn, Virgil's hands crawled up, circling Roman's neck and sighed into the kiss.

After a long few minutes, they pulled apart, their breathing heavy. Virgil immediately buried his face in Roman's chest again, this time in relief. He hugged Roman, pulling him impossibly closer while Roman did the same. They stayed in silence like that.

"Ro, you asshole..." Virgil said with amusement after a long while of silence.

"What?"

"You made me drop my ice cream!"

And they laughed. They laughed and laughed and laughed. They finally found each other again. They found their joy again. They held their whole world in their arms and they held it with felicity, with adoration and most importantly, with love.

"You're too cute." Roman whispered as he captured Virgil's lips again.

**********

So, this was a longer one. Not too long, though. I really hoped you liked this small lil' series I wrote. It was a bit of a challenge, because I have to get the emotions flowing. Anyways, lemme know what you think of this. 

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE send me some one-shot requests. I'll write them as best as I can.