First Published: July 23rd 2017

Pairing: none

Genre: crack, comedy

Word Count: 415

Warnings: none

Summary: Roman isn't fond of spiders, but Patton is terrified and Logan is nowhere to be found.

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Roman hates spiders. That's just the facts. They have too many legs, too many eyes and all in all, they're absolutely terrifying. It's one of the only things he's afraid of, and yet somehow, he has been allocated as the resident spider-killer.

It starts with a blood-curdling scream, drawing the sides into the commons to see Patton pressed against the wall, pointing a shaky finger at the corner. Roman and Logan exchange worried glances, before rushing over to him.

"What is it?" Logic doesn't sound too bothered, despite the fact that Morality is literally shaking. Prince's protective instincts kick in and he draws his sword.

"Spider!" Patton shrieks, jabbing his finger again. They fling around and see a fairly large arachnid creeping up the wall.

Roman shivers minutely, but no one notices. Apart from the spider, he thinks, I bet it's watching me right now with those eyes.

Logan simply walks out of the room then, deciding that he's had enough for the day. (Unbeknownst to the other two, he has arachnophobia. He considers his fear irrational, so he refuses to tell anyone.)

This leaves Prince with two options: run and hide or play the knight and rescue the damsel in distress.

...The promise of glory is too good to give up. However, if he's to face a beast such as that, then he wants a reward, like a proper prince.

"I'll kill that spider for you..." he begins, and Patton starts gushing his thanks before Roman holds up a hand to cut him off. "...If you give me a dollar."

Morality takes the cardigan off his shoulders and checks his pockets, but doesn't find anything. To make up for this, he pulls out his puppy eyes. "Can I borrow a dollar?"

Roman sighs and hands him one, because even if Patton is just giving the dollar back, he still technically gets a prize. Before Patton can pay, however, he screams and points at Prince's shoulder.

A feeling of dread settles into his stomach as his eyes trail down to where Patton is looking... and he sees the spider, seeming unbothered by the day's events. His scream is something out of a horror movie as he swipes at his clothes to get the thing off of him. It flies through the air and lands on the carpet, and Roman has no qualms about squashing it under his boot.

The pride of vanquishing the beast makes him forget all about the dollar.

Until eight years later.