Warnings: Self-hatred, self-deprecation, self-harm, insulting, guilt, blood, vomiting, and description of self-harm wounds.

Ship(s): Platonic Logicality, Platonic Thogan, Platonic LAMPT around the end, I guess?

Logan rubbed his eyes, completely exhausted. For some odd reason, today's video had been particularly draining. Something had just felt off today, and he really didn't know what. He'd been nervous, doubting himself, feeling ignored, and it really, for lack of a better word, sucked. He was looking forward to getting some rest, maybe solving a problem to lift his self-confidence a bit. Maybe Patton would let him stay in his room for a whi-

"Today was such a drag!" Logan heard Thomas groan from inside Patton's room. He froze, quietly pressing against the wall and listening. Thomas was in the mindscape? That was odd, he had only come down once when they needed to get Virgil. Logan heard said edge lord scoff.

"Right? Everything was off, and really, really overwhelming. Even Logan was weirder than usual," Virgil said, laughing slightly. Logan's heart dropped. Weird? Virgil thought he was weird? Logan heard Patton try to protest and he smiled, but Roman had to open his big mouth.

"Yeah....You know, after today, I was thinking about that. Maybe we provide enough Logic ourselves, you know? I mean, yeah, Logan helps sometimes, but honestly he hardly ever has anything to contribute," Roman said.

"Oh, come now, Roman! To be completely honest, we tend to ignore Logan's input, almost as much as we used to ignore Virgil! It's not that he doesn't give us any ideas or that he doesn't contribute, we just don't listen to him!" Patton protested. Logan perked up. Patton had said Logan was his hero earlier that day, and now...he was defending him? How odd. It felt...nice, in a way.

"Patton's right, guys! The two of you are being really harsh," Thomas said. Logan's heart leaped for joy and he almost smiled, almost, but then Roman spoke again.

"I just don't see any use for an entitled smart-ass," Roman muttered. Logan's breathing hitched and he clamped a shaky hand over his mouth. Tears welled up in his eyes and spilled down his cheeks, wetting his hand and, eventually, the front of his shirt. He sniffled softly and took off his glasses, furiously scrubbing away at his eyes. Why was he crying? He had no right to cry. Roman was right. He was unnecessary, and an insufferable know-it-all. But what else was he supposed to be? That was his job.

"Agreed," Virgil said, chuckling. Logan's heart shattered into pieces and he choked back a sob. He deserved that. After what he put Virgil through, he definitely deserved that.

He heard Thomas gasp and Patton cried, "Guys, be nice!" Roman laughed and Logan felt sick, so sick that he doubled over and clutched his mouth, his entire body shaking as his stomach churned. He fell to his knees and barely heard Roman's reply.

"Why? He's not here, Patton. What he doesn't know won't hurt him." Logan really did sob this time; a heartbreaking, breath-stealing sob that crushed the air out of his lungs and made his whole body tremble. He was already on his knees so all he could do was lean against the wall as his chest heaved for breath and choked up sobs continued to fall from his lips. He heard footsteps and he panicked, trying and failing to get up, to get off his knees and get his act together.

"Logan?! Logan, oh my God..." someone was saying. Someone was reaching out to him too...

"Don't touch me!" Logan shrieked as a hand rested on his shoulders. Putting his glasses back on, he scrambled to his feet to see a shocked Thomas standing before him with a hand extended, eyes wide with panic. Logan suddenly felt terrible and he backed away, breathing shakily. Thomas was just trying to help. Thomas had defended him. Thomas had been there for him. And how did Logan thank him? He shrieked at him, told him not to touch him.

"I-I...I'm sorry, I'll go. I shouldn't have eavesdropped, I'm sorry," Logan choked out, quickly turning and running down the halls of the mind palace as fast as he could, desperately sprinting towards his room. He heard calls of his name, but then he heard laughter.

Roman and Virgil were laughing at him.

"Shut up!" Logan was screaming, even as he ran into his room and slammed to door shut, collapsing against the wall and slamming the back of his head against it.

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" Logan screamed. He was still sobbing, tears running down his face. His head throbbed and he felt blood but he kept banging it, gripping at the carpet beneath his fingers. he had to ground himself, to bring himself back to reality, to distract himself from the horrid laughter ringing in his ears.

Dear Lord, that laughter.

"Stop it, stop it, stop it. Please please please please please please just stop it," Logan whimpered, rocking back and forth and lacing his fingers in his hair, that horrible laughter still ringing in his ears. He had to get away from it he had to stop it make it stop MAKE IT STOP, PLEASE. Logan panted heavily, clutching his head. Why was this happening to him? What had he done wrong? He was doing his best, couldn't they see that? Logan sobbed and staggered to his feet, stumbling over to his bed and collapsing on top of it, shaking and whimpering as more tears streamed down his face.

The others didn't want him? Fine. They wouldn't get him.

"It's been a week guys, aren't you worried at all?" Patton said, wringing his hands and pacing back and forth. Virgil and Roman exchanged a glance and shrugged.

"Not really. I mean, Thomas has been getting stuff done more slowly, but...that's it. We provide enough information to get him through. We don't need Logan," Roman said. Virgil grimaced but didn't say anything. Patton whirled around and glared at Roman, who had suddenly frozen in his chair.

"So, Thomas not being able to think clearly is okay?" Patton snarled.

"N-No, I just-"

"Thomas hardly being able to function normally and getting hardly any work done is okay?"

"Patt-"

"Thomas not being able to solve simple problems like where to put something in the fridge or what to say to say when someone talks to him without thinking about it for ten minutes is okay?" Patton was beyond angry now, and both Virgil and Roman cowered under his gaze.

"No, I suppose not," Roman said weakly, rubbing the back of his neck. Without saying a word, Patton grabbed both Virgil and Roman by the front of their shirts and dragged them up out of the mindscape. They popped up in Thomas' room and immediately stumbled back. Thomas sat at his desk, hunched over and staring at a page of paperwork. His lips were trembling and grunts of frustration were being emitted from his lips. He looked close to tears.

"Thomas, we're going to fix this, alright kiddo? We're going to get Logan back, I promise," Patton said, immediately going to Thomas' side and rubbing his back as he shook. Thomas let out a shaky sigh and rubbed his eyes, huge bags under his eyes from lack of sleep. Virgil gave Roman an exasperated look but the royal didn't notice, a guilty expression on his face.

"C-Can we go now?" Thomas whimpered, sounding like a small child. Patton nodded and helped his exhausted host to his feet, even scooping him up in his arms. Thomas wrapped his arms around Patton' neck and clung to him as the four of them began to sink out, heading off to Logan's room.

When they popped in, they were horrified. The room, normally neat and well taken care of, was an absolute mess. Empty jars of Crofters jam lay scattered about on the floor. Papers and calendars were all over, some ripped up, some with stains of debatable origins. The curtains were torn to shreds, and Patton could see shards of broken glass scattered across of the floor, some of them stained with a suspiciously red substance.

"Logan? You in here kiddo?" Patton asked warily, setting Thomas down and making sure he didn't step on any broken glass. Patton's heart sank as the bunched up blankets on Logan's bed rustled and a weary, tear stained face peeked out at them from their midst. Logan whimpered and started to tremble, drawing the blankets closer around him.

"Logan, what..." Thomas' voice trailed off and he looked at his logical side, disbelief clouding his eyes. Patton moved forward and knelt next to Logan's bed, holding out his arms to the other man. Logan looked at Patton with sunken, dull eyes before slowly leaning into him, arms remaining limp at his sides as he sank against Patton's chest.

"W-Why are they here?!" Logan asked bitterly, staring at Roman and Virgil, shivering as Patton held him close and ran his fingers through his hair. Patton's face paled as his fingers gent;y ran over a deep gash in the back of Logan's head from him slamming it against the wall, and how they kept getting caught in the normally neat brunette locks because of all the dried blood matted in it. Patton glared at Roman and Virgil, who stepped forward and joined Patton. Thomas still hung back, looking shocked.

"We...We came to apologize," Roman said quietly, resting a hand on Logan's back. Logic flinched and whimpered, but made no move to shove Roman's hand away. The princely trait blinked back tears as his friend looked at him with disgust, and even fear.

"Oh, really? You think something like this can just be fixed with a fucking apology?!" Logan hissed, and he did wrench away. Virgil was about to speak but Logan cut him off, pointing a shaking finger at him.

"You...We were actually starting to become friends! I've always defended you! L-Less than Patton, but I have! And you," Logan turned his attention to Roman, his face twisted in a snarl. Roman grimaced.

"You...I-I...You've always hated me," Logan was trembling harder, his face turning white. "Y-You...You...Oh, God," Logan groaned and panicked flashed in his eyes. He reached around Patton and grabbed his garbage can, quickly bringing it to his face and emptying the contents of his stomach into it. Virgil paled considerably and Patton rubbed Logan's back gently as he coughed and wretched into the garbage can. Logan shakily wiped his mouth on the back of his hand and put the garbage can back down, leaning heavily against Patton.

"You were right, Roman. You don't need me; none of you do. All I do is make a planner for Thomas. Any of you could do that. I am unnecessay, worthless, and an insufferable know-it-all," Logan said miserably.

"You do so much more than that," Thomas said, his voice noticeably stronger. Logan looked up at his host with confusion, sitting up slightly, but not so much that he was out of Patton's arms. Thomas sighed and sat on the bed in the space between Logan and Roman, moving Roman's hand away. Logan trembled and buried his face in Patton's chest as if he expected some sort of lecture or scolding.

"I was barely even able to function with you gone. Remember how when Virgil ducked out, I went crazy? It was the opposite this time. I basically sunk into an extremely intense depressive episode that has lasted the entire week you've been gone," Thomas explained gently, putting a hand on Logan's shoulder and squeezing it. Logan blinked, still confused.

"Impossible. I am pointless. My existence is pointless. If I planned everything correctly, if Roman and Virgil were correct as I eventually came to accept, then you should be fine. You shouldn't need me. You don't need me. I'm just a smart ass, I don't even do anything," Logan rambled, trembling harder and clutching at Patton's cardigan. Tears began to slip down his cheeks again and Patton felt himself starting to panic, not really knowing what to do.

"That's not true!" Roman shouted, getting to his feet. Logan flinched and grimaced at the loud noise and covered his ears with his hands. Whispering something unintelligible to Logan, Patton gently eased his hands away from his ears and started rocking him slightly in his arms.

"You are needed! I can't believe you're letting a stupid conversation after a bad day influence whether you exist or not," Roman hissed angrily. Logan tensed but sat up straighter. Virgil nodded in agreement with the fanciful trait.

"We were both tired, and just- We were mad, and needed something to actually be mad about so surprise, we decided to get mad about you," Virgil said with a sigh. "You were...kind of annoying that day, but that was our fault. We were ignoring you, and then we...Look, there are no excuses for what we did, what we said...It wasn't true," Virgil added.

"So, you...you really need me? This isn't some...some pity party? You really need me?" Logan asked, bewildered. But weren't they right? Wasn't he useless? Wasn't he unneeded? Why were they-?

"Oh, Lo, you're crying again," Thomas said with a sigh, scooting closer and joining Patton in embracing his logical side. Logan's breathing hitched and he sniffed, noticing the tears running down his cheeks. He silently cursed himself for being such an emotional mess and spluttered out apologies, but all of the others insisted that it was fine, and he had a right to cry. Virgil and Roman joined the hug as well.

"I'm so sorry, Lo. Don't ever leave us again," Virgil muttered, going in front of Logan and wrapping his arms around him as best as he could, burying his face in his shoulder. A sob bubbled up out of Logan's throat and he clung to Patton and Thomas, shaking as he sobbed and cried and was held and loved and cherished just like he'd always wanted.

"I w-won't, I promise," Logan choked out between sobs, giving Virgil and Roman watery smiles. The two traits smiled back, tears of their own gathering in their eyes. Virgil squeezed Logan's hand before letting go of him and sitting back, and Roman did the same after pressing a kiss to Logan's hair.

"I say this calls for a cuddle session in my room!" Patton said with a grin, gingerly scooping Logan up in his arms, blankets and all. "Would you like that, Logan?" he asked gently. Logan nodded silently and rested his head on Patton's chest, moving one of his arms out from underneath himself and making a grab at Thomas, silently asking him to hold his hand as they walked. Thomas complied, lacing their fingers together and staying close to Logan as they walked to Patton's room, Roman and Virgil following close behind.

Logan fell asleep surrounded by the embraces of Thomas, Patton, Virgil, and Roman, a content smile on his face. He was finally wanted.