A/n: I'm going to be for real with you guys, I had a dream about this prompt. A DREAM. I was Janus 💀💀💀

So, naturally I decided to start working on this prompt as soon as I woke up. (Was interrupted by church tho)Thank you SO SO much little_pupcup I loved writing this robber AU, lol!

Robbers: Janus and Roman

Victim: Patton

"Roman will you stop talking?!" Janus hissed, "what about robbing a house do you not understand?" He snapped.

"Well, i'm sorry that this is a little new to me!" And it was true. Roman had only been robbing for a year, and while that may seem like a long time, but it wasn't like they robbed houses every single day—no. They'd be discovered. They had to do them few and far apart, in a completely different area and neighborhood each time as to not raise any suspicions.

"Oh, is it not basic knowledge that you don't make talk so loud while trying to rob someone's home?! I am so going to yell at you when we get out of here!" Janus hissed.

At that moment, a light turned on. Both of them whipped their heads towards the light switch. But...nobody was there.

"What the fu—"

Before Roman could finish his vulgar statement, both of them were bonked over the head in rapid succession with a frying pan, another man standing above their bodies that immediately crippled onto the floor. His chest was heaving, moving rapidly, up and down.

He ran a shaking hand through his sweaty hair, "okay. Okay okay okay. I've got this" he muttered, poking the bodies with the end of the pan. They were knocked out, unmoving. Their bags full of stolen items were on the floor next to him.

He sighed, his entire body shaking with fear as he wondered what he should do with them.

————————————————————

Janus groaned. He came to consciousness with a pounding headache, that surely would develop into a migraine, unable to open his eyes for a solid minute. When he finally did, he was blinded by the lights in the room. He shook his head, but froze when that just shot a searing, white hot pain through his skull.

He mentally prepared himself, before trying to open his eyes again. He blinked rapidly, and squinted. Everything was disoriented. After a few minutes the blurs went away and his vision came to him.

"Roman?" Janus asked, frantic when the memories came flooding back to him, "Roman, are you okay?!"

He heard a groan from beside him, "my head hurts like a mother fuc—"

All or a sudden the door opened, "Who are you?!" A voice asked, high pitched, "I have a frying pan and I am not afraid to use it!" He cried, "...again" he added, "now, what were you doing in my house?!"

Roman rolled his eyes, "Was it not obvious? We were robbing you—"

"Dude!" Janus yelled, kicking Roman from where they were, both handcuffed to a bed, their wrists above them on the headboard, "you can't just admit to it!"

"Ow—sorry! Sorry, sorry, my head is still messed up!" He defended.

"Well, obviously!" Janus fumed.

"Enough!" Patton yelled, "that is enough! Now, answer my questions! What. Are. Your. Names?!"

"My name" Janus said, quick to come up with a lie, "is Owen. That" he gestured with his foot to Roman, "is David. Now, what's your name?" He questioned, ignoring Roman's confused look.

"I don't owe you anything!" The man snapped, "you're not in any position to be asking me questions!"

"Okay, okay! Fair, fair. But like—we need to address as something, don't we?" Roman pointed out.

"I'm Patton" the man said finally, after a few moments of thinking, "I'm calling the cops!" He exclaimed as he exited the room, pointing to the phone in his hand as emphasis, "and don't move!"

Janus gave the man a dry look as he left, "we literally couldn't if we tried."

"Well, i'm going to try anyways" Roman mumbled after Patton left, writhing against the handcuffs. He didn't ask Janus about the name change, because for once he seemed to remember one of the robbery rules. If the cops aren't there, there's a chance of escape. And if there's a chance of escape, give as little information as possible—even false information.

Janus did the same, trying to bust out of the cuffs, and they both struggled for a while.

"These things are tight" Janus said.

And as the adrenaline died down, he began to notice something. Something humiliating. He had to pee. And quite frankly, escape seemed futile, and he was not about to he caught by the police soaked in his own piss, so he knew he would have to ask to go.

When Patton came back, Janus launched into his question. He wasn't sure how long they'd been knocked out for but he really had to go, "Hey—let us go. Please" he begged, hoping it would work so that he didn't have to lose his dignity.

Patton nearly laughed, "no!"

"Can you let me use the bathroom at least?" He begged, cringing, "I like, really have to go."

Patton narrowed his eyes, "nice try. I'm not as dumb as I look."

"No, I do! Please, save me the humiliation at least, of the police offers arresting me while i'm covered in my own piss" Janus said. Patton still looked unsure, "please" he said, not even meaning to let the whimper in his voice.

His cheeks burned a dull shade of red. He could feel Roman's questioning look, but he didn't dare glance over, as Roman had never seen him in such a state before. He was absolutely humiliated.

Patton bit his lip, clearly giving it  some thought, before sighing, "fine. Don't try anything funny."

He uncuffed Janus and brought him to the bathroom.

When Patton made no attempts to leave, Janus made no attempts to pull himself out. Neither of them said anything for a while, but Janus was literally potty dancing, so he had to do something, "Are you...gonna watch?" He asked nervously.

"Well, um, i'm not exactly going to leave you alone" Patton said awkwardly.

"That's...fair" Janus whispered, taking himself out, turning from Patton slightly and trying to go. He tried really hard, but found that he just couldn't. He was having an extreme case of stage fright, and Patton's watchful gaze was helping nothing. He was quickly growing frustrated with himself as he tried to release his bladder. But nothing would come out, no matter how hard he pushed.

'Relax, relax relax' Janus thought to himself, closing his eyes. Not so much of a drop came out, which was extremely worrying to Janus, because he knew that Patton was going to say something, and that as soon as he put himself back into his pants, he was going to piss himself.

He stood there for a solid three minutes before Patton sighed. Janus's shoulders tensed.

"You lied. I knew it. Come on, let's go back."

Damn it.

Janus swallowed thickly, close to crying as he tucked himself back into his pants. His bladder felt physically heavy, and he practically had to waddle in order to get back to the room. Just as he was about to be cuffed to the be again, he gasped, muttering curses as he doubled over. His hands were buried deep in his crotch, but trying to hold back was no use, he could feel the piss slipping between his fingers and trailing down his legs.

Patton just watched, in complete and utter shock, "what are you doing?" He sputtered.

"I'm pissing myself, what the hell does it look like i'm doing?!" Janus snapped.

Roman was in just as much shock as Patton, really. Hell, he didn't even believe Janus when he said he had to piss, he thought it was all just a decoy so that they could escape.

Patton was backing up in shock, and Roman saw it as the perfect opportunity to kick him, and kick him hard. Patton cried out and fell to the floor, the handcuff keys flying out of his hold. Roman caught them with his foot and threw them to his mouth. He then leaned upwards and placed them in his hands, quickly undoing the cuffs.

When he finally got out, he rubbed his raw wrists for a second and cringed at the bruises forming, before he went over to Patton, who was still on the ground, and kicked him in the back of the head. Patton fainted promptly, and Roman grabbed Janus, "come on, we have to go!"

Janus, looking down at himself, was extremely embarrassed, "w-wait! We can't leave behind any tracks, did you touch anything?!"

"Janus, we have gloves on" Roman deadpanned.

"O-oh, r-right" Janus stuttered, we—we need to clean the um. The piss—that has DNA in it, right?"

"Shit, I don't know, man!" Roman cried, clearly stressed out, "we have to leave, he called the cops, dude!"

"Okay, okay" Janus said, obviously panicked as he ran to Patton's bathroom and grabbed a towel off the floor. He scrubbed the wooden floor with it and sopped up his mess, "we can't exactly leave the towel behind now." He tucked it under his arm.

"Great, let's go!" Roman exclaimed, grabbing Janus by the arm and bolting out of the house, not even bothering to close the door.

"I—i'm never robbing again" Janus said, out of breath as they ran.

Roman panted, "yeah. Never again. Let's agree to like, work for our money now."

"Totally" Janus said, nodding.

A/n: Sorry it's kinda short but I couldn't really think of anything else to write 👌

Words: 1621