A/n: Time for Janus's redemption arc🥵🥵🥵 I actually have some warnings for this chapter, it'll get pretty angsty.

For fallen_willow_tree I'm so sorry this took so long lol thanks for requesting!!

First off—if you read the prompt in the picture above, you'll know that self harm will be a thing in this chapter, so that's a big one. If you guys feel triggered by this, please don't read 💙

There will also be bullying and stuff. If ya'll forgot what happened in pt. 1, basically Janus bullied Logan for wetting himself during a video game and Janus told the whole school and showed pics. Then Remus beat him up bc Logan was getting bullied then Jan wet himself while getting beat up and now he gets bullied instead bc the othet kids got videos😙😙😙

Stay safe, loves!💛🖤💛🖤💛

For fallen_willow_tree

More often than not, Remus and Logan would see Janus around the halls at school getting teased and bullied by multiple people. Sometimes it was just verbal, but it got pretty physical at times.

It had been a while since the whole...incident. A few months actually, and while Logan spent many of those weeks awake at night, thinking about everything he couldn't help but feel mentally drained. Everything was..a lot to process.

Even though his self esteem had been completely destroyed, he was beginning to feel better. It had been months and nobody had mentioned the whole wetting himself during a horror video game thing, so he eventually started to feel better. But it was still embarrassing, knowing that everyone knew. That it was in the back of everyone's minds.

He knew that it was still recent enough to be remembered through, because he heard some new people moved in the school district, and some upperclassmen were whispering and laughing as they told the story.

Still, Janus was still the main victim to all the teasing. And well, after a lot of time and consideration, Logan couldn't help but to feel bad for him.

Janus had completely changed. He grew from loud, snarky and confident to quiet and withdrawn from people. He drifted away from activities he used to love. He just became humbled so quick.

Logan saw him interacting with some mutual friends, Patton and Roman. It was weird to see him so much less deceptive, and more...normal? It was crazy weird. He treated them like actual friends instead of punching bags.

Logan had been speaking with Remus and Virgil about how he felt about the situation and they were both had pretty much the same opinions on the matter.

"Nuh uh. He deserves this" Virgil said, after Logan had inquired that maybe Janus deserved another chance, "Honestly i'm surprised it took Remus so long. I actually had the balls to cut him off months ago, but Remus was too reluctant to give up an old friend. Those few good memories really do shine through and make it harder to give people up."

"Yeah...I only knew him for a little while but the horror stories you guys tell me about him...yeah. You're right. Maybe he is just terrible. Maybe he's just waiting to build up Ro and Pat's trust before he strikes Logan said with some thought, "hey...maybe we could ask Patton and Roman? They're friends with him."

Virgil gave him a dry look, "Logan. They're gullible and easily manipulated."

Logan sighed, "oh come on, give credit where it's due! Roman's smarter than you think."

Virgil scoffed, "i'm dating him. Trust me, he's a dumbass. Just yesterday he tried to put chips in the fridge. Chips."

"That's not too bad, I think a lot of people do that" Logan shrugged.

"What kind of psychopath wants cold chips?!" Virgil seethed, "gross!"

"Roman is pretty dumb" Remus commented, "trust me. He's my twin, i've lived with him my entire life. One time he wrote a love poem and put it in the wrong person's locker."

"Yeah, that's how we got together" Virgil smirked, "he felt too bad to tell me, so we went on a date. He was going to try to tell me the truth and buy me dinner to sweeten the deal, but I was just too irresistible so he caught feelings and stayed with me. He told me about it a few months later. I was the superior crush, so.."

"Wow" Logan said, "that sounds just like him..." he sighed, "but I just...still don't know about the whole Janus thing. I oddly feel like he deserves another chance?"

Virgil shook his head, "Maybe so, if this was the first time he's done something like that—but Logan, he's always been kind of toxic. It's not even just what he does, it's how he acts and speaks—like, I just want to murder him every time he opens that mouth, his every word is laced with his own superiority complex!"

Before Logan could respond, the one minute warning bell rung, "catch you guys later, you know how much of a bitch Mrs. Cecil is. If i'm not in the desk before the bell goes off then it's an absent mark. Cya!"

Remus and Logan said their goodbyes, before walking to class together. He sighed. Maybe Virgil and Remus were right. Janus was fine.

————————————————————

The bitter taste of iron filled Janus's mouth as he bit his lip hard enough to draw blood. He continued to gnaw on it in attempt to ground himself as the speed of his breathing increased.

He thought of every decision he'd ever made that lead him up to this point in life. The more he thought, the more he couldn't believe what he had done.

He felt so extremely guilty for everything that had happened. He didn't miss the tense looked and locked jaw from Logan every time the boy walked down the hallway. He didn't miss how everybody would look at him with disgust or malice every day. And he certainly didn't appreciate all of the bullying and side comments.

Every day at school was absolute hell, and he just couldn't take it any longer. He closed his eyes as they were met with his familiar knife, and took in a shaky breath. He didn't want to do this anymore! He didn't want to live everyday avoiding Logan, acting like he didn't care, and then cutting and crying every night!

He didn't want to..nobody wanted to live like that.

But that was his reality.

He inhaled through his nose as he rolled up his sleeve, already littered with cuts. Old, new, long, thin, deep and shallow. Everything under the sun. He released his breath through his mouth, finally letting the tears spill down his face as the sharp, metallic surface sliced through his skin, leaving a long, deep cut across his wrists.

Blood began to seep through immediately, little beads that quickly became large pools sliding down his wrists and dripping onto the floor beneath him. He let out a choked sob as he continued.

He went on and on and on, eventually dropping the knife, not paying attention as it clattered against the floor. He clawed at his arms, reopening old scars and tearing at his flesh until the panic subsided and the pain forced him to stop.

He closed his eyes and hummed as he let the pain course through his body. He deserved this. Every mistake deserved a scar. And he had made a lit of mistakes.

He numbly thought of another mistake he made.

He had never truly apologized to Logan.

Slice.

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Logan put some more thought into the whole Janus situation as he sat in class the next day, and after watching him a little bit over the duration of the class period as he interacted with Roman and Patton, he had made up his mind.

He quickly scribbled something on a piece of paper and handed it to Remus, who looked at it boredly as he grabbed it. 'I'm inviting Janus to our sleepover tonight.'

Remus quickly shot his head up as he processed the words, and wrote down his own little note, 'What do you mean? You can't do that why would you ever do that?'

Logan rolled his eyes, 'You're being dramatic. I think he needs a few more friends. This bullying has gone on far too long, and I think he feels really guilty about the whole thing now that it's happened to him and he knows what it's like.'

Remus huffed, 'If he really felt that way he would say sorry.'

Logan took the note back and scribbled down one last thing.

'Remus, he's clearly embarrassed to talk about it. Plus, sometimes it's hard to say sorry when you know you're in the wrong. Besides, he's changed—just look a how he interacts with Patton and Roman"

Remus glanced up at Janus, who wasn't too far away from them. He was snickering at some joke Patton had made—but strangely, it wasn't the same snarky scoff that they were used to. And it wasn't followed by a usual insult. He just looked at Patton with something so genuine that Remus was honestly kinda shocked.

"It's like that same feeling you get being the older sibling, who'd be beat and screamed at, watching how your parent's discipline has changed throughout the years to where all they do is put the younger kids in the corner or something" Logan whispered.

"Are you..okay?" Remus whispered.

"Are you seriously asking me that question? You out of all people?" Logan said dryly.

Remus shrugged, "fair point, actually..but fine, he can come over. He doesn't seem..too bad.."

So after class, Logan flagged down Janus, who was still with Roman and Patton, who, reasonably, tensed up. They knew all about the drama, the group chat was absolutely insane for a few days. They had their reasons for sticking with Janus, and it kinda caused a tear in the group's relationship.

That was another reason Logan wanted to befriend him again. It was exhausting to having to avoid two friends because of an ex friend who they still associate with. Believe it or not, as much as Logan got annoyed and argued with Roman, and how much Patton's puns annoyed him, the group just wasn't the same without the two.

Even with Janus, things were different—he kind of missed the constant bicker between him and Virgil, or how Janus was the wine aunt who was done with everyone's shit, but also gossiped like nobody's business and stopped Remus from burning down a few McDonald's.

"Hello, Janus" Logan said as he approached.

"Hey..." Janus mumbled awkwardly with a small wave. He glanced between Roman and Patton, and then bowed his head and looked to the ground, fidgeting with his hands because what was he supposed to do with them, "what's up?"

"Oh, I was just wondering if you wanted to come over to my house for a video game sleepover...just you, me, Remus and a slowly dwindling will to live as we become increasingly frustrated with each other. You know, like old times?" Logan asked, looking towards him expectantly.

Janus stood there, mouth agape in shock as he snapped his head up. A few shocked noises came out of him as Roman and Patton started freaking out in the background, going absolutely insane. They had been waiting for one of them to make up for the longest time now.

"He would love to!" Patton exclaimed, grabbing Janus's shoulders, showing off a grin, "right, Janus?!"

"I-um—yes!" He stuttered out quickly, "yes! I just...why?" He asked, "I mean, after all that I did—"

"It is water under the metaphorical bridge. It's been a while and i've had time to process everything. I've decided that it would be better to try and make up, wouldn't you think so?" Logan questioned.

Janus nodded quickly.

"Wonderful. Perhaps we could talk more about it all tonight? Get through all of the..feelings..it won't be perfect, but..it'll be a start" he offered a small smile. When Janus didn't say anything, Roma smacked him on the shoulder.

"O-okay!" Janus sputtered out automatically, clutching his sleeves tightly, "I'd like that. A lot. ...Thank you.."

As Logan walked away, he gave a slight nod, before he stopped for a moment, turning back for a brief moment and looked at Janus, "and I suppose... I also missed having you around."

Janus stood there in the middle of the hallway, his jaw dropped while he looked after Logan as he walked out of his sight.

"He's forgiving you!" Roman whisper screamed, smacking his shoulder multiple times before looping his arm in his elbow, Patton doing the same on the opposite side of Janus.

"I don't know what I did to deserve it?" Janus mumbled, "I haven't really interacted with him sense the..y'know, incident."

"Well, i'm glad you two are making up!" Patton exclaimed as they begun to walk to the busses, "how about we all head to your house a while to talk about it while you pack for the sleepover?"

Janus nodded, "that'd be cool."

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"Are you sure you want to do this?" Virgil asked apprehensively on the bus after being informed of the whole thing, "what if you're just letting someone extremely toxic back
Into your life after getting rid of them?"

"I think he's changed" Logan said, "and as cliche as this sounds, I believe in second chances. I think Janus has some redeeming qualities. It won't fix everything, certainly, but it will be a start."

"Yeah" Remus agreed, "as much as he could be a jerk sometimes it was kinda fun to go back and forth with him. Quippy insults and all that. Of course, he always took it too far but you've met me, I would take it way too far."

Virgil exhaled through his nose, "yeah, if it weren't for all the red flags then Remus and Janus could've been best friends. You guys both just don't know when to stop."

"I know what happened between you and Janus" Logan said, "but perhaps it's time you two tried to move on? Maybe talk about things. He seems open to getting some old friends back, and i'm sure you guys had some good moments."

"We had a lot of good moments" Virgil sighed as his stop approached. He threw his backpack over his shoulder and stood up, "maybe I will give it another shot. Just..i'm worried about you. You were messed up for a long time after what happened and I don't wanna see you get hurt like that again. You're my best friend, Lo."

Remus scoffed, "and what am I, chopped liver?!"

"Yes" Virgil deadpanned, "Cya. I'm probably going to go skateboard by myself and be lonely for a while or listen to emo music and yell at my mom."

"Okay, bye!" Remus exclaimed, "that reminds me—tell your dad I said hi! And ask him what he's doing with all that ass!"

A few other kids on the bus looked up, and the bus driver glanced up in concern. Virgil smirked, "that ass runs in the family in case you haven't noticed!"

"Get off of my bus" the driver said seriously.

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Hours later, Remus had arrived at Logan's house, and they were all just waiting for Janus to show up. They'd been setting up the video gams when there were three sharp knocks on the door. Janus.

Logan opened the door and gave Janus a brief nod, inviting him inside, "Hello Janus. Thank you for coming."

"Uh, hey. Thanks for inviting me" he said, his voice trailing off into a mumble at the look Remus was giving him from behind Logan.

"Well, how about we get started with some video games?" Logan questioned, beckoning Janus over to sit between them.

"Hey, Logan" Janus said, biting his lip, "I am sincerely sorry for what I did..I don't know what I was thinking, or what went through my mind, but I guess in some twisted way, I thought it was funny. Looking back now I see how horrible what I did was, and I know this won't make anything better, but...I really am sorry for what I did."

"An apology is always a good start" Logan said with a small smile, "it shows that you're ready to change. Thank you."

Janus nodded, a smile on his face as Remus started up the game. The entire thing was incredibly awkward, but they somehow managed to get through the first few levels with a tense silence.

Eventually, they loosened up a little bit when Logan started some light conversation. Remus was kind of taken aback when Janus didn't insert himself like he usually did.

The Janus they knew was a lot of things. Charismatic, snarky, confident, manipulative, a little bit of a compulsive liar—but one thing he was not was shy—the Janus they knew never second guessed himself, or looked scared to share his opinion.

But this wasn't the Janus they knew, was it? Something seemed to change dramatically with him over the last couple of months, because right then he was being everything that he never was.

"So, Janus" Remus began, "what've you been up to with Pat and Ro? They seem to really like you—I mean, Roman seems to always be hanging out with you guys."

"We just do uhm, n-normal things like go to each other's houses, watch movies, hang out in town, have slumber parties or just talk..we do a lot of-of stuff" he mumbled, clicking three buttons in a wild pattern over and over to unlock a secret combo. He delivered the final shot to the boss and they finally got past level nine.

Logan and Remus shared a look, because Janus just mumbled and stuttered all in one sentence. He's evidently loosing some self confidence.

"That's cool—oh, nice shot, dude" Remus said as they walked their characters into the next level.

He got a small thanks in return and they moved back into normal conversation.

Eventually the night came to a close, and they decided to get to sleep. Well—decided was a stretch. Logan's mom woke up when they all started giggling over something—(everything was funnier when you're about to pass out from exhaustion) and they had to run away before she realized that Janus was there.

Protective mama mode was not something to be trifled with.

It was probably pointless to go to bed, because they all stayed up for like an hour chatting and whisper screaming about stuff. It was impossible to not goof off before sleeping.

In Logan's book, it was all going well. One good night certainly wasn't going to fix everything. There was a lot that they needed to talk about, and a lot that they were avoiding.

But for just that night, it seemed like everything was looking up.

————————————————————

Why was everything so warm?

Janus blinked awake, rubbing the tiredness out of his eyes as he sat up, "mmmmph" he groaned, adjusting his eyes for a moment to check the time. Four am. Great. He was about to lay back down, but froze when he realized he wasn't just warm—he was wet.

He shot a hand over his mouth to stop himself from gasping, and widened his eyes. He wet the bed at Logan's house. What was he going to do?!

Of course that was how he was going to wake up, because why wouldn't it be?! He rubbed furiously at his eyes as he took in a shaky breath. Don't cry, don't cry, don't cr—

A strangled sob escaped his throat as he tried not to scream. He started hitting the side of his head and tugging at his hair to ground himself but it wasn't working. He couldn't breathe—why couldn't he breathe?!

His breaths quickened and his chest felt like it was on fire. He couldn't make out anything in the dark, especially with the tears clouding his vision.

Why the hell couldn't he breathe?! Maybe the panic combined with the stress was triggering something?!(Yeah dumbass, it's called a panic attack—) Remus's inhaler! That could help, right?!

"L—Logan" he whispered shakily, "Logan, Logan!" He cried, choking on a breath, "L-Lo, please wake up!"

Logan blinked awake and muttered something, rolling over to look at Janus, who was in his small makeshift bed on the floor surrounded by pillows and blankets. He gasped and jumped up, turning on the bedside lamp when he heard him crying, "Janus, what's the matter?!"

He put his glasses on and got up, watching as the crying intensified and Remus began to stir.

"C—c-can't b-rea-breathe" he said, letting out a shaky breath.

"Here, let me—"

"STOP!" Janus exclaimed as Logan came closer, pulling the blanket over himself, "d-don't—i'm sorry, i'm so, so sorry!" He wailed, "I didn't mean t-to it was an accident!"

"What the hell is going on?" Remus mumbled, adjusting his eyes to the lamp's light and squinting, "Jan..are you okay?" He asked cautiously, looking to Logan, who was looking at Janus with uncertainty in his eyes, a hesitant arm outstretched to help from where he stood crouched a little bit away from the shaking boy.

Janus just whimpered, "In-inhaler" he gasped, "can't breathe—"

"Oh shoot, okay" Remus said grabbing his inhaler off of Logan's nightstand and fumbling for a moment, handing it to him, "here take two shots of it."

"It's not beer" Logan scoffed.

Janus just nodded, putting it in his mouth and pressing down with his thumbs as a pump of air entered him. He breathed slow and steady, relaxing as he did it again.

He inhaled deeply, his chest rising and falling slowly, tears streaming down his face, "t-thanks" Janus choked out quietly, "i-i'm sorry" he whispered, "I didn't mean to" the blanket moved down a little bit and both of them noticed the huge, glistening wet stain around his crotch.

They both made an o shape with their mouths. Remus had no freaking idea how to deal with this, and neither did Logan, to be honest, but he approached Janus cautiously, "hey, it's okay—how about you head to the bathroom and change? We can just uh, wash all of this, alright? Remus, go get the cleaning supplies."

Janus's lip quivered as Remus ran out of the room. He whimpered, "w-what? That's it? You're not going to get revenge?"

"I think you've been through enough" Logan said, "I think we all have. And I can see that you've changed..even if it's weird to accept...go on, we'll take care of this."

Logan leaned down and grabbed Janus's arms to help him up, but Janus immediately teared up and flinched away, holding his hand up. His sleeve rolled down his arm and revealed several harsh, jagged slices that were barely even healed, along with some old scabbed over scars.

Logan stared at Janus, shock evident on his features. He clapped a hand over his mouth, and Janus flinched away, getting up quickly, cringing as the cold urine made his clothes stick to his skin and uncomfortably rub against his thighs. He scrambled to grab his bag and head off to the bathroom.

Logan just sat there in shock until Remus arrived and asked what happened.

"Remus.." Logan whispered, looking at him with serious, watery eyes, "Remus. I think that Janus has been self harming."

Remus's eyes widened, looking at Logan with shock, "are y-are you sure?" He whisperer, keeping his voice low so that Janus couldn't hear them.

Logan looked towards his bathroom door, hearing the soft cries that Janus was trying to force away, "yeah. I saw them. His sleeve rolled up his arm...and most of them were new and—and it looked like there were some old ones that had been reopened, and..well, I don't know what to do."

Remus let out a shaky breath, "Okay. Okay, we just have to like—talk with him and..see what's up?"

"We know what's up, Remus. He gets bullied—verbally and physically every single day. It's so clear that he felt guilty about what he did to me, and i'm willing to bet he feels guilty about whatever past he had with you and Virgil, too. He keeps so many emotions inside and he doesn't know what to do with them" Logan said.

"And we saw it happening..we see the bullying happening and we never did anything. We never even told a teacher" Remus commented, "oh no.."

"I don't know how to feel..on one hand, I mean, he started all this. But on the other hand..no one deserves this" Logan said, finally picking up some cleaning supplies to wipe the floor down with.

"You're right" Remus whispered.

Janus exited the bathroom eventually, looking down to his feet. His face was red and he had tear tracks running down his cheeks. He walked over to Logan, who was beckoning him over. His chin wobbled as he looked up.

"Janus.." Logan whispered, "are you..are you cutting yourself?"

Janus tensed up at the question, tears prickling in his eyes as he looked away. He gave a slight nod. Logan patted a spot next to him and Remus on his bed, and he sat down carefully. He wiped his eyes and sniffled, "why do you care?" His voice cracked, "you shouldn't care. After everything I did—"

Logan cut him off, "Janus, I believe in change. It's only logical that no one person can stay the same forever. I know that the feelings and memories of what happened won't go away, but it's clear that you're making an effort, and it's appreciated..what you did..it's in the past now."

"You can't just—you can't just forgive me" Janus exclaimed, "you can't just put it in the past and say it never happened, because Logan, I know how much this effected you. I've seen and heard so much and I just—I can't even possibly put into words how sorry I al that you had to go through all of that" his voice cracked and he buried his face in his hands, "please, Logan. Please don't forgive me" he whispered.

"Janus...we can talk about everything that happened at a later date if you wish, however right now it's quite evident that you are in need of some help. And I know it'll take some time on both of our parts. But I really do think that we can mend this friendship, if you're willing" Logan said.

"Yeah, Janus. As much as i'k skeptical about you..Logan's right. I wouldn't call it water under the bridge, or say that you're forgiven quite yet..but come on, man. Does anybody know about this?" He gestured to the teen's arms.

"No. No one does..." he mumbled.

"I think it would be wise to tell a trusted adult" Logan said, "perhaps your parents? Or a school counselor?"

Janus stared at the floor, "I don't...I don't want anybody else to know..adults lead to professional help. Which leads to mental hospitals, or—or therapy, and then they're going to ask why I felt like I needed to—and it goes so much deeper than the bullying, I just—I just feel so overwhelmingly guilty, and It's so hard to comprehend that i'm the same person that did all of that horrible stuff three months ago."

"I've had a lot of time to reflect. I've done a lot of journaling, and writing and thinking—and I just had like..I don't even know, so much going on" he whispered, burying his face into his knees and covering his head with his arms, "and i'm sorry for being such a horrible friend, Logan. I'm sorry for everything I did to you too, for all those years Remus, I just. I just want to change."

"You can change" Remus said, "but change starts with action. And the first action you need to take is getting help and changing how you view yourself."

"Impossible" Janus chuckled dryly, "i'll always think of myself as a pile of trash."

"I wish Patton was here to physically fight you for saying that, because i'm not very good with..feeling" Logan shivered, "come on. How about we talk to my mom? She can help."

Janus bit his lip and nodded. This was going to be a long process.

————————————————————

A couple of months after that, Janus had talked to his parents, as well as Patton and Roman about the whole thing. He was in a steady therapy schedule, and working thoroughly to fix his relationships.

Getting through to Virgil was tough, but eventually Virgil decided to start tolerating Janus, even going out with the rest of them on group hang out days. He found himself enjoying quipping back and forth with him.

Calling themselves friends was a bit of a stretch, because..well, they still had a lot of work to do. But things were starting to look up for everyone involved. Virgil even defended Janus in the hallway as they were walking to class one day—that was a shock.

Sometimes Remus, Janus, Virgil and Logan all got together to just..talk. Talk about everything that had happened, and that was something that really helped. It was also fun for Logan to finally be able to hear some horror stories about why Virgil and Janus hated each other.

The middle school drama was..shocking. How was Janus so evil as a twelve year old? It didn't make sense to him how someone so young could ruin so many lives, but talking about it really seemed to help.

It was actually quite laughable, Janus and Virgil both smirking at each other as hey recounted embarrassing stories, and even some good moments they had together.

They were on the road of forgiveness and recovery, and it was going surprisingly well, in Logan's book.

A/n: This was so hard to end because like how do you even make this realistic bro I don't even have friends so I wouldn't even be able to imagine this happening 💀🤚

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