A/n: I know I just did a Janus one, but I literally just now realized that as I finished up writing this, and it's kinda sorta 11:10pm for me right now, so yeah I don't have time to whip anything else up before the day ends, sorry ya'll💀

This is for @whatever23t, thank you very much for the prompt! 🥲🥰🥰

"You've been having many accidents lately" Sarah noted, writing down everything of importance that was said in her note pad. Her legs were crossed from where she sat on her rolling chair, and she had a small desk in front of her that held a laptop.

"Yeah" Janus said awkwardly, his voice small. He had been going to therapy for quite a while now, and didn't seem to be making any progress with his anxiety.

Sarah thought for just a moment before continuing, "could you describe to me how you feel before they happen? Like, the reasons you think you get so afraid of asking?"

"I—I can't think of any reasons. I've tried" Janus began, "I just—the words won't come out, I guess? I open my mouth and it's like...like i've forgotten how to speak" he mumbled, "and my heart gets all fast and my brain jumbles up, and I feel like i'm going to cry."

Sarah nodded, "have you made any sort of progress? I mean, have you asked your friends when your out with them?"

Janus shook his head in the negative, clearly becoming worked up, "no, I—even when i'm alone I can't seem to do it! I'm new here and I don't know where any bathrooms are, and i'm certainly not asking a stranger—and even if I do find a bathroom, I c-can'y because i'm afraid someone will hear me."

Sarah listened to his panicked explanation and hummed, "well, why are you afraid of people hearing?"

"I'm just afraid they'll judge me I guess? I get too shy, and it doesn't come out, and then—then I get worried people look at me weird because i'm just standing there, holding up the line because i'm not going" Janus explained.

She nodded, "hm. This is a huge problem, as it affects your day to day life. Let me just ask you this: when you hear someone else ask where the bathroom is—or if they ask you where it is, what do you think of them?"

"Well...I mean, I don't really think anything of it" he admitted.

"Exactly" Sarah said, "and neither does anybody else."

He groaned, "I know that, i'm just stupid!"

"Believe me" Sarah told him, "you are not stupid. I have a suggestion for you, but usually my patients don't take kindly to it..."

Janus gulped, nodding for her to continue.

"Well, i've only had you for three weeks, but I can tell that this problem is going to last a while. How about you dry some adult diapers?" She suggested kindly.

Janus tensed up, "w—what?! Won't that just enable the problem? Because there won't be a consequence—"

"Your bladder doesn't understand consequence" Sarah chuckled, "and this is just temporary, until we can get to the source, start you on medicine, and find ways to ease your anxiety. The diapers will help lessen your public panic attacks and help you with any mess. Not to mention, nobody will even know. What do you say? Will you give it a shot?"

"I don't know. That just seems extremely lazy, for me to pee in a diaper when I'm fully capable of using the bathroom" Janus said uncomfortably.

"You're clearly not fully capable if you're having so many accidents" Sarah said gently, "you shouldn't be wetting yourself during a thirty minute shopping trip if you went before leaving the house. I think there may be more to it than just the psychological aspect."

Janus looked down at his feet, "okay. I'm going to try the diapers" he mumbled.

Sarah smiled, "that's all I ask. There are other options as well if the diapers make you feel uncomfy. Padded underwear, absorbent underwear, there are many adult options for this kind of thing."

"Thank you, Mrs. Smith. I really appreciate this" Janus told her.

"It's my job. And please. Call me Sarah, dear. This doesn't have to be strictly professional. If it makes it easier, we could be friends" she smiled, "a lot of people treat their therapists as friends. It's hard not to when you've known them for so long and share all of your secrets and trauma with them."

Janus nodded, and Sarah told him it was time to wrap things up.

"Remember what we talked about, and try to work on it this week, okay? You don't have to make a big leap. This is about taking small steps. I'm looking forward to our next session" Sarah smiled.

Janus smiled shyly back, "thanks...Sarah."

Her smile brightened as he got up.

———————————————————-

So Janus ended up getting the diapers. It took a few weeks before he actually tried one on. He stared at the package in his room for a long time, feeling like it was taunting him.

Eventually, after a little nudge from his therapist, he ended up putting one on. He didn't go out in public with one for another week, paranoid about someone seeing the outline of it or hearing the crinkle.

Sarah had informed him that it was all in his head and nobody would notice, but if he wore baggy clothes it would probably ease his mind.

So, that's what he did. He stared in the mirror for way longer than necessary,  and tried on several different outfits before settling on the ones that made it the least noticeable.

He had yet to actually pee in a diaper, but he had cut it close many times. After talking with Sarah a little more, she told him that he may need to see a real doctor for his bladder, just to make sure nothing was wrong.

Janus thought that it was very possible something was wrong. Because of his shyness, back in school he had never asked for the bathroom. He went nine hours a day with no bathroom break, constantly dehydrating himself to avoid needing to pee, and bladder infections weekly.

But he didn't tell her about that. Perhaps he should he may have damaged his kidneys severely, or weakened his bladder beyond repair.

He was encouraged to go out with his friends with the diaper on. So, he did. He was extremely worried about it, hut to his surprise, nobody noticed a difference. So, he gradually became more and more confident, and over the course of a few months began to wear clothes that were less baggy.

This of course, came back to bite him.

————————————————————

He had been wearing diapers for about three months now. They were very helpful to him, and he'd grown to like them, especially since he wasn't humiliated every time he had an accident.

He was staring in the mirror, picking out his day's outfit. He was going out with his friends, and it was supposed to be a day trip around the town. Since it was a little chilly outside, he grabbed a flannel to go with a pair of jeans.

He hadn't worn jeans out in public for months, but he was growing more and more confident with the diapers since nobody had noticed them for all this time.

Of course, when he stared in the mirror and noticed that he couldn't see the outline or the padding, he hadn't accounted for how it would look obviously puffed up and saggy when he eventually did use it.

So, he left his house when he heard a car horn honk from outside and hopped in the backseat of Virgil's car along with Roman and Patton.

"Where's Remus at?" Janus questioned.

"He's hanging out at Logan's house. They had a sleepover last night without me so i'm kinda salty about that" Virgil said.

"You three would stay up all night talking about the end of the world or what creatures are at the bottom of the world or something" Roman scoffed.

"And?" Virgil questioned, "it's an interesting topic."

"It's a creepy topic. Why would you want to know when you could just live in ignorant bliss?" Roman questioned.

Virgil shrugged. "I like to give myself more anxiety. It gives me something to justify therapy with."

Janus snorted, and Virgil smirked. He beeped his car horn when he got to Logan's drive way, and didn't stop until they both ran out, screaming at him to stop.

Virgil laughed at the anger radiating off of Logan's body. He was sure that if they were in a cartoon, his face would be beet red, and smoke would be fuming out of his ears.

"Let's just get rolling. Where do we want to go first?" Virgil asked.

"The pet store!" Patton shrieked, "I wanna look at puppies!"

"Well I want to go look at some comic books! I think one of the stores in the mall has a collection of them" Roman said.

"Puppies first" Patton protested seriously, narrowing his eyes at Roman.

Roman didn't back down, matching Patton with a glare of his own, "no."

"Oh my—stop arguing, dear lord, I feel like a soccer mom, okay. Look. Here's the deal" Virgil said, "I will drive to the mall. It has a comic book store and a pet shop, how about that?"

Both seemed satisfied with that, and nodded.

"We can split up into groups if you're that serious about the puppies and comic books, or we can just tale turns doing what we want" Virgil compromised.

"Okay!" Patton chirped.

"Sometimes I feel like Virgil's the dad of the friend group" Logan joked.

"Nah, he's the older gay emo cousin who always gets stuck babysitting the kids" Janus said.

"...That sounded a little personal" Virgil smirked.

"Janus, are you the gay emo cousin who gets stuck babysitting?" Roman asked.

"Awe! Does Jan have a soft side for the kiddos?" Patton cooed.

Janus rolled his eyes, "I don't get stuck with the kids, I enjoy hanging out with them."

Kids were nice to him. The kids never judged him if he wet himself. Sometimes they'd even notice that he had to go and try to bring him to the bathroom, telling him that he didn't have to be shy and that it was okay.

"Well, I think we should look at the epic puppers first" Logan said, squinting at a vocab card.

"I'm going to drive into the ditch if someone doesn't burn those cards Virgil said seriously, "If I have to die of cringe, i'm taking all of you out with me."

"Virgil, don't joke like that!" Patton chastised.

"Okay, okay—Patton, i'm sorry" he said when the other looked genuinely upset.

When Virgil looked back to the road, Patton smirked and Roman feigned a gasp, "Patton, you ate evil."

"What are you two back there giggling about?" Virgil snapped.

"Nothing, dad" Roman joked.

"Don't make him turn this car
around" Janus muttered.

Virgil parked the car in the mall's parking lot, before sighing, "you guys are impossible. Let's go.

————————————————————

The day had been super fun in Janus's opinion. They'd looked at what had to be a hundred dogs, and even had to drag Patton out of the store before he could adopt any. They'd went to look at comic books after that, and Roman purchased a few.

After a few more shops, they stopped at the food court for lunch, letting their tired legs rest for a while. Janus guzzled down a large soda and a burger before following everyone else around some other parts of the store.

It had been about three hours, and Janus had stopped participating the group conversation. He had noticed an hour before that he had to pee, but he was trying to hold out from using his diaper, debating on asking one of his friends where a bathroom was. The mall was huge and he'd never been to this one before.

They'd walked past one or two bathrooms, but they had long lines, and there was no way Janus would make his friends wait for him. Besides, long lines meant packed bathrooms, and packed bathrooms meant that he probably wasn't going to get the privacy of a stall.

He was horrible at making himself look natural as he used the diaper. Usually, he had to stop walking and take a few minutes to coax his shy bladder into relaxing enough to use it. And even then, if he walked while going his movements looked extremely awkward. His face would go red and scrunch up with concentration, and he it was extremely obvious what was happening.

He couldn't just piss his diaper in front of his friends. He needed to go somewhere a little more private, like maybe an isle.

His legs were shaking at that point, and he knee he wasn't going to he able to hold it. His knees buckled and he rubbed his thighs together discreetly. He let out a small huff of sigh.

"Um—Virgil?" Janus mumbled quietly to the other. He felt the most comfortable talking to Virgil when he got shy like this, especially since he struggled with anxiety too, "i'm um. G-going to go to another isle for a minute."

Virgil furrowed his eyebrows with concern. He noticed that Janus had been acting a little more withdrawn and had went quiet about fifteen minutes ago, "overwhelmed?" He whispered, "need a buddy or by yourself?"

That's another reason he liked talking to Virgil. He could be sarcastic and rude, but he knew when to be kind and considerate as well.

Janus hated lying to Virgil, and felt guilty that it came so naturally, nodding when asked if he was overwhelmed, "I j—just need a minute to myself."

"Okay. Text me if you need anything. I mean it" Virgil said, his eyes conveying to Janus how much he cared.

Janus nodded, before slipping off three isles over. Nobody was there, it was perfect. He went close to the back of the isle, and stood there awkwardly for a few moments. But he was far too worked up to go now, his mind was screaming at him that Virgil knew what he was doing, and had told everyone and they were all laughing at him.

He shook his head, deciding his bladder would need a little push, so crouched down to look at a bottom shelf, making sure his position put some strain on his bladder. He closed his eyes, his cheeks dusted pink as he felt a long, warm leak seep into the thick padding of his diaper.

His stream cut off, and he waited a few moments before he continued, relaxing heavily and soiling his diaper. He let out a contented sigh as the strain in his bladder went away and the ache slowly dissipated. It was full, warm, and wet by the time he finished and stood up.

He had certainly been holding it for a while, because as he walked back towards his friend group, he thought it was going to leak.

When Janus returned to his friends, the weird looks they were giving him most certainly did not go unnoticed. It made him paranoid, how they were staring.

"Um. What?" Janus asked, blushing.

"Oh, um. Nothing" Roman said quickly, "I—I—I was just thinking that we should, um—"

"End the shopping trip early" Patton cut in for him, "it's getting kinda late and all."

Janus nearly sighed in relief, because he really needed to change his diaper, it was starting to get uncomfortable, cold, and itchy.

But when they paid for their stuff, and got in the car, he didn't expect the interrogation.

"Janus. Are you wearing a diaper?" Logan asked him.

Janus froze, his shoulders tensing so bad they went up to his ears, "I—U, w—"

"You went off and came back with your jeans looking all puffed up and saggy" Roman cut in.

"You don't have yo be embarrassed" Patton told him kindly, placing a hand on his shoulder.

Janus shook Patton's hand off, "i'm not embarrassed, i'm humiliated."

"Janus, it's really not a big deal" Virgil told him, noticing the tears forming in the other's eyes, "why didn't you tell us?"

Janus huffed out a laugh, "oh, I don't know, because I didn't want you guys to know that I'm so pathetic that I need to wear diapers because i'm too scared to ask to go to the bathroom?!"

Patton was the first to speak in the stunned silence, "you're shy?"

Janus snorted, "understatement of the year. I've been wearing them for months, and they were recommended by my therapist, actually. The doctors actually think I might have some bladder problem on top of that, so lucky me."

"Janus, we can help you with this—don't give me that look—now that we know, we can do things for you" Roman explained.

"What could you possibly do that my therapist hasn't?" Janus deadpanned.

Remus rolled his eyes "your therapist isn't with you as much as we are. We can pick up the signs of when you have to go, or make up some secret code or symbol that you can use that only notifies us so nobody else knows, or like—we can come with you to the bathroom—"

"That's too much" Janus interrupted, "i'd just be a burden at that point, you guys shouldn't have to deal with this, it's my stupid problem, because my brain is messed up, i'm messed up—"

"Hey" Virgil said, his voice serious, "you are not messed up. A lot of people have similar problems. A lot of people need to wear adult diapers, there's nothing wrong with this. And you're jot a burden, we will help you."

Janus wiped his eyes, "t—thanks."

"Anytime. Now let's get home, your diaper is full as hell and I know that's not comfortable" Virgil smirked, relishing in the way Janus's face lit up with a blush.

————————————————————

Much to Janus's surprise, his friends were genuine in their concerns and in their offers. He expected them to drop him off and never talk to him again, but that wasn't the case. They never brought up the diapers, at least not meanly or in a teasing way.

And every time they were out in public, they kept a close eye on him. When they saw him fidgeting or squirming for excessive periods of time, they wouldn't make a big deal of it, just simply take his hand and lead him in the direction of the bathroom.

Something else they liked to do was announce to the group 'oh, I have to pee, anyone wanna come with me in case I get lost?'

Janus thought that it was incredibly sweet of them to be so patient with his anxiety. He talked about this a lot with his therapist, and eventually he ended up making a lot of progress. He didn't get a hundred percent better, and he still wore the diapers, but he was much more comfortable going out in public, knowing his friends would have his back.

A/n: Okay,,, ya'll don't have to read this but Fun fact:

I used to be in therapy for like two years for social anxiety, but like. As someone with social anxiety I hate talking to people, and I hated therapy and I didn't really think it helped. So because of covid I had to do therapy over like, a facetime call thing an hour before school and I thought it was just a huge waste of time and rather than help me, it really increased my anxiety having to talk to her.

So what I did was,,,I lied to her and told her I was making friends at school. 💀 For a few months I talked to her about made up friends and what we did together.  I wrote it down as I talked to her so I wouldn't forget the friend's names, their 'personalities' and 'what we did together.'

Eventually she thought I was doing so much better better and told my mom she didn't think I needed therapy anymore.

I'm still on meds though and see a counselor in person, but it's not that bad bc it's only every 3 months and we only talk for like 15 minutes with my mom in the room about my meds, so like. Winning I guess.

TLDR; My therapist never caught me in my lie, I win.

Words: 3370