Thomas: I do a lot of dumb shit.

Roman: I help him do the dumb shit.

Patton: I support him throughout him doing dumb shit.

Logan: I stay out of the dumb shit.

Virgil: I STOP YOU ASSHOLES FROM DOING DUMB SHIT-

~~~

Patton: [trips on air]

Roman: Haha, you're so clumsy!

Later, when Patton's not around:

Roman, punching at the air: Who do you think you are, who the FUCK DO YOU THINK-

~~~

Patton: Let's play two truths and a lie!

Deceit: Okay, I'm short, my snake eye's yellow, and I snapped someone's neck earlier.

Patton: ...

Logan: Deceit, I think you'll have to make it a bit more challenging-

Patton: His snake eye's green...

Roman:

Virgil:

Logan:

Logan: He fucking killed someone, oh my goodness gracious-

~~~

Virgil, handing Deceit a glass of juice: Alright Dee, drink your juice!

Deceit: I... I watched you pour bleach in this-

Virgil, shoving in his hand: Drink your juice-

~~~

Roman: If Logan stays in Virgil's room for too long does that mean he becomes Microsoft Edge?

Patton: Roman, please it's 4 am go to sleep.

~~~

Roman: [hands a paper to Logan that says "Logan" on it] Here's my to-do list~.

Logan: ...

Logan: [scribles out his name and writes "The Fucking Dishes" and shoves it back in Roman's face]

~~~

Human AU(??? Maybe)

Virgil: I'm a chill laid back guy.

Logan: ... You have a literal diagnosed anxiety disorder.

~~~

Logan, texting: Hello, who is this? Virgil changed all my contacts to mythical creatures.

"Dwarf": What's mine?

Logan: Dwarf.

"Dwarf": HE'S SO MEAN IM NOT THAT SHORT

Logan: Ah, hello Roman.

~~~

Virgil: When I said "break a leg" this is not what I meant...

Roman, gesturing to his broken leg in a cast furiously: YOU THINK THIS WAS PLANNED?!

~~~

Logan: I once had a crush on a guy and didn't know how to handle it so I fulled his car with heart-shaped confetti.

Virgil: That was you?!

~~~

Human AU (???)

Virgil: Everyone's tragic backstory gave them amazing skills and all I got was trust issues and anxiety.

~~~

Patton: I forgot how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6, and 500 in Roman Numerals.

Patton: IM LIVID

Logan: Okay, that one made me chuckle.

(A/N: Of course it did you absolute nerd-)

~~~

Remy: What if instead of "seven minutes in heaven" there was a "seven minutes in hell" and what you do is you put two people in a closet together for seven minutes and they have to beat the absolute shit out of each other.

Logan: Remy, I'm going to say this once; go the fuck to sleep.

~~~

I love how my chapters went from 5 cracks per chapter to fucking 14. ~ Jay