Roman's drunk, naked, and running through the streets as Patton, Virgil, and Logan chase him with blankets to cover him up:

Patton: Please stop running so we can cover you!

Roman: NO! DO NOT HIDE MY BEAUTY! THIS IS WHAT THEY WANT!

Virgil: NOBODY WANTS THIS, PUT CLOTHES ON OR SO HELP ME-

Logan: Oh god, there's a crowd forming...

(A/N: Damn it Roman, put some clothes on!)

~~~

Virgil: Can you guys stop fighting-

Roman: NO!

-

Roman: I am a lesbian-

-

Virgil: I want to fling myself into the sun so hard my dick falls off.

-

Roman: [choking noises]

Virgil: Kinky.

-

Roman, talking to Virgil: I will personally make sure you die of food poisoning you good for nothing bowl of cereal-

(A/N: I am so sorry.)

~~~

Roman and Virgil hang out, they're probably both drunk:

Roman, while Virgil's flossing in the background: Stop dancing!

-

Virgil, holding a mannequin head: Yay I always wanted a baby!

Roman: Virgil, be careful, we don't know who's that is.

Virgil: [Throws it over his shoulder]

-

Roman, while Virgil's trying to hug him: Virgil get off me I know you're a lesbian but get off me-

Virgil: [moans]

-

Virgil: [smashes a vase]

Roman: VIRGIL STOP-

(A/N: Again, I am so sorry.)

~~~

Patton: Why is the ocean so salty?

Logan, reading a book: [rolls eyes] I don't know, why?

Patton: Because that beach never waves back.

Logan: [closes the book and repeatedly hits it on his head]

~~~

The Sides As The Types Of Drunks:

Logan: The Nonsense Drunk

Roman: The Flirty Drunk

Patton: The Clumsy Drunk

Virgil: The Party Animal Drunk

Deceit: The Clingy Drunk

Remy: The Emotional Drunk

~~~

Roman, picking up a lemon: When life gives you lemons you say, "I don't want your damn lemons!" [Throws lemon]

Roman: "I'm going to burn your house down, WITH COMBUSTIBLE LEMONS-"

~~~

Patton: You want dating advice? Go to a big crowd and shout Marco.

Patton: Whoever shouts Polo is the one.

~~~

This is by far my most random chapter. ~ Jay