Dukexiety

This is just self indulgent so if it's TOO dark then that's why :)

Okay this is alot, TW: mentions of Remus having Intrusive Thoughts, Depressive talk, Attempt to starve to death, Janus Hissing truths.

Virgil POV

You really think you're helpful? You really think you do anything other than scare Thomas? You really think that the light sides actually like you? Everyone has their dark sides, even them. You can tell what their insecurities are, what they fear and dread, you could easily freak them out. Roman hated you since you first came along. Logan was so unsure of you and Patton tried to avoid you. The dark sides never did that. They welcomed you. They needed you. And you betrayed them. They won't accept you now, so who do you live for?

Who are you here for?

Who are you alive for?

Remus POV

I haven't seen Virgil recently, now that I think about it. Well, actually I've been thinking about him for a couple of weeks now, I haven't been able to get him off my mind but of course, I fear that if I try to go find him, The voice will tell me to rip off his hood with his head it razer stab his stomach, pouring his blood out of his body so he's just a mangled body on the floor. I don't really want him dead. That's the truth, in fact. He's the one I want to keep alive the most out of everyone here. I hope he's okay.

*Jazz hands*Time skip to next dayyyyyy*Jazz hands*

Now I'm getting worried about him and that's his job, not mine! I stand up from my bed, marching into the dark side's main room to see Janus, watching a Disney film, mocking it. He looks back at me as I rip the doorknob to walk outside, he calls my name.

"Why are you staying?" He asks me.

"I'm going to check on Viiiiiii, thinking about inviting him over for a marvel film or something, or maybe a horror film."

"And let you shout in happinesss at the TV whenever someone diesss, and laugh your asses off when ssssomeone getsss Jumpssscared?"

"I mean, yeah?" Duh! What else am I gonna do? Keeping quiet during a movie is so boring.

"Okay." Yeah you better not object.

"What are you doing here, Remus?" Roman asks, not in a sassy tone or anything. Just more curious than anything when he opens the door to the light sides to reveal me.

"I'm here to check on Virgil." I say, simply. "While I'm here, do you have any deodorant? I've lost mine which is a pain."

"You didn't lose it, you ate it." He smirks.

"Aaandd?"

"What ever." He says, letting me walk through and into the small common room of the light sides to see Logan and Patton curled up together on the sofa, watching the TV. "We've been worried about Virgil too. But he won't answer us. I wish he would trust us a little more." I stare at Roman, glancing at Logan and Patton with a frown of concern.

"Like that's ever gonna happen." I blurt, even if it's not the best thing to say in the moment. I should be trying to make him feel better but how do I do that? I'm dark creativity. I am a dark side. I use humour as a way of sharing my feelings and emotions. I'm only here to check on Vi anyway. Now, where is his room?

Meanwhile,

Virgil POV

Who the hell was visiting the light sides? Remus or Janus? I bet they've come to gloat or something. You're not even accepted in the dark sides anymore, and the light sides don't need the burden of keeping you away from Thomas so he doesn't freak out all the time and overthink about petty things. Perhaps starving yourself isn't quick enough. Perhaps you should do some more drastic measures...

Back to Remus POV

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

"Viiiii!" I call through his door. "Janus and I wanna invite you round for a horror movie! I'm going insane with just having Janus around. Actually," I start blushing. "I've missed having you around. What ya doing in there? Can I come in? I wanna see your room." There's no response from the other side of the door as I see the doorknob go a little greyer. "Virgil, you're making me worried and you know me, I don't get worried. I'm more of a, ride till ya die kinda guy." That's my version of 'I'm worrying about you'. When he doesn't respond once again, I knock on his door again. "Virgil, answer me. Are you in there?" please respond. "I'll come in and make a grand entrance. And, and I'll steal your deodorant." that's my threat. "Virgil!"

Forcefully, I open the door, practically barging in, now that's a grand entrance. I throw my hands up in the air being dramatic and yelling out!

"Your superhero is at your service." I bow, grinning giddly as the door slams shut. I stand back up straight to see Virgil on his bed, knees tucked into his chest, arms around them, looking more pale than usually in the dim light of his lamp in the far corner of his room. He looks up at me with a stone cold glare. "Erm... hi...."

"Get out." He says with a sore, croaking throat. Why is he so pale and why does he seem to be so weak? Is he okay, has he even eaten in like a week? How many days ago - now I'm worrying and overthinking and I'm meant to be like a carefree side.

"Virgil? What -"

Virgil POV

He's only here to mock you and make you feel bad about not being a light side anymore. About not being with them, he's only here to make you feel bad about yourself, he's only here for Roman and you just happen to be in your room. He's not here for you.

He's not here for me.

Remus POV

"How long ago was it when you last ate?" I ask, edging closer to him and he looks away from my eyes. "Virgil, why are you-"

"Get out. I didn't give you permission to come in here, demanding answers that you're never getting."

"Virgil I came to check on you, you haven't been out, you haven't been in a video with Thomas and you usually come to me and Jan on the weekends. I came because I was worried about you." I tell him, seriously, sincerely and honestly. He ignores my words once again and I choose to sit beside him and he turns his head opposite me, refusing to look me in the eyes. "Vi, please tell me something,"

"You don't need to know anything."

"We're friends aren't we?" He seems to freeze in the moment at those words, why? I don't know. It's like he doesn't realise I care. I mean, I don't act like it, sure. I never act like I care about the sides let alone call them my friends. Before the only person I would call myself friends with was Janus but even the light sides didn't hate me or Roman when they found out I was dark creativity. Virgil was my only friend at one point. He was the only one who cared to listen to my problems and the first to believe me about the voice inside my head. Maybe I want to be more than friends. That's why I want to be here for him. "Virgil." He forces his head to slowly turn my way and he's not glaring at me anymore. Did I actually get through to him? "There ya go!"

"What are you doing here?" He demands one more time.

"I was worried about you." I say with a Cheshire smile. He isn't actually hiding his emotions to me which is odd. Especially for Virgil. I see his lips quirk into a small smirk.

"Didn't you always tell me not to worry all the time?"

"This is different. You are always worrying. I do not." Not about everyone anyway... mainly Virgil.

"Well... I am fine.." He lies. "And I'm staying in here." He looks away, again avoiding my gaze. "No one needs me on the light side. I'm not accepted in the dark sides. I just don't belong anywhere."

"What?" I scoff. "You believe that?"

"Duh."

"You're always welcomed with Janus and I, And if the light sides don't like you or you think they don't need you then come to us." I told him. I'd love to have him around more. "I miss you."

"Sure you do..."

"I do actually. How long have you been in here for?" I ask, trying to change the subject.

"Like a week." He mutters under his breath.

"Well, have you eaten?"

He's silent for a moment before answering "No."

"What?!" He could die of starvation any moment now!!! "Virgil! You need to eat!" He can't die on me, he stares at me with another glare.

"Don't you think there's a reason why I'm not eating or drinking?!" He shouts with a shaking breath. "Huh?! You don't think? You don't consider that maybe there's a reason, Remus?!" My eyes widen unintentionally as he grits his teeth as if he's about to growl at me just like a cat. He wants to die? He wants to leave us? I can't even begin to imagine what life might be like without him.

"Virgil, no. Please don't."

"Well you don't need me and staying in here is the only way to not bring attention to it. But it's too slow."

"You think I don't need you?" His anxiety and fear must have told him that I don't need him. "Huh,"

"What?" He questions, harshly.

"You're the one I need the most." He blinks at me as if I'm crazy. (Well he is tho. that's the irony) "Virgil, I'm being serious." Instead of denying it, I see small tears gather in his eyes, as his hands shake around his knees. "Vi, what's that voice been telling you?" Lies I assume.

"I want it to stop." he says through gritted teeth as he grips his legs in anger. "I don't want to be anxiety anymore." surprisingly, he breaks down in front of my eyes, keeping his on mine. "I don't want to-'' I pull him into a tight but hopefully warm embrace so he's caught in my arms. "Re?" He sounds confused and I smile at his reaction.

"The Duke is here for you, just don't go. Please."

"The Duke?" He chuckles softly, loosening up. He lets himself fall to my chest and my heart races inside my chest, blushing like crazy. He hugs me back, arms around my stomach, holding me close as if I'm the one who needs comforting. "Now this is unexpected."

"Shuddup you bum."

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