(This story is gonna have two different endings. One smut ending and one fluff ending. Warning!: this is the smut ending. Next oneshot will be fluff ending!) (Logan's POV to start)

    Test one: Patton
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  I gathered together different writing utensils and field journals. I was planning a series of tests to use on the other Faucets of Thomas's mind and myself of course.

   For the next couple days, I will be studying how Thomas is affected when his personalities drink alcohol and what will happen to him when they are fully intoxicated.

    I have decided to test Patton first, him being the most emotional side of us. I am curious to see how he will act when intoxicated and how it will affect our host.

    I grab a small, blue cooler that contained several beers and made my way to the father-figure's room. I had spoken to the other sides about this matter and they all agreed upon partaking in my experiments.

   I knocked firmly on Patton's door, waiting for him to awnser his baby blue door. Patton swung the door open, his signature wide grin on his face. "Come on in Lo!" He said happily, before skipping away from the door, more into his room.

   I followed slowly, setting my things down on his bed. "Alright Patton, the beers are in this coolor" I gestured to my blue cooler. "Drink until you are feeling hazy minded and loopy. I will be taking notes." Patton just nodded, pulling a can from the cooler. 

   Soon Patton showed many signs of intoxication. The wobbly step, the occasional hiccup and... The emotions.
Patton laid on the floor, face down as he sobbed into his arms.

   "I-i j-just *hic* dont kn-know anymore!" Patton cried. "Patton, dogs have the tendency to be cute, there is not a need to know why." I said, very annoyed. He had been crying about how he did not know why dogs were so adorable.

   He soon cried himself to sleep, laying in a mess of tears and blankets on the floor. "Ugh... Emotions, the bane of my existence" I murmured before exiting Morality's room.

   I sunk down and appeared in Thomas's living room. Thomas looked just as emotional as Patton did. I quickly wrote down notes and sunk back down to my room.

     Test two: Roman
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   I was not looking forward to this. Roman can be over-dramatic and after seeing how Morality acted, I am not excited for this.

   I knocked upon Roman's door, once again, carrying my blue cooler and journals. Roman opened the door. "Let us get this over with calculator watch. I've had a trying day and I would like to see how alcohol would help!" He opened the door more to let me in.

    I walked in and carefully sat down my things. Roman shut the door and took a seat on his bed. "The beers are in this cooler. Drink until intoxicated and I will keep an eye on you until you either pass out or become sober." I explained as Roman pulled out one of the beers.

    Soon enough, Roman was quite drunk. He had drunken much more than Morality did and he was visibly swaying where he sat. His face was bright red.

   "You know Logan... You're quite *hic* hot now that I *hic* think about it~" Roman said in a seductive manner. "No! Roman back away!" I yelled as Roman slowly stood from his bed and made his way towards me. 'I should have expected this from Thomas's romantic side!' I thought as I quickly jolted down things in my journal as I ran away from Roman.

   Roman tripped over a crown that lay on the floor by the couch, amd toppled over the back of the couch and onto the cushions. I took my chance and bolted out of the room, locking it on the way out. After the door was closed, I sighed with relief before taking a few more notes.

    Sinking down, I was met with Thomas's room when I popped up. Thomas was flirting with someone on the phone. I wrote down "More flirtatious" before sinking down again.

     Test Three: Virgil
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    Quite exhausted from the last two, I made my way up to Virgil's door. I would never admit it out loud, but I have taken a fondness to Virgil. I was interested to see how he would react to alcohol.

    After knocking, Virgil opened his door slightly. "Oh. It's just you." He said, sounding a bit anxious before opening his door for me. He walked to a corner of his room as I entered and sat criss-cross on the floor. I shut the door behind me.

    "Alright Virgil, I want you to drink as many as it takes to intoxicate you and I will take notes on your behaviour. I won't leave until you either pass out, become sober, or chase me around the room trying to seduce me." I said that last part with great annoyance.

    He broke out in laughter, causing a small smile to form in my face. "Who the fuck did that!?" He laughed out. "Roman" I responded, chuckling slightly. He laughed for a bit longer before grabbing a beer and raising it up. "Here's to science" he toasted before taking a swig.

    Awhile later, Virgil was on his fifth beer and still showed no results of intoxication. "I don't understand. Why isn't it working?" I asked aloud, taking notes on the situation. "I guess im one of those 'can't get drunk' type" he said plainly, finishing his fifth beer.

   "Interesting" I murmured. "I am going to check in Thomas. Maybe this is affecting him somehow" I said, standing up from Anxiety's bed. "Alright" he shrugged. I sunk down and appeared in Thomas's living rook again.

    Thomas looked normal, except he did seem less anxious than usual. 'Hmm' I thought before sinking down again.

    Test Four: Logan
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    This was going to be more difficult. I needed to find someone I could trust to take good notes while I was drunk. I could certainly not rely on Roman or Patton so I had no choice but to ask Virgil. Virgil agreed and followed me to my room.

     He sat down on my desk chair and opened the field journal I had been taking notes in. "Alright Logan, get to it" he said with a smirk, gesturing to my cooler. I nodded and began drinking my first beer.

     (Virgil's POV)
   It didn't take long for Logan to get hammered. He was slurring his words amd hiccuping left amd right. It was actually pretty funny to see the calm amd collected brain be disorganized and flustered. He kept talking about random facts. I wrote down "Kept speaking his mind."

    "You know Veeerge *hic* Roman and Patton are *hic* cuuute together" Logan said, standing up from his bed. I stood just in case, because he was pretty loopy. He started walking, but his legs gave out and I had to quickly catch him. "Logan!" I said, looking down at him. "Are you okay?" I asked a bit anxious to be holding my crush like this.

     He looked up at me, his glasses slipping down his face. "Y-you know Virge, I like you" I blushed. "W-what?" I asked. "I don't just like yooou. I love you" he said, buryinghis face in the crook of my neck. "L-logan I-" I was cut off by him kissing my neck.

    "Lo! What are you doing?" I asked quickly, my face now burning hot. "I wanna *hic* seduce you~" he said, kissing my neck more. "No Logan! I can't take advantage of you whil-" I suddenly cut off. He found my sweet spot.

    I let out a low growl as he attacked my sweet spot. I quickly grabbed him and pinned him to the wall, no longer in control. I kissed him roughly, feeling him kiss back. I could taste the alcohol in his mouth, but I didn't care. I quickly removed my jacket, not breaking the kiss.

    We eventually got to a point where we were gasping for air. The kiss became more passionate as we started tonguing each other roughly as I removed his tie and shirt. He slippdd his hands under my shirt and broke the kiss momentarily to lift it over my head. Soon we were bith shirtless and he started going for my jeans.

    I pulled him to the bed, swinging him around and pushing him onto the bed. He looked up at me with seductive eyes, his glasses ascue. He started quickly undoing his belt as I slipped my jeans off. We were both in our boxers as I straddled him. I started palming him through his boxers, kissing him again.

    He moaned into my mouth, gripping my shoulder. I moved my hand and moved slightly so I could part his legs. I slipped my body inbetween his legs, starting to rut my hard cock against his. We were both a moaning and groaning mess. I reached down and slipped his his boxers off, taking mine off after.

     I lined myself with his ass, not even bothering to prepare him first. I summoned lube and poured some into the calm of my hand. I jerked myself off slightly to lube my cock up before lining it back up with Logan's ass. I looked up at him for an okay.

     "P-please V!" He whimpered, groaning right after. I slipped inside him, moaning out from his warmth. He winced from slight pain. Once I was completely inside, I waited a minute before starting to thrust into him. I took his cock in my hand as I did so.

    Logan was a mess, bucking slighly into my hand as I thrusted into his ass. "V-virgil Im c-close!" He moaned/shouted. I jerked him off roughly, growing close myself. Soon enough, we both came, Logan groaning loudly. I moaned Logan's name before growing limp over his body.

    After a bit, I climbed off him and put my clothes back on. I left the sleeping logical side there, grabbing his journal and sinking down. I popped up in Thomas's living room to see him completely spaced out. I wrote down "brain dead for a little while" before sinking down to my room.

     (Logan's POV)
  I woke up with a painful migraine. I slowly sat up, shivering. "Odd. Its usually quits warm in hear" I murmured to myself before looking down. 'Im naked?!' My head screamed before I snapped my fingers, putting my clothes on. 'What happened' I thought.

   I decided to go see Virgil to collect my field jounal and to ask what the actual fuck happened. Right when I was going to knock, he opened his door. He let out a squeak amd almost dropped the book in his hands. "Don't scare me like that!" He shouted. I flinched and heald my head.

    "Keep it down would ya? Where is my journal?" I asked, lowering my hands. He handed me the book in his hands. "Thank you, now another question. What the hell happened yesterday?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. He hesitated before speaking.

    "You... May or may not have admitted your feelings for me-" I tensed "I-" before I could speak, he finished his sentence. "-aand we had sex... I didn't mean too! I tried to stop you but then you found my swwet spot amd I lost control and-" I cut him off there with a kiss to the cheek.

     "Calm down V. Does this mean you like me back?" He nodded slowly. I smirked amd hugged him. "I should get drunk more often" I said before winking at him and leaving to my room. 'That ought to leave him flustered' I thought with a smile.

     (Virgil's POV)
   "WhAt ThE fUcK jUsT hApPeNeD?!"

The end of the smut version.

Hope y'all liked it.

Take it easy guys, gals, and my fellow non-binary pals! Peace out!

-Marsh